Remembering

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (3)

Trent’s smile grew wider, as he too began to remember, to recall just how that night had gone from one high to an even greater high. How the whole night had been one strange progression of reaching one plateau, then climbing upwards to the next, each one higher, each one giving him an even greater view, better feeling than the one previous.

Leaning back, once again, Trent let his mind go back, to that night out with Rob, to that tent by the river. He could hear the river running now, hear the panting breath of both Rob and himself. How good it had all felt, the total exhaustion, the feeling of being spent. In his wildest dreams, Trent had never thought it would feel like that, that it would be like it had been.

He had stared down his body, seeing the patches of dried sweat, seeing the mop of blond hair resting on his belly. How sweet it looked, how right it all felt to him. He didn’t know why it had happened, but it had. That had made the day the best of his young life, or so he had felt then, not knowing that it would be a memory that would carry him through more than just that night.

How it had felt, watching his chest slowly rise and fall, as the lungs were once more filled, as feeling once more returned to his limbs. No one could put it into words, the feelings he was having, as one hand reached out, to play lightly with some of the strands of Rob’s hair. Even just touching them, seemed to let him relive those precious moments from just a few minutes earlier.

After a few more seconds, the blond hair moved, and the head turned to stare up at him. He could see the eyes glittering, like two tiny stars that had gone super nova. How brilliant they shone, how deep their warmth penetrated him, and he could feel it now, feel it as intensely as if it was then. He felt the tremors inside, all over again, as his body sunk deeper into the back of the cold metal chair.

Nothing could replace that feeling. Not the winning promotion to his current rank, not to getting a medal by the President himself, could make him feel any better, than that look had made him feel. How those eyes seemed to reach out, to touch his very soul, was still the most powerful feeling he had experienced. It was the high of his life, as he sat there, remembering how the blond head grinned up at him, at how the tongue licked the cum stained lips, tasting his milk a second time.

How it had made him feel so alive, so real. Then how the head had lifted up, how the body moved up along his, to rest once more, side by side. This time Rob’s arm lay across Trent’s chest, the fingers wrapped down and under his ribs. How they felt so close to him, how he felt the hot breath across his bare chest, nipple.

Never, in his dreams, his fantasies, had Trent ever thought it would be like this. It had never occurred to him, how deep the emotions were, or could be. Yet even as he lay there, strength slowly returning to his body, he could feel the desire growing too. He could feel the growing desire, specially the way Rob had looked at him. How his eyes seemed to be talking to him, telling him how good that had been, how good the rest would be.

They had moaned, groaned and he knew he had screamed a few times, but nary a word. Not one syllable had passed their lips that could be considered a word. Yet he felt as if they had spoken volumes, in a way he had never felt before. It was like each time he looked at Rob, or Rob at him, they could read each other’s mind. They could feel the thoughts inside their heads, understand the desires that run through their brains.

Maybe he wasn’t as good at it as Rob, but there was no mistaking how he just seemed to know, to understand exactly what Trent was thinking. Like now, as he glanced down, to see him looking up, to see him grinning as he moved his legs slightly, to show his hard cock. He had been thinking that, wondering what it would taste like, what it would feel like to have one in his own mouth, as Rob had just done for him.

He felt the excitement inside, as Rob spread his legs apart, showing off his groin. How beautiful the hard pole looked, as it stuck out from the light colored hairs that surrounded its thick base. He could see the thick head, how it seemed to be like a molten rock, waiting to be blown out from the top of an erupting volcano.

How just looking at it, he knew that he would be tasting it. That his thoughts were read, that his desire was also Rob’s desire. He couldn’t understand how, least not then, but he did now, as he felt the scene growing in front of him. He could see the lantern flickering, see the flames from their fire still flickering outside. How they looked against the tent walls, like dancing shadows that rose up and fell down, in strange erotic patterns, that only made him more excited. Like some strange aphrodisiac, the way the flames moved, adding to the whole night’s mood.

Trent’s desire to taste Rob’s cock was growing, but he didn’t know how to say it. Then as he looked back up, he realized he didn’t have to ask, as Rob just smiled, and slowly moved his body around, so his groin was now within reach of Trent’s upper body. At the same time, he rested his head on the lower thigh, his hand moving lightly across the small hairs of Trent’s leg.

Rob’s legs moved in closer, and he could smell him. That strange aroma of testosterone, of a man aroused, filled his nostrils, as he breathed it all in very deeply. He felt nervous, as he tried to think about it, but the sight of the hard cock, its smell, its closeness, banished the thoughts from his mind, His body was in charge, as he found his hand was already busy, lightly massaging the full thigh next to him. His eyes were fixed so intently on the cock, he hadn’t even noticed how he too had shifted his body, so he lay on one side.

His eyes closed tightly, his hand grasped the other firmly, as his mind took him back to that moment. He felt his body shift, felt himself leaning on his side, pressing down onto Rob’s prone body. The touch of his hands made him tingle, the press of their bodies made him tremble a bit, as he breathed in the intoxicating scent coming from Rob’s groin. He loved how it played with the tiny hairs in his nostrils, how it made them flare, how it made his heart once more begin to pound deep in his chest.

