Remembering

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (4)

Funny, and sad too, at how hearing of a tragedy, of finding out someone you cared for, knew, had been hurt, could change your whole life. From the instant that Trent had learned of Rob’s injuries, of his wounds, how his whole life suddenly became less complicated, yet more involved. He never thought that anything could alter his path, could stand in the way of his dreams.

Yet here he was, nearing the twilight of his career, his goal well in sight, yet that was all tossed away, the instant he had heard the name listed on a causality list. He shouldn’t have been, he should have been used to it. After all, being a Soldier, you know that death of those you knew, wounds to those you shared a beer with, shared your soul with, was very possible. You didn’t dwell on it, but you knew each time you went out with your comrades, that there could be times when they wouldn’t be there to join you, that they had fallen.

So why did learning about Rob change all that?

Okay sure, they had known each other since childhood, but he had seen brothers join up, one get wounded, and it didn’t effect them half as much as this did. It wasn’t logical, wasn’t rationale, or maybe it was? Maybe he had closed himself off for too long? Had he really not known, or had he just lied to himself, along with everyone else?

Clasping Rob’s hand into his own, he stared off into space remembering how it had felt that night. How he had tasted his first jizz, yet how it made him only want more. It was like he had been set free, from some sort of cage that he had been ignoring. Now once more, he was being set free, and like then, it was Rob who was giving him his freedom.

Bit ironical that, as here he was a soldier whose job it was to defend freedom, to protect the rights of his fellow citizens, but he hadn’t been able to protect his own rights, his own freedoms. Somehow he knew that things moved the way they did, for some reason, he just wished he could know what it was for, what it all meant.

Looking down, seeing the sparkle in Rob’s eyes, seeing how his face was a bit more relaxed, he knew that he too was remembering, that he too was back at that campsite. Strange how the mind could block things, then suddenly wham, the whole blocked things were right there. It was almost as if he could reach out, to touch the young men in the memory flashback. It was like he was some voyeur, lurking in the woods, watching it all unfold.

He felt the hitch in his heart, as he realized how much that night actually did mean to him. Not just that he had tasted his first cum, or had his first blow job, but at how Rob had never pushed it. It all was so natural, so unrehearsed. Like how he had been totally spent, exhausted to a point he had never felt before.

The way his eyes had closed, the cum still on his lips, still sticking to his chin. Yet he had fallen asleep, and it had been a deep sleep too. How long he never knew, but he could see it now, see himself feeling something, while he was asleep. Not someone touching him, but sort of a sense, that he wasn’t alone, that his time for rest was over.

It had been odd, to suddenly open your eyes, and be staring up the open stars. Their tent had one of those mesh tops, that when open, let the stars shine inside. How beautiful they had looked too, and how he had snuggled down a bit, just staring up at the wonder of Mother Nature. The way some would glimmer, others just shine. It made him sigh, and it also made him realize he wasn’t alone, or the only one awake.

Turning his head to one side, there he was. Rob was propped up on one elbow, just looking at him. Like he was now, he noticed. It had given him goose bumps then, did now too, as he saw something odd in those eyes. It wasn’t fear, wasn’t rejection, but was something soft looking, almost warming really.

Trent could feel it now, as his eyes glanced over at Rob. It was the same now, as then. He felt his presence inside, felt his inner most thoughts, as he had then. Only thing was, then he didn’t understand them, now he seemed to get their meaning, get their message.

He could taste his friend’s cum still, and it made his body tingle. Trent felt the nerves inside, felt his muscles stretching and tightening, as he stared back at Rob’s face. The way the eyes peered at him, with such tenderness, such desire, made him grin, then and now. It was like somehow, all that happened earlier was just a prelude, a test. And he had pasted the test, or so it felt.

Rob’s hand came out, and rested lightly on his arm. How the eyes seemed to come alive, even more, as the hand moved up, and the back of it just ran across his cheek, lightly caressing him. How good it had felt too, as he had leaned over, to kiss it, as it moved along the side of his face.

How that little peck, seemed to bring his whole body to life. How the sleep was suddenly gone from his eyes, from his entire body. It was like a switch being turned on, as he lifted himself up, onto one arm, like Rob. How he too reached out, to run his hand over the soft gentle face next to him. Damn it had made him quiver, just as the idea did now. He felt the tremors inside, as his hand moved lightly over Rob’s face, down his bare chest, to curl with some of his body hairs. To touch them, to feel them wind around his fingers.

His eyes roamed over Rob’s body too, just as his hand did. He could see the way the chest heaved a bit, to his touch. How good that sight made him feel, knowing his own chest was doing the same. It was like they were in perfect sync, at how his eyes moved down, still amazed at the beauty of being next to Rob’s naked body.

The way his eyes had widened when they stared at Rob’s crotch, seeing his fully aroused cock. He hadn’t expected that, not after all they had already done, but there it was, once more filled with blood, gorged to the point of looking like it would explode. How he felt too, he remembered. It was as if seeing that hard cock validated everything about him. It had made him feel like this wasn’t some pity date, some obligation, but was being done out of desire, out of Rob’s own need to be with him.

It made him feel special, in a way he had never experienced before, yet he knew it was a way he wished he could always feel. To see the veins pulsing, to see the cock head fully gorged with blood, only made his own body tingle more. A quick glance down told him that he too was fully erect, again a surprise for him.

As the scene passed before his eyes, he could feel the change in his heart, the change in his breathing as they lay there, touching each other. How he felt the ache in his chest, as the hand moved down, towards his erect penis. How good it felt to have him touch him, again. How Rob was reacting the same way, to his touch.

Trent could feel every tingle, every shiver that raced up his spine then. He could fell it all over again, as his eyes fluttered, as his breathing became softer, his chest aching all over again. His stomach rumbled, the cheeks clenched tighter, as his mind flashed it all before him again. It was in living color, which made him smile as he thought about it.

