Clearing the Air

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (4)

He felt like he had just been struck by a bus. His whole body was rock solid, as he kneeled there, staring up at Mike. How could he? It was almost too much to grasp, but his hands fell to his side, and he could see the tears rolling down Mike’s face.

‘Did I do something wrong? I mean…’

‘No, no it is just, this is all, please Jeff, not now, not here, I just can’t.’

‘Can’t? But this was, I mean… okay, I never meant it to, you know, I uh…’

As Mike pulled up his shorts, stuffing his hard dick back inside, reaching for his pants, he kept looking away, almost as if he was afraid to look at Jeff. His body was shaking, and as he zipped his pants up, he stepped back a few steps.

‘It just isn’t, not here, I am not saying I can do it, or not, just, just I need some time Jeff, to think about it. I don’t want to lose our friendship, but this; this is happening all at once, you understand, don’t you?’

He really didn’t understand, but he nodded anyways. The disappointment, the sudden pulling back by Mike made his heart quiver a bit, as Mike tightened his belt up. Jeff could still see the bulge and felt like somehow he had been cheated.

Mike was already moving away, and while he said he’d call Jeff later, it felt like he had just lost his best friend. The pain was unlike anything he had experienced before. It was one thing to figure that Mike had thought he was sick, but to let him touch him like that, to come that close, well that seemed cruel, almost heartless.

He couldn’t figure it out, because obviously Mike felt something. If he hadn’t would his dick have gotten that hard, would there have been the precum? Looking out from the clearing, he could see Mike’s distant shape moving through the field. Even from the distance, he felt his desire for him, but now it seemed tainted, as if something he had done, had ruined what they had.

Maybe he shouldn’t have come out to him? He figured he had to, but maybe it was the wrong thing to do. Still, he did get a good look, but now he felt like he had been robbed, cheated of it, because things had gotten out of hand. Sure, he was Gay, he liked dick, and okay, he did want Mike, so maybe he shouldn’t have said anything?

His mouth was always getting him into trouble, but he couldn’t lie to Mike. That just wasn’t their friendship, or maybe it was? Maybe Mike was lying to him now, that maybe he really did think Jeff was some sicko? Maybe all that dropping of the pants, was his way to prove to himself that he was right about Jeff? Could he be that mean?

Slowly he stood up, and looked around at their place. It didn’t seem to be the same anymore. He felt like he was in a strange place, that he didn’t want to stay there, but couldn’t figure out where to go. As he shuffled his feet, while looking around, he saw the tree, and felt a deep sadness.

The countless hours they had spent together, resting under that tree, talking about everything. Well almost everything as he never did try to talk to Mike about how he felt. Maybe if he had tried more, hadn’t been so scared of his reaction, today wouldn’t have turned out the way it had.

So maybe they wouldn’t be best friends, least it wouldn’t be hurting so much right now. Least he’d have had some warning, which might have made him keep his mouth shut this morning, and this afternoon. Christ, what a mess, he thought as he stared back out over the now empty field.

Walking back home, because he really didn’t have anywhere else to go, Jeff kept wondering why Mike had pulled back. Did he freak him out, when he touched his bare leg, his dick? Was it too much for him, or did he actually enjoy it?

Could that be it? Could it be Mike actually found himself enjoying his friends touch, the feelings that were being shared by the touching? Did it freak him out that he could be stiff by some Queer running their finger up and down his cock?

Was Mike maybe a closet Queer himself, and that he didn’t want to come out, least of all to Jeff? Like he had said some pretty shitty things in the morning, then there he was, about to let him suck his dick. Could that be why he pulled back, afraid that if Jeff did actually take his cock into his mouth, he’d give himself away?

It wasn’t like he really had thought Mike was Gay, least not until this particular moment. So he had stood up for some flamer awhile back, but then that had been Mike. He never liked to see guys being picked on, not even the nerds. It was part of who he was, but was it maybe more than that?

Did Mike stick up for them, because deep down he knew that he could be one of those to be picked on, if his secret was known? Christ, he wouldn’t have stopped liking him, and even if Mike had come clean, had told him, he wouldn’t tell anyone?

Shit, it wasn’t like he was going to shout it out that he got to suck Mike’s dick. That was stupid to think, but then if not that, why the fuck did Mike pull away, at the last second? Could it be wanting to get even with him for the things he had said some five years ago? Did Mike see his chance to tease him, to hurt him, when he outed himself in the morning?

