Review of Video: Desires
Desires
Reviewed by: Ian & David
Copyright © 2007 ? All Rights Reserved
Studio : Jet Set Men
I get a feeling that the wife doesn’t want me to sell any pay per view movies, he keeps renting crap for me to watch and review. We rented this piece of cinematic excellence for $6 but if you don’t have a decent Video Store handy, you can find this movie in my Pay Per View Theatre #2. (Sureflixxx)
The movie itself rents for $10.49 for a 24 hour period, and you can rent any of the five scenes individually for $3.49 and $3.29. (2 hour rentals) Frankly you might be better off just surfing for some other title, or if you really want to see this one, try renting Scene #3 or #4. They are the best of the five scenes.
If you are looking for a story theme or plot line to this movie, forget it. There isn’t one, not even an attempt at one. Disappointing for me as the title does tend to lead one’s imagination into overdrive, and the box cover lends to that thought process as well. Still, not in this flick.
The wife didn’t find it all that good either. I mean we had a few laughs, some popcorn that wasn’t bad, and I had some crackers that were okay. The dog enjoyed me playing with her too, plus she liked the popcorn as well.
Scene 1 (22 min.)
Turn the volume down unless you enjoy some really over the top loud grunts, groans, sighs, moans, and other assorted nonsensical sounds from God only knows where. If it was the two actors, and boy do I use that term loosely, then the microphone had to be up their noses.
Way too loud, even for a porn flick.
There was some foreplay but it was too forced. The sucking of cock is tepid at best. Now there are some good cock shots, actually in all of the scenes, but they are far and few in between. I simply don’t understand these porn producers. I mean if this was a story, okay I could maybe see less money shots, but this isn’t a story. It is Porn. You pay to see cock, to see it go into a guy’s mouth, to see it licked, kissed and all that stuff that makes for Porn.
Yes, it is shown, but uh a guy’s constricted face being shown more than the cock being sucked? I don’t think that makes for good porn.
Then there is the fingering. I mean not even up to the first knuckle and you would sweat the guy was pushing a Sherman tank up the guy’s ass the way he carried on. Talk about over reaching here. Reminds me of Paris Hilton or Brittany Spears.
Again, not great visuals.
The fucking was, well, BORING comes to mind. Seriously, if you went by the sounds it was hot damn good, but if you go by what you see, it was boring, boring, boring.
The cum shots were 50/50. One was eh, not missing much while the second was okay. I mean at least you could see the cum. The first one looked more like bath water. A dull color, and hard to spot.
Scene 2 (22 min.)
The Exercise section of the movie? I don’t know, I suppose that they way they start each scene is supposed to help put you in the mood, or cater your desires. Like one of doing sit ups, then suddenly your partner and you are having sex. That is a stretch, and frankly this scene is unbelievably bad.
Like making a muscle, then sucking on it, kissing it? Okay, I suppose that’s one way to get excited. Licking near the armpit isn’t armpit licking, but I suppose the idea is to entice you. Maybe this is what they call foreplay?
The Oral portion is tepid. Worse than scene #1 when it comes to good cock shots. There are a few, but it seems to constantly pan to the faces, and I have to say, they aren’t pretty images. I never seen two actors constrict their faces to such a degree that it made them look sick and ugly.
Add into the whole scene some really obnoxious sounds, grunts, groans, and gurgles, well this is not looking to be a fun night’s entertainment. Mind you it did give us a laugh or two, only because of the facial expressions and some commentary from yours truly.
The anal sex had some decent camera shots, but certainly not a lot or in a decent sequence. I mean it is one thing to pan the camera, but to let it linger on the person’s buttocks or backside while listening to overly loud groans and moans, well just doesn’t cut it for me.
The cum shots weren’t bad though. Least you could see them, and it wasn’t over in the blink of an eye.
Scene 3 (22 min.)
Okay this one starts off on a massage table and the opening sounds are just odd. But then all of the sound effects in this video are odd. Go figure, but even some music would have been better than listening to this assortment of porn actors mouth off.
The dialogue in this entire video is confined to ‘oh yeah’ and ‘umm’ with the odd word or two, I think. Hard to tell when they speak, but really out of the five scenes this is one of the better ones.
The bicep foreplay is back, and no armpit kissing in this one. Still, the guy showing off his muscles, needs to pump more iron before he has anything to show off. Okay, bit mean on that, as there is some definition, but it sure doesn’t fit with the action.