To see the soft shadows of darkness, as the lantern flickered in the tent. As the stars shone down from above, all were recorded, replayed as they had been first witnessed. How Rob had moved closer, his own body shuffling closer, until they were skin to skin. How hot it all felt, how sticky and exciting too.

He remembered it all, how his body leaned into Rob’s, how Rob leaned back, how his hand moved over his side, to grasp at his back. The way the fingers moved up his spine, then down to just above his ass. How they lay there, hesitant, then slowly how the whole hand moved down, to grab hold of his firm cheeks, and pull Trent into his body even closer.

Trent sighed, as he felt that squeeze, the pressure of Rob’s hand on his cheek, of his cock pressing into Rob’s thigh, of how it felt to feel Rob’s own hard dick poking at his belly. It was all there again, as his eyes fluttered, as the beat beside his heart began to pound, began to increase its tempo.

How his blood flowed that night, how his head was so light headed, yet it hadn’t missed a single instant of action. Nothing was left out, as he leaned back in the cold metal chair. Trent was feeling it all again, as his body relaxed, as he watched the two young bodies pushing and being pulled by the other. Damn it had been so hot, so arousing.

He could see how Rob began to push more, to lean harder against him, giving a sense of urgency. God it had felt good then, and now too. His whole body quivered, as he recalled how Rob pushed, then slowly gained the upper hand. His firm young body now nestled nearly on top of Trent, and suddenly it all grew quiet.

The night noises seemed muted, distant, and even the sound of the river passing by seemed hushed. His eyes saw the looming face, and Rob’s eyes peering down into his. He could see them flash, seem them widen, as they just looked deep into his own.

He had felt that thrill then, how suddenly every nerve inside his body was screaming for more, was begging even. He could feel it again, feel the moisture near his hole, feel the dripping of his cock, as his pre cum oozed out. Every nerve, every muscle, seemed to be pleading with the soft eyes. It was as if Rob could read his body, read its desire long before Trent’s own mind could.

Until now, he never realized how excited that moment had been. How hot his body had grown, as if it was near the melting point as Rob stared into Trent’s face so many years ago. Looking down now, he saw those eyes, the pain gone for the moment. All he could see was what he had seen then, as his body quivered.

It was like he was being asked, all over again, and just like then, he was agreeing. It was odd, no one had really said a word, not before, not at any time, and yet it was like they had spoken volumes. He knew it would hurt, yet knew too, that Rob would not push beyond what he could handle. No words, just a simple understanding, heart to heart. He shivered now, as he remembered how his chest had heaved, as Rob had leaned over and fumbled with something over his head.

Then the hand came back down, and Trent could see the condom in his hand. How tiny it looked, how fragile too as he feared disease and illness more than ridicule. Yet looking at it in Rob’s hand, he felt suddenly safe, suddenly at ease.

He knew little about them, how to put them on or anything, but he didn’t have to as he watched Rob rip the package open in one single tear. It was held tightly between his teeth, as he ripped it open, and Trent stared at it, wondering what it would be like. Sure he had seen them, but not this way.

His buttocks seemed to be throbbing as his eyes stared wide eyed at the ripped open package. Had he damaged the thin plastic inside? How much would it hurt to have it going into his body, over Rob’s cock? Worse, would it stay on, or would it stay inside?

All of those strange thoughts had come to him, back then. He smiled now, as did the man resting in the hospital bed. It had been the truth, back then. Yet thinking of it now, he felt a bit foolish, then realized it was nothing abnormal. It was how kids were, even if they were eighteen or not. Inexperience, always was filled with fears, with unjustified concerns.

Still back then, he had wondered as he watched Rob take the thin little disc out, to sort of show it off. In a way he had thought it reminded him of some Warrior, showing off his badges, before entering the ring of battle. Like a shield, being pounded with the hilt of a sword. Odd, that later on they would be real warriors, but then, then it was about their bodies needs.

Rob may have been the older of the two, certainly the more experienced, but you could still see the nervousness, the hesitancy in his face, as he slowly took the disc down, to place it over his cock. He had moved, to straddle Trent’s shaking body, his cock sticking up just over Trent’s belly. How his eyes had stared down his body, to that amazing sight.

His hand shook, as he placed the condom over the head of his cock, then once more his eyes were glancing upwards, staring deeply into Trent’s. He could hear him asking, hear his mind calling to him, to make sure it was what he wanted. He could hear his own answering cries, strangled in fear, but defiant none the less.

The beat of his heart, the way his chest moved, all gave Rob his answer then, as it did now. Looking down at Rob this time, he saw a tear by his eye, rolling down the cheek, as he too remembered that glance, that final look before he unrolled the condom.

He saw how Rob moved down his body, to squat between his legs, and how he had pushed his legs apart. It was by instinct that he found his legs upraised, the flat of his feet against the warm insides of the sleeping bag. How his toes had curled into it, digging down past the bag, to take hold of the soft dirt beneath. How his knees looked, hitched upwards.

Trent remembered how he looked at his own knees, then across to Rob. How good he looked, squatting between them. How much Trent enjoyed seeing his head bent over, as he stared down at his crotch, unrolling the condom. It seemed like hours, but was only seconds. Yet he could remember seeing every inch disappear behind the opaque sheath that was unrolled down. How strange it looked, yet he could still see the bulging veins, still see them rise and fall as the blood was pushed through to keep Rob’s cock hard and hot.

The way the end of the condom pinched at Rob’s pubic hairs. At how so many were gathered around the unrolled end, had made him stare, then glance up into Rob’s face. The tiny lock of hair that always fell over his face, was being pushed away, and he could stare without hindrance, into his friend’s soul.

How that image had made him quiver, how it had made his cock jerk, as he felt himself spreading his legs even further apart. He wasn’t sure what to do next, but he felt the firm press of Rob’s hands on his thighs, and saw how he leaned backwards a bit.

