Bad Boys Club

Reviewed by: Ian & David

Copyright © 2007 ? All Rights Reserved

Studio : Studio 2000

This is a different video actually. It starts off okay, goes downhill, then picks back up and ends okay too. So, I guess I am a little surprised by that, because lately the wife has been picking out some really crappy videos to watch. Hell, was starting to feel so disillusioned, that was thinking of canceling our Friday Night video affair, but this one at least is going to keep it happening for another week or two.

It is hard to explain, but the dialog sucks at times, then at others times, it is okay. The shots go from really good, to really bad, but at least in this one, it is more of good camera shots, than bad. Angles and all, seem to be a bit more professionally done, than many of the others we have watched.

One of the things that sort of pissed me off, was the spitting. Man talk about loud, and often. I don’t know, just didn’t exactly make me horny to see some guy spitting from a distance down, to either a cock or another’s asshole. The wife didn’t mind it too much, but it was done so poorly. I mean, okay maybe not poorly, but just sort of gross really.

In all honesty, there was also a bit of a plot to the whole thing, which sort of came off. I suppose it is too much to expect in porn films to actually have a real plot, or story line, that is followed, but hell I can dream, right?

While it wasn’t spectacular, it was enough to get the wife to shoot his load. He sort of had to struggle during the second scene, but if you fast forward through that one, the rest really aren’t bad. There at least was some decent cock shots, good ass fucking shots, and best of all, decent cum shots.

I mean you knew they had cum, not from the over the top sounds, but the lovely white stuff pooling up on the nice firm bellies. So worth the price? I guess, I mean compared to some of the other shit, definitely worth it.

Earth Guys Are Easy

Reviewed by The Gaystoryman

Copyright © 2006 ? All Rights Reserved

Well give these guys some credit I suppose for trying a story line or premise really. The concept is that some Alien being has come down to experience sex, and assumes the bodies of his victims, in order to get the full benefit of experiencing the sex.

Now its not a bad concept, not my cup of tea, but it is something. However the use of darkness to convey something sinister, is rather B Grade stuff left over from the 1950’s. It just really becomes annoying more than anything, and rather quickly too.

In some sense it also made the video dark, or at least that was the attempt I think. It just didn’t have much to it, and was rather, well, dull. The dialogue and scene breaks were rather bizarre that didn’t add to the sex fantasy attempting to be created.

Problem was, there was a fair amount of talking, but only shadows to look at. Nothing to sort of grab your eye or make you grab something else.

Scene 1

The lighting sucks and actually doesn’t improve throughout the video. You do have to wonder if they maybe were going with a seamy look, that just didn’t quite catch on.

Not that there really was much worth looking at. The actors were obviously not chosen for looks, but perhaps merely for their fee demands. No expressions really and I mean how long can you suck on a dick and not be bored? With these guys, they started bored, and it didn’t get better.

Lot of grunts and groans too, and frankly the grimace and shriek of pain was well, bit out of sync. I mean who grimaces when their cock is being sucked unless the guy is biting on it?

Now I don’t know, but spitting into a guy’s ass, watching it from a distance splat down on his spread apart ass cheeks. Certainly didn’t get me aroused for more of the video, never mind scene. Just sort of done in a gross out manner that wasn’t what I’d call seductive one little bit.

There were some decent penis shots though. The ending attempted to recapture the movie plot, and it was really badly done. Part of that is due to the very muffled tinny dialogue used. It just was too annoying to be of value.

Scene 2

The lead in stunk. The take one actor from scene 1 and move him into scene 2. Seeing that I hoped they wouldn’t continue it, but like I guess I still can dream.

Very bad lighting and the set layout. I mean what are these producers thinking when they suddenly add props to a scene? I mean this one starts out in an alley, then all of a sudden they add a chesterfield. Like we’d not notice that at first? It just was what, teleported down for them to use?

I hate when they start a scene, then add major design changes and figure no one will notice. It shows a total lack of respect for the viewer.

Again, very dark and rotten dialogue. Expressions were not matching the action and sure, there were some decent cock shots. However the way they kept moving camera angles around a person could develop whiplash. There wasn’t a good flow to the camera changes, and certainly didn’t add anything to one’s viewing enjoyment.