He breathed in deeply, as his hand moved up & along the thigh, to play with the small wiry pubic hairs. How each strand felt being run through his fingers, how he felt the tiny electric jolts, as the tips of his fingers brushed past the thick base of the throbbing pole. It made him groan, a soft rumbling sound, that seemed to go on forever.

Then he felt the jolt, the fire inside, as his hand moved over, to take hold of the throbbing pole. He felt his body shake, as his eyes opened, to stare at the winking eye of the cock, at the oozing white precum that was rolling down the rounded head. He felt like his mind was somehow detached from his body, as if it was floating above, as he watched his tongue come flicking out, taking the falling drop of precum on its tip, then bringing it back into his mouth, for him to taste.

It had a salty taste to it, one he was totally unaccustomed to, yet it had a sort of sweetness buried inside, that made it palatable. He felt his stomach gurgle, felt his tastebuds shrink back, then surge forward, wanting to taste it again, urging him to give them more.

He watched as his tongue flicked out again, tasting more of the precious fluid, then he saw how his hand tightened its grip around the pole. How his fingers were white at the knuckles as he held the throbbing pole in his fist. It made his body tremble even more, as he watched in amazement as he saw his head lowering itself. He could see his hair, how it hung down in a dishevelled mess around his neck, how it fell across one eye, how his other hand reached up and angrily pushed it out of the way.

Every movement was etched on his mind, like he had actually saw it happen, as his mouth slowly opened, while moving forward. How his tongue reared back, licking his lips hurriedly, as they came closer to the throbbing cock. How his heart was pounding, how the blood was rushing through every vein, how his own cock was suddenly being held.

It all flashed across his vision, as his head came closer, as he saw his eyelids flutter, saw then struggle to stay open, but fail. Just as his head was right over the fiery cock head, he saw his eyes close, saw his mouth open a bit wider, as they moved closer, small ridges from his skin just lightly touching the hot skin of the head. He could feel the jolts inside, feel the giddiness too, as his head lowered itself even more.

How his whole body shook, how it seemed to quiver in the dim light from the lantern behind his back. Trent could see it all, as he felt it all happen. How it made him groan, he could hear that too. Even now, decades later, he could see it all, feel it all. It was just as powerful, as he saw his head lower, felt the lips wrap around the head. The taste of precum filled his mouth, making him lick his lips now, as he could taste it, once more.

The way his tongue moved to one side, how the lips surrounded the cock head, sliding downwards, slowly. He felt the cock shake, felt it tremble, then push up a bit, anxious for his mouth to cover it all. How he had obliged too, how it felt watching his nose bury itself deep into the soft groin, tiny blond pubic hairs all around the bridge of his nose.

Every detail was etched on his memory, just as if a picture had been taken every second from behind his head. He could see the tiny hairs fall flat against the groin, saw how one moved below, another to the side, and how the balls shook, as his hot breath wafted across the sac. How big they seemed to grow, as his lips held the base of the cock between them. It all was there, as was how Rob was feeling.

He could hear him, hear him sucking in his breath, hear his heart racing, as his cock was sucked up into Trent’s mouth. At how he trembled, as the tip of his cock head banged up against the roof of Trent’s mouth, then pushed past to enter his throat. He could see how Rob’s body was shaking, how his legs had become like steel beams, rigid and firm.

His eyes might be closed, but he could see how Rob’s toes were curled, how his one big toe was flexing, was trying to dig itself back into the sole of Rob’s foot. How the other toes were curling, some pushing away from the others, while his mouth took all of Rob’s cock inside.

It was as if he had done it before, the way it just seemed to fit perfectly inside. He didn’t feel any trouble, no objection from his muscles, as the thick pole pushed inwards, as it made its way into his throat, filling it fully. He could feel his nostrils flaring, trying to breath, while at the same time enjoy the taste of the hard cock.

His body shook, but he could see the muscles in Rob’s stomach rolling, seem them shuddering as they contracted in time to the way his tongue was trying to lick at the thick pole. His body was constantly quivering, as if he was having some sort of spasm. His muscles all ached, as he saw his head pull back, saw the glistening pole sliding out, coated in his saliva. Then he saw how his head moved quickly back down, gobbling it back inside.

Trent could feel the cock throbbing. He could feel the blood flowing all around it, feel the nerves in the head tingling as his lips held it firmly under the head. His own body was tingling too, as he felt Rob’s hands massaging the inside of his thigh, stopping every few seconds.

The feeling of Rob touching him ended, as he saw how his head tilted back, at how his mouth was open, his eyes shut tightly. He could see the way his face was drawn, how the muscles inside were drawn taut, as his mouth moved up and down Rob’s cock.

Each beat of his heart, mirrored the beat of Rob’s own heart. The faster it beat, the faster his followed. The more it thundered, the louder his own heart echoed in his ears. It was like twin hearts, the way his body and Rob’s, shook together, in unison. Strange how he really hadn’t noticed it before, at how so much they were in tune with each other.

