Tag: feelings


The Locker – Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Choose thy love.Love thy choice.

— German Proverb

Part 1

He opened his eyes slowly, not quite sure where he was and then he felt the warm chest under his head rising in a steady rhythm and he suddenly felt relaxed and at ease. His own breathing began to rise a little as he thought about where he was and he moved his head a little to stare up at the clear blue sky that lay above him, no city lights to interfere with the pristine view or cloud it over. He sighed a little thinking of how lucky he was and how much he felt like fate had somehow taken a hand and made him come to this point, now if he could only manage to do his part, maybe then all this would be exactly as he dreamed?

No, thinking like that wasn’t going to help, because nothing he had dreamed of could ever equal how he was feeling right now, or had felt all the time he had been here or with Dakota. Nothing in all of his reading, his searching could ever equal the warmth he was feeling inside, the strange ease at which he now felt. Funny, he could feel the dried love between his legs and normally that feeling always irritated him but now, now it was like a badge of proof, a symbol maybe that he wasn’t alone anymore.

Noah turned his face away from the distant stars to gaze down at Dakota and was surprised to see Dakota’s dark brown eyes gazing up at him. He felt a strange thrill go thru his whole body, as he looked deep into those rich brown eyes, feeling a sense of love that he never felt before, a sense that he was something special to this tall lanky boy whose chest he was resting on. He could feel the tingle growing between his legs too as he felt the soft gentle touch of Dakota’s fingers against his cheek as Noah continued to look into the eyes. It was everything he had ever imagined love to be and oh so much more that he wanted to shout it out, to stand up and proclaim his love and as he thought of it, he felt the gentle touch of Dakota’s finger tips against his lips, gently brushing past his thin pale lips, making his heart scream in pure pleasure.

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Along the Garden Path (2)

Along the Garden Path

By Ian Kovnats (Gaystoryman)

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (2)

Matt H from Blake MasonIt had been two weeks since his encounter with Mr. Willows, and so far not a peep from the old guy. It was a bit unsettling but he figured the Misses was keeping an eye on her husband, as she certainly seemed around a bit more than usual. Not that she hadn’t been before, but normally she would give her instructions, then disappear until his next visit.

That had changed the very next time he had shown up. She kept popping out, checking on his work, which made him nervous. The way she would stand off to one side, watching, hands on hips. It was almost like being on inspection or something. Yet she didn’t venture any conversation, not even a hello. She just would stand there, watching for what seemed an eternity.

The lace curtains in the main window barely fluttered. It was as if Mr. Willows had just vanished, or been kept away from any way of looking out. Even the upstairs windows seemed so empty, that he wondered if maybe the old geezer had been kicked out. Yet he figured he’d have noticed some sign of that, but he wasn’t too certain.

Mrs. Willows was a tough customer. She kept her conversations brief, to the point, so he might have missed the signs. Yet as he did his work, he couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous, waiting for the other shoe to fall. He doubted she could have any inkling of what they had been up to.

He tried to put it out of his mind, but it kept nagging at him, as he tried to get on with his work. Still he did keep glancing up at the big front bay windows, looking for some sign of Mr. Willows. He even managed to do his special little stretching, hoping that there was an audience, uncertain if there was.

Strange how he seemed so distracted, without his audience. Not like the man had been out there often, or more than a shadowy figure behind some curtains, other than the last time. Yet it felt different, odd really, as he tried to concentrate on the day’s work. His whole body seemed edgy, restless, as if he had been expecting a date to show up, who was way late.

Granted their first little tryst hadn’t been much, and yet for some reason, he felt like it had been a possible beginning of something he didn’t want to miss out on. There was no rational explanation for his feelings, but he had been horny all last night, and this morning. Now that wasn’t unusual, but even his normal quick little whack offs hadn’t satisfied the ache he felt inside.

It was some strange aphrodisiac, making him glance up constantly at the big house, at the empty curtained windows. He didn’t know what to expect, and as the day dragged on, it was becoming evident that there was going to be no Mr. Willows, no tryst out back behind the big double jointed Tree by the stream. In a sense, it made the work seem harder, less enjoyable, which was something for him.

Jesse loved his work, always did, and while he loved his sex too, gardening was something that much more rewarding to him. Oh he liked to cum, to be touched, fucked even, but to watch plants grow, to see them flourish, was something even a good night of wild sex didn’t quite equal. It came close, damn close once or twice, but never equal or greater to the joy of seeing plants sprout, rise up and fill out. It was like a slower process of watching a cock get stiff, that lasted a damn site longer.

Maybe that was why some of his dates were impressed by his sexual prowess? He never rushed things, he liked to feel the blood filling the cock, tightening around the vessels, making the skin grow taut, thickening the shaft. He loved how he could see the skin stretch, as the blood flowed through the vessels, filling and constricting the vessels. How the head would deepen in color as more blood was rushing around.

The way his fingers would touch it too, was something that everyone complimented him on, at how soft and sensuous it had felt, as he would ran the tips all over the shaft, the head, and down beneath too, to the sac, and beyond. He could feel them tremble as his finger tips would softly run along the pulsing veins, to lightly caress the tiny hairs underneath. How they would lightly pass over the moist flesh, the muscles below the surface quivering to his touch.

He knew he wanted to feel all that himself, and that Mr. Willows might just be the kind of guy who could deliver, what he himself gave his sex partners. Attention, loving care, to the whole body, not just the penis or the hole. How he enjoyed touching every part of a guy’s body, caressing it, prodding it when least expected. It was all part of the nurturing process, of coaxing more than just a normal rushed explosion.

Some called him a tease, but in a good way. They all loved how he would bring them close, not once, not twice or even three times, but make it last for the night, until they least expected it. Then he would bring them to the point, and over the top, just as if some flower had been brought to bloom when it was more than ready. How it would explode, spurting its seeds everywhere, which is how he liked his dates to cum. To see more than just a quick dribble or two, but to see the whole body convulse time, and time again, as the precious fluid poured out from the quivering dick.

Jesse knew his biggest problem was, that not many of the guys he dated, could return the favour. Oh they weren’t bad or even boring, but they just were in too much of a hurry. They didn’t know how to control their own emotions, to lose themselves in the other person, like he could. It was okay, but it rarely left him feeling totally satisfied.

It was like he was on some strange search or quest really. To find the perfect man, who could appreciate his body, just as he appreciated theirs. He hadn’t thought it would be such a hard journey, but it had proven to be just that. There had been one or two, maybe three, who he could put up in the ‘worth exploring more’ category, and maybe a couple of more that might be trained, but he didn’t want that. Jesse knew his own mind, he wanted to be pleased now, just as he pleased them.

None of that taking time to explain that while he liked the idea that his cock was a super turn on, he still wanted them to show it some care, some wonder, as they explored every vein, every piece of flesh that covered his uncut dick. He wanted them to take time as they made his foreskin tighten, not rush it with a quick hard grasp, and pump his cock a few times, like they were milking some damn cow’s udders.

He wanted long thoughtful strokes, just as he gave them. Jesse wanted to feel every bit of the tongue as it slowly licked on his cock, as it gradually made its way up and over his cock head. He wanted to feel the tongue curl, as it licked into his little slit, at the top of the cock head, gobbling up his precum, then tasting it before letting it slide down the throat.

Just like his plants, you didn’t just grab hold and plunk them down into the hole, you caressed them, you carefully held them as you tenderly made room for them in the earth. It was how he liked his sex, thoughtful, careful, and hot as hell. Just like a plant, it needed fluid to surround itself in the earth, and a good fuck needed the same care, the same attention.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized he was missing Mr. Willows. He had such promise, such a direct way of indicating his needs, though they hadn’t done very much. Still, the way he had spoken, how his eyes had looked at him, enjoying every second of his slow revealing of his crotch, of his body. That wasn’t something many enjoyed, they were always grabbing, reaching to speed him up, to pull his shorts down and lean over to suck on his cock, while grabbing the shaft and stroking it hard, wanting to taste it, before it was time.

Mr. Willows hadn’t been like that, he had watched, with his eyes, while his body absorbed the moment, while it readied itself. He could tell then, that Mr. Willows had potential, even if he was 72. Age didn’t matter when it came to appreciation. Jesse had learned that, from his work in various gardens. Some of the most beautiful plants, were long past the seedling stage, and had endured a lot from Mother Nature, just as Mr. Willows seemed to have.

Glancing up at the big bay window, he couldn’t help but give his hard dick a quick grope, a quick little grasp, to let it know he was aware of how hard it was, of how much he wanted it to be touched, to be worshipped. His eyes narrowed, as he saw her figure coming from around back, the long purposeful strides of a person on a mission, or so it always seemed. She never wasted a step, taking full strides in her quest to get wherever she was heading.

As he watched, he knew she was once more coming to check on his progress, to once more stand off to one side, judging his performance, his abilities. He hated her, at that moment, uncertain why, but knowing it was her, that was preventing him from watching, from enjoying their little teasing routine. Their foreplay, really, as his eyes narrowed, his lungs ached a bit. She was becoming annoying, and if it wasn’t for his need for him, he would tell her to chuck the job, and just leave.

Still, he knew he couldn’t do that, not without at least trying to see if his impression of Mr. Willows was real, or just another failed prospect. He didn’t know why, but he had a different feeling about the older man, than he did with other prospects. For some reason, just how he had watched him, how his eyes followed his every movement, was different than others. It was almost as if he could sense what Jesse was going to do next, before Jesse did.

The closer she got, the more his anger towards her grew. It was unreasonable, but he couldn’t help himself. He had been denied something he had been searching for, or at least had it delayed, and he didn’t want to miss out on one second of pleasure. Least that was how he was looking at it, as she came closer, her sour and twisted face becoming more grotesque, to his eyes, the closer she got.

Even the sound of her voice was beginning to grate on his nerves, as she instructed him that the big patch out back, that he had spent weeks on, was to be dug up, for some plumping work. She wanted it moved to a new spot, further away, and he was to begin the task on his next visit.

It wasn’t an unreasonable request, but he gritted his teeth, feeling put out. That garden bed had been painstaking work, now to have to move it, to a spot that was less than ideal, was almost too much. Yet she was the boss, and he agreed, suggesting that perhaps they could find a different spot, that would give them better light. She merely stared at him, informing him that she had made the selection, and it was his job to make it work.

In a way it was her way of dismissing him, as he bit his lower lip. For 2 cents he’d tell her to shove it, but he knew she would just have the bed dug up, killing many of the young plants. He couldn’t allow that, which only infuriated him more. Yet he gave in, knowing no one else could move them, with any degree of care, as he could.