His legs were suddenly being lifted upwards, and out of some unknown instinct, he was reaching for his ankles, to grab hold, and bring his legs further back. He felt the stretch of his muscles around his thighs, as he lifted the legs upwards, and as Rob’s body moved inwards.

The way Rob’s eyes widened, as they stared at his exposed buttocks. How they seemed to just sparkle, had made him groan, made his body ache in a way he had never felt before. How hard his cock felt, as Rob stared down at him, his own cock in one hand, as he leaned forward.

It truly was something special, though at the moment he hadn’t realized just how special. The approving look he had gotten, the wonder in those eyes, all were there to be seen, but he had been lost in the moment. Not now, now he could see it all, even better than when it had all happened. Better, he could even feel it too, as Rob had stared at his open legs, at his exposed butt. How he licked his lips, as he stared down at his crack, at the warm pinkness of the insides.

He saw it all now, felt it too as his hand tightened around Rob’s hand. There was some strength in Rob’s grip, that hadn’t been there before, and he looked down at his friend. It was like he had been, all those years ago. Full of life, uncaring of what the future held. How he had envied him them, and how he still envied him.

The way he looked so pleased at seeing Trent spread open, at how his eyes seemed to glaze over as he looked down between the cheeks. It was as if he could see inside, see where his dick would soon be. In a way he felt him already inside of him, the way his nerves and muscles felt. The way they seemed to quiver in anticipation of his coming.

The way his face screwed up, how the muscles inside seemed to tighten, as he leaned over, as he felt the hard muscle poking at his crack, at the fist that held it pushing up against his buttocks. Trent felt it all, again, as his mind kept the steady stream of details flowing. It was making him feel hot, all over again, despite the air conditioning of the hospital room.

Trent could feel the sweat dripping down his backside, trickling down his pant leg, as he watched Rob move closer, felt his hot breath against his stomach, then over his face. He saw that rebellious lock of hair, falling again, but it only added to the moment’s thrill. He could see his hand moving up, his leg muscles tightening to hold his leg up in the air, the press of Rob’s shoulder helping.

How his hand touched the lock of hair, how Rob shuddered to that little touch, how his lips grew tighter, how his eyes seemed like a 4^th of July fireworks display was going on in front of them. How it all seemed to work, to fit. The stupid fears were all banished, as if some hand had simply come along and wiped them away, with a simple flick of the wrist.

His whole body was on edge, a good nervousness, as he felt the press between his upraised cheeks. How the hot pole seemed to slide down the valley of his cheeks, to rest at last against his tight hole. Rob’s face was above his own, his hand let go of the lock of hair, the back of it caressing the side of one facial cheek, feeling how flushed it was. He stared at the eyes, that looked down at him, and then he reached back to his ankle, grabbing hold of it, and trying to spread his legs even further. His buttocks moved up just a bit, the cock head suddenly was wedged tightly against the tiny muscles of his hole.

Trent could feel it now, feel the warmth, feel the love that surrounded him. He hadn’t known what it was then, afraid to understand it, but he knew it now. He embraced it too, as he felt the press, felt the suddenly strength of his insides, as they resisted, but not from fear, but from wanting to make it last, to make it take longer.

He saw Rob biting his lower lip, saw how his eyes flashed, as the moment came. He could feel it now, feel the sharp pain as it raced into his body, as the thick head began to push aside the resistance from his muscles. How hard it hurt, how the pain had made him cry out. The way Rob stopped, the pain still rolling up and down his body, the cock head barely inside. He hurt, was biting his own lower lip, and he looked up into Rob’s face.

There was no mistaking his concern, but his whole body seemed unwilling to give in, to accept that it couldn’t handle the moment. It urged Rob on, screamed at him to enter inside, to let his whole body be impaled on his cock. His soul cried out, begging to be united with Rob’s. He saw the eyes understand, saw the brow furl a bit, the nostrils flare as the pressure grew inside.

The cries were loud, his hands grew white at the knuckles as they held the ankles, as more of the cock head moved past his muscles. The pain felt like it would never end, that it would explode through his own head, but he held on, crying out for more, begging for Rob to penetrate him, all the way.

He felt the sudden release of his muscles, felt the sudden drive of the cock into his insides. He felt the soft lining inside stretch, as if it would shatter. The huge cock was inside, filling him up in a way he couldn’t believe. So many strange feelings were raging inside. The pain still was rolling up and down his body, but so was the pure pleasure that came with the full penetration. His mind was torn, between the various senses.

Breathing in deeply, he smelled that scent, that aroma of male testosterone, that always made his head swoon. He could smell it now, ten times more powerful than ever before. It made him sweat, made every hair on his body seem to stand up on end. He cried out, with pure happiness, as Rob’s cock filled his insides, as his smell assailed his nostrils, as Rob’s sweat dropped into the rivers of his own.

Trent could feel it now, feel the way his insides were stretched as the pole slid deeper into his very being. He could feel it throb, feel it quiver as it slung free of the tiny muscles that feebly attempted to deny its presence. He could feel the thrill inside, as another man entered his body. It was nothing like he had imagined, dreamed of. It was more, so much more that he could only fathom it all now. Back then, it was too overwhelming.

He knew he had cried out, knew that his whole body had shook, knew that his very core had been shaken, as Rob filled him. He could still feel the rolling waves that overwhelmed every one of his senses. His body shook, as the huge pole stopped, reversed course, making him groan, making him clench his cheeks to try and stop the retreating pole. He thought he’d die if it left, and that was when once more it stopped. Near the point of final retreat, but it didn’t. It held firm, gathered its strength, and came back with an even greater urgency, an even greater push.