The edit of the scene was terrible. It really was noticeable or maybe it was the lack of good editing skills that was noticeable more? Lot more could have been done to make the scene more viewer friendly, with some simple edit techniques. Mind you even adding a light bulb would have helped too.

What is with the spitting?

I know one uses it in place of lubricant, but geez, turn the volume down when the guy does it. Scared the dog even when the one spat. It was like something hit our front window, hard rain or something. Then too, the dialogue, music, and sex sounds were just as poorly executed. Guess I expected more.

Again, lack of expressions and grimaces from being fucked and the view of the penis going in shows it is soft? Like uh, how did he get it in that way, but how in fuck could a limp dick cause any pain? I mean no way was it a first time for the bottom, so uh, again, don’t use sounds that don’t fit, and don’t use faked expressions that really don’t fit.

One thing that did make us sit up a bit, was that the bottom let some gas out. It was really quite well heard, again showing how poorly the edit job was. Then too there is the sudden appearance of a bottle going in one’s ass, while they jerk off.

What, they couldn’t afford a fucking dildo? A damn bottle?

Scene 3

I know people have limited budgets for these type of films. But I mean what, they couldn’t use a different chesterfield than the one from the alley that magically appeared?

The opening dialogue was terrible. It really makes you wonder if whoever wrote this went to school, and if the actors speaking the lines ever finished kindergarten. The whole thing really made this scene a joke more than anything.

Here too the lighting wasn’t great. I mean come on, its in an office, you would think they could turn on an extra lamp or something. Mind you it was better than the supposed outdoor scenes earlier.

Then there was the grunts. I mean both actors clearly have their mouths closed, but boy do they make loud sounds anyhow. Kind of like they added it afterwards, well I mean it was obvious at the start that the sex sounds were added. Found it rather sad actually, to hear the exact same voice for both actors, as well as from the earlier scenes.

Obviously the budget was super low.

The cum shots weren’t bad. The kissing however was a super turn off. Then too, did the camera man take a coffee break? From one scene of wild angles every three seconds to this one, where the camera had to have been crazy glued in spot. BORING!

Scene 4

Now the way I am used to porn is that the least good looking starts the film off. It then progresses to the last scene that has the hottest actors, and the hottest scenes.

Seems reasonable to me, but I guess not to the producers of this film. The concept of transporting all up to the mother ship, and then engaging in an orgy is a nice concept. Turning on some lights might have helped pull that off. Having good looking actors would definitely have helped.

You don’t get to see much of the actor faces. Perhaps the producers were ashamed of them? Or they all had a massive outbreak of zits? Thing is, the way these actors are shown, you don’t get attached. I mean with producers like Bel Ami, you want to see other films a certain actor is in. You follow their stars, and with other studios too. Yet here, well, they show you very little of the attractive features, so why would you bother?

Think maybe the director and camera person joined in. I mean it started off with four actors, ended with six. Go figure, a bonus no one really noticed.

Oh and as to the bonus features. I think they shouldn’t have wasted time adding them. The galleries, if you can call them that, were minimal at best. Trailers were just fast forwarded shots. I mean nothing flashed past that got me wanting to see the movie.

For all the movie, I have to say that the choices of music sort of fit the premise. However I also think that they could have done a lot better, and man was it overpowering too. Sort of drowned out some of the voice overs as well.

Duelling Dicks

Reviewed by The Gaystoryman

Copyright © 2006 ? All Rights Reserved

To be honest, I have no idea where to begin with this Review. Perhaps the pain and suffering should be over quick, this one is a warning. Stay Clear of It!

I have seen some pretty poor videos over the years, but when the best you can say about a video is that it is 56 minutes long which is way too long, well does that sort of give you a hint?

The introduction scenario is to say the least, confusing and virtually non existent. At the start you really have no clue what the premise is, even looking at the video title. I mean what, two guys battling it out using their cocks instead of swords?

You are faced with four actors. Frankly not very good looking ones either. Least not of my taste. Some annoying voice then splits them up and gives them locations to go on and do it.

Do what?

Anyhow suddenly we are being bombarded with camera action of guys sucking, and groaning. Some aren’t even undressed yet but hey, the sound effects are there. I suppose its to get you in the mood, for me it was a total turn off. Some of the looks too, I mean one looked as confused as I was in watching.

But hey it doesn’t get any better either.