Packing up his tools, he stared at his employer, wishing she would just go away. Jesse felt his anger rising, wanting to say something, but mindful of his position. He could tell that she knew he was angry, but it didn’t change her expression one bit. Her face was as stony, as cold as always, as she informed him that perhaps he would add another day each week, so that the move was done quickly. She even indicated that she would provide an extra ‘stipend’ to his weekly pay, above his normal fee, in return for his agreement.

At first he thought of refusing, but her look, her mannerisms, said he better not. He hated her, at that moment, but accepted her request, as he placed his tools into the wheelbarrow. Lifting it up, he felt deflated, no longer feeling like working, which was something for him. Granted it was near quitting time, but he rarely felt anxious to leave. Now he did, as he started the cleanup process, doing it more out of habit, than anything else. It also made him feel depressed, as he slammed the back tailgate of his truck. He turned to see the back of her, striding towards the big house, his eyes narrowing with hate. Jesse never had felt so angry, as he did at that moment.

Climbing into the truck, he took one more hard look at the big house. His eyes searched every window, to see any sign of Mr. Willows. There was nothing out of the ordinary, as he settled into the seat, feeling miserable. He knew he needed a diversion, to get his mind off of Mr. Willows, off of the anger he had for her. Only trouble was, he didn’t know what, as he gunned the truck, a sign of rebellion as she hated loud noises. It gave him a bit of satisfaction, as he sped down the drive, out to the street, managing to squeal the tires a bit as he turned onto the street, away from her.


It took him several hours to calm down, to stop cursing to the air in his own home. Even going out back to work with his orchids, in the green house, wasn’t satisfying his need to relax. Jesse couldn’t explain his anxiety, nor his sudden rage either. It didn’t make sense, considering how little he knew about Mr. Willows.

He knew the guy had been watching him, had wanted him too. After all they had that brief moment out back, until she ruined it. Now it seemed like she had ruined any chance of further contact. The moving of the bed out back, to the new distant location on the property made it certain that Mr. Willows wouldn’t be able to even watch him work. No more stretches, to show off his own desire, no more nothing.

Even using the kitchen was made more difficult, with the distance, and it would take time, to properly move all those plants & bushes he had laid out. Then there was the whole prep of the ground to sort out, before anything could move. The digging, the painstaking work of insuring the soil contained no weeds, and was properly seeded with nutrients, with worms.

All because of some battle axe. His anger was still there, as he paced the back, looking at his beloved plants, not really noticing them. He knew he should go back inside, not add any tension to the area, but he couldn’t face the house, not yet. The realization that his mood, his anger, might damage the growth of his precious flowers, he slowly began to count, trying to calm the nerves, trying to restore order to his mind.

The flashing of the light, above the door of his greenhouse told him he had a visitor out front. He felt the frustration of everything rising again, as he made his way back to the house. Glancing at his watch, he noticed just how late it was, wondering now, who would be calling at such a late hour.

Most of his friends knew better than to drop by unannounced, or without a prior call. It made him a bit puzzled, as thoughts that it was the Shrew herself, come to have it out with him, or to fire him. Well fine, if it was, he had a few choice words ready, though he knew it was being unreasonable.

Opening the door, more or less asking in an angry voice who it was, before seeing the person, he was a bit surprised to see a tall man, dressed in a dark grey uniform. The man even had on one of those hats, that looked official. It rather surprised him, as he stared at the man, noting how he filled out the uniform very nicely.

He was a little over six foot he guessed, and perhaps around 200 pounds, but it was all muscle. Jesse could see that, as he quickly took it all in, asking the man what he wanted.

Mr. Willows sent me.

The man’s voice was cold, just as his eyes seemed to be as they stared down a bit at Jesse. They looked so lifeless, so menacing, that he actually took a step backwards, wondering if the man was going to attack him.


Yes, Mr. Willows is staying at his club, out by Miller’s Woods.


He’d like you to join him there, for a uh, a late night drink & perhaps a sandwich.

Jesse felt his heart racing as he looked at the man. It was evident that the guy knew exactly what Mr. Willows was asking, and it sure as hell wasn’t for a drink or bite to eat. He almost giggled at the man’s obvious discomfort, as he thought about it.

It is late, but hell, why not.

Uh, yes, uh, Mr. Willows has uh, asked me to drive you out, and naturally return you here, uh, however, uh

However, what?

He has uh, has suggested given that the club is a fair distance from here, perhaps you might consider staying the night. There are guest rooms available, and he has taken the liberty of reserving one for you.

There was a bit of a flicker in the man’s eyes, a quick glance too, as he almost seemed to be checking him out. The idea of going to some fancy club, and spending the night certainly was a quick mood changer. He realized that Mr. Willows was a resourceful man, as well as more well heeled than he had at first thought.

Miller Woods was well known in the area. It was in a very remote part of the County, and was private land too. Very chic and very exclusive, the place boasted what it called a ‘club’ though it was more of a hotel, tucked away from prying eyes. The place had its own small security detail, that made sure only those who were members, or invited guests gained access to the grounds.

No one was able to just drive up, or in. It was all rather impressive really, as he realized the man was waiting for his answer.

Uh yeah, yeah that would be fine, I’ll uh, just give me a few minutes, to throw some stuff together.

Certainly. I’ll be out by the car, when you are ready Sir.

Jesse couldn’t help but grin. The idea of being called ‘sir’ was so unusual that he felt like laughing out loud, but thought better of it, as he tried to act like it was all so normal. While he wanted to race back to his room, like a teenager getting ready for his first date, he managed to control it. Still he could feel his heart racing, as he made his way back, until he heard the front door close, knowing the driver had gone to wait for him by the car.

At the sound of the door closing, he broke out into a mad dash for his room, feeling more like fourteen than twenty eight. Throwing open the door to his room, he ran around picking out a nice shirt, some clean shorts, and two pairs of freshly laundered pants. Kicking off his shoes, he quickly got out of his current pants, to put on a fresh pair, wondering if he should change his shorts too.

Grinning, he thought maybe Mr. Willows was one of those who appreciate the scent of a man, who worked for a living, rather than some pampered pansy.

A new toothbrush, still in its package got tossed into the overnight bag, along with the box of Condoms he had by his bed. He had no idea what Mr. Willows had in mind, but he’d be damned if he was caught unprepared. The bottle of lubricant went as well, but he stopped short of adding a few of his ‘toys’ to the bad. After all, it was only conjecture that Mr. Willows was seeking more than what they had begun, a few weeks back.

Even the memory of how that could have been so much more, until she ruined it, no longer made him angry. He tossed that part off, feeling excited, as he took one last look around the room. Everything was a mess, but he kept glancing around, seeing if there was anything he should grab, but decided not.

Quickly he made his way to the door, grabbing his jacket as he flew outside. Slamming the door he fumbled with the keys, until he heard the lock slide home, then he turned and headed towards the car out in front. His heart skipped several beats, as he stared at the large white limo, and the man standing by the rear door. The soft purr of the car’s motor only adding to his sense of disbelief.

The drive to Miller Woods, then to the club itself, seemed like it was taking forever. He felt so nervous, and kept checking his reflection out. Not typical for him, yet he couldn’t help but feel excited. He had though so much about Mr. Willows these last few weeks, ever since that brief meeting. Maybe he was setting himself up for a huge disappointment.

Maybe he had read too much in the old man’s eyes that one time, or maybe it was all, just in his head? He could feel the sweat on his forehead, feel the itchiness of it on the palms of his hand, yet deep down, he really did believe that Mr. Willows was the best prospect yet.

The ache in his groin was different than when he knew he was going to get it on with someone special. It felt harder, more intense of an ache, that made him squirm on the leather seats. Every now and then he noticed the driver’s eyes peering back at him, through the rear view mirror.

It was all so strange, and yet he had worked around rich people all his life. They were the ones who could afford his landscaping services, and so far he had done quite well. He was surprised though, that he hadn’t noticed that the Willows were a bit more well off, than he had first thought.

They obviously didn’t flaunt it, and he wondered if that was due to him, her, or both of them? Somehow he just didn’t see her being the type to hold back, without someone else forcing it. Yet, he had to admit, she really wasn’t like others, in many respects. Course he still couldn’t forgive her for interrupting his fun, but it looked like it was merely a momentary setback.

That naturally brought him back to the moment, and his nervousness. He couldn’t help but wonder too, about Mr. Willows. After all it was late, and the guy was 72 years old. Still, he really hadn’t looked anywhere close to that age, so maybe it went just beyond looks? After all, the man had said he had been in the Military, so maybe he knew how to conserve his energy? Maybe he had kept up his physical training?

Now that would be fun, to see who had more stamina, him or Mr. Willows, though he wasn’t about to put himself to the test. He had a sneaky hunch that the old guy was a lot fitter, than even he was. Just thinking of it going on for hours, had him fully aroused. So much so, he hadn’t noticed they were at the main house, and the driver was nearly at the door. He felt the cool night breeze, hoping he had remembered to fill the humidifier in the green house. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember as he was too preoccupied with being able to see him again.

Not many of his past ‘affairs’ had made him so nervous, or anxious either. Never had he ever questioned his own abilities to please, yet now as he entered the wide foyer of the main room, he felt worried. The surroundings were so opulent, they impressed him, and worried him.

Everything was so different, the way they looked at him, as he entered. From the old doorman who sort of nodded and bowed to him, like he was some Prince come to visit, to the younger man dressed in a crisp pin stripe suit. The man looked at him, and indicated for a bellhop to take the small bag from the driver, and informed him that Mr. Willows was in the Solarium, waiting for him. Another bellhop appeared, to show him the way, and just like that, he had entered a whole new world.

He passed from rich dark wood, to a more modern look, as he saw the huge panes of glass approaching. It must be the Solarium, as his feet made no noise, as the bellhop never moved a hair, either way but straight ahead. It reminded him of some lonely walk to one’s own doom, or to unexpected pleasure. Strange how his mind was conjuring all sorts of things, some of them rather erotic.

Jesse could feel his body reacting, to the surroundings, to the unexpected summons, as well as to the manner in which it had been delivered. No phone call, just a messenger, with an implied invitation, again upping the excitement. Mr. Willows knew how to milk things, as the bellhop stopped before the large dark colour glass doors. Stepping to one side, he opened one of the massive doors, allowing a warm and scented flow of air to hit him square in the face. Jesse couldn’t quite place the fragrance, but knew it was from an orchid.

Moving inside, he felt overwhelmed. The scent of exotic flowers, the warm air, and the stars glittering overhead, the only real light in the room. It was impressive as hell as he moved past some tall trees, growing from out of the floor. The perfume of different orchids made his nostrils flare, as he spotted the crackling flames further into the room.