No slow steady motion, it dove deep and hard, until he felt as if Rob’s whole groin was about to penetrate his tiny little hole. He could feel the bristles of the pubic hairs, feel them scratching at the insides of his cheeks, tickling the soft flesh around his hole. He cried out, arching his body, trying to take him all the way in, failing.

Several quick thrusts, in and out, then it just all slowed down once more. His hands were numb, his legs too, as he felt Rob’s weight keeping them in the air. His body was totally impaled on Rob’s cock, that seemed to grow thicker with each thrust. Not for a second did he feel like his body wasn’t being pushed to its limits. Each thrust in seemed to want to tear past his insides, to exit from his throat.

He could hear his panting breath, feel his cock jerking as it bounced from each driving blow into his body. His balls ached too, from the hard slap of Rob’s stomach that crushed into him with each penetrating thrust. His eyes were blurred from the rivers of sweat that poured from every pore in his forehead. His arms ached, as if they were about to be wrenched from their socket, as Rob just pounded into his willing body.

As he relived that moment, he realized that then he had thought that Rob had pounded him for hours, though inside he knew it had to be minutes only. Now, he could count each thrust, and was surprised to realize how few thrusts it took, before Rob had pulled out, ripping the condom off his cock, and leaning up against him, his cock a blur, as Rob stroked his cock with a wild furry.

He could see his own eyes widen, staring at the blurry mass of flesh in the midst of Rob’s fist, saw it suddenly grow still, saw the coming white stream from deep within the head. It was all there, before him once more, as Rob came, as his jizz was flying from the mottled purple head, that stuck out from between the clenched fist.

His insides were still enjoying the fullness that had been Rob’s cock, now it was there, in front of his very eyes, its off white cream flying out in a steady stream. He could feel it striking his body, his chin even. He felt his own body tremble, felt it shake, as each drop landed.

There were many sounds, as he heard his own lungs screaming for air. As his body shuddered, he could hear Rob’s cries, hear his cry of complete surrender, as his cum flowed like a raging river, to coat Trent’s body. He could see it all, once more, as he felt each deep shudder rolling through his body.

But that was then, as he looked down at his friend. It was then, in a time long gone, but one he would never forget. His hand held Rob’s, as he felt the pulse quicken, felt the draw of his eyes once more. He didn’t want to look, as he knew it was Rob trying to say goodbye, but he wasn’t ready for that. He knew it was coming, but as the eyes held him, as they were fixed to his downward hanging face, he knew he’d have to face it, to accept it.

Yet deep down inside, he didn’t want to, didn’t want the memories to end, just yet. There had been so much to that night, to that birthday present, that he wanted time to enjoy it, to relive it once more with the person who had given it to him. He had never thanked Rob, nor had they ever spoken about it, but it was part of their friendship, their bond.

With a heavy heart, he slowly allowed his head to lift up, to look at his weakened friend. He knew what he would see, but as his eyes finally lifted up, to look back, he felt the strange glow in his heart, felt a strange beat that was reminiscent of a time long ago. He felt the heaviness around his heart ease, as if someone was brushing it away, like so much dust.

Looking down at Rob, he saw the opened eyes, saw the thin pale lips that had once kissed him where no one had before. He could recall that touch, feel it now, as his friend smiled up at him. He could see he was trying to speak, and he leaned forward, still holding his hand.

Trent could see the lips moving, as he bent closer, to hear the raspy weakened voice, to hear a soft crackling sound, as Rob spoke to him.

‘You give up too easy, we got more memories to make.’

His heart held steady, as he listened to the voice, as he heard the door to the room being flung opened. He saw the eyes and knew that the words were the truth. His body shook, as he leaned forward, letting go of the hand, to let it rest on the side of the pale face.

He looked down at him, his face tilted to one side. Trent could hear the huffing of a very angry man coming closer, but he didn’t care anymore. For the first time, he felt like he was his own man, free as a bird. He leaned closer, and lightly brushed his lips across those of his friend. He could hear the sudden gasp, the sudden stop of the rushing man that had burst into the room. Trent could hear it all, but inside, he could only hear his friend, hear his heart beating strong, next to his own.

Looking deep into Rob’s eyes, he spoke to him, hearing his answer, feeling his courage holding him steady, as he stood up from the metal chair, to turn and face his past. He felt so light, so free, that it was rather amazing, making him wonder why he hadn’t done this a long time ago. Of course he knew the answer to that, but at least it wasn’t too late.

As he turned fully, he let his hand fall to his side, to reach for Rob’s. He felt the fingers touch his, clasp his hand, as he stared at the mottled face of the General. He could see the ribbons, that used to always shine, always cast off a glare to those who stared at them. Yet now, they seemed rather lack lustre, rather tarnished really, as he felt the rush of excitement inside.

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Anointing of the Man Child

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (7)

Somehow the darkness seemed less forbidding, less intimidating, as he felt Trent next to him. He could hear him breathing, almost see it really, as he peered into the darkness. There was no mistaking how he had his head hung low, how his body trembled a little. He could feel it in how the bed seemed to move, as he waited.

It seemed like an eternity before Trent started talking. The words were said so softly that Blake had trouble hearing some of them, but as the story unfolded, he realized just how much pain Trent had to be in, just as he was. He listened in horror as he heard Trent explain that it had happened to him too, but not recently, but years ago, just when all those strange feelings were being felt, when a guy first realized that he was different than his friends, that he wasn’t into girls, but wanted guys.

He listened quietly, feeling his heart thump, feeling his blood turn to ice as he listened to the story, of how at just 14 he had made the mistake of telling his best friend how he had felt. He felt the cold come to him, as Trent told him how his friend had let everyone in school know about him, and how one day after baseball practice, his so called friends had waylaid him, had decided he needed a lesson in what being men were.

