French Fuckers

Reviewed by: Ian & David

Copyright © 2007 ? All Rights Reserved

Studio : Barry Gold

Another choice by the wife here, and surprise, it really isn’t a total dog of a movie. I mean it isn’t what I’d call great, and the actors in it weren’t the ‘A list’ of Porn Stars either, though a couple looked okay, sort of.

It is a French Flick, and there is dialogue in the various scenes, some rather extensive exchanges too, but alas, NO SUB TITLES. So if you know French well, then okay, if not you are going to be left wondering. I kind of wished I knew French better so I could have figured out some of the comments, because it did kind of appear to be interesting.

There is a semi theme to the video as well. That is also what sort of makes this an okay film. I mean it is your typical Porn, but not totally devoid of a proposed plot line. What it is, well, good question. Maybe if I knew what the dialogue was I could answer that. (hint to foreign language producers – ADD SUBTITLES)

It isn’t based in your ordinary porn settings either. I mean not in a bed, not in some bushes. It is in a bar, a bathhouse, and a dirty book store. Now I don’t know, maybe there is a lot of people who have such fantasies, about doing it in public establishments like a boutique or something, but frankly not me. Still, if that’s your thing, then French Fuckers is a flick for you.

They recycle the actors as well. I mean you will see them in one scene, then suddenly you realize they are in another scene you are watching. Not sure if that is simply keeping model costs down, or just a lack of talent. Now one or two of them weren’t bad looking, but I don’t know, not what I would actually call hot twinks.

It is different I think because the camera angles change quite often, and no, it isn’t a smooth transition. I mean one minute they are kissing, fully dressed, then suddenly they are naked with one sucking the other. A rather quick jolt, no real build up or even flow from action to action. But hey this is PORN, remember?

The sucking, rimming, and fucking is all rather standard. However what isn’t, is that you don’t have to spend ages waiting for the action to move along or for the camera angles to change. They are always changing, and in my mind, bit too much. I mean some of the action is barely noticeable before you are whisked off to some new sex act.

At times, you blink you miss. I mean I really have no idea which cock was whose, or even if it was uncut or not. Okay, one I noticed was uncut, but as for the rest, well not all that easy to tell. The camera views were not the best, but not the worst either. The wife seemed to enjoy it, so I guess it was doing its job.

The rimming wasn’t the best, by far not the best, but better than some I have seen being shown. The anal scenes were, well boring for the most part. Least the angles kept changing, but these guys looked so bored most of the time. It was hard for me to get into the video, I mean everyone looked so dull. Even the moans or cries were not enough to wake me up in spots.

There is music, rather muted for the most part. So that was good, and the moans weren’t totally over the top either, another plus for the video. If only they had some hot studs.

Some of the scenes had a long build up to the sex, others were like flutter the eyelids and there they were fucking. The blow jobs weren’t what I’d call expertly done either. Just sort of lips around a cock, some slurping sounds and some shots of a cock going in and out of a person’s mouth. Nothing to write home about.

Now, the money shots, the cum scenes. Well again, a lot of hit and miss here. A couple of facials were shown, and they weren’t all that bad. Again not great, but sure as hell better than others I have watched. Not everyone cums either, which is different in porn. I mean one shoots his load, then wham, you are watching a new scene entirely.

I would say that the edit of this movie was done with low light, and low attention span. Once done, it wasn’t reviewed either. Like one scene you get them going, then suddenly you are watching the opening of the scene again. Not great, but it did wake me up a bit. Naturally the wife didn’t care, he was too busy stroking his own dick. He is a horny bitch, but you know, it was different enough that I actually did watch it all.

The hot tub scene was a bit noisy, and I don’t know. You watch a video of twinks, then suddenly you have two muscle types in the shot, along with twinks. Just didn’t feel right, and then when they started to switch back and forth, it got a bit confusing. Still, not bad footage of cocks, balls, and ass.

I guess that is what you rent these videos for.