Looking back, he noticed how the trees hid the forward area from anyone walking in, and even if they walked past the huge glass panels, the glass was one way. No one could see in, and he felt his pulse quicken as he moved closer, to see the dim shape of a man, seated in a deep red leather arm chair.

The man stood up, revealing his trim figure, and the light from the fireplace made him look like some God Like creature. Jesse felt his heart flutter a bit, as the man turned to look at him. He was dressed in a deep red smoking jacket, a pair of dark trousers with a light color shirt, open just at the neck.

I see you are looking a bit hungry, again.

Jesse laughed, as he could see the man’s eyes staring right as his crotch, knowing his pants were well tented by the hard on inside. It was no different than when Mr. Willows had approached him in the kitchen.

I am still growing, I need my nourishment.

Don’t we all, don’t we all.

There was no mistaking his real meaning. Mr. Willows indicated for Jesse to come closer, to take the other seat. As he moved in closer, he saw the tall glass of milk, next to a plate with a large plate of cold cuts, just like the one’s he had that afternoon. He smiled as he sat down, looking over at the man, who beamed down at him.

Sitting down, he couldn’t help but reach down, and adjust the hard pole inside. As he did, he noticed how Mr. Willows stood perfectly still, his body rigid, as he watched the hand move the hard lump off to one side. It was like before, if not even more arousing. As he looked at the plate, he realized, the setting was perfect, and he grabbed the glass of milk first, slowly bringing it to his face, gradually tilting his head back.

Jesse could feel the eyes on him, as he let the milk trickled down his throat, his Adam’s apple bopping, as the cool milk made its way down. He let a bit dribble out from the corners of his mouth, not bothering to wipe it away. He heard the sudden intake of breath, as he let the glass move from his lips, his head still tilted back. His arm moved to one side, clutching the glass as he turned his face, to stare up at the man.

I do enjoy my milk, are you a milk man?

He saw how the man’s face lightened up, how his muscles near his jaw twitched, as he knew exactly what Jesse was talking about. His eyes were so bright, as they watched Jesse move to put the glass of milk down, as the hand moved past his crotch. They widened as he spread his legs outwards, making him slouch a bit into the rich leather back of the chair.

But naturally, milk is such a refreshing beverage, well worth enjoying like any fine wine.

They just looked at each other, both of them knowing exactly what the other was wanting, was willing to do. As he looked at the older man, he knew that his little fantasy notion of seeing who had the more stamina, was about to be put to the test.

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Clearing the Air (2)

Clearing the Air

By Ian Kovnats (Gaystoryman)

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (2)

Jeff felt his resentment, his anger, as he glared up at Mike. How dare he, come here and act like he was the wronged party? He was the one who had shouted, who had thrown a fucking hissy fit, not him. He had tried to talk to him, to explain it, but it was Mike who hadn’t listened, who hadn’t wanted to understand.

If that’s what you want, I didn’t come all this way to fight with you.

Yeah? Right, what, you figured you’d come here to make sure I knew how sick you think I am?

No, I uh, look Jeff, I said some shit I shouldn’t, and when you left, well, can’t we talk?

Nothing to talk about, you think I am some nut case, or worse, I think you made it clear how you felt.

Oh, and like you never said shit you regretted later?

Well, yeah, but not…

Not what? Like when you thought my Mom was having an affair? You called her a slut, remember that?

Fuck, I was thirteen, what did I know?

Yeah well, I didn’t hit you, didn’t call you out, did I?

No, but this isn’t about someone else, it is about me, us, it’s not the same, besides you aren’t thirteen anymore

I know how old I am, not to sure about you, though.

What’s that supposed to mean? Another crack about…

It means, get over it, and stop acting like you are thirteen, and move your fucking ass over, so I can sit down.

Jeff felt his mouth open, his jaw drop as he stared up at Mike. He could still see those accusing eyes, from earlier, but there was something else there. It was like, he wasn’t about to him it, or anything like that. Just that, well he was also determined, that he wasn’t about to leave.

He rather wished he would, but as he thought it, he felt foolish. It was Mike, after all. They had been through a lot of shit together, like when his mother did seem to be having an affair. Course it had been nothing like that, but still, he had said some pretty shitty things back then. Mike had been hurt too, but he was right, he never did lash out at him, or end their friendship over it.

He shuffled over, and watched as Mike slid down to sit next to him. He could smell his scent, that cologne that he always wore, mingled with a bit of sweat, but it still, was, well Mike. It was him, just as sitting here now was, how they were, well used to be.

In an odd way, he felt rather elated too. To think that Mike had known where to find him, had known he would be here, meant something. It meant a lot actually, as he stared down at his dusty runners, afraid to turn his head, afraid to see those eyes glaring at him, as they had back at Mike’s place. He couldn’t handle that, not just yet.

Yet, what was weird, was how he wanted to turn, to look at Mike. At the same time, he also found himself wondering, what did Mike’s crotch look like, if it was full, or not. It was like he had thought earlier, that he had missed out on so many good images, that he was trying to compensate for missing out. One more reason to stay focused on his feet, to not look.

As much as he had the urge to look, he kept his eyes averted, as he tried to figure out what it was, that Mike wanted. Did he come to apologize, or did he come to lash out some more at him?

Why did you, why did you come here?

To find you

Yeah, but why?

How long we been friends Jeff? Eleven or Twelve years?


That’s why, 12 years is a long time to be friends, to just, well, end it like this.

Didn’t sound like it earlier.

Yeah well, you rather dumped some heavy shit on me, out of the blue. How would you have reacted?

I don’t know, I wouldn’t have called you sick, or that other crap.

He could feel the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, as he spoke. He could hear Mike’s breathing too, how he was trying to keep himself cool, to not get overly excited. It was odd, how he could know how Mike could be, how he could hear his chest rise and fall, & know what Mike was trying to do.

In so many ways, they were more like brothers, than just best friends. Mike knew how he was, how he did get into moods, and how he’d come here. Strange, but he never realized how often he would have one of his moods, and take off, yet Mike always showed up. And it was pretty soon after he had gotten here, too. Like he had known that something was wrong, had known where to go, to find him.

He had gotten used to that too, which maybe is why he wound up here. He had been hoping that once more, Mike would just show up, and here he was. Just as he had subconsciously hoped for.

Maybe not, but come on Jeff, what did you expect me to do? Throw my arms around you?

No, but you, I mean, what you said, it hurt, still does.

Okay, fair enough, I said some shitty things, but can you see it from my side? I mean you walk in to my bedroom, I am still half naked, and you tell me you are Gay? Like come on dude, you could have waited till I was dressed.

I guess, I just, I mean I am so used to just walking in, and I, I didn’t notice, I mean, uh, that.

Like I am supposed to believe that?


Why? I mean why the fuck should I?

Because, shit man, because I say so, because well, like I was too scared about what I wanted to say, I never was thinking of, well looking.

Yeah, I guess, sort of figured that out, afterwards.

I never, I mean I never did think of you that way.

He couldn’t keep on staring at his feet, and he moved his head, to turn and look over at Mike. His eyes seemed to not be listening to his mind, as they stared first at Mike’s exposed crotch, and then quickly moved up to look at his face.

Jeff felt his heart quicken, as he found himself staring into those dark eyes, that tanned face. He could see the lips were being tightly held, the eyes a bit narrowed, as his face lifted up to look back.

Uh huh.

It’s true.

Shit man, you just checked me out.

I uh, I mean, oh fuck it Mike, that’s different, least, it wasn’t by choice.

Oh what, your eyes are being controlled by some Alien force, give me a break.

No, it is just, I mean, I don’t know what the fuck I mean, so I checked you out first, it wasn’t like it was for long.

and that makes it okay?

Look, you came here looking for me, it’s a Gay thing, I guess.

What, you don’t know?

No, okay? I don’t fucking know, I mean Christ, you think I been sucking cocks for my whole life? I suck at it, just like I such at dicking a chick, okay? Happy now?

Jeff turned away, the tears were rolling down his face, as he realized just how fucked up he was. Maybe he wasn’t Gay, though he doubted it. He did check out Mike, even now, he was thinking of how good the guy looked, in the faded jeans, the long lanky legs. Sure wasn’t the thoughts of some frustrated straight guy, that was certain.

He sighed, as he stared out, looking over at the trees to his right, the field in front, but he kept his face from going left, to stare at Mike again. He knew, if he did, that his eyes would glance, would look down, out of instinct, out of some natural impulse.

you have done it with guys?


and it was bad?

sort of

then what, I mean what makes you think you are queer? If you aren’t good at it, maybe it’s because you aren’t supposed to be.

maybe, fuck Mike, I don’t know, it is just…

just what?

you don’t want to know.

yeah, yeah I do Jeff

Jeff turned around, and his eyes went straight to Mike’s face, where he didn’t see any anger, any hatred, as he had earlier in the day. For a fleeting moment, he thought that Mike really did care, that it wasn’t just an act. But the moment past, as he felt his own doubts, his own fears, once more taking hold of his thoughts.

Fine, I get a fucking boner, thinking about guys, looking at naked pictures of guys sucking each other off, okay? I get hard as fucking hell, but not when it comes to looking at boobs, or their cunt, okay? Satisfied now?

This time, it was Mike who averted the eyes first. He turned away, to stare out at the field, to say nothing, as he thought about it all. Jeff could feel his mind working, could feel how he was thinking about what he had said. Jeff didn’t turn away, for long.

Looking now, he could see how handsome Mike really was, as he thought about why Jeff thought he was Gay. He could see the thin nose, how it suited his long angular face. The way his jaw hung, how his eyelashes were fine, not bushy like some guys. He studied every detail, as he saw how Mike’s forehead wrinkled up, as he thought.

you serious?

uh huh.

So, you never got a boner, even when in the same room with a naked chick? How did you, I mean you have uh…

Yeah, I’ve fucked a few, and I got hard, by thinking of other things.

Other things? Like what?… shit, never mind I think I get it.

The silence just fell between them, and he turned away again, not sure what was going through Mike’s mind. Normally he could tell, but he wasn’t going to stare, to try and figure it out. Last thing he wanted was for Mike to think he was being checked out again. Yet, the idea did fascinate him, as he could feel his own dick stirring a bit, as he thought about it.

Mike wasn’t stupid, and Jeff was certain that he’d ask him. He didn’t know what he would say, or if he would answer him. It was bad enough, that Mike wasn’t comfortable with him being Gay, so he sure as fuck wouldn’t be happy knowing that those ‘other things’ were sometimes about him.