How it made everything seem so much better, so special. He still felt in awe at it all, at how deeply he felt Rob’s presence, even now. Just as then, he could feel his mind inside his, as if they were talking. He could feel every beat, just as he did then. It made each feeling more real, more intense.

Just as how he felt, when he could feel the balls swell, feel them reach that point where they would either explode or burst. How he felt the rumble deep down inside of Rob’s body, how he felt his mind flashing, how the electrical charges seemed to just grow between them. It was all doubled, as it included his own feelings, his own waves of pleasure.

His mind seemed to see it all, to experience it all. How the tiny blond hairs on Rob’s arms suddenly stood up, how the hairs on the nape of his neck were all standing straight up from the burning flesh, how they waved in the air within the tent. They all were noted, as was how the tiny hairs along the sac were looking like they would pop out, as he felt the tremor begin, deep down inside of Rob.

He felt the cock vibrate in his mouth, felt the head shaking, then rear back, as he saw the muscles in Rob’s legs tighten even more. Strong bonds of steel was how they looked, like the wire running to hold up a suspension bridge. Thick and round, each weave taut and strong. It was how his legs were, as he felt the rushing pressure coming from the tiny hole in the cock.

It was unreal, like a herald announcing the coming stampede. The way it blew into his mouth, following almost immediately by the hot salty taste of liquid, that felt like an entire ocean had been poured into his mouth. He felt his throat recoil, felt an overpowering urge to constrict, but how the that urge was refused by his body, by his heart. How the blood inside of Rob was rushing, pushing the hot milky cream forward, like a powerful jet engine.

The roar in his ears was filled by the thunder of his and Rob’s beating heart, by the loud cries that came from his legs, and he could see it too. He could see the wide open mouth, see the teeth glistening, as the cry came breaking upon his ears. He felt the wave of pleasure, felt it reaching his tongue, his throat, then his whole body, as more of Rob’s cum flowed out into his open mouth.

How hot it felt, how sweet at times, how salty even, and how good it all tasted. He had never tasted it before, other than his own, but this was so different, so much better, that he felt his body wanting more. He couldn’t explain it, not then, not now, but it was like he could feel more of Rob, than before. It was as if he could understand his signals more, as he watched how his face twisted, as his body continued to arch upwards, giving him more of that precious milk.

Sitting there now, it was like he could taste it all over, again. He had the same feeling of wonder, the same excitement of something new. Odd, as he had tasted other men, since, but the only real taste he could remember was that from Rob. Glancing down at him, he realized just how special his relationship had been, how unique it had been.

Yes, there had been other men, other guys early on in his life, in his career since that birthday campout, but none seemed to be as vivid in his mind, as the times he was with Rob. Nothing he could dredge up now, could equal how good it felt, just thinking of the times with Rob. Yet until now, he never really understood that, never really comprehended why it was so special, so crystal clear in his memory.

Hell, he couldn’t even remember the names of some he had later on, yet he could still see those hairs standing up on Rob’s leg, decades earlier. He could still see clearly the way his face looked, as his jizz pumped into his mouth that first time. It was like he was seeing it replayed on a digital captured video, though he knew it wasn’t. They didn’t even exist when his memory had been made.

Tears were welling up in his eyes, once more as Trent realized just what he had missed. All those lonely nights he had accepted could have been filled with Rob’s laughter, with his presence, if only he had the guts to accept what had been so freely given to him, so many years earlier. If only he had seen past his goals, seen what really mattered. Maybe he wouldn’t be the frosty man he was today, maybe none of this would be, if he had simply stood up, and accepted who he was?

It was a sobering thought as he felt the tears roll down his face, as his eyes once more sought those of Rob. He saw them staring back at him, almost as if Rob could read his mind. They looked the same, as they had that night, clear, free of all pain, as Rob spoke to him, just as he had that night. No words, just the beat of his heart next to his own.

The world could be disintegrating around him, but he couldn’t hear it, just the warm steady beat of Rob’s heart, next to his. It felt good, it felt like it belonged there, as his mind cried out, as his failures from the past seemed to just, disappear. It was as if he was being absolved of his past inaction, his past reluctances.

The pain in his chest, around his heart seemed lifted as Rob’s blue eyes stared deeply into his soul. He could feel it, just as he could feel the pulsing beat of the heart. It shouldn’t be, couldn’t be. He was a practical man, one trained in the art of believing what you saw, not what you felt deep in your gut. Trent had never been a man of faith, of blind belief in something unknown, unproven. Yet at this moment in his life, he found he did have faith, have what he always thought had been missing in his character, real courage.

The catch in his throat made the hand squeeze his just a bit harder, and once more he felt his eyes drawn to Rob’s. He could see it all, see the love that he had refused to acknowledge, to accept. It was still there, for him, and he felt the easing of his heart.

Leaning back, feeling exhausted, he wondered how he could have missed all the signs. How could he not have known that what Rob shared with him that night, had been out of love, not out of some physical need? Nothing about that night had been casual, had been borne out of some physical lust or desire. He knew it then, but had refused to accept it.

Even now, he found it hard to understand how blind he had been. What else would you call it, when a man didn’t accept that what had passed between them, had been more than just getting off? There was no excuse, yet as he held onto Rob’s hand, as he let his mind drift back to that night, he knew that it was from fear.