Problem was he should have stopped Mike, let it rest for a bit, and not gone along so quickly. Maybe he had seemed too eager, maybe it was just a physical thing. Okay sure it was, he really did want to suck on that dick of his, but it wasn’t like he had asked first. Mike had offered, so he should have gone through with it, unless it was all a joke, a horrible, mean, joke.

Yet that wasn’t Mike. He never held a grudge before now, and he sure as fuck wasn’t the type to be cruel to others. Hell, he was the type who would walk over some insect even, not wanting to crush them. He just wasn’t that kind of guy, least not around him. So why now, why did he pull away?

Jeff had to admit to himself, that this was going to drive him crazy. He couldn’t just leave it, just wait silently until Mike decided to tell him, if he ever did. He needed to know, and as he changed direction, to head towards Mike’s place, he also realized that once more he was risking their friendship.

Fuck, what could he say to him, and what if Mike said he had made a mistake in making the offer? How the fuck would he feel then, or would that matter? He’d have his answer, but no way Mike would drop his pants just like that, if he hadn’t cared, or had some curiosity about it.

Maybe instead of running over there, he should just go him, and let it be? Instead of pushing, be satisfied that he now knew exactly what Mike looked like, hard. After all, wasn’t that part of his whole dream, wish? To see just how big his dick was, what it looked like stiff? He knew, so why push it, why push to see what it would taste like?

Christ, what would he push for once he got that? Would he want to see if he could get Mike to fuck him? After all, he did want to experience that, to experience all of Mike, so maybe Mike knew that? Could it be that Mike didn’t go through with it, because he knew Jeff would want more?

Crap, what he had started by admitting he thought of Mike sexually? It wasn’t like he was unwilling to have let things go, let them not get that far, but now that he had an opening, he was thinking of pushing the limits.

It was all too confusing for him as he once again changed his direction. Going to Mike’s now, was asking for trouble, and he had enough heartache already today. Instead, he thought he should just go home, maybe soak in the tub, and forget about it all. Mike wasn’t going to out him, least he didn’t think so.

He had done what he had wanted to do, by telling Mike about him. He had seen Mike’s dick, touched it too, so in some ways he could consider himself ahead of the game. It almost had become more, that might have satisfied his quest for being satisfied sexually, but then College lay ahead, and maybe he would find someone there.

His trouble was there just wasn’t enough opportunity here, and he was too well known. He was scared of being found out, while off at college, well who cared? It wasn’t like they would be running to tell his teachers or his other friends, because they wouldn’t know them. His parents might know about him, but not like his new college friends would run to tell them, either. So it would be safer, easier to be who he was, without the worry.

Mike knew, and if it became a problem, well again, he’d be at college, away from it. Besides, Mike might not get it, not understand it, and if he was off at college, well maybe he’d come to accept it, to not let it come between them. Sure things might be strained between them until he left for college, but he could cope. Besides he did have a good memory, and he just knew that jerking off would be a lot more fun now.

Certainly wasn’t the ideal situation, he thought, as he made his way back towards his place. It wouldn’t be easy for the last little while, but he could manage. The important thing was he had told Mike, who had freaked, but it hadn’t lasted. Least so far it hadn’t, and if he knew Mike, he’d not let it ruin the remaining time they had together, as friends.

Swimming at their spot might be out now, but then he didn’t mind. He knew what was behind those wet shorts now, so he could handle not seeing that. He had that, and it was Mike who had given it to him. Not like he had done anything secretive to find out, or devious either. He hadn’t lied to him, which had to count for something. Eventually Mike would either understand, or not. By then, well, he’d be in college and it wouldn’t hurt so much.

Jeff was nearly at his front door, before he even realized that there was someone else there. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn’t even recognize the well known shape until he was almost on top of him. Mike was there, leaning up against the small little alcove on the front porch, waiting for him.

He couldn’t help it, but he was both excited and irritated. Jeff was suddenly once more back on edge, his solution to the whole thing gone, as he stared at his long time friend. It wouldn’t be the same, not being so close. No matter what he tried to tell himself, going off to college might solve his sexual desires, but it wouldn’t be half as good, without being able to share it with Mike.

‘Didn’t expect to see you so soon.’

‘I know, uh, no one is home.’

‘Won’t be till after dinner time.’

‘Can we talk?’

‘If you want.’