In all honesty, it was mostly that one summer, and okay, few other times, when he was really desperate to get it hard, to not let his date figure it out. Besides, girls could handle it better, if they figured he had been cheating, than if he was Gay. Strange how that worked, but then sex wasn’t what he had ever expected. Even now, at eighteen, it just wasn’t what he had thought.

Wasn’t like he had any real experiences to use, or uncluttered views to rely on, but he had enough close encounters, to sort of know. Like, he knew that Mike was cut, that he was rather thick all the way from his groin to the tip, but as to how thick, well that was just a guess.

No way he’d ask, though he wished he knew. It would have helped him out a few times, and it would certainly have made some of his more private moments, a bit more memorable. Yet, as much as he wanted to know, as desperate as he was to not tell him, he knew, deep inside, that it would all come out.

He could feel it happening, feel Mike’s anger being turned on him, once more. Jeff knew it would be worse, than earlier. Hell, he could feel his muscles tighten, feel his body almost flinch, because inside, he knew Mike would lash out at him, that he’d strike out at him. Wasn’t like they hadn’t had any real fights, just not physical one’s.

Sure they had pushed each other, out of anger, but nothing in their past, had been quite like this moment was shaping up to be. He could still feel how hard Mike’s hands were, as they had pushed him on the chest, during one of their few tiffs. He could still see how his face had grown taut, how his eyes seemed like they were spitting fire, much like how they were earlier this morning.

Jeff felt trapped, as if the worse day of his life, was only going to get even more worse. He hated this feeling, but he couldn’t help it. Deep down, he knew he had to tell Mike, to try and explain it to him. He could feel him next to him, smell him, which was driving him nuts too. The way his emotions kept flying all over the place.

One second he was afraid of coming to blows, then in another flash of a millisecond, he was thinking of how good it would feel to touch him, to feel his body on his, even if it was in the midst of a fight. Then there was the wild thought, that maybe they could work through it, that maybe in his way, Mike didn’t mind being the object of Jeff’s desires.

Problem for him, was how did he say what he felt, without making it worse?

so uh, how many guys? I mean you have done it with guys, haven’t you?

yeah, but, not many.

how come?

it’s not easy, finding guys, I mean, well, you may uh think they are, but uh, you can’t be certain.

I guess, never thought about it, least not that uh, I was ever, shit, see, this is what pisses me off, I don’t know what to fucking say.

say whatever you want, you didn’t have much trouble getting the words out this morning.

Mike just glared at him, and he right back at him. No way was he going to make it easy for the guy, even if he did seem like he was trying to make up for it. He could still hear those words, still feel their sting as they hit him. His own face was flushed, as he stared at Mike, who finally lowered his eyes, and stared down at his feet, then glance up at Jeff, then back to his feet.

guess not

why are you here Mike? Taking pity on the fag?

Okay, guess I deserved that, it is just, fuck man, I never had a clue. Besides, it isn’t easy to think, to uh, well, to think of all we talked about, that it was, well just an act, on your part.

an act? No, no it wasn’t that, maybe I wasn’t interested in hearing about your dates, or talking about those I went on, but it wasn’t an act.

why didn’t you just, tell me? Why now?

I am leaving to College, I don’t know, I mean, I really don’t know why, just that, well, I had to, before I left.

What, you figure I’d walk in on you and some stud up at college?

Maybe, you did say you’d come up and visit.

yeah, guess, still, I don’t get it Jeff, what is it that turns you on about a guy? I mean, isn’t it, well, just seems like it’d be…

dirty, awkward, what?

different, don’t, look, you and me, we go way back, can’t we, can’t we just talk about this?

yeah, I suppose, but… shit Mike, you make it so friggin hard at times.


He saw the expression on Mike’s face, and he couldn’t help but begin to laugh. It was funny, as he saw how flustered his friend was, not sure if he was talking about getting a hard on, or about making conversation difficult. It was funny, though he did feel a bit tight around the crotch, and as he chuckled, he also noticed how Mike’s eyes kept going down to his crotch, then back up, looking rather confused.

It only made him laugh a bit louder, and for a second he thought he had gone too far, as Mike’s face grew redder, his brow furled in that angry look, but then he too some the comedy in all, and chuckled as well, leaning back against the tree. At the same time, his legs spread out a bit further, and Jeff couldn’t help but look.

He stopped laughing, because he was certain that Mike’s crotch was showing a bulge, almost as if somehow he was excited, or at least getting that way. Looking up, he stared into his friends face, wondering, feeling rather confused. No way could a straight guy like Mike get turned on by some queer talking about a stiffy, could he?

Looking back up at Mike, he saw his cheeks were flushed, and his eyes were everywhere, but looking back. It didn’t make sense, because he did know Mike was straight, still, the signs, could his gaydar be that far off? Hell, he didn’t even know when they really were gay, like that guy Mathew who had to come straight out and ask if he wanted a blow job.

That had been freaky really, and he wasn’t sure if it had been a put on, least not until they had their pants down at the ankles. So could he have missed the signs with Mike? Could he have been that wrong?

uh, without you going ballistic, can uh, I mean, fuck, can I uh…

am I like you? Shit no.

Jeff saw how Mike’s face quickly grew firm, but he didn’t lash out, though the way he had said no was pretty convincing. Still, why the boner? Christ, why was he even here, trying to talk about it, but not?

Then, I mean…

Why did I come here, instead of just leaving things the way they were this morning?


I guess because we have been friends, because, well, I don’t know, this stuff, this being Gay, you really sure? I mean it isn’t just because of, well,

Turning away slightly, Jeff stared out at the field, wondering what to say. Was it because he was attracted to guys, or was it like Mike thought, because he hadn’t done very good in the girlfriend department? Then too, he hadn’t exactly done so hot with guys either, but he still felt excited thinking about them, not girls. It wasn’t something he could put into words, yet as he looked at Mike, he felt rather warm, and maybe that was the answer?

Yeah I am sure, I don’t know if I can explain it, but it is like, when you see a girl, that looks a certain way, you feel hot? Right?


well, I get that way around certain guys, and well, look, remember what’s her name, Janice or Janet?

Janet, and yeah, not like I can forget that.

Exactly, I mean the sex, you didn’t exactly do great, least the way you told me, but that didn’t stop you from getting horny when you saw other girls, that fit your uh, tastes, right?

True, but that’s different.

Why? Just because I uh, because I haven’t done it right, or was like how you were with Janet, doesn’t stop me from being horny when around certain guys, girls just never really did it for me, not like guys do.

He didn’t know if Mike would understand it, because he really didn’t, least not so he could explain. Still, the more he thought about it, the more it made sense to him. It wasn’t like he woke up one morning, wanting dick. It had always been there, but he just never knew it. Not sure he did now, other than it felt right.

It did excite him, to think of guys, to think of taking their clothes off, of seeing their dick spring out from under their shorts. That kind of thrill, never seemed to happen when thinking of girls, so it wasn’t his lack of success with them.

so, uh, am I your type?


am I your type, or you like the kind like, what was his name, Henry?

No, Henry isn’t my type, and I guess, yeah you are the type.

You uh, you think of me that way?


yeah, truth.

I have, do, oh shit Mike, I did, but I try not to, I mean, well, I can’t help it, you are the kind of guy I’d like to be with, in uh, in that way.

what do you mean “did”?

okay, do maybe is the right word, just that, fuck, I try not to, I mean yeah you have the looks I like, all that stuff, but we are friends, I wouldn’t trade that for anything, not even sex.

It was nearly impossible, but he couldn’t turn away. He had to face him, to let him know that he meant it, that it wasn’t about sex, that he like Mike for him, and that he could control himself. He really didn’t want to lose his friendship, if he could avoid it.

Yet at the same time, he couldn’t deny how looking at him made his body react. He couldn’t help but realize that he had always wanted Mike both, as a friend, and as someone to have sex with. He couldn’t deny those feelings, control them, maybe, but damn it was hard.

so what, you get off thinking of me, naked or something?

Inspiration from BoyFunk


( Click image for larger view )


On The Game

On The Game

By Ian Kovnats (Gaystoryman)

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (0)

Donny was one of those ‘golden haired boys’ that seemed to always be the centre of attention. It wasn’t like he sought it, but his looks, his winning smile, all added up to a package that made many drool, and seek him out. It didn’t matter if it was out shopping, or down at the local bar, the guys & girls all stopped and stared.

He didn’t really mind it, least most of the time. Though lately he was beginning to tire of it, specially as the summer wore on, and the more seasoned visitors were flocking to the beaches, to where he tended the grill. It was his spot, ever since he had been sixteen, some five years now.

The owner of the resort liked to have beautiful boys & girls working the outside stands, leaving the inside to the more professional staff, the more adept workers who could sell an expensive bottle of wine with dinner, to a family of five just out for an evening. Though Donny had surprised him, by how well he tended his own little turf on the beach.

On his days off, business was nearly 50% less than those days he worked it. Even when the weather was the shits, he was able to attract a lot of business. Course he knew, as did the owner, that it wasn’t his smile, or the quality of the food he fried up on the grill. It was him, how even in the rain, his shirt was always open, off totally on the hot days, where he showed off his build, his firm pecs, and flat washboard stomach.

The close cropped blond hair, the angular face, with the piercing eyes, all made him the total package, that seemed to attract a lot of customers. Course, he didn’t ignore them, and always could remember names. Even if they only showed up for a week, each year, he had a knack of recalling their names, their tastes even.

It had made him popular with the Boss, and with the repeat customers. His tips rivalled those in the big dining room, specially on hot weekends. It wasn’t just the tips though, that had made his summer job lucrative. It had helped keep him going during the off months.

People were surprised to learn that he was going to college, that his favourite drink was a mix of vegetables, not hard liquor. Oh sure, he smoked the odd joint, but drugs and him weren’t on friendly terms. He didn’t like not knowing what he was doing, and he could nurse a single drink, at a bar, for nearly the whole night. Specially when he was on the prowl for more than a dance or two.

It irked him too, that people assumed he was the typical Blond Adonis. Sure, he took care of his body, worked out every morning too. Wasn’t always easy, but he did his jogging, went to the gym once or twice each week, and did a lot of swimming, indoors and out. He liked how he looked, as did others. Still it bugged him, that they couldn’t see the mind too, that was a good one.

He didn’t just skate by in School, he worked hard at his studies, made way above average grades, and when people heard he had a partial scholarship to college, for his grades, they were always stunned, shocked even. And that was beginning to piss him off. Donny didn’t mind the attention, after all, it paid for his books, his self indulgence treats, now and then, but he was tired of just being an object of desire.