His stomach gurgled as he wanted to throw up, as Trent told him it all, in detail. It was like what had happened to him, but in Trent’s case, he knew his attackers. They were his team mates, and worse, the Coach knew. He hadn’t stopped the attack, had simply turned an eye to it, and had even chastised Trent, telling him what did he expect, for being a sinner?

Listening to the story, to how Trent’s so called friends took turns abusing him, doing things that made his blood grow cold, made him think back to Ron, to his own friends. Would they have turned on him too, if they had known? Would they have waylaid him as Trent’s had done? Maybe, though he wasn’t sure, and yet Trent didn’t seem to have let it stop him, to have changed him.

As the horror unfolded he couldn’t believe the things done, all by so called friends. It was like they had all gone crazy, had become animals. He had read the books too, yet he never believed them, but now he knew they were true. Just as Trent had found out, he too had found out, but this was 2008, not the Middle Ages. This wasn’t possible, and yet as he listened, as he felt Trent’s hand tremble under his, he knew it was true.

He could hear a clock ticking off in the distance, hear the silence as the darkness just seemed to hold them both in its cloak. The beat of his heart sounded so loud in his ears, different than last night, scary even, as he tried to figure it all out, to make sense of it. The pain in his body, well it hurt but somehow it didn’t seem as bad as the pain he felt in his heart, from listening to Trent, from remembering the way his attackers sounded. That hurt more than anything, as he sat there, realizing that he wasn’t alone in how he felt.

His hand was on top of Trent’s, as he clasped it, feeling how cold it felt, how afraid Trent was, as was he. It didn’t make sense, all that hate.

‘What happened after, did the Police charge them?’

‘The Cops? No, no one got charged.’

‘Why not? I mean…’

‘You saw how they were at the Hospital?’

‘Yeah, but that is here, I mean they still took everything down, I don’t…’

‘You don’t get it, I never told anyone, least not until now, how could I? My parents, they wouldn’t believe me, it would have been my fault, and it would have made things worse, it was bad enough, so no, there weren’t any charges, I didn’t tell anyone.’

He felt suddenly like he was an old man. Everything he had believed in, everything he had relied on, seemed to suddenly not exist. It was a shock, one that was only acerbated by the pain inside. Blake felt like he had been living in some bubble, as he should have known. He felt so empty, and yet there had been last night. That had been good, no matter what, as he looked over at the slumped shadow next to him.

Blake let his hand move up the trembling hand, to take a tentative hold on the arm, and yanked a bit, to try and bring Trent closer to him. At first he felt him resist, then he too seemed to just collapse, as it all took hold of them both.

Trent was holding him, hard at first but he quickly pulled back, as Blake winced and moaned a bit, as the pain from his injuries intruded. Trent released his pressure a bit, but didn’t move away, and Blake felt his breath on his face, as they looked at each other.

‘Some friend I am.’

‘Huh? You are a good friend.’

‘Yeah right, here you are the one who gets beaten up, and I am the one crying on your shoulder. Fine pair of mugs we are.’

‘Haha, yeah, but it’s okay, I don’t think… I mean Trent, last night, was it, I mean…’

‘Yeah, I meant it Blake, I don’t, I mean it’s not been easy for me to meet guys, only well, only lately did I feel safe enough, so yeah, last night was real, least for me.’

‘Me too.’

‘For real? I mean I know how you must be feeling, how things like what happened, how it screws us up, if we let it.’

‘Then let’s not let it, Trent, what happened, it really isn’t our fault, is it?’

Blake felt the body stiffen next to him, then relax a bit. He also felt the head move closer, then a soft brush of Trent’s lips against his own. His body jerked a bit, as he felt the tender kiss on his bruised lips, felt the sudden ache in his groin too, felt the stirring there that he hadn’t felt since the attack.

‘No, it isn’t, it really isn’t.’

Blake felt his own body relax, as he tasted the kiss, felt the warmth returning to his body, as he also felt the ache from his bruises. He felt better, as he slumped back down onto the mattress, holding Trent’s hand.

Trent began to get up, off the bed when Blake reached out with his hand, to tug at Trent’s arm. He saw him turn, and look down at him.

‘Don’t go, not tonight.’

He could see the lips part, see the gleam of Trent’s teeth as he smiled down at him, then watched as stood up by the bed. His face was in darkness, but saw his arms move down, as he dropped his pants, and then lifted up the covers, to slide under the covers, to lay next to Blake.

Trent reached over, and gently lay his arm over Blake, and let him roll into his warm body. Blake felt the press of Trent’s body, and his eyes closed. His body seemed to just uncoil, as he felt the soft press of Trent’s body next to his own. He felt safe, for really the first time since coming back from the hospital, as sleep began to take hold.

Yet even as his mind began to rest, he could feel the warmth at his groin, feel the warmth of Trent’s bare legs against his, and he sighed, feeling content. He was safe, and the memory of earlier was gone, for now. Instead he saw the way Trent was looking at him, when he had been on his knees, staring up at him. It was last night, and he knew that what they had planned for tonight, wasn’t lost, that it would happen, just not now.

—–

Time had flown by, and here he was, standing in front of everyone, about to become a member. It was still amazing, given how things had gone, but he had done it, had gotten past the first trials, then the beating. That still hurt at times, but he had his last exam this morning, and the Doctor had told him there was no sign of internal injuries, which meant, tonight was a go, if he wanted.

Stealing a glance down the line, he saw Trent, and immediately he felt the stirring in his groin. In his mind, there was no doubt that tonight would be a go, and best of all, they wouldn’t have to look for a place. As members of the Fraternity, they had their own room, and it had been decided that they share a room. It was sort of a gift, from the guys, which had made him weepy, when they told him last night.

From being a 200 to 1 long shot at making the Fraternity, he was now fully accepted. The ceremony was a formality, but he had been told earlier that he would make it, simply because he hadn’t given in to the hate. He hadn’t backed down, like he had thought he would, and while not much would come of it, least when he walked along the Quad, the whispers weren’t so much, and people actually didn’t avoid him. Some even smiled or waved at him, which was a lot different than he had hoped for.