Now what has me a bit surprised, is that with over Five Pay Per View companies, I can’t find this one listed at any of them. Now that says a lot to me. Means that there are so many Porn Videos that it is hard to carry them all. So if you want to watch this one, well I am afraid you’ll have to check your video store. I don’t have it in my Pay Per View. So maybe you’ll try something else?

I rate this video at about a 3.

Mostly I think because the wife did enjoy it, and it was different enough to not make wish for the end to come like some of the other turkey’s the wife has selected. It was okay, the porn quotient is there, so its passable for a good wank or two.

Heaven to Hell

Reviewed by: Ian & David

Copyright © 2007 ? All Rights Reserved

Studio : Falcon

The wife was in one of her moods when she picked this one out. Now I am not really into ‘rough’ style sex, which I suppose this video is sort of. No, it isn’t BDSM or any of that, just sex done a wee bit more intense, rougher. Lovemaking it isn’t, in other words.

Kudos to whoever dreamed this video theme up too. It actually had a theme, and yes even a bit of a story to it, though that sort of didn’t last. It more or less died after the beginning but you know, it didn’t really matter all that much.

And surprises of surprises, it actually got the wife horny. Now that alone should get this two stars, never mind the rest. However there is more, and while I am not a fan I have to admit. It was a good choice, for a change. I mean if you been following this review, the wife is not what you would call a great picker of videos. This was an exception.

In checking, seems that Chi Chi LaRue is the Director and you know, the set is done well. It isn’t cheap looking or trashy looking, and it does fit the theme totally. So do the actors who actually wear their costumes well. They aren’t cheap and it is the little details that add to the whole ambience of the video fantasy. It helps make you buy into the theme.

The music wasn’t over powering either. It fit the mood and the action as well. It was well used to build the suspense aspect, to set the mood. This is what music should do in porn videos, which most studios forget. They use it more to cover the over the top groans from the actors.

There were moments when I wish the music was a bit louder, for that reason. However, that is the nature of the beast. The Actors actually acted their parts. There was good facial expressions, and while some had over the top groans during sex, it really didn’t matter all that much. The quality of the camera work, the big stiff cocks, were enough to make one ignore the small flaws.

These are not twinks either. So if you are a twink fan, forget it. However if what you are looking for is beefy men with nice bodies, hard big dicks, then this is a video for you. It has that, and a lot of spitting too. Man I don’t like that part of porn, but seems to be a staple of the beast.

There is some good ass play in the entire video. Good camera shots of nice pink holes, of the action. Same with the sucking of the cocks, the fucking. All of the action was well played out, clear to watch, which in itself is unusual. The video had its bad moments, but that could simply be that these aren’t my style of men.

The guys all had muscles. They had huge cocks and unlike most porn flicks, the cocks were rock hard. The Actors took care in showing them, in letting the camera see the whole action. It wasn’t hidden behind thighs, arms or anything. You got to see it all, and I suppose that is partly why the wife sported his own wood most of the time. He could see the ‘beautiful penises’ as he puts it. And there certainly were some nice ones.

The fucking was just as well shown. You didn’t get a lot of legs in the ways, or shots of just thighs thumping. You saw the cock going in and out, with condoms. Didn’t really see them go on, but you could see them on the dicks. That’s what counts.

There was a lot of ass licking, or rimming. Not a lot of fingering, but loads of rimming. So again, if that is your thing, then this is a pretty decent choice to make. It has good shots of it, good angles, and you can see it isn’t faked either.

The cum shots were weak I thought. Too much over the top groans from several of the Actors, but hell, that is not a deal breaker. You did get to see them all cum, but it wasn’t as well shown as say the ass licking. Can’t figure out why, but you did get to see most of it, just not real close until afterwards.

Lots of facials too. Cum facials that is.

All in all, I’d give this at least a 4 star rating. The wife enjoyed it, had his fun. I will say it isn’t a 5 simply because maybe it was a little too long. It is 165 minutes you know. You know, good flicks that accomplish their task, shouldn’t be quite so long. I know that Bel Ami does give you long videos as well, and frankly it can become stale, boring even when they are just too long. This video, falls into that category.