Fear is what had held him back, lack of having the guts to let himself feel, beyond the moment, was what had nearly cost him everything. He felt the shame again, though not as he had felt it back then. Then it was from being a freak, or so he had thought, and even after that night, he still felt like he was a freak of nature, an abomination.

It had taken the news, read by some uncaring, unknowing face, telling him of the day’s causalities, of hearing the name, that he had known for so long, being on that list, that had finally woken him up. He smiled as he remembered how surprised his aide had been when he had ordered transport for here. How the man had reminded him of his important meeting with the Commanding General, and how his aide’s face had looked when he told him to fuck the general and get him transport to this field hospital.

The look on the young man’s face when he asked what he should tell the General, of where he had gone, was priceless. It was like someone had let off an RPG in the entire complex, the way it had grown so silent as he had simply told the man to tell the General he had gone to see his lover.

The way his clerk had dropped his clipboard, papers flying all over the place, at how the young corporal by the computer had nearly fallen off his chair. It was priceless now, but then it was just an irritant. He didn’t really give a damn what they were thinking, just as long as they got him the transport, just as long as he made it here, before it was too late.

Looking down, the small smile on the lips were good enough for him. Sure, the shit would hit the fan when he got back, if not sooner, but he didn’t care. He had something they couldn’t take from him, he had the memories of those times, those all too few times, when he had let himself be a real man.

He felt the tap on his shoulder, heard the faked cough as he looked up to see the Orderly standing there, at attention. His face was pure white, and there was a horrible zit on his chin, but he wasn’t a bad looking kid, he thought as he asked him what he wanted.

‘Uh Sir, there is a General outside.’

‘One of ours?’

‘Huh? Uh, Yes Sir, he wants to see you, he uh, he looks pretty uh, pretty upset Sir.’

Trent looked at the orderly and smiled. It was obviously going to be sooner than later he thought, as he turned his head to look down at Rob. He saw his eyes staring at him, questioning him, but he just smiled back at Rob.

The sounds of the river were gone. There was no soft gentle rustle of wind blowing through trees now, just the dull mechanical whirl of cold lifeless machines. He could hear them once again, as he realized that the orderly was waiting for an answer.

Somehow, he felt more confident, more in charge of his life than at any other time. It was like a whole new world had just opened up in front of him. He no longer feared what people would say, or even do. There was a lot more to living, than always being afraid.

‘Son, tell the General I am busy.’

‘Uh Sir, I uh, he’ll have my ass, he uh…’

‘Just tell him son, he won’t bite, he’ll save that for me, now shoo, go.’

He could hear the man suck in his breath, could even feel his eyes staring at him, but he was already pushing him out of his thoughts, as he held the hand, raising it up to his lips, and kissing the back of it.

From deep inside he could hear himself talking to the warm spirit next to his heart. ‘I am not running anymore Rob, I am going nowhere, without you.’

The hand tightened a bit and he could see the answer in the man’s face. The pain had somehow been pushed back as they just looked into each other’s face, knowing what was in their hearts. He could feel that passion, just as he had back then. As the door to the room closed on the orderly’s exit, the sounds of machines grew more distant, more muted. He was once more letting himself go back, to a time he wished he had more of. To a time when life had its moments, to a point in his past when he truly felt as alive, as free, as he did at this minute.

He smiled as he could hear his own pounding chest, feel the hot warm milk dripping out of the corner’s of his mouth, as Rob’s cock pulsed and jerked inside of his mouth. He was back, to remembering what was important.

Picture Post, courtesy BoyFunk

SEE ALL OF JEFF’S PICTURES, VIDEOS, HERE

Marching

to a Different Beat

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (-)

The sky was just beginning to lighten, as the bus rattled along the highway. They had been on the road all night long, as Jeremy stared out the window. It was the first time he had managed to snag a window seat. Maybe it was a sign that the others had finally given up on making him the target of their jokes, of their nastiness.

They would be at the ferry terminal in another couple of hours, then off to the Island on the 7am run. According to the band director, they’d check into the hotel and have the whole day off. Tomorrow and Sunday would be practice days, then the parade on Monday. It would be their 5^th parade in as many weeks, and he was a bit weary of it all.

At eighteen, a senior, this was supposed to be the culmination of his high school years. Next year he’d be off to college, if accepted, and would be starting all over. He hoped the stories were true, though, that at least in college it was easier to be queer. High School certainly hadn’t been fun for those who were, and he could testify to that.

Not that anyone knew, until they were on the road. Somehow he had managed to keep it secret, until that fateful night on their first day out. He could still hear the jeers, feel the sudden anger and hatred around him. It wasn’t fair, and maybe he should have denied it, or tried to bluff his way through it, but he hadn’t. Now he had spent nearly five weeks in pure purgatory, thanks to one simple mistake.

Leaning back in the seat, he turned to face the window, to just stare out at the passing scenery. He still couldn’t believe how those who he had known for years, could turn on him so suddenly. People like Roger, Mark, and Cory, all of whom he had known since grade school. They had joined Band together back then, when the drums they played were bigger than they were.

