French Fuckers

Reviewed by: Ian & David

Copyright © 2007 ? All Rights Reserved

Studio : Barry Gold

Another choice by the wife here, and surprise, it really isn’t a total dog of a movie. I mean it isn’t what I’d call great, and the actors in it weren’t the ‘A list’ of Porn Stars either, though a couple looked okay, sort of.

It is a French Flick, and there is dialogue in the various scenes, some rather extensive exchanges too, but alas, NO SUB TITLES. So if you know French well, then okay, if not you are going to be left wondering. I kind of wished I knew French better so I could have figured out some of the comments, because it did kind of appear to be interesting.

There is a semi theme to the video as well. That is also what sort of makes this an okay film. I mean it is your typical Porn, but not totally devoid of a proposed plot line. What it is, well, good question. Maybe if I knew what the dialogue was I could answer that. (hint to foreign language producers – ADD SUBTITLES)

It isn’t based in your ordinary porn settings either. I mean not in a bed, not in some bushes. It is in a bar, a bathhouse, and a dirty book store. Now I don’t know, maybe there is a lot of people who have such fantasies, about doing it in public establishments like a boutique or something, but frankly not me. Still, if that’s your thing, then French Fuckers is a flick for you.

They recycle the actors as well. I mean you will see them in one scene, then suddenly you realize they are in another scene you are watching. Not sure if that is simply keeping model costs down, or just a lack of talent. Now one or two of them weren’t bad looking, but I don’t know, not what I would actually call hot twinks.

It is different I think because the camera angles change quite often, and no, it isn’t a smooth transition. I mean one minute they are kissing, fully dressed, then suddenly they are naked with one sucking the other. A rather quick jolt, no real build up or even flow from action to action. But hey this is PORN, remember?

The sucking, rimming, and fucking is all rather standard. However what isn’t, is that you don’t have to spend ages waiting for the action to move along or for the camera angles to change. They are always changing, and in my mind, bit too much. I mean some of the action is barely noticeable before you are whisked off to some new sex act.

At times, you blink you miss. I mean I really have no idea which cock was whose, or even if it was uncut or not. Okay, one I noticed was uncut, but as for the rest, well not all that easy to tell. The camera views were not the best, but not the worst either. The wife seemed to enjoy it, so I guess it was doing its job.

The rimming wasn’t the best, by far not the best, but better than some I have seen being shown. The anal scenes were, well boring for the most part. Least the angles kept changing, but these guys looked so bored most of the time. It was hard for me to get into the video, I mean everyone looked so dull. Even the moans or cries were not enough to wake me up in spots.

There is music, rather muted for the most part. So that was good, and the moans weren’t totally over the top either, another plus for the video. If only they had some hot studs.

Some of the scenes had a long build up to the sex, others were like flutter the eyelids and there they were fucking. The blow jobs weren’t what I’d call expertly done either. Just sort of lips around a cock, some slurping sounds and some shots of a cock going in and out of a person’s mouth. Nothing to write home about.

Now, the money shots, the cum scenes. Well again, a lot of hit and miss here. A couple of facials were shown, and they weren’t all that bad. Again not great, but sure as hell better than others I have watched. Not everyone cums either, which is different in porn. I mean one shoots his load, then wham, you are watching a new scene entirely.

I would say that the edit of this movie was done with low light, and low attention span. Once done, it wasn’t reviewed either. Like one scene you get them going, then suddenly you are watching the opening of the scene again. Not great, but it did wake me up a bit. Naturally the wife didn’t care, he was too busy stroking his own dick. He is a horny bitch, but you know, it was different enough that I actually did watch it all.

The hot tub scene was a bit noisy, and I don’t know. You watch a video of twinks, then suddenly you have two muscle types in the shot, along with twinks. Just didn’t feel right, and then when they started to switch back and forth, it got a bit confusing. Still, not bad footage of cocks, balls, and ass.

I guess that is what you rent these videos for.

Now what has me a bit surprised, is that with over Five Pay Per View companies, I can’t find this one listed at any of them. Now that says a lot to me. Means that there are so many Porn Videos that it is hard to carry them all. So if you want to watch this one, well I am afraid you’ll have to check your video store. I don’t have it in my Pay Per View. So maybe you’ll try something else?

I rate this video at about a 3.

Mostly I think because the wife did enjoy it, and it was different enough to not make wish for the end to come like some of the other turkey’s the wife has selected. It was okay, the porn quotient is there, so its passable for a good wank or two.