Even when he first got ‘on the game’, as the Brits would call it, he wasn’t your run of the mill player. He had his standards, and after all those years of being on the ‘game’, he still could say that he had kept to those standards. He was selective, and his record was clean. No one at work, had an inkling of how he made his money. Most assumed he had some job elsewhere in town, during the off season. No one suspected that he spent the off season, working out, studying.

They just didn’t give him much credit for being more than just a pretty face. Even his boss had sat him down, pretending to be a big brother type, or father type, and suggested he should start thinking of his future. Man was he surprised when Donny told him that he was majoring in Economics.

Even his best friend, Todd, didn’t seem to get it. Donny had known Todd for ages, ever since they were kids playing in the playground during recess. Yet even Todd didn’t know that there was a lot more to Donny, than his looks. All he knew was that Donny had been popular in school, had all the girls following his every move. In fact, Todd had gotten a few ‘cast offs’ though Donny knew that was simply for show.

The one thing Todd did know, was that Donny liked dick. He had been Donny’s first, way back when. Not like they had done much, just what most kids at that age, but it hadn’t ended for them. In fact, he still saw Todd on odd occasion, to just get it on. To not have to worry about who to please, or have it all detailed beforehand. With Todd, Donny could just be himself, and always, Todd seemed satisfied.

Granted, last year had been tough, as Todd had a crush on him. It had made for some tense moments, specially when Todd seemed upset that Donny wouldn’t be there to celebrate his twentieth birthday. He wanted to, but he didn’t think Todd would understand why he couldn’t. And that too, was pissing him off.

Okay, so he slept with people for cash. Call it what you want, being a hustler, a hooker, a slut, or whatever, but it paid his bills, and at the same time, he got off. Maybe at times it wasn’t as much fun as he had hoped, but Todd would be surprised at just who some of his clients were. They weren’t all old men or women. Some of them were, well quite attractive and youthful too.

Working at the Resort, he rubbed shoulders with the rich, not just the fashionably well off. There were some high rollers that stayed there, and their offspring. That was the perk, that he rather enjoyed. It was one thing to satisfy some old codger, another when the guy was hot, and able to do more than just grunt & sweat.

Guys like Todd, they didn’t understand that in his line of work, it wasn’t just the sex. It was how you looked after your client, how you made them feel, no matter how repulsive they might be. Sort of like, you didn’t give a guy a raw burger, if he wanted it well done. You had to deliver, but you had to make sure they were enjoying what you were serving.

Just like you would know that some hated pickles & onions, so you threw some sliced tomatoes alongside, or a leaf of lettuce. It didn’t mean much, but over the long run, it showed you were interested. Not like he cared what they ate, but it did get repeat business. Selling your ass wasn’t really all that different.

You learned what your client wanted, whether it was to have their dick held tightly, while you moaned as their pole throbbed, or if you licked your lips when staring at them, as they grabbed hold of your dick. It was about putting on a show, even if they had rolls of fat for a belly, which you were supposed to lay on top of.

Everyone assumed that those who sold their asses, did it because they liked sex, that they had no other talents, so they sold their body. He had other talents, was a good short order cook, a good salesmen too, but selling his ass, paid a damn site more. And it was the money, that had been his reason. Not for drugs, like others claimed.

It pissed him off, that people assumed that those in his profession, did it out of desperation, out of a need to pay for their drug habit or that they were just too stupid to earn money any other way. He hated that, and yet he wasn’t about to tell Todd, or any of his other friends, about his profession.

You could talk about anything, like of how you got the clap, or how you don’t use Condoms. It was like not much was off limits, no matter how personal it was. Like his friend Joey, who preferred to fuck guys without a condom. Most of the guys he knew, insisted on Condoms, and most ragged on Joey too, for not being more safe. Yet no one looked down on him for it.

No one talked about him being incapable of loving another person, because he liked bareback sex. Yet when they talked about hustlers, it was like what they did, just precluded them from being boyfriends, lovers. It was like what they did, was the lowest of things to do. He didn’t understand that, because in some form or another, everyone sold their ass.

Like Joey, what did it matter what a guy did before you met? Okay, maybe in Joey’s case it did matter, simply because of health stuff, but unlike Joey, he had regular tests done at the clinic. Hell, Todd only had two HIV tests since he’d known him, while he had one every three months, along with other tests for things like Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, and such. Joey didn’t, nor had Trace or even Willie bothered to have any tests, even though they seemed to have a new sex partner every weekend.

Sure many in his profession were careless, were high risks for disease. But they were the strung out ones, not his kind of Hustler. He charged a lot, and his clients expected some degree of safety, which he obliged. Now, Joey, well he didn’t charge, but he didn’t tell his partners about his penchant for bareback sex. If they wanted a ride with a condom, he didn’t object, but then he didn’t tell them he liked doing it without, either. So who was more risky to be with? Him or Joey?

Yet they all figured all Hustlers were like that. Just as he knew that a lot of guys who didn’t use Condoms, did get tested. So he didn’t judge all like Joey, so why should they judge all Hustlers like the one’s they read about? Why should they assume that they were all just in it to get the cash, to score drugs with.

Okay, maybe he didn’t know a lot of guys that were in his line of work, given he wasn’t the kind who stood on a street corner, looking for a date. Still, even they deserved some consideration. It wasn’t all fun and games. He had a few clients that he wished he didn’t have to service, which is how he looked at it. He provided a service, one he was good at.

His customers were varied, with one exception. They had the money to pay, without blinking an eye. Like old man Winters. In all honesty, he had to say that the guy was repulsive, in his eyes. He wasn’t just fat, he was obese, but that didn’t mean he deserved any less service, than maybe Joshua Blonden the Third did.

Ken Winters was about 60, and he had to weigh at least 350 if not more. He had thin hair on top, and he was constantly wiping his face, as he perspired a hell of a lot. He wasn’t tall either, so his weight was a lot more obvious, and his legs were almost the size of Donny’s waist. Still, he was willing to pay, and he paid good.

So why shouldn’t he get the same service that he gave to Joshua? In some ways, Ken was nicer, because he wasn’t arrogant, he didn’t believe he was entitled, and yes, he knew he was fat. Joshua on the other hand, had it all. His family were loaded, and they paid for his time at the resort, and it wasn’t like Joshua had a brain.

The guy knew how to order the good stuff, how to indulge himself with treats, but he never worried about the cost, nor about those who waited on him, or who he had around him. It had taken a whopping wad of cash for Donny to agree to service him, much more than anything he had ever charged Ken.

Yet if he had told that to Todd, he wouldn’t understand. All he’d see was some fat old man being naked, while Donny sucked him off. He wouldn’t see how the guy looked so happy afterwards, how his eyes would light up and how he would laugh, feeling like he had just been given a super gift. Todd wouldn’t see that, before making up his mind, before judging Donny.

And by the same token, he’d accept him doing Joshua, who had a good body, who wasn’t fat or even old. He would accept him taking money from him, because he was ‘acceptable’ in Todd’s eyes. He wouldn’t even think of it as paying, but more of simply Joshua being a generous sort, who knew that Donny could use the money more than say a new pair of pants.

In the back of his own mind, he knew that the sex with Ken was difficult. That he had to conjure up all sorts of mental images, so he could do his job, so he could suck on that tiny dick, that was buried under the rolls of fat. Course, he knew too, that if Ken ever lost that weight, that so called tiny dick wouldn’t be so tiny. It simply wouldn’t be hidden.

On the other hand, Joshua was not well endowed. Maybe that was why he was such a prick, not just that he got whatever he wanted. Maybe it was that he didn’t know how to compensate for having a below average cock, by learning how to touch a person, how to arouse them and yes, even satisfy them.

If anything, Ken was more fun. Least with him, you could tell he was enjoying Donny’s work. How he would moan, how he would cut off his cries, and you could look up at him, and just see him biting down on his lower lip, as you licked at the cock head, or flicked the tongue across his balls. You could see it, in how his fat jiggled, as his chest heaved up and down, while you held his cock in your fingers.

With Joshua, he wasn’t vocal at all. In fact, Donny would call him pretty much a dead fuck. He did like a bit more servicing than Ken, and he paid dearly for every bit of it, but if he was to be honest, he worked perhaps harder to please Joshua, than he did Ken. Sure, he had to conjure up more mental pictures when with Ken, but he had to do more physically, for Joshua. It was a trade off.

It was the little things too, that people like Todd never understood. Things like how a client expected not just certain sexual acts, but how they were to be performed. Joshua was very particular. Now most guys named Joshua, you could call them Josh, and it would be fine, but not Mister Joshua Blonden the 3rd. Nope, it was Joshua, or Mister Blonden, and if you forgot, well, he was not a pleasant man about it.

Todd didn’t understand, that in cases like Joshua, if the guy wanted to be a prick, you pretty well had to take it. You couldn’t take him to court if he didn’t want to pay you, for calling him Josh, instead of Joshua. And he had tried that crap with Donny, but then Donny wasn’t a rookie either. Todd didn’t understand that at times you had to go out of character, to do or threaten to do things, you could never do, but the client had to believe you would, or it would all be for nothing. Todd just didn’t get that either, that it wasn’t just about spreading your legs, of taking some strange dick in your mouth.

Hell you could think you gave the client the best damn fuck in his entire life, and after you pulled out, you find the guy was bored, or he makes some comment, like ‘is that it? You charging me how much for that?’. There was a lot of negatives in his business, but no one seemed to grasp that little fact.

They didn’t get it, didn’t understand how guys like Joshua were not clients you really wanted, but they were more common than old man Winters. Sure you got some sweet hearts, but most were like Joshua. Demanding at best, darn right rude more likely. How he would lay there, while Donny had his legs up in the air, how he was dripping sweat, as he pounded his ass, yet when looking up at him, he would look bored, look like he wanted to read a book. Guys like Todd didn’t seem to understand the work involved, in seeing that kind of reaction, but not get distracted. To keep his dick hard, to keep his rhythm going, despite the bored glances, the disdain on his face.

Nor did he understand how it felt when you had done the deed, had satisfied them, to then be rushed out the door. To have them, wrap themselves up in a robe, and count out the rest of the money due, while glancing at the clock, trying to hurry you up in leaving. That too was a price a guy like him had to endure, to pay.

Oh they may come around, chat you up, buy you drinks, in an effort to get you to come home. Then would come the haggling, and then once the deal struck, it was like you were suddenly on a timetable. Get in, get naked, do it, then get the fuck out. That was how many did it, how it felt most of the time.

So yeah, when he had guys like Ken, who didn’t rush, who offered you the use of their shower, even an after sex drink, you appreciated it. Not because it was due, just that it was a rarity. Todd didn’t get that part of his life, nor would he understand it. He’d tell him that if it was that horrible, why do it? He just couldn’t get that many people did their jobs, because it paid what they wanted. They didn’t switch jobs, simply because their boss was a prick, or the people they had to deal with, were jerks.