A sort of haunting melody begins playing, that is, well no where near being suitable for what one sees. Nice tunes but not for these two sets of guys humping or sucking, least I think that is what they were doing.

Hands cover up the cocks, camera angles give you some really good thigh shots, even butt cheeks, but penetration? Long slimy poles? Nah, who needs that in a porn video, or so the producers obviously feel.

Yes on occasion you do get a glimpse or two of some balls, some cock, and even the odd asshole. Assuming you squint or are totally focused on the video. For myself I have to admit, I was more interested in the wife grabbing me a glass of water than the huge drawn out fuck scene.

The lighting for both scenes was pitiful. I mean it was bad enough that actors had their hands covering the poles to the point where you wondered if there really was a cock there. Were they hard dicks? Damn if I know. I mean kind of hard to really tell.

The music was the kind one uses to fall asleep to. Course the action shown was pretty well doing that on its own. It really was like more of a sleep video than a porn video. Wonder if anyone got paid for this rendition of BORING?

The constant switching of action shots from one set to the other could give you whiplash. There was no flow, no nothing to it. Just wham one minute you see a clenched butt slamming up against another, hear some wild shrieks, then without notice are treated to a mouth going up and down on something. Hard to know as knees and legs got in the way.

Hey scene two wasn’t any different. I mean they could have saved the fees paid to the actors by simply using the footage from the first scene. After all, no dicks, no assholes, how would anyone know they were the same? Okay maybe by the hands, or cheeks, but the sound effects were the same. I mean no discernable change in voices canned over the filming. So maybe the footage was the same? Not like you could really tell.

Thing is, when you rent a porn video, you expect to see cum shots, you expect to see good images of hard cocks, full balls, and nice pink holes. What you really don’t want to see the most is bare knuckles, hips gyrating, and hear the actors cum but see nothing but blurred bellies. However, that is what you get with this flick.

Like I said, for me and the wife, this one was a non starter. I mean hell, the wife pulled his pants up after 15 minutes. Now you know that has to be bad, if even he can’t get stimulated enough to warrant a bit of hand action. The best feature of this video was the ending. No, not when the last set of four were whacking off, when the video was ejected from the machine. Not like there were even any trailers or such to go check out.

So give this one a nice big fat ZERO.

Pillow Talk 1

Reviewed by Gaystoryman

Copyright © 2006 ? All Rights Reserved

General

In the Twink Niche they say that Bel Ami is the leader and is heads and shoulders above all the other studios out there. For the most part they may be right, but you know, this particular DVD certainly wasn’t one of those that set that standard. I mean to me, Bel Ami does set the bar pretty high for gay porn movies and models, but this video left me feeling a bit disappointed.

I liked the premise though. I mean the concept of seeing two hot Bel Ami boys and their bedroom experiences is inspiring. I mean a lot does go on in a person’s bedroom despite the antics of the Religious Right. So it sort of makes sense to make a movie revolving around that premise. Hell it inspired my Bedroom Chronicles anthology series I have kicked off here. Still I was left a bit disappointed.

Scene 1.

I enjoyed the opening to this scene. It showed the two models cavorting together in a carnival setting. I loved the smiling, the camaraderie that was shown between the two actors even. It sort of felt inviting as you get a bit of a feel that these are just normal guys with some pretty good looks thrown in. You sort of see the friendship as well which makes it more personalable.

The talk among the actors wasn’t stilted either. It appeared far more natural than one is used to in porn movies. It made you totally believe that you were spying in on these two as they made out on the bed.

The lighting, the camera angles were all excellent. It was a true Bel Ami scene in that you had good shots of the whole penis, and of the penetration. It didn’t come across as fake and I suppose for me, the biggest enjoyment was watching these two actors enjoy their performance.

They didn’t look bored or over the top either. The use of decent camera angles helped as did the attention to showing the whole action. The added use of filming the action as seen in the mirror was a nice touch. It was clear and different enough to impress.

I also enjoyed the simple fact that neither of the actors seemed to be complacent. They both were touching, kissing or something that implied real sex, not the boring ‘let’s get it over with’ type many videos seem to have. These guys actually made you believe it was fun. It made the fantasy work.

On the downside, some of the moaning was a bit overdone. Course there are some who really do moan that way and I suppose he was one. However it was a bit over the top and you might tend to think it was a bit more of over acting than real. Still it wasn’t enough to ruin the dream.