It was far from being over, but he wasn’t backing down. He was pursuing it, forcing the Administration to deal with it, to find ways to correct it. While it wasn’t much, the unlit path to the Fraternity was now lit at night, just as the other paths were. Campus Police patrolled it as often as the other pathways, and the New Chancellor had promised that the College would find his attackers, would prosecute them.

Not many at the Frat House bought that, but they were willing to wait and see. It hadn’t made the news beyond a brief blurb on the local television station, but that was okay too. He really didn’t need that kind of attention, but he also knew, standing there now, that if it hadn’t been for Trent, he’d never be standing here, never be looking forward to his first full fledged night with a guy. Least that was the plan, but this time he wasn’t about to take any chances.

After the ceremony, he wasn’t leaving the house. Nor was he letting Trent go out either, and he already had purchased all he needed for tonight. There were not one, not two, but four boxes of unused Condoms in their room. Two giant bottles of lubricant to go with the Condoms , one water based, one silicon based. Reading all those magazines had given him the facts, that some Condoms were less reliable with silicon lube, so he wanted to make sure.

Trent had laughed at him when they were at the mall. How he had read every label, so carefully, before selecting not just the lube, but the Condoms . He avoided the one’s with spermacide in them, avoided the short dated one’s too. They had laughed when Trent said he was like some GI Joe on a Mission.

Gawd, how good it had felt to laugh, to just be thinking of tonight, instead of his nightmare. He still had those, but each night they came to him, Trent had been there. He had held him, had comforted him as he had relived the horrors, had imagined worse, but now they didn’t last as long, didn’t need hours of comforting to put them aside.

Looking at the row of guys making the leap forward, he felt rather special. He knew things weren’t going to be easy, specially if they did find the guys who had attacked him, but he was different than that night, not an easy mark anymore. He had taken some lessons, very basic one’s, but he already felt like he had changed.

To begin with, his parents had been amazing. The Cops had called them, but they didn’t yell, scream, or ignore him. His father had offered to come up, to take him home if he wanted, which was a huge change. His mother had worried about him, but he had managed to assure them both that he was okay, he even had the guts to tell them about Trent, and to his surprise, they hadn’t sounded upset, or surprised.

Less than two weeks, and it was like an eternity of changes had happened almost overnight. He had a new self confidence, most of the time. Yet he was honest enough to know it was just a beginning, just a start due in large part to Trent. How he had stood by him, never leaving his side, but it wasn’t just him. It was everyone, from the Frat President downwards. They were all there, for him, which had surprised him.

They had run a sort of shuttle like service. Posters appeared on Campus, with a telephone number for Gays wanting someone to go with them, when walking to town, or just going back from a late night study session at the Library. The Frat Guys had it all set up, and it had surprised their straight counter parts when they found out just who some of the gay guys on campus were.

Most of the Weight Lifting team for example, were members, and any one of them could take on at least two or three others. Couple of the defensive line turned out to be Gay also, which shocked the football coach. Shocked him so much, that he resigned even.

It was like a revolution of sorts, in how suddenly a lot of people just became gay. No one had suspected them, no one had guessed, and he wondered if some of it was simply symbiotic, or if all those who came out, really were. He was pretty certain that a couple of the football players that had signed up for the protection service really weren’t gay, and frankly none had actually said they were.

Everyone just assumed that only Gays would turn out to help Gays, but Trent didn’t buy that, nor did the Frat House. They seemed all rather pleased, and gave him the credit for making it happen, though in all honesty, he didn’t think he had done much. All he had done, was sign a complaint, at the local Police Station, and had followed it up with a formal complaint at the Administration area.

Course one of the old Alumni had helped more than him, though it was on his behalf. The guy was a top lawyer, and someone had send him an email about Blake’s attack. He suspected it had been Trent, but Trent denied it, though not quite as well as he should have, if he hadn’t done it. Still, he got the credit, and now tonight was his chance at what he had really wanted.

He felt totally nervous, and most of what was being said at the ceremony was going over his head. He couldn’t help but still think about it, about how it would feel, to have something up his ass, that he wanted. Blake had to keep telling himself that, as his mind tried to ruin the desire of his heart. He wanted Trent, wanted it all, and yet his mind seemed to resist, to try and force him to change his mind.

There had been the excuse of it being too dangerous, specially so soon after his assault. He had taken care of that by talking to the Doctor, one he had found off campus. One who wasn’t a prude either. Man that had been scary, trying to broach the subject with a total stranger, but the man had made it easy, unlike the one’s on campus or at the Hospital.

As the ceremony wound down, he could feel his nerves stretching, feel the sweat beading up on his forehead. It was nearing that time. Yet while he felt the ache in his rectum, in his groin too, he also felt scared. What if he didn’t like it? What if he couldn’t do it, just yet?

He ran over his check list, trying to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. Hell he had taken every precaution possible. Had ate a light dinner last night, nothing but fluids all day, and some vitamins. He had made damn sure he was cleaned out, which had gotten Trent giggling this morning. But hell, last thing he wanted was to gross him out, and the kiss he had gotten, well that made the constant trips to the toilet worth it.

Blake had read about all this stuff, had thought what a hassle, and in reality it was. Still, if you wanted to have it all go right, it was worth it. Least he was rather hoping it would be. Still, he worried about things that had him skittish. The slightest sound would make him jump, and he had nearly lost it when Trent had sneaked up behind him, and popped a balloon. Christ, had he jumped a mile in the air, yelled too when he found out it was all a joke, but then as they had hugged, he couldn’t help but laugh too.

Then too, he had gotten even. A well chosen moment, a well aimed balloon with just the right amount of ice cold water, had satisfied his desire for revenge. It had looked so funny, and the others, all laughing with him, had saved him from Trent’s anger, but then Trent never seemed to get angry at him. Put out maybe, but never really angry.