Donny wanted a fine life, and he knew that in time, he could get that, with his career in Economics, but that was at least five years away from being started on. In the meantime, he knew that his looks would only last for so long, that he could make a lot of money now, to give him a real edge when he did finally get his degree, and head out into the world. Yet, somehow, he knew that Todd couldn’t or wouldn’t, understand that rationale.

It bugged him in a way that was becoming more noticeable too. He was snapping at Todd, and the others, too, because while they could easily dismiss guys who didn’t tell their partners they had been having unprotected sex, at the same time they nattered about how they could never date a hustler, for fear of him always cheating. Shit, it wasn’t like he did his clients just to get off, he did it for the cash, for the rewards.

Sure guys like Ken weren’t what most of his group would call desirable, though Joshua they all thought would be a good catch. In his mind, he’d been around both, seen how they were. Joshua was a self centered bitch, while Ken was nice. He respected Donny, and those who paid him any attention. He knew his negatives, and you could see how it hurt him too, how insensitive others were. So yeah, he paid for the sex, and frankly, it wasn’t a turn on for him, but he was nice. That had to count.

Yet at the same time, the sex with Joshua was nothing he’d write home about either. Sure he had a few, like that guy from the Cayman Islands, that would fly in for a few days, then jet off somewhere else. Every summer, he showed up, and he had become a regular too. And yes, he was loaded, knew it, but unlike Joshua, he didn’t lord it over everyone.

He was always in a hurry, but when he had enlisted Donny’s services, it never seemed like he was. He didn’t hurry him out the door right after he shot his load either. And he talked, and seemed to take an interest. Oh at first it was mostly about how did Donny like working at the resort, at his job at the refreshment stand. But it grew, as they got to know each other.

The sex wasn’t bad either, and for a man in his late forties, Mathew was pretty damn hot. His body was lean, not going to seed. His stomach was flat, not washboard flat, but close enough. His chest had a nice patch of hair, but because he could, it was trimmed. The hairs were never overly long or short. Plus he smelled nice, always fresh, no matter how hot it had been outside. He had that scent that just made you close your eyes and imagine a soft deserted island somewhere.

What surprised Donny was that he liked it up the ass. He loved to be pushed down onto the bed, to have his legs spread apart, then mounted quickly. He was a bit into the rough stuff, in that he didn’t want it easy. Maybe it was having to always be ordering people around, that it was a relief to not make the decisions. Plus, for a man his age, he had one tight ass. It was always fun to do him, to hear him moan, to hear him grit his teeth as he mounted him. To feel his cheeks clench as he drove his dick into him.

Yet when he had done him, when he had pounded his ass hard, till he was ready to shoot, it didn’t end with that. It wasn’t over when he pulled out, and ripped the condom off, to shoot his hot load across Mathew’s backside. To see how his spine seemed to stick out more, as each shot of his cum splattered across the back muscles, only made him feel like he was being enjoyed. The way his cheeks would tighten, as the cum spread across his back, as he leaned against him, smelling that scent mingled with sweat, with cum.

Then, rolling onto his own back, it wasn’t like Mathew got up, and reached for the wallet. He would roll over too, and usually lay a hand over Donny’s heaving chest. His fingers would lightly play with him, caress him, until he had calmed down, until the rush of his blood had returned to normal. It was then, that they’d talk, that he would ask him about things, about what classes he was hoping to take next semester. Never did it seem false, or phoney either. It was like he really did care, though Donny didn’t quite buy it. Still it was nice to be asked.

Still he doubted if Todd or the others would get it, would understand, how that was important to him. Sure, he could just as easily get up, dress, and leave, but this way, it felt less like business, less dirty. That too was gnawing at him, because he really didn’t think that what he did was dirty, or something to be ashamed of.

He worked hard for the money, and so what if it was about sex. Not like any of them had not done things, had sex, to get their way. Todd, had openly admitted to sleeping with one of their friends, to get a chance at being invited to a concert that he had tickets for. So like, how come that didn’t make him a hooker? He sold his ass, for some tickets. Least when he sold his ass, it was for a lot more than the price of some concert ticket.

But they wouldn’t get it. They’d all think he was somehow, unreliable, but it was a lot more than they were. He showed up, did his best, whether it was for guys like Ken or those like Joshua. He didn’t beg off, didn’t do just enough to get the cash, so he had nothing to be ashamed of.

He did what was expected of him, so how did that make him less than qualified for being a boyfriend, a lover? He did his best to please the other, that it wasn’t just about his enjoyment. In his books, that made him a good candidate for boyfriend, for lover. Yet guys like Todd thought otherwise. It made no sense.

Donny felt his shoulders sag, as he realized that he was simply trying to figure out why, at his age, he was still single. Why he had no boyfriends, least nothing that had become serious. Sure there had been the time last year with Todd, but then he had pulled back, afraid of how Todd would react, if he found out just what Donny did for his money.

Back then, it didn’t seem important, but as this last year moved on, it grew in importance. He knew he was feeling lonely, that he wanted someone to curl up with at night, to not be just there, as part of the service. Maybe that was why he had started accepting the odd sleep over client, the kind that paid big bucks, to wake up with him next to them in the morning?

Maybe he accepted guys like Ken, because he didn’t feel all that good about himself? That maybe he did it, as sort of punishment, for doing what everyone considered, the bottom of business? Strange, because being a hustler, was one of the oldest professions out there, which must mean it was in demand. So how come so many assumed only scum were hustlers? Why couldn’t good guys, like Todd, understand that he didn’t feel for his clients, that it was about simply giving them their monies worth?

Why did they assume it was a sexual perversion, or some addiction, that made him sell his ass? He did what he did, for the cash, not for the physical contact. Did a dentist open your mouth, because he liked smelling people’s breath? Did a person become a proctologist because they had a yen to stick their hands up people’s assholes? So why did they always assume you became a hustler, because of the sex?

Then too, there was that whole ‘golden boy’ crap. No one figured he had an original thought in his head, let alone that he could see beyond the next roll in the hay, or whatever. Donny opened his dresser drawer, rummaged inside, and then pulled out his bank book. He flipped it open, to stare at the tidy neat figures recorded. His eyes narrowed a bit, as he stared at the figures.

If he was so damn stupid, how come he had a bank balance with five figures? So much for being just a scattered brain blond. Not like any of his friends could boast having that kind of money. And some of them made a lot more than he did, or had families that paid a lot more of their expenses. He sighed, knowing that it wasn’t a comfort, he still wanted what seemed like, unattainable to guys like him, a lover.

Putting his bank book back under some shirts, he leaned back on his heels, to look at himself in the mirror. He could see what made people want him, to be near him, but just as he couldn’t see beyond the tanned skin, the frosted tips of his eyelashes from the sun, the pale pink lips, neither could they. He was more than just a hot body, looking for an easy fling. He had opinions on things, had values.

He knew how to make a guy cum super quick, though he didn’t use that trick. Instead he let his clients get their monies worth, he let them enjoy it. So why couldn’t other’s see that he was just as deserving of that? Maybe Ken was right, maybe he should think of giving it all up, of retiring and looking for someone to settle down with, but how could he?

See, that was the problem for him. If he did settle down, if he did find someone he wanted to be with for a lifetime, didn’t they deserve to know the truth about him, even if it was over with? Like Joey, he should be telling his dates, that he had unprotected sex with others, but he didn’t. So if he was upset about that, in Joey, how could he not tell his planned partner about his past?

And why should he have to give it up?

Why was it, that when it came to sex, even the so called liberals were as straight laced about it, as the tight assed bigots? He sighed, as he adjusted the beaded choker he had on, as he straightened a small lock of hair. He looked down, at the bronzed flesh of his chest, and pushed down some of his fine blond hairs. He adjusted his crotch, and licked his lips, then peered in closer, to check for any blemishes that might have popped up. Everything was in place, looked just right, as he reached down, to grab his keys.

With one last look in the mirror, he smiled, realizing that maybe he didn’t have a lover, right now, but at least he had money in the bank, and shortly would add to that total. He felt the stirring in his groin, felt his eight inch dick jerk a bit, and smiled. Screw Todd and the others. He was still the guy people followed, he was still the guy they dreamed of at night, some with cause.

After all, they had paid their money for it.

Dolph Lambert from Bel Ami


( click smaller photo for larger image )

Now appearing in French Kiss, by Bel Ami.


Remembering (2)


By Ian Kovnats (Gaystoryman)

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (2)

He could see them now, see Rob’s long blond hair and deep blue eyes sparkling, as he came around the truck front end, to grab a couple of back packs out of the truck bed. He tossed one to Trent, who almost missed it, still not sure what was happening. There were no bedrolls, no sleeping bags attached, but there was one huge cooler.

It took both of them to lug it out, to sling it between them, as Rob led the way towards the trees and the river. Trent didn’t mind following, as it had given him a chance to admire the tight fit of Rob’s jeans around his butt. He really did admire those firm cheeks.

Even when he would sleep over, he would enjoy running his hand over them, to feel their firm flesh, but he had never gone further. It just would have led to too many questions, which he’d have to answer. Cuddling, rubbing his crotch up into the back of Rob was one thing, doing more was, well, just never going to happen.

He had resigned himself to that, though deep down he knew he wouldn’t like it. Trent just couldn’t do more, or bring himself to do more or ask for more. It was enough that Rob would let him rub himself, even cum, which was more than he could expect.

Back then, you just didn’t blurt that kind of stuff out. You didn’t make it obvious, though Rob had to know. Still, he had it better than others. He wasn’t a target, wasn’t forced to live in pure torment like some of the others in school were. He couldn’t imagine himself surviving that crap, which is why he never said a thing. Oh it had turned his stomach to see, to watch but unlike Rob, he never took a stand. He never risked his position in the social pecking order, like Rob had.

No one thought either of them were, which suited him fine. He didn’t believe Rob was either, though at times he had dreamed about it, wishing in his sleep that he was. It wasn’t just that he had a great body, or a winning disposition. There was something about being near Rob, about talking with him, that made him feel special, made him feel safe.

Looking down now, all he could see was those firm cheeks leading the way through the forest. The small giggles as a branch would suddenly come flying back at Trent. One more reason why he enjoyed his time with Rob, he was always having fun. He could be serious, but it didn’t matter, the occasion, or the situation they would be in, Rob always found a way to make it fun, to find something to laugh at.