Now it is available at my AEBN Theatre if you are interested. Be nice if you were, as it helps pays the bills, and oh yeah, helps pay for the rentals. The wife rented two so do think about renting this one.

Kind of reminds me of Pleasure Express. I mean how much care they took in the entire set design, the sticking to the general theme. This video does that, and better for you and me, it does let you jack off.

There is not a whole lot of dialogue in the entire video. That really is okay, but the Actors did manage to actually convey a lot with just their expressions and body language. Add the right tempo of the music, and there really was no need for lots of talk. In short, it was the right mix.

Hell, the whole video was the right mix of music, expressions, talk, and action. It was clear, crisp to watch. The action was a little bit lengthy, but hey some people need longer to stroke than others.

Interested? Then you can WATCH THIS VIDEO HERE

Danube Dream

Reviewed by: Ian & David

Copyright © 2007 ? All Rights Reserved

Studio : Jet Set

Standard formula for this porn flick. Danube Dream (available from TLA) is not what I would call entertaining. In fact I’d call it boring. The actors look bored for the most part, and they sure don’t seem to like sucking cock. Even though they go through the motions for what seems like hours on end.

At best, they suck the head of the cock, pretending like they suck the whole thing, and it is all rather sedate, except for the techno music that just is so out of sync with the action, that it is really annoying in spots. Music can enhance a good production, too bad this isn’t one of those productions.

Frankly, I think the wife wasted the rental fee on this one.

However, if you enjoy seeing cocks, the photography is good on that score. You do get some good visuals of uncut cocks, of cocks spurting. Problem is, it takes forever to get to the cum shots, and there just isn’t much to the camera angles.

The wife likes to watch the cum shots over and over again. This is a movie he didn’t bother to do that with. Now the cum shots were okay, but there wasn’t the real good close ups. So if cum is your thing, well try a different video.

If uncut penises are your thing, well there are some nice shots of those. Not always hard mind you, and the fuck scenes are well, boring. You don’t get any real good shots until the end scenes, but by then I was nearly falling asleep.

Yes, I am jaded, but there was nothing to the video at all. It was supposed to be about some sailor walking into some dingy underground bar, and dreaming of the guys naked, all making out. Good premises, tried by others, with as much success. In short, not well done at all.

These aren’t twinks either, nor are they bears. I’d call it simply over twink under grandpa type actors. There was one cute one, but after watching this video, the only thing that interests me is to know who has the hairspray concession? I mean nary a strand out of place for any of these guys, no matter how hard they are pounding another’s ass. Hell the first fuck scene, I swear the guy looked like he was napping. Not a muscle moved while the other guy ploughed him.

The only redeeming quality I found is that if you need a jump start on getting horny, this video might aid you in thinking of something, but then again, it might also turn you off. Like I said, the cock shots are good, so that might get you to wondering about some guy you saw walking down the street, and then you might enjoy yourself wanking off, but not to the stilted, repetitive, action of this one.

It pisses me off actually. I mean they pay money to these guys to have sex, and they are so bored or act so over the top, that you wonder if maybe the actors are paying the studio to be in the flick. It really has little direction to it, and what there is, well they might as well not have any.

TLA lists this video at $49.99 and that is about $49 too much to pay for this film. Even the price of rental is too much, unless it was available for like a buck.

Pretty Boy

Reviewed by: Ian & David

Copyright © 2007 ? All Rights Reserved

Studio : Bel Ami

After watching XL 3, (see our Review) we needed to have our confidence restored in Bel Ami, which is why we chose Pretty Boy. Seriously, the both of us enjoy Bel Ami a lot, and you get a little shaken when you find a dud among all the good stuff. Dave loves his porn, and I love watching Dave enjoy his porn.