It was almost like they were meant for each other, as if all that had gone on, had not driven them apart, but had brought them closer. He felt so happy, as he shook hands with the Frat President, as he mingled with Brian, and the other new members that had made it through. Funny thing was, other than the one that first night, no one had flunked out.

The House had simply expanded by nineteen new pledges, with cots being added to many of the rooms. He and Trent were slated to have a new roomie too, but it wasn’t to happen until next weekend. It was like the House were giving them time, to let his injuries heal, to let them have some private time. No one had asked them too, it was just done.

Kind of made him wonder, why so many hated Gays. From what he had seen, his kind weren’t nasty, weren’t constantly having sex either. It wasn’t a constant parade of naked men either, with hard ons. Fact was, he saw more dick at the dorm than here, as most walked around with towels covering themselves, unlike the Dorm.

Course it wasn’t that way in his room, not with Trent. The guy was a show off, the way he would enter the room from classes, and in less than a blink of an eye, he would be stark naked. At first he wasn’t sure if it was simply to make him not feel ashamed, or what, but as the days wore on, he realized that Trent liked showing him his naked body. Fact was, he enjoyed seeing it too, though there wasn’t much he could do, least not at the beginning.

He somehow got into the same habit too, so much that when other’s came to call them for dinner, or to pop in to check on him, they would enter with their hands over their eyes. It made them both laugh, as they would quickly grab a towel or sheet to cover their nakedness, but lately, well, who cared?

They earned the nickname, Sunshine Boys, not for being old, but for being alleged nudists. They were always in the buff, in their room, and well, Trent did have nicely tanned skin, though not all over. He had that nice little whiteness, that always made Blake horny.

The first few days had been awkward, but the more that Trent ignored it, the more that he simply took being naked in front of Blake as natural, the more Blake seemed to feel himself change too. He didn’t close the bathroom door when undressing, or taking a pee. He liked it when Trent would stare at him, would comment on how nice of a penis he had.

That first touch, after the attack had been something he would never forget. It wasn’t that he even managed to get fully erect, but that problem ended the very next time. Yet it was typical of Trent, at how he worked at making him feel normal, without it appearing to be work. How he simply would reach out, and grab his dick now, to yank on it, and lick his lips. How his eyes would glance up at Blake, as if asking if it was okay.

He enjoyed being sucked off, enjoyed sucking too, and while it had taken almost a full week before it happened, it seemed like it would never end now. The instant he heard the door to the room open, and that it was Trent, his dick would suddenly spring up, become fully aroused.

Trent was a big tease too, as he would sometimes undress real slow, or would strip so fast, but not his undies. Then he would parade around, swishing around, showing off his ass. And he had a nice one too, least Blake thought so. Tonight, he was hoping to experience a lot more of Trent’s ass.

Last night, he had been worried, hoping that today’s Doctor’s appointment would give him the green light for tonight. Even the shopping for the Condoms , the lubricant , was all in anticipation of tonight, which he really didn’t think would happen, least not then. Sure he wanted it to happen, least he thought he did. There were still doubts, still fears, and they had talked long into the night about it.

Another change for him. He had never had anyone to talk to, to actually discuss things like how it felt to have a dick in the ass, or to suck on one. Trent seemed so open about it all, yet the more they talked, the more Blake realized that Trent was just as shy as he was. He just showed it differently, but the talks, it was something he wished he could have done a lot sooner, done without having to have been attacked.

Trent was the worrier now, when it had been him at first. Trent was the one who insisted on having the Doctor tell him, face to face, that they could have sex, that it wouldn’t cause any damage. Then too, the Doctor had said they would have to take it slow, which had made Blake laugh.

He had to explain why too, which made Trent blush, because they had talked about it, about how Trent liked to not pound an ass, but to go in slow and deep, then pull out slow, before going back in. How he preferred to take his time, to feel every nerve inside, to feel every muscle surrender to his dick, as it moved inside.

The Doctor had only grinned, and slapped Trent on the back, then gave his okay, saying that he was sure it would be okay. Funny thing about it, until that slap, that almost laughing agreement that it would be okay, he hadn’t felt horny, but in that instant, he had gotten a boner. A real hard one, that required very little effort to relieve, once they had gotten back to the Frat House.

It was also the first time that he had gotten Trent to nearly choke, on his cum. The expression on Trent’s face had been priceless, as he had taken Blake’s cock, had managed to wrap his lips around it, and was only half way down on his shaft, before Blake had felt it begin.

He had cried out, his hands had suddenly dug deep into Trent’s shoulders, and his body had reared back, before lurching forward, hard. His whole cock had suddenly been thrust fully into Trent’s mouth, without much warning. Blake had heard him gag, heard him struggle, as his cock just seemed to explode.

His whole body had trembled, had shook as he emptied his balls, as Trent tried to swallow it all, failing too. A lot of Blake’s cum was dribbling down Trent’s chin, as he pulled out, and felt himself shake. It had been quick, and as he looked down at Trent, he could feel how much Trent cared for him. It had never struck him, as much as at that moment.

Funny thing about it, was how Trent leaned back on his hands, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then licked his lips. He grinned too, as he said that next time he’d like a bit more notice, so he wouldn’t be such a slob, and miss out on his protein. Blake had surprised himself, by telling Trent that there was lots more, when he was able to properly suck a dick.

He had changed, and he was enjoying the change too. As the group began to break up, as guys paired off with others, to celebrate on their own, he looked for Trent, to take him up to their room, where he could finish his education into the Gay lifestyle.

Blake jumped as a hand clapped him firmly on the shoulder. Turning around, he saw Trent standing there, his eyes sparkling, as he stared at him. He smiled back, relaxed as he felt the hand reach out, take his and begin to lead him towards the main stairway. He could feel other’s watching, wondering for a bit at why, but ignoring it, as he felt the urgency inside of his body.