The use of props was interesting. The filming through the bed netting was not a hindrance either. It sort of helped with the fantasy too. Course it was a nice bedroom layout and the creaking bed just sort of made it all real.

Again, that is what Bel Ami has become known for. They put effort into the filming. They don’t rely on one stage layout. They make it different enough to separate their themes or scenes and it works for me. Sure it might take more money to do, and even more time, but overall this is what makes a video worth watching and owning.

Scene 2

Now here things get different. I don’t know but in viewing the credits I noticed that it appears to have been a collaborative effort on the producing. This particular scene didn’t have that George Duryov touch to it.

It was introduced with the two stars on the beach in Speedos. Nice but no real good close ups to get you thinking either. The action wasn’t fluid enough between the two. Now maybe it simply was that these particular two models weren’t close, or familiar enough with each other but it just didn’t make me feel like they would be sharing like in the first scene.

Overall, this particular scene just didn’t take off for me. It was too stilted and not what I have come to expect from Bel Ami or from Bel Ami boys. The sex sounds were too unreal or overplayed for my tastes. They rang false and that usually turns me off immediately.

They weren’t animated enough either. I mean frankly they looked bored with each other which really isn’t a Bel Ami trait. They simply didn’t pull it off despite some good camera work.

The cutting of the scene to where you saw the action on one side, and then the same action being reflected in a mirror was unusual and well done. It would have been better if the two actors had been more animated, more aroused. Now yes they were hard, but they just didn’t excite me.

Simply put, if the actors aren’t excited, how am I supposed to get a hard on and all?

There was a lot less kissing, fondling of each other too. It sort of made me think that one was merely a pick up boy for the night. I mean there was no passion, no spark between the two that one is used to in Bel Ami productions. No humour or wit.

Nice penis shots, and as usual the cum shots were good. Still it fell flat for me on the whole.

Scene 3

The Market scene was a nice touch. It was totally on target with the actors too. The by play with the flower vendor was great. It made the two actors much more life like, more real. It certainly was a good set up too. I mean it made you think of the premise more, and let your imagination go wandering. It sort of made me think of walking downtown with my own partner.

Part of what helped is that there were good close up shots. I mean you could see the smiles and the teeth. Not to mention you could see the feeling reflected not just in the Actors faces, but in their eyes too. It was what was missing in Scene 2.

The whole scene hooked me too. I mean it didn’t seem forced or faked. The sound effects were believable and what can you say, the camera angles covered it all nicely. Despite the cavorting actions of the two actors, the camera seemed to capture it all in good crisp clear detail. Good edit job for certain.

It was a good sex scene too. I mean the close up facial shots only re-enforced the action being shown. It was evident by the facial muscles and sounds that these guys were enjoying it all. Maybe it was just superb acting, but who cares. One believed it and isn’t that the mission of an actor? To make you believe in the role they are portraying?

The rim job was good. It showed what it should and it was done with class, style too if you will. The groans and facial expressions of the actor receiving the rimming made you believe in it. If you have had that pleasure, you know what I mean because it is a very hot and arousing sensation to experience. Its not for everyone but well documented in this scene.

The way these guys moved around wasn’t like the first scene, but close. It was totally realistic and nothing was missed by the camera either. Again the foreplay action was enticing, and enjoyable.

The switching from one position to another was done with style and seemed real. It didn’t come across as staged which is another plus. Downside was that I found some of the moans a bit overdone, over played even. But I can forgive that because the action and clarity all helped with the fantasy.

I enjoyed seeing the expressions on the actor faces. It made me believe in the action more, as did the constant movement. The kissing, touching was back in this scene and it all added to making this a good scene. Hell it got the wife shooting so it had to be good. After all she rarely shoots before the last scene of a video, but this was time number 2 already. Had to be a good sign.

Scene 4

The introduction was on a huge pool and fountain. It was different with some good shots of the surrounding city/town. Unfortunately not very good close up of the actors. Not easy to distinguish them in this intro, unlike scenes 1 and 3. Kind of made me think this would be like scene 2 and not your typical Bel Ami scene.

I was right too.

The actual action between the two stars just wasn’t up to what I perceive as the Bel Ami standard. It lacked the emotion, the style, at least in the beginning. However it was one of those scenes that sort of grows on you. There was a lot more dialogue going on between the two, which was a change. Unfortunately this movie had no subtitles and so the conversation fell flat.