The cock sucking is okay in this scene. I mean you get to see both cocks fairly often, and close enough to enjoy their dicks. Bit more to see, though the one’s earlier were good looking cocks, just you never really got to see them. In this scene you do.
Don’t get too excited though, as they still like to play hide ‘n seek with these money shots. A lot of face shots, backside views that just don’t add to the mood.
The anal sex scenes are better than the other two scenes. You do get to see some good money shots, more of them, though still not really enough. I mean these are the shots to get you stroking and from watching the wife, I can tell there just wasn’t enough of those shots.
This has one of the better cum shots in it too. It was full view, good camera work and when it ended, you still got to see the milk. Even watch it being rubbed in, so that gets a plus in a video that needs all the pluses it can garner.
Scene 4 (18 min.)
It appears that it isn’t going to matter which scene you rent, your ears will be assaulted by the annoying grunts and groans of these actors. This is one movie where they should have added music, cut the vocals totally.
However this scene also has more of the uh bicep kissing. Is that a niche I haven’t heard of yet? Must be as there sure is a lot of it in this flick. I mean bulging muscles are nice, but I prefer the kind located at crotch level.
I will say, the actors aren’t my idea of twinks. They don’t have that cute look, but they are not bad. Average I would say, which is okay. I guess if you are going for some sort of theme, it might be okay. The cocks on all of them are good sized, when you get to see them.
Here you actually do get some rather decent camera work on the blow jobs. Much more attention is paid to showing the dicks, and while the sucking is a bit unorthodox at times, it is okay. Least you can see what is in their mouths.
The anal stuff just doesn’t cut it. It is really a hit and miss type affair, which is too bad. I mean there is a pair of nice cocks here, and it would be nice to really see them tear between the ass cheeks. Still, there are some okay shots, just not a ton of them.
Again the cum shots were okay here. Least way better than in the first two scenes. You actually got to see the cum, from start to finish, so that is a plus.
Scene 5 (25 min.)
Maybe they had a set time to shoot, or only so much film, but this is where the video becomes very draggy. Boring even, despite the blond actor and the settings for this episode. Nice opening actually, of a fireplace roaring and real logs popping & crackling, with two guys stretched out in front.
And there is where is should have ended.
The blond looked stoned for the most part, and yet he had a damn nice cock, such a shame. The sucking wasn’t great, both in visuals and in performance. It just seemed like they were both going through the motions, despite the heavy panting, the groans and grunts. It just seemed like they were as bored as we were.
The anal portion of the scene was really not good. I mean the guy gets ready to penetrate, then suddenly you see half the cock already inside. I mean the editing was good, but, it just didn’t help very much. Too bad they didn’t edit out the damn vocals.
There were not a lot of good money shots here either, and the action was too static. It didn’t change, just the camera moving from one face shot to another, or pulling back for a wider view of the two humping. At one point I swear the blond had zoned out and forgot what he was doing.
It was like that in the opening of the scene too. He looked so surprised when he opened his eyes to find the other guy’s crotch near his face. It was funny actually, but certainly not arousing.
It was basically BORING. Sorry, but I mean how long can you stare at a pair of clenched butt cheeks going in and out? Be nice to have the camera move down and under. Mind you there was some of that, but like this whole video… NOT ENOUGH.
The ejaculations were 50/50. The first was barely noticeable until afterwards. The second however, from the blond was better, though he really didn’t cum a lot. Though you at least got to see it, and watch it get rubbed in.
Porn is supposed to be about sex, and about seeing it all. The penis is supposed to be the true star. In this video the grunts appear to be more of the stars than the cocks or assholes. I mean come to think of it, there really weren’t a lot of decent asshole shots either. Very few in fact.
Cum is another important part of porn, and that was also hit and miss through the entire video. It is the wife’s favourite part of any porn video, and it is also when he loves to shoot his own. Let me say that this video got him off, but it took the whole 109 minutes of it. And I think it was more to do with he simply likes to cum, than anything he was watching.
And no, he didn’t moan loudly, didn’t twist his face up into weird shapes either. He came, and wiped it off, got dressed and poured himself some milk. In short, it wasn’t a pleasure, more like oh well, might as well.
Not a 1 but close to it. I suppose given there are some odd good points, one or two decent cum shots and a few good penis views, that this movie gets a 2 out of 5 rating from the wife and me.
You can rent this video HERE, but why?
