Big Boat

Reviewed by: Ian & David

Copyright © 2007 ? All Rights Reserved

Studio : Studio 2000

Well the wife did better this week in picking us out a flick. He rented Big Boat from Studio 2000 that was okay. It is just porn, even though I guess you could say they attempted to have a theme to it. Though in all honesty, I suppose not many seem to give a shit about that, they just want to see cock and ass.

Okay, so this one does that. However there are some rather scary dudes here. I mean talk about absolutely bored expressions. Some of them didn’t change expression throughout their scene, while others like Tory Mason were actually worth watching. Too bad his partner in Scene 1 could barely blink, let alone show any emotion.

Which brings up a rather sore point for me. Well okay there are a couple that I don’t quite get. To begin with we rent our videos from our local sex shop. Hey, I know I have 5 pay per view options, but the wife likes to go to this place. They have a cute night dude, plus I think the wife enjoys looking at all the sex toys they have. The handcuffs, dildo’s and other stuff.

I am sure one night, he’s gonna come home with a John Holmes dildo, though given how he isn’t super stretched out, I rather doubt it.

Point is this, we pay $6 to rent the video. This same video is available from Sureflixxx for $16.49. Yeah, I mean can you believe that? For 102 minutes of okay sex, with okay actors, you gotta pay that kind of money? Sure you can just get the scenes and frankly they aren’t cheap either. Just under $6 for two of them, under $5 for the other three. Oh, that is each scene by the way.

I suppose it is the price of convenience. Still, I don’t get prices anymore. They seem to just keep going up, and the quality doesn’t seem to go up with it either. Anyhow, it pisses me off, because I am a cheap son of a bitch.

The other point is the facial expressions some of these actors display when they are getting fucked up the ass. Hell, some of them have the same expressions when getting sucked off, or being rimmed. I don’t know, but next time I take the wife to bed, I am gonna set the camera onto video, and see what his face looks like. I just can’t buy into the way these guys all look like they are in intense pain. It just doesn’t seem real, and for so long too. I mean okay, first penetration can hurt, specially if the guy is hung, but come on, once he gets going, you get used to it. Not these guys.

Back to the video though. Scene 1 and 4 would be my choices to rent just a scene. The action was quick in Scene 4. It wasn’t as long as Scene 1, and didn’t have any of the foreplay I tend to enjoy. Scene 1 now was supposedly the set up for the whole video, though I didn’t think so. Plus there was a lot more foreplay happening in it. More kissing, fondling, and sucking than in Scene 4.

above from Scene 1

above from Scene 4

As to the rest, well I’d pass myself. If you are going to rent the others, might as well rent the whole video.

There isn’t a lot of dialogue in the entire video. Lots of groans, and lots of ‘oh yeahs’ but nothing much. Guess when its just porn, you don’t need a lot of guys talking. The music wasn’t overpowering either, so that is a plus.

On the whole, it was an okay porn flick. The camera work wasn’t anything to brag about, but you got to see cock, got to see decent anal sex shots, and the rim shots were maybe the weakest of the whole thing. The cum scenes weren’t bad either. I mean you at least got to see it, and there was lots of cum spewing, for those who like that.

What I didn’t care for is some of the obvious playing to the camera, rather than having sex. Couple of shots were like that, specially in the second scene. Still, I can see why too, as they were making sure the viewer could see the action. However, the actors made it more pronounced than maybe it should have been. Okay, I know, nit picking, but hey we paid $6 to watch this stuff.

The wife liked it, as he got off twice. He did enjoy the cum shots the most, and he did find a couple of the actors interesting. So did I as well. I don’t know if I would label this a twink only video though. Yes, some of them looked ‘twinkish’ but others certainly didn’t. Receding hairlines and all were a dead give away.

They were all fit looking, no rack of bones which was good. I hate the emaciated look that seems so popular. And as I said, I did find a couple who were to my taste as well.

All in all, I am going to give this a 3 Star rating. I think that for a porn video it did deliver. It wasn’t spectacular or anything, and the acting wasn’t really there for the most part. Plus, to be honest, a couple of them sure need a few lessons on how to suck a cock. They were too timid, and only sucked just the head, not really taking much more of the cock. That was disappointing.

Tory Mason on the other hand was interesting. I liked his expressions, not just facial features but his eyes and lips. He managed to convey an interest, a sort of what I’d call lust. Too bad his partner was so lame. He is also in the final scene, a group type scene that was, well bit boring for me.

Bottom line, its okay. You get to see lots of different cocks, some good anal sex shots, and relatively good cum shots. The rim shots were weak. But there was a couple of them, one in a sort of 69 ass lick that I hadn’t seen too often. So you decide, if you want to spend the money on this from either your video store, or from my Pay Per View theatre.

Watch Big Boat Here.