I assume that if one knew what was being said it might have added to the overall impression. However, without that knowledge it sort of took away from my enjoyment. The stilted beginning sort of tainted it for me as well though it had some good bright spots along the way.

The putting on the condom was a nice and good touch. Again that was a bit more like Bel Ami. The attention to those little details. Too bad they don’t expand a bit on just how erotic it can be to put condoms on nice stiff dicks. Would do a world of good for promoting safe sex.

The edit of this scene was a bit disjointed. It didn’t have the flow I expect and so it too took away a little from enjoying the action. Nice camera shots of the cocks and of the penetration as well. Still it was choppy in moving from angle to angle and so I wonder who was doing the edit work on this scene.

It was also a bit more rougher than I am used to in Bel Ami videos. The horseplay was bordering a bit on the kinky side, which you know, was rather a nice change of pace. Again something I would expect from Bel Ami. I am not sure if I liked this scene or not. Not as much as perhaps the last one or first, but in its own way it was enticing. I like that word by the way. Says a lot.

The ending of this scene or ending portion was much more realistic than at the start. It made up for that in a way, though not totally. Too bad they hadn’t started off this way and continued, but then maybe the dialogue set it up. Hard to tell when you haven’t a clue as to what they are saying.

Scene 5

You have to love Bel Ami who gives you not just quality, but decent content as well. Five scenes maybe though is a bit much at times. The wife had a sore dick as he was stroking himself (yes with some help) through the entire video. However, this scene was set up with the actors on a balcony. It had some good close ups and the horseplay was nice. Though in all honesty it wasn’t exploited like the others. It was one of the shorter introductions to the bedroom action.

Still it had that Bel Ami style where it was different than the other previous scenes.

If anything this particular scene had more humour in it. There was laughter and good natured fun happening between the two actors. It sort of was a light scene which was rather different too. I mean you can’t just be totally into fucking and sucking, you do have some moments of fun when engaged in sex. I know I enjoy it more when the wife and I laugh and horse around. Tickling the wife is great fun and boy does it get him excited too. So this scene sort of fit for me.

Again more dialogue that wasn’t subtitled. It perhaps is the one sticking point about Bel Ami. They aren’t in English so it is either subtitled which can distract you or it isn’t which is also annoying. I mean damn it, I want to know what sexy things those studs are saying to each other. They have some damn nice sounding voices and it does add to the fantasy.

The music was okay but the motion, the animation of the actors is truly what helps make this a decent film to watch. I hate it when they just lie there and with Bel Ami they sure don’t. The constant touching, fondling, kissing, is all part of the dream. It makes it real and for this premise, it is even more important. After all if this is about guys in their bedroom, you would hope they wouldn’t be bringing in strangers. That notion kind of suddenly makes me wonder more about the two scenes I wasn’t thrilled with.

I mean sometimes we do bring home one nighter’s. When we do, they aren’t all that animated either and are more mechanical. So maybe those scenes were deliberately toned down to add to the illusion of the video theme? Hey, its possible given that this is a Bel Ami production.

Overall

While I am not 100% impressed by this video, for a pay per view or rental its not bad really. I suppose it depends on just what is it you are seeking in your video entertainment?

The wife likes to see cum shots, to get him off on and Bel Ami certainly has some of the best cum shots I have seen. Their photography is top grade and for the most part, their models are pleasing to the eye as well. The build up to the final cum shots are generally good, though in this movie I was not impressed in all of it.

The premise was great. It just fell short for me as I thought some of the introductions to the scenes didn’t quite make it. They fell short as did some of the action, but in thinking about it, I sort of wonder if that wasn’t by design? I do acknowledge that not everyone we bring to bed is a close friend or such, so the action would be muted. However it just didn’t come across like that so for me it was a turn off, or maybe just a disappointment.

Bel Ami certainly does a good job. They don’t have a ton of added bonus features either, and do push their membership site quite a lot. Fine but not adding value to the video in my mind. Another mark off I think for that, as I’d love to see a few stills of the actors. Josh Elliot comes to mind as one.

Overall it was better than many of the movies I have seen over the years. Still it wasn’t what I’d label as the best. Who knows, maybe there just isn’t a best for me, but I am going to enjoy the job of searching for it.