The hand squeezed his, as he thought about that short trek into the woods, to where they came out to a clearing. At first it didn’t seem much different, until he noticed the shadow of their tent. It was just like the one they used, and then it hit him. It was their tent, already set up and off to the side was a cleared path, stones built up and split logs already laid within the circle.

A bucket of water stood to the one side, and further off were several more already cut logs, ready for grabbing and tossing onto an open fire. He felt surprised, his mouth hung open as he stammered at the set up campsite, now knowing why he hadn’t been able to reach Rob all day. He had been here, getting his surprise ready.

No wood searching, no having to rush and put up the tent before the darkness overwhelmed them. It was all done and as they set the cooler down, Rob had turned to him and punched him in the arm.


Yeah, it’s great, so what’s in the cooler, booze?

Booze? Nah, can’t have you getting drunk, least not yet. Just some food, soda, and stuff.

Stuff? Like what?

You’ll find out, later. First let’s get the fire going, then how about a quick splash in the river, before it gets too dark?

He hadn’t caught it then, but he got it now. Looking down at Rob, he saw a hint of that grin, that little impish grin he had, when he had suggested the quick dip.

The fire had started quickly, and was already crackling & roaring as they headed down the path to the river’s bank. He once more following Rob, who seemed to enjoy leading, as if he liked to be watched from the backside. Trent had no objection to being behind either, and as they got to the river bank, he felt the cool breeze coming off the water.

Rob was already stripping, and taunting him to get a move on, before winter set in. He glowed in the soft twilight that filled the area, his skin looking paler than it really was. He saw how his arms moved, how they were already pushing his tight pants down, bending over to take them off, making his cheeks stick upwards, aimed at Trent, adding to Trent’s aroused state.

He couldn’t help himself, but he was long past feeling embarrassed about having a hard on around Rob. He too began to undress, thinking that the cold river water would erase his current state. As he pushed his pants down, his boner tenting his jockey shorts, Rob turned around to stare directly at it.

There was a strange glint in his eyes as he looked at Trent’s crotch, then he laughed, as he pushed his own shorts down, turning around to face Trent. His pubic hair a sort of shadow surrounding a huge stiff pole, the most beautiful dick he had ever seen. Whether in some video he had found, or some of the skin mags he had managed to get a hold of, Rob’s hard cock looked much better, bigger too.

He swallowed hard then, as Rob just laughed, and made his way to the water, with Trent finally moving up from the rear. His hard cock bouncing as he ran down the little slope towards the water’s edge. It was freezing cold, or so he had thought, but somehow it didn’t seem to erase his problem. Just seeing that cock, fully hard, was more powerful than the cold river water.

Then too, there was Rob and his closeness, to keep his mind focused on it as well. How he splashed, laughed at Trent. How they moved out a bit, swam around and trying to tag the other. He was certain that a few of those swings that hit his crotch weren’t by accident, but he just enjoyed the touch, afraid to say anything, in case it ruined the moment.

It was two kids, having fun, splashing and just being kids, despite their new age, that made them adults. It wasn’t like reaching the magic age suddenly made them serious, yet it felt different. Splashing, pushing and the odd touch, was different, was somehow more intoxicating.

All the pressure of reaching eighteen was gone, while they horsed around. It was as if the world had gone away, and there was just the two of them, free of everything. The restraints of society, the weight of wondering what the future held in store for them, the gloom of trying to figure out what it was they wanted for the rest of their lives, was all gone in those minutes of just splashing around. Of laughing, at chasing each other in the cool river water, made it all seem so carefree, so relaxing.

Even the notion of being Gay & all it meant, was gone from his thoughts. He could only think of Rob, of how much fun he was, of how good of a friend he was. The idea that they may go their own ways was not even lurking, as they just had now. It was an amazing feeling, that he only now understood. It was a gift, one he could hold onto for his entire life, unlike some other present that wore out, or got misplaced. This birthday gift, was something he would never lose.

He felt his heart thumb and through his narrowed eyes, he saw the figure on the bed. Trent could feel his pain, but right now, he felt nothing but his pleasure, as he too was thinking of that time they exchanged a gift, that really meant something. Strange, how it had taken him decades to fully appreciate, to fully comprehend it.

Sure he had remembered that time, many times throughout the years, but never as powerfully as he felt it now. It was like yesterday that it had all happened, and he felt the thrill deep inside. His whole body was recalling it, as he held Rob’s hand.

How Rob had lead him back to the river bank, and climbed up to stare down at Trent. He could see the moon over his shoulder, the pale moonlight glimmering off his well build body. How the drops of water shone in the pale light, making it seem like he was glowing. But it was how he stood, how he showed Trent that he too was all man. How there was no mistaking the hard pole, that stuck straight out from his body, right at Trent.

It made it all seem normal, as he too stood up, and despite the cool water, was still aroused. Or maybe it was that he just kept getting aroused? From the odd touch, the odd poke, and now the sight in front of him. It all made his body respond, made him ignore everything else.

The worries, the doubts & fears, just seemed unimportant at that time. Somehow, Rob had made him feel safe, comfortable in who he was. He couldn’t explain it then, or anytime since, not even now, but it was as if he could just be himself, not feel afraid or worried of it being misunderstood. His erection was part of him, something natural to have, at that moment.

Sex was never a comfortable topic for Trent, back then or really anytime afterwards. The only time he had ever felt safe, felt at ease, was with Rob, and it all came back to that birthday, that time when Rob showed him just how natural it was.

Out of the water, they raced back to their campsite, to find the fire in full roar. They stood next to it, letting the crackling flames dance and warm their toned bodies. It felt good, to just stand there, naked, and let the smoky warmth dry their skin.

It was just a few seconds, maybe a minute or two, but it felt good, and he couldn’t help but glance over at Rob, to check him out. His dick had softened a bit, but he was mesmerized by the sight of it. The way it was just there, for him to look. He knew Rob noticed, but he didn’t flinch, didn’t move away, or try to cover it up. He just stood there, letting him see all he wanted to see.

Then he moved to his backpack, and pulled out a towel, that he put down on the long log that was near the fire. He quickly moved to grab two more large logs, dumping them on the fire. The sparks flew high in the air, the flames twirled around the new fuel, then began to eagerly eat at it, while Rob dug back into the backpack, pulling out a huge terry cloth towel.

He sat down on the log, with one end of the towel around his shoulders. Rob opened one arm up, holding the other end of the towel, and it was somehow like an invitation that Trent couldn’t refuse. It seemed so natural, that he didn’t even hesitate to walk over, sit next to Rob, and let him place the open end of the towel around his own shoulders.

Rob didn’t let his hand move away either. It rested firmly over Trent’s shoulder, holding him close to his own body. They touched, at various parts, and stared out at the now roaring fire, in front. They didn’t say a word, but just rested into each other’s side. He could remember that feeling now, how good it had felt to have another leaning into him, to lean back & not be rejected, not be worried it would be misunderstood.

Time didn’t seem to matter, and they had just sat there, moving once or twice to add a few more logs onto the fire, but they just sat there. No words spoken, just two friends enjoying the touch of the other next to them. Even the cooler night breeze didn’t seem to phase them. Trent recalled how his hand rested on Rob’s thigh, then moved down so his whole arm rested on the thigh, his hand at the knee. Rob had his arm still around him, but it rested down at Trent’s waist, the hand just up around where his stomach met his thigh.

It felt so good, to feel those strong fingers laid on his leg, his whole body feeling like it was almost floating, only Rob’s touch holding him down, stopping him from floating up into the air, towards the heavens. It was an odd feeling, that he had never felt before, or since. It was a moment of utter bliss. Trent never could remember a time when he had been happier, and the evening had only just begun.

Looking down at Rob, he knew he owed him a lot, for just that one night, that one moment in his entire life, when he truly felt at ease, felt like he could be himself. He smiled down, seeing the answering smile in the pain wracked eyes. Even now, Rob could make him feel like he was okay, that he didn’t have anything to prove.

Sitting together, on that log, he had felt so at ease, that he surprised himself and had turned his face to look at Rob, and out of instinct, he kissed the warm shoulder that his head rested on. As his lips touched the warm flesh, he realized what he had done, but instead of leaping up and running, he waited.

It was as if Rob had been waiting for it, as all he did was snuggle his own body closer into Trent’s, and there was a sort of small little whimper that he heard over the roar of the fire. It all felt so natural, that he just let his head push in a bit more, his arm moved from on top of Rob’s leg, to circle his friends waist, to rest just as Rob’s hand rested around him.

Trent could feel the contentment, the simple feeling of being accepted, even now. He chuckled a bit, to himself, as he remembered how Rob had looked at him, how his eyes seemed to just peer right inside of him. It had felt rather hot, a turn on that somehow seemed right. How he would then glance down to Trent’s dick, and how the eyes would widen a bit. Thinking of it now, he also remembered how Rob would lick his lips, so slowly that he couldn’t help but notice every crevice in them. How his eyes would see the cracks on the rough surface of the tongue itself, as the tip would run across the upper lip first, then the lower one. How it would curl around the corners, as if he had a piece of food stuck in it.

It all came back to him now, as his eyes softened, as he stared down at his friend. How could he have missed all that love? Yet he had found it, before it was too late. He felt a hitch in his heart, as his chest heaved a bit at the lost moments but the beat of the other heart next to his, made him push away the regrets. Instead his mind took him back to that night, to that eighteenth birthday celebration.

While his folks had made a fuss over it, his mom making him a special dinner with all of his favourites, it was the night by the river that had made it memorable. It was where he finally lost the awkwardness of youth, thanks to Rob.

How he had just stood up, putting out his hand for Trent’s own hand. How he smiled, how he looked, totally naked, standing straight to his full 5foot 11inches, shoulders squared. It made him look like some ancient Greek God, the matted dried blond hair curling around his shoulders, his neck. The curls bunched up in spots, the eyes a brilliant blue, the face in a warm inviting smile, all added to his feelings.

He had no idea what was to happen, but he let himself be led back towards the tent, where another surprise greeted him. The sleeping bags were all laid out, one fully opened filling most of the tent. The other rested to one side, to be a cover when required. There would be no separation between them tonight, as he stared down at the arrangement.

To one side was a small overturned box, their camping lantern set on top. It was set to low, and the flame flickered a bit, greeting them as the wind blew softly around the inside, from the opened flap at the front. He sighed, as he stared at it all, at how romantic it all looked.

Walking past Rob, he looked around, letting his hand drop Rob’s clasp, and after taking it all in, he turned towards Rob, to thank him, but Rob had moved in closer. He was a bit surprised by his closeness, further stunned by how Rob simply put a finger up to his lips, indicating for him not to say a word.