They took the stairs, mostly two at a time, and moved down the hallway towards their room. He was having troubles keeping up, as Trent seemed in a rather rush, which surprised him a bit. He had figured he’d be the one rushing, but something was holding him back, or so it felt.

Then as they approached their room, he couldn’t help but notice that there was something on the door. It made him stop for a moment, made him suddenly remember the taunts from that night, made him shiver. He felt Trent stop, then squeeze his hand, which pushed the memories away, and let him move forward.

The door had pink ribbons on it, and a small little bronze plate. He stared at it, then read the inscription on it. His body shook, as he read the large print, that said ‘lovers only’ and below that, were his and Trent’s name.

He felt the kiss, felt the hand grope him, then he was inside the darkened room. Small candles were flickering next to the their beds, which had been pushed together in the center of the room. They had done it before, but it was different this time. The flickering candle light made his heart quiver a bit, as he saw the single rose.

It was a deep fire red, and was placed across both pillows. It just seemed to shimmer in the candle light, as he felt Trent next to him. He turned to stare at him, and he felt his touch on his face, wiping away a tear at the corner of one eye.

The kiss was soft and gentle. Blake felt his eyes close, felt his body melt into Trent’s body, as the kiss made his whole body tremble. Then he could feel the soft caress of his hands over his whole body, just lightly touching him. He moaned, as he felt his shirt being undone, felt his chin being lifted up, the hollow of his neck being lightly kissed.

He stood there, feeling the tenderness, feeling the joy of just being held. His body was trembling, as Trent slowly opened his shirt, slowly moved his hand along his chest, lightly caressing him. He shivered, as the flickering lights danced around him, as his body revelled in the soft touch of Trent’s hand that gradually had him stripped naked.

Blake had no idea what time it was, or how long it had taken, but he was standing there, in Trent’s arms, totally nude. His body ached, in a good way as he felt his butt cheeks clench and unclench as Trent’s hand passed over them. He felt the hardness of his cock, as the fingers moved lightly over the hard shaft, barely touching the hot flesh.

He felt his legs quiver, as the hand moved up and down, as Trent’s tongue licked at him, touching him as it had many times before, yet it was different this time. It was more tender, more sensual. He felt his whole body shaking, as the hands moved him, guided him, until he was suddenly stretched out on the bed. He didn’t even remember falling down onto the bed, or how Trent had somehow managed to shed his own clothes. All he knew was that he was there, resting beside him, his hand moving over his rolling stomach muscles, that his cock was sticking up like a flag pole, harder than he had ever been.

The ache in his balls were excruciating, yet wonderful as Trent’s fingers moved across the full sac. He felt his breath on his forehead, as he leaned over to reach for something next to him. The flickering lights were suddenly gone, their wild dance on the room walls were suddenly gone, and the darkness took hold. He didn’t panic this time, as usual. He didn’t feel a cold chill creep into his body, as he smelled that cologne, that Trent wore.

He felt the ache inside, felt his body quiver as he rolled over onto his stomach. The hands moved lightly over his back, around the nape of his neck, lifting his hair up. He felt the soft press of lips and shivered, as Trent kissed him, then dragged his tongue downwards. He felt it run down his spine, right to the beginning of his butt.

His legs twitched, his cheeks seemed to flutter a bit, shake like jelly, as the hand moved along them, the fingers barely touching. He sighed, as his body sunk further into the mattress below. His body ached, but not from pain, but from desire.

It felt like he was floating on air, the way everything was so soft, so gentle. The touch of his hands, of his fingers, of his mouth. Blake felt the love, felt it hold him as his body was finally made into a man. He had cried out, a soft low groan, that barely echoed in the room, as he felt the pulse of his heart race. His lungs grew short of breath, as he felt the fullness inside of his body, as he slowly felt the beat next to his own heart. He felt the tears at the corners of his eyes, as his body grew fuller, as slowly the muscles inside gave way to the warmth, to the slowly moving energy that was Trent’s love for him.

He felt it all, as if he was floating on a cloud. In and out he felt it push, felt it touch him. It was like his whole insides were slowly wrapping around it, holding it for a second, before letting it in further, touching it in such a way, that it throbbed with pleasure. His whole body felt like it was on fire, felt like he was melting.

Time seemed endless, as he felt the love hold him, caress him. Nothing seemed to matter, there was no pain, just a warmth that made him glow, as he felt the shortness of breath, felt the racing pulse, felt the hard beat of a heart, mingle with another wild beating heart. He felt it all, felt every touch, every nerve, as the fullness only grow inside of him, only helped him feel the warmth around his whole body. The bed was soaked, dripping from his sweat, from Trent’s, but he didn’t notice it, as he felt the cry before he heard it.

It wasn’t loud, wasn’t primal, or even harsh sounding. It was slow and yet deafening at the same time. His whole body had shook, quivered, and he felt it, felt it fill and stretch the thin plastic, then he felt it moving, felt it going back out of his body. He cried, his body heaving, as he felt the hard pole, felt a sense of panic, that quickly was erased. That one instant, that one moment of stark terror had come back, but it had been beaten back. He cried, as he felt the love, felt the passion that had taken its place.

His body ached, his legs were taut and stretch tightly. His toes had curled up and arched, but even as he catalogued it all, he knew that his nightmares wouldn’t come back, not tonight, not tomorrow either. He sighed, as his body took all of Trent’s weight onto itself. He felt his own body, exhausted, but satisfied, for the moment, as he felt the warmth deep inside. He felt it all, felt it growing, even as the fullness grew less. His body was radiating the heat, the passion, that had filled him just seconds earlier, as he sighed, smelling that aroma, that scent that was his and Trent’s.