Yet one simple goof, and now they were the leaders of his torment, always jeering, always with the sissy boy, the fag jokes. It wasn’t any open attack, except when on the bus, or in the hotel rooms. He had looked forward to exploring the different cities with his friends, but instead he was left to wander the streets, the shops, alone. No one was willing to have him along, not even the girls.

In some respects they were meaner than him. The way some had come to him, showing off their lipsticks or make up purchases, loudly asking if like the color, given it wasn’t pink. That always got the guys snickering, and how some would seek his advice, in front of the others, about what under garments to wear. They wanted to know if it would get the guy’s hot, seeing as how he was an expert on what got guys turned on.

That had been the hardest part, and it wasn’t like the chaperons were any help. For the most part they snickered, or ignored it. To them it was harmless teasing, but it didn’t feel like that to him. Even the band leader turned a blind eye to the crap. Like at the first stop, when they had hidden his drum, or painted the words ‘faggot’ on the drum skin.

They even ignored it when they had replaced his harness with one made with frills, and colored a bright pink, and hid any of the others so he had to use it. Not one word of admonishment from the adults of the group, just the shake of a head, telling him he’d have to use it. That had to be one of the worst parades of his life. To go marching with the others, standing out from the entire group, in front of all those strangers. It even was picked up by the local television station, calling him some sort of activist, guessing at what he was trying to protest.

In some ways, he knew he had been stupid. The weekend before they were to leave, he had gone camping with Neil, and had taken some of his boy magazines with him. It was something he could share with Neil, a guy he had met at summer camp the previous year. They had found that they had more in common than being in the band of their respective schools.

He liked Neil, who was in the wind section of his high school band, a bit thin but man, he had been something that summer. They had kept up their friendship, and when Neil had a chance to come to Jeremy’s city, well they made plans to meet. Going camping before Neil left to go back had been his father’s idea, and well, it was a perfect way to end Neil’s visit.

The sex had been great, even better than at camp, as both had a bit more experience now, so he had taken some skin magazines with him. It had been fun to talk about which one’s were hot, which weren’t. To simply share an appreciation that other’s wouldn’t understand. And like an idiot, he had forgotten to empty his duffel bag before packing for the band trip.

Stopping at the campsite, that first night, he had forgotten about the magazines, Hell he’d forgotten about it before packing, so when he dumped his bag out, and the magazines came flying out, he had been as surprised as everyone else. Unfortunately they had moved faster, and it was around the whole campsite in seconds, or so it seemed.

He should have denied they were his, should have figured out some snappy lie, or better yet, taken a page from the Politicians and blamed them, saying that one of them must have put them there, to get at him. That is what he should have done, instead he had just stammered, just stood there pale as a ghost. And ever since he had been the butt of their so called sense of humor.

Staring out the window, he felt rather sad. He didn’t understand how guys like Mark or Ron could switch from being a friend, to being the enemy. It really didn’t make much sense, except maybe that they were trying to cover their own asses. The way some of the other’s had looked at them, wondering. He wondered if he would have acted that way too, if the situation had been reversed?

Looking out, he saw the darkness evaporating, saw the shapes becoming more defined as the bus rolled along. He was tired, but it wasn’t a good tired. Not like it had been on that last morning with Neil, at the camping spot they had found. No campgrounds for them, as they had trekked into the woods, off the beaten path, so that no one could intrude. It had been a week of nothing but sex, and he smiled as his body settled deep into the bus seat.

So what if they wanted to harass him? They couldn’t take away what he had, and soon he’d be away from them. Soon he’d be off making new friends, and like Neil had said, colleges had a more ‘gay friendly’ lifestyle. Sure, he would still need to be careful, but incidents like skin mags falling wouldn’t do more than raise an eyebrow.

They hadn’t done much exploring, other than the odd journey down to the river. There they had found a nice spot, shaded and not quite so open so that they could be seen. It had been fun, to lay on the ground, staring out at the sun shining down on the water. How it had glittered, but not as much as Neil’s eyes had, when he would get horny, which seemed to be all the time.

For a skinny kid, Neil did have a rather attractive body, when naked. The ribs didn’t really stick out that much, and his stomach was flat. It was fun to run his hand over it, because he could feel each muscle under the skin. Not like there was a lot of fat to cover it. His hips were a bit bony, but then Neil was what one would call your typical eighteen year old high school nerd or geek.

He liked computer sciences, and was nuts about astrology too. The way his face would light up when he was talking about some ram this or quad processors, or when he talked about the worlds beyond. Neil was one of those who liked to dream, but he was all guy too. He loved sex, talking about penises, cut or not, seemed to make his face glow as much as talking about the stars did.

While he didn’t think of himself as having a great body, he knew it was more muscular, more filled out than Neil’s was, but the sex had been so good, it really didn’t matter all that much. He might have outweighed Neil by 30 or so pounds, and he had a lot more hair on his legs than Neil, but when it came to comparing dicks, well Neil won that one hands down.