Then he moved another step closer, and Trent could smell him, a mix of smoke and river, that made his insides rumble a bit. He blinked, as Rob reached out, to wrap both arms around him, to draw his naked body into his own. He felt the press of Rob’s hard cock against his thigh, felt it slide to one side, as his own hard dick pushed between his friends legs, next to a warm thigh and very hot groin.

He could feel that shudder, even now. How it had felt, how the strange rolling waves of pleasure had made their way up and down his whole body. How he had shook, as Rob pulled him in close, how he then felt the warm press of his friend’s lips against his neck, just under an ear. How good it felt, as the hands moved up and down his backside, touching him in a way that only made the shaking increase.

How his hands moved down to his naked buttocks, to grasp at his own cheeks, how his own hands seemed to awaken, to also begin a strange movement across Rob’s naked backside. How his cock jerked, how hard it suddenly felt, how much it ached too, as they held each other, standing together. He felt Rob’s perfect cheeks, the touch making him tingle, as they ran down the firm orbs. It was unbelievable, even now he felt the tingle deep inside, as he recalled that moment.

Trent could see it all now, see how Rob pulled back, his hands holding him by the shoulder as his blue eyes stared deeply into his own green eyes. How the one hand moved upwards, pushing a lock of Trent’s hair away from his face, how the lips looked. It all came back to him, making him tingle, all over again.

He could see his eyes flutter, the lids slowly closing, as the head tilted to one side, and moved inwards. Trent could feel how his heart had begun to race, how his blood begin to pump wildly through his whole body, making it quiver, as his own head tilted, as his own eyes began to close, despite his desire to capture every moment.

How his body shook, how it simply seemed to explode as he felt the soft touch of those lips on his. It was agonizing, wonderfully agonizing, as he found his lips parting, eager to let in the pressing tongue. The way it moved inside, how it pushed past the small opening of his lips, forcing its way past his teeth, to lick eagerly at the insides, at his own tongue. It had made him tremble then, and now too.

How could he have missed it, but he had. Now he knew it, and he felt it all over again, only this time it was even more powerful. How deep the tongue moved, how his body felt the power of the kiss, the emotion of it all. It was his first real kiss, from another guy, and it was like nothing he had ever experienced.

The press of Rob’s body against his grew too, as he felt his body taking charge, as his mind simply revelled in the wonderful feelings that kept filling his whole being. Nothing else seemed to matter, as he felt the deep hard kiss, as he felt the press of Rob against his own body. How they slowly sank to their knees was nothing but a blur, as they kissed each other. His hands were roaming all across the now hot flesh of his friend, as was his hands. He could feel the fingers probing him, reaching him in places no one had ever touched before.

He had no idea how long they kneeled, kissing each other, exploring each other, before he realized that they were on their sides, stretched out on the open sleeping bag. He could feel its padding, but more than that, he could feel the warm body pressing into his own.

Trent realized, not once had he objected, not once had he drawn back. It was perfect, as it was supposed to be. It was as he had always imagined it would be, as he lay there, feeling his hands touching part of another male, without fear, without feeling like the world would suddenly come to an end. He didn’t feel any shame, as a strange hand moved across his belly, as another’s hand brushed past his pubic hairs.

How he had moaned too, as that hand reached down between their hot bodies, to take hold of his stiff dick. How he felt the rolling tremors rush through his body, as the fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, gripping it firmly. It was unbelievable then, more so now as he could feel it, feel the passion come from the finger tips that touched his throbbing pole.

It felt like tiny electric shocks, the way the tips seemed to just spark. Like a charges of electricity was passing from Rob’s hand to his cock. It made him ache in a whole new way, one that was almost too much for his body to take. He felt himself quiver, felt his body arch upwards even, as the hand held his cock tightly.

Trent recalled how his chest hurt, how he struggled to breath, as Rob’s hand began to slowly move up his pole, to pull on his taut flesh, to roll over the full veins that were sticking out, throbbing with the rush of his blood. How his own limbs felt numb, as the blood rushed to his groin, at how his eyes were watering from the racing emotions deep inside of him.

His own hands were trembling, but he felt them reaching between their bodies, felt them touch the tip of something hard, that was hot and sticky. His hand trembled even more, his mind began to see strange flashes of lights, as he held his eyelids tightly shut. The pain was excruciating, but oh so wonderful, as he realized that Rob was oozing pre cum, just as he was.

The realization only confirmed the pleasure he was feeling, the passion too. How good it all felt, as his hand moved down his friend’s dick, to wrap his own fingers around the throbbing pole. It was his first dick, first touch of one that wasn’t his. It was strange, as he felt the blood pulsing through the thin veins, knowing that Rob was feeling the same sensations. To know another was feeling, what he was feeling, only made him moan more.

The hold he had was broken, as the body next to him moved, as the lower part disappeared from his grasp, and the tight hold on his own cock seemed to suddenly lessen. A brief moment of despair crept in, but was quickly vanquished as he felt the hard press of lips on his chest, the hot breath of another over one nipple, then another.

There was the sudden pain as teeth nipped at one nipple, biting it lightly and pulling back, then as it made its way up his nervous system, he felt the soft press of warm lips on around the nipple, a press that made him groan. Trent felt the brush of the nose against his chest, then the raspy edge of the tongue as it licked at the centre of his chest, moving down his heaving chest. He tried to suck in as much air as possible, smelling the scent of smoky wood, the crispness of river water.

As the tongue moved downwards, he felt the ache growing, felt the way his body was rumbling, how his balls were swelling, adding to the ache, to the growing threat of explosion. How much could his sac grow, before it burst, he wondered, as the tongue was joined by two hands, that moved along his body, touching him, caressing his rolling muscles.

He heard himself cry out, felt himself biting his lower lip as his hands rested on the sweating back of his friend. He could feel the strands of his hair, feel his fingers grabbing at them, twisting them around as the new sensations moved up and down his entire body. How his legs were stuck straight out, stiff and unyielding, making him cramp up, which he ignored.

Everything was coming too fast, as his breath panted, as his heart raced, all the time the tongue moving closer to his groin, to his throbbing cock. He couldn’t believe what was happening, he couldn’t even fathom at how it had happened, only that another man was kissing and licking his body. Only that another guy suddenly was kissing his belly, that a tongue was suddenly licking at his pubic hairs.

He remembered how he had cried out, how his hand had grabbed hold of Rob’s head, how it was pushing it down, even further. How much he wanted to feel that tongue, those lips, around his cock. And when he did, how it made his body suddenly shook in uncontrollable waves of spasms. How every nerve in his body suddenly seemed overwhelmed by the moment, how his body had arched upwards the instant he felt the touch of Rob’s lips around the head of his cock.

He didn’t realize it then, but he remembered it now, at how his hand had pushed, how his body had arched upwards, driving his hard cock past the lips, deep into Rob’s mouth. How there was a sort of gagging sound, how hot it felt all around his pole, as it pushed up into the waiting throat. How the lips wrapped so tightly around the hot flesh, how they slid down, letting his cock in, then out.

How good it felt to feel his nose pressing deep into his groin, how his body seemed to ache, to throb in time with the motion of the mouth over his cock. There was his voice too, loud and shrill as it cried out, shouting his enjoyment of it all.

His voice would have sent any animals nearby scurrying away from its loud cry, yet even as it filled his ears, he could still hear the crackling fire in the far off distance. He could still smell the smoke, smell Rob too, as his body throbbed, as it pushed further up with each new thrust. One hand held the head hard against his body, as he arched upwards, his other hand pounding the earth next to him, as he felt the power of his body growing, as he felt the swirling emotions inside bind together to become one uncontrollable wave of pure passion.

Trent could feel it now, just as he had that night. How his body soared, how the pain grew and grew until there was no other choice. His whole body had become a sea of sweat, of desire. His balls had swollen to more than twice their size, or so it had felt like. He felt it all, felt the press of his sac, as it couldn’t expand any further. His cock was rock hard, never before as hard as it was at that moment.

He felt it all, felt the roaring pain inside, felt it suddenly explode. The force knocking the little air in his lungs out, as the force of it, made him feel like he was in the middle of some blender turned on high, as if he had been in a force 5 tornado.

It sucked the life from him, as his body jerked hard, as it arched upwards, driving his thick throbbing cock deep into the willing throat. There was nothing but a swishing sound, echoing in his ears, as his body exploded, as he felt the power of his ejaculation.

The sound of his cum, how it roared out from his cock echoed in his ears, or was it Rob swallowing as fast as he could, as he felt the thick sticky goo coating his cock, running down the throbbing pole to drip down around his pubic hairs. He felt it all, felt the way his body suddenly seemed drained of all energy, of all power, as his cum continued to pour out.

The throb in his ears, the cries in his throat, all combined to make him shiver, make his body tremble in ways he didn’t think possible. It was unbelievable, even now, at how deep the tremors reached. It was like a secret cavern had opened up inside of him, to unleash this horrendous downpour of the very essence of his life. He felt it all, in tiny compartments of his brain, as he felt all of it.

Every drop that came rushing out, made an impact somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind. He could feel them leave his body, feel the warm mouth and throat that eagerly drank each single drop, desperate to let none escape.

Leaning back in the plain metal chair, Rob’s hand still grasped in his, he felt how drained he was now, just as he had been then. His eyes flickered, as they took in the soft light of the room, but as he looked at his friend, there was a strange sheen on his face. A sort of glow that made him realize that Rob had felt it too, that somehow, through all the pain killers in his body, he had felt that moment again, just as he had.

It hurt, inside, to realize how long it had taken him to come to this point, at what it had taken, to wake him up. Glancing down, he felt the love. For the first time in his life, he was able to acknowledge it, for what it was. No hiding behind other words, no need to cloak it behind some mask of shame or guilt. It had been love, still was love, as he tightened his own grip on the hand in his.

The hand returned his strengthened grip as he felt his chest ache. The shortness of breath was still there, the way he had felt the second the last of his cum had dribbled out from his cock. How totally exhausted he had felt, how his whole body had immediately sunk back into the warm earth. How Rob had fallen on top of him, equally exhausted, equally drained of all strength.

What he remembered most of that instant, was at how totally exhausted they were, but how satisfied he was. How full he felt, how warm and complete he felt. He rarely felt such pleasure, such fullness, satisfaction, as he had right then. Leaning forward, he let his one hand run across the damp forehead of his friend, smiling down at him, still holding his hand.

He saw the understanding in the eyes, saw the sparkle again, only this time, a bit more vibrant, a bit more lively than before. Despite the drugs being pumped into his veins, he was telling Trent that he too felt it, that he too remembered that time, that instant, but that he also remembered it all.

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