I selected the movie, simply because I enjoy watching Josh Elliot. There is something about his look, his face, that always gives me a bit of a thrill. I am not all that enamored by porn, but watching Josh, well it seems to break through the jaded feelings I have. Now David on the other hand, he isn’t what I’d call a person taken by the stars, as he is by their penises and how many good shots he can see of it.

Pretty Boy filled that bill just nicely, for us both. I got to have a bit of a storyline in the video, and David got his fill of great cock shots, super cum shots, and some damn hot ass action, including a hot rimming scene with Josh Elliot and Matt Phillipe. It is what makes Bel Ami special, in my mind. The way they do have a loose story theme and how they manage to carry it through the entire video sequence.

This one, has to be about one of the best I have seen too. Maybe I am biased, or was just needing it to be great. Not really sure, but I know this, it sure as hell got us both rather horny, and that is what a porn video should do. Course, we have company this month, so poor David, he had to stay dressed while watching, which in itself was rather amusing to watch. Poor guy, he so desperately wanted to whip his dick out and jack off, but not in front of company.

To see him squirm, to adjust his own package while watching the expressions on Josh Elliot’s face was priceless. And that is also why I enjoy his videos. Of all the Bel Ami Boys, I find his expressions to be the most sincere. I mean when he rolls his eyes, or opens them wide to look at his partner, you see more than just a forced stare.

Is it an act?

Maybe, but I don’t know if anyone can fake that much enjoyment. A consummate actor could, perhaps, but who cares? All I know is he looks like he is really into the action, and not just sucking or fucking. The way he is constantly moving, touching, kissing, it just comes across as being like how one would act, when totally into the other guy. It doesn’t seem forced in anyway, but natural, which only enhances the action, least in my view.

Then there is the subtitled dialogue as well. I hate most of the conversations models have while having sex. It comes across as not just faked, but unreal. Yet, even with the subtitles, the words here seem totally natural. It doesn’t come across as something added out of the need to have words either. It is more like exactly what two guys would say to each other, while having intimate sex. The words are translated, but you know, it makes sense, and comes at points in the action, that well, seem natural.

There isn’t a lot of it, but when it does happen, it is great. It adds a sense of familiarity that you don’t see in many porn flicks. It draws you in too, and frankly, it makes the sex seem wilder, more natural. You just don’t think you are watching a video, but spying on the guys doing it.

There is also the set and photography that blew me away. There isn’t anything cheap about Bel Ami. The sets are well done, the locations are intermingled perfectly with the action. Sure there are some parts where you can tell it was spliced in, but only if you look real close. If you are jerking off, you aren’t going to notice. There is one close up shot of Josh’s penis, that was unbelievable. It was so close, so crisp and clear, that it was almost like you could reach out and touch it.

Which would have been nice.

This video clicked for me on all levels. It had a story, great acting actually, and I still can’t get over the way Josh Elliot looked. His eyes, his expressions, and how they were so perfectly shown, just at the right moment. There wasn’t anyone leaning back looking like they were going to fall asleep. You could see how much they were into each other, how much they enjoyed the sex too.

We rented this Video from our local store, but it is available in my Pay Per View theatre, here. You can also own this video from my DVD Store, if interested. I know our guest is also a Bel Ami fan, and he’s thinking of adding this one to his library. But whether you buy it or rent it, I think if you like twinks, enjoy lots of cum, then Pretty Boy is one you should at least think about renting.

David and I have seen a fair amount of movies, including Bel Ami, and you know, in all honesty, I have to say that so far this one is at the top of our list. It is refreshing to watch, and if our guest wasn’t here, the wife says it would have been at least a double if not triple cum shoot for him. Now that is impressive, given how the last flick barely got him wanting to jerk off.

Speaking of cum, the last scene with Josh and Matt, was unreal. The cum shots were unreal, and so clear, so crisp and damn explosive, that it was a trembler. Dave even shook a little, as Matt squirted his cum over those lovely balls of Josh Elliot, that were showing between his legs. Hell I think our guest enjoyed it too, considering how much time he spent in the bathroom right after the video ended.