Who would have thought some skinny runt like Neil would have a dick the size of a torpedo? Back at summer camp it hadn’t been that big, least he hadn’t thought it had, but in a year, it was like some growth hormone had kicked in, or something. He even asked Neil if he had been using some of those ‘penis pills’ that inundated his email.

Neil had laughed, and said no, but the way he had laughed, grinned, had only made Jeremy stare at Neil more. They had been out at the river, laying there watching the sun come up. It was their first night, and already he had shot two loads and Neil had only shot once.

It wasn’t cold either, and they were stretched out on a pair of blankets, stark naked, just enjoying the warm air, the stars, and each other. He wished it didn’t have to be hidden, even then, but stupid he wasn’t. Least until the magazines had come out of his duffle bag. Now that was stupid, but thinking back to that first night, it seemed like no one should object to him or Neil.

Looking out, the whole night seemed to be just like that first night, at how Neil had lay next to him, his body just touching him in certain spots, and how good it had felt. The press of someone’s legs against his, of feeling his presence. It had given him some good feelings, and when they had turned their heads to look at each other, to talk or say something, it had felt so comfortable, that he wished he could do that with others.

He and Neil were typical eighteen year olds, least he thought so. Yet maybe they weren’t, because in all the locker room talk he had heard, no one ever talked about how it felt to lay next to the person they were boinking. No one talked about how it felt, just about how much cum they had shot, or how long they had been banging.

Maybe instead of hounding him, they could take a lesson in what real sex was like, from him and Neil. Man, he still could remember how good it had felt, when Neil had let his hand rest on Jeremy’s chest. How his heart had begun to beat a bit faster, as Neil caressed his chest, how the fingers would play the few chest hairs he had. How they felt, tingled as his fingers twisted them a bit, then flattened them out.

How his nipples seemed to stiffen as the tips of Neil’s fingers would gently circle them, then rub over the tip. How it made him tremble, how he would bite his teeth, as the hand moved slowly over his body. It was hard to put into words, but damn it had felt good, something he could still feel, if he thought about it real hard.

How his whole body shuddered, when Neil leaned over and lightly pressed his lips against the side of his chest, just beside a nipple. Man, he almost creamed right then and there, as the soft press of those moist lips touched his skin. It had been a perfect night, and the dawn was on track for being even more spectacular.

Strange, but thinking about that camping trip, he couldn’t remember when he hadn’t been hard, nor if Neil had ever been soft. It was like they were always stiff, always wanting to get it on, yet the sex wasn’t just about a quick suck or fuck. Okay, the first afternoon it had been, but only then.

It was more about how they seemed to just enjoy each other, to take their time, to savour it all. Maybe they weren’t typical, but damn the sex had been amazing. They had gone through a few boxes of Condoms on that trip. Thinking about it now, he realized too that it was more about the way they did things, than the mechanics of it. After all a fuck was a fuck, but it was how they led up to it, how they enjoyed the touch of each other, the closeness, that made it worth remembering.

Like that first morning, how Neil spent so much time just leaning on his side, while he explored all of Jeremy’s body. How good it had felt, the way his hand seemed to be all over him, touching, pressing. It was sort of like Neil was trying to memorize every part of him, where every dimple was, every ridge of skin was. How his finger would moved down the centre of his chest, towards his belly.

How it traced around his belly button, making him giggle a little, and how they laughed as suddenly they were tickling each other, hands flying to various body spots, to tickle, to touch. Their peals of laughter only seemed to make them want each other more. Strange that, but one second they were frolicking around, laughing and then the next, they were locked in a passionate kiss.

Neil tasted so good, but the sound of him laughing, the way he would squirm, to reach around and tickle him, or to just hold him, was an unbelievable experience. Everything felt so natural, so unrehearsed. It was as if they could read each other’s minds, know what the other wanted.

Why was that so wrong? So many seemed to think it was, but as he thought about it, he couldn’t understand it. He was happy when he could feel Neil’s arms around him, holding him. How good it had felt to feel his hot breath on his cheeks, while his hand was touching him. Nothing that felt that good, could be wrong.

His eyes closed as his head settled further into the seat, thinking of Neil, of that first morning. How Neil had moved around, how they had kissed, then how Neil was suddenly on top of him, his body pressing down. He could feel the press of his big dick, wedged up into the soft part of his groin, his own dick wedged upwards, against Neil’s belly.

Jeremy could feel the heart beating, feel the chest heaving as Neil kissed him hard. How his tongue had pushed past his teeth, had licked him deep inside, then pulled out, while his tongue returned the favour. It felt so good, to feel the Neil’s fingers digging into his upper arms, as he moved his hips from side to side, rubbing his hard cock against his crotch.

The way his body moved, to push at his own dick, to make it rub between them, then how he had sat up, his knees on either side of Jeremy. How he had looked down at him, his eyes looking so alive, so filled with fire. It had made his body shake a bit, made his heart skip a beat. Even now he could feel how good it had felt, to be looked at that way.

Nothing dirty about that, nothing unseemly. It just felt so natural, so good. How the eyes seemed to pierce his deep inside, touching him within. The way he had moaned softly, as Neil had looked at him, at how it felt to have his bony knees pushing against the outside of his thighs. Looking up, he knew what Neil wanted, knew it without having to ask.

He had smiled back, and had reached for his pants, to pull out a condom. Jeremy had felt the eyes following his movement, could feel the excitement building in the body on top of his, as he picked up the condom and turned to stare at Neil.

Handing it to him, he saw the eyes widen, saw the desire too. Hell, he could feel it. Until now, he had always been the top, the one to penetrate. Even back at summer camp, he had been the one to do it. Looking up at Neil, he felt the ache inside, knowing that this time, he wanted it as much as Neil had all those other times.

It wasn’t like he had never bottomed before, but for some reason, he really wanted it this time. He had this strange ache in his ass, that made him squirm, as he watched Neil tear the condom package, and take out the thin plastic. How it seemed to sort of shine, in his hand, as he grabbed the tip and looked down at Jeremy. It was so different than any of the other times. Something about it had made him lick his lips, made his eyes widen, as Neil stared down at him, as he adjusted himself to sit between Jeremy’s legs.

Everything felt suddenly quiet, still even. His heart seemed to be holding itself in check, as he glanced down his body, to see that large dick, to see the tiny white at the slit, as Neil reached down to grab hold of it. How big it looked, yet how much he wanted it. It didn’t make sense, as he watched Neil unroll the condom slowly down the cock shaft. Least to him it seemed slow, and almost, sensual. To think, that was soon going to be inside of him, made him tremble a bit, made him a bit anxious too.

He had dicks before, but nothing like Neil’s. Still he wanted it, could feel the desire in his body, as he spread his legs a bit, as his own cock was solid, like a rock, sticking up. They didn’t say a word to each other, as Neil finished unrolling the condom, then looked up at Jeremy.

It was as if he was asking if Jeremy was certain, and his reply had been a soft whimper, as if, he couldn’t wait. His body was trembling, as he lifted up his legs, pushing them apart, and reaching to hold them up high in the air, lifting his rear upwards, to give Neil a good view.

The sudden touch of Neil’s fingers around his balls, the way they moved down from the top, between his cheeks, made him shiver. His thighs quivered, the muscles tightening, as he clenched his legs. The pain of being in that position ignored, as his eyes became a bit glazed over. His chest hurt too, as he held his breath, as he licked his lips for the umpteenth time.

The touch was soft as the fingers moved down and circled his hole, then disappeared. He heard Neil slurping, as if he was sucking on something, then he felt the fingers back at his hole, felt their moist tips, knowing that the sound had been Neil sucking on his own fingers.

The tip of the finger circled his hole, then it rested briefly over his hole, before he felt the soft press, the gradual increase of pressure, as Neil let his finger push inwards. He felt the muscles around his hole, felt them tighten, then suddenly he felt the finger sliding into him. He moaned, and shook a bit, as Neil continued to slowly push his finger in, until Jeremy could feel the press of Neil’s hands between his cheeks.

He sighed, as the finger began to pump him, to go in and out, then twist around. His body continued to squirm, as Neil added a second finger to the first, stretching his insides a bit more. It felt snug, felt full, as he moaned a bit, as the fingers moved in and out. They didn’t go fast, but in a steady in and out motion, that made him quiver a bit more.

His chest began to heave, as the fingers worked deep into his body, then out, then in. They moved from side to side, making him moan his pleasure as he felt the steady motion. Then it was suddenly over, as he felt Neil pressing up against his legs. He felt the hot breath across his face, and opened his eyes to see his face looming over his chest.

The way his short hair looked so damp, as if he had been in the river. How the eyes had a strange glint he had never seen before, that made him catch his own breath. How adorable he looked, really. The way his jaw was held so tight, the thin lines around it more pronounced. His nostrils were flaring as Jeremy felt Neil’s cock sliding between his upraised buttocks.

It felt so hot, like a hot poker. He groaned as the huge cock was suddenly being pressed up into his hole. Jeremy could feel the muscles protesting, feel his nerves tingling, as Neil glanced down at Jeremy. How his eyes took on a totally different look, almost feverish. The way his cheeks were pulled inwards, as his small bony chest heaved with the effort.

Then he felt the pain, the sharp jabbing jolt that seemed to suddenly race up and down his spine. God how it hurt, yet didn’t. It was all through his body, making his legs quiver, making his arms tighten their grip on his legs. How his own body suddenly became tense, wired with nervous energy.

The pain in his rectum made him groan loudly, made him bite his lower lip as Neil’s dick pressed inwards, the head stretching him so much, he was certain his tiny little pink hole would be ripped apart, that it would need stitches or something to be put back together. He cried out, as tears welled up at the corners of his eyes, as the hard cock continued to press inwards.

He heard Neil grunt, heard his breath come rushing past, as a giant wave of pain came rushing into his body. He cried out louder, his body coiled tightly, as the cock head made its way past his tiny hole. He could feel it, feel the sudden tightening of it around the shaft, as Neil pressed inwards, driving his cock into Jeremy.

Slowly he felt his whole insides being filled, as the cock seemed endless. His body shook, his legs quivered, but he didn’t want it to stop. The pain was harsh, more than he had ever experienced, yet as he squirmed, he couldn’t help but feel the pleasure too. The way his body shuddered as sweat dropped from Neil’s looming body onto Jeremy. It all made him feel it even more, as his eyes closed, as he let the moment take hold of him.

He had no idea how long it was, nor did he care. Each hard thrust into his body made him jump, made his body try to burrow into the soft ground beneath him. His legs ached, his arms were numb, as Neil seemed to be pounding him faster and faster. Each crushing blow, driving that thick long pole deeper and deeper.

Jeremy swore he could feel the pulsing vein under the shaft, as it dug deep into him. He could feel the head banging up against his insides, feel it reaching for his throat even, as he tossed his head from side to side, enjoying the pain that was now pure joy. How good it felt, as the hard pole continued to drive in and out of his body.

How good it all felt, as he heard his own cries mingle with Neil’s. There was a strange thundering echo in his ears, which he knew had to be the wild beat of his heart, but there were other sounds too. The sounds of the river lapping onto the shore, the sound of the warm wind blowing through the trees above. There were the sounds of Neil’s labored breathing, of his own.

They all joined together in one single chorus of noise, that echoed in his ears, that penetrated his mind, as the hard dick kept thrusting into his body. His whole body was shaking, and then he felt his cock being grabbed, felt the hand circle it and began to pump it, to stroke it.

Opening his eyes, he saw the wild look in Neil’s face. How he was staring at Jeremy’s cock, as he rocked in and out, as his whole body shook. His hand moved as fast as his hips did, in time with the deep thrusts of his cock. Jeremy couldn’t believe the image, of how the hand was nothing but a blur, as his legs kept bucking. How the pleasure he was feeling inside, kept on growing, with each hard thrust.

His chest ached, his mind was in a fog, as his eyes opened wider, as the hand stroked his dick, as the cock inside pressed up into his body. Jeremy felt it coming, could feel how his balls were so full that he though they would burst. How hard they hurt as he heard the slapping sounds of Neil’s bony groin slamming into him.

It was totally unreal, as their hot flesh met each other. How it felt like he was melting, as if his skin was becoming a pool of molten liquid. The way his whole body shook, as if in the middle of a giant earthquake. How the skin shook, from the wild force of Neil’s crashing blows into him.

He cried out, as the pain in his groin matched that in his rectum. His balls seemed like giant balloons, as they were crushed by Neil’s inwards thrusts. Then suddenly he felt it, crying out as he did. The rush of release was fantastic. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, as the hot cream left his balls, his cock shaft suddenly becoming even thicker. The blood was suddenly rushing from everywhere, to his dick. His eyes fluttered, the sudden sharp explosion of lights across them made him suddenly arch his whole body up, just as Neil crashed down into it.

The hand around his cock grew even tighter, as the head reared back, then shot forward. Jeremy felt the hot splash across his chin, then across his neck and down on his upper chest. He felt his mouth open, felt himself screaming, but heard nothing but a roaring crashing sound of thunder. His body shook, as if every single muscle had suddenly uncoiled, has sprung.

Just as he thought it was all over, he heard a distant cry, a distant scream. The fullness inside was suddenly gone, and as he felt his chest heave, he felt more splashes of hot liquid across his belly. He felt the muscles inside rumble, felt the nerves scream as the hot liquid burned his flesh. His whole body was once more convulsing, as the streams of hot cream splashed across his rolling stomach.

As the shaking slowly subsided, he managed to open his eyes, to see a blurred shape above him, slowly fall forward. He felt the weight on his whole body, felt the cooling liquid become squished between the falling body, and his own, felt the sudden beat of another drum near his heart. His eyes flickered, as the stars shone above the damp head that was resting on his own heaving chest.

Looking out at the growing light, Jeremy wished he was back at the river, that Neil hadn’t gone back home. Maybe he could phone him, or something. He would know what to say, how to make him forget these last five weeks, as he remembered how good it had felt, to have his naked body on top of his. How good it had felt, as his softened cock finally was eased out from his own body.

Turning away from the window, he glanced around at the darkened bus. Everyone was in various positions of rest. Some had their mouths open, a few were even snoring as he looked at his classmates. They simply didn’t get it, and he doubted if any ever would. Neil had gotten it, and so what if they teased him. He would always have that, which most of them never would.

He sighed, as his eyes met those of his ex friend, Roger. Jeremy could see how he wasn’t asleep, how he was staring at him. Unlike the other times, he didn’t lower his eyes, nor did he turn away, he stared back at Roger, daring him to make a comment.

Strange, but somehow thinking of Neil, remembering how it had felt, he didn’t fear Roger or the others anymore. He felt different, as if he had something they just never would. Let Roger stare, let the others stare or make their comments. He was who he was, and if they didn’t like it, tough shit. Neil had liked it, and he was certain others would too. The Roger’s of the world suddenly, no longer mattered to him, or scared him.

Jeremy watched as Roger turned his eyes away, almost as if he had read Jeremy’s mind, and Jeremy turned back to look out the window. It felt good, as he watched the sun beginning to rise up on the horizon. He no longer felt ashamed or afraid.