‘I told you so, didn’t I?’

‘Guess, sure you want to? I mean…’

‘Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.’

Jeff stared at Mike’s face, to see if he was telling the truth. The eyes met, but Mike was having trouble looking back, something he had rarely seen with Mike. It wasn’t like him to not face him, square. Unlocking the front door, he nodded for Mike to go in, who just walked in, but then stood off to the side, waiting for Jeff to close & lock the front door.

They just stared at each other for a second, before Mike finally pushed himself upright, and walked along the corridor, towards the stairs. It was apparent to Jeff, he wanted to talk upstairs, in Jeff’s room and not in the living room. In some way, it surprised him, yet in another way it was more normal. That is where they always talked, rarely downstairs.

Following Mike up the stairs to his own room, he couldn’t help but enjoy the view of his ass. How nice they looked, how tightly they were held by his pants. Two perfect shaped orbs, but his mind kept wandering, despite the view.

Walking into his room, he noticed how Mike was checking it out, as if it was the first time he had been there. It was odd, as he stared at the his small desk, at his closet, and at his bed. It was like he was looking for something, that he hadn’t seen before.

‘Where you keep them?’

‘Keep what?’

‘The skin mags.’

‘You know where they are.’

‘Not those ones, the one’s you get off on, you do have some, don’t you?’

Jeff didn’t get why Mike wanted them, but he went to his closet and opened his backpack. He had them hidden inside, under some old gym stuff, and pulled out a few of them. Turning around he handed them to Mike, who sat down on the bed, and started to flip through them.

He looked closely as Mike stared at the naked guys in the magazines, holding up a few to take a long look at the centerfolds. Just as he did with the girl magazines, but as he watched, he couldn’t tell what was going through Mike’s mind. For some reason, Jeff felt nervous, as if there was some test going on that he was a part of, but didn’t know what part.

The only sound in the room was his heavy breathing, and Mike flipping the damn pages. He came across a few that were stuck together, but didn’t say a word, as he pried them apart, to see what the pictures were. His eyes widened a few times, but his face seemed unimpressed as he just flipped the pages.

Finally he seemed to have enough, and tossed the last one aside, with the rest. He leaned back on his hands, and looked at Jeff. He felt like he was under inspection, and felt the sweat around his forehead, making him even more nervous. He just stood there, waiting for Mike to say something, anything.

‘You think I am Gay, don’t you?’

Jeff felt like he was hit by a ten ton brick. It was the last thing that he had thought of Mike. Looking over at Mike, he knew that Mike was serious, that he was in his ‘I need to know’ mood. It was a bit intimidating, as he pulled up his desk chair, and plopped himself down in it, looking over at Mike.

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Then why? I don’t get it, those guys in the mags, they get you off?’

‘Yeah, sort of.’

‘Sort of?’

‘Look, it isn’t complicated Mike. When you see a girl’s hooters, you get excited, right?’

‘Well yeah, so?’

‘I see a nice dick, I get excited.’

‘Okay so, I don’t…’

‘Why you? I guess ‘cuz I know you, because just like you might get turned on by some nameless broad’s boobs, you think of someone you like, or want. It is the same for me.’

‘Oh, so you uh, you don’t think I am Gay but you want to be with me, uh, that way?’

‘No I don’t think you are, why, do you think you are?’

‘I didn’t, not until you started touching me, it freaked me out Jeff, I never felt that hot, not with any of the girls, least not the same way.’

‘That why you took off?’

‘Yeah, and now I don’t know. I mean those mags, they didn’t do shit for me, but back at the place, well it did. It makes me, wonder.’

He wanted to just sit next to Mike, to hold him close, because he could see he was really scared. It never occurred to him that Mike would feel that way about him, that it would make him feel as good, as it made Jeff. It was all rather odd, and he wondered, if maybe Mike could be.

Yet he had also seen how he had been after a night with his latest girl. Specially when he thought they were right for each other. His eyes would sparkle, his face light up, and that bulge in his pants would be super big. So the odds of him being Gay seemed rather slim to him. Maybe he was bi? But then, no he doubted that too, because nothing in the mags made him seem excited.

Inside he thought he knew the answer, but he didn’t want to think about it, to give it voice. It would only complicate an already complicated situation, or maybe not? The idea that they were that close, that maybe it wasn’t a physical attraction, but a more emotional one, that had let Mike feel what he had felt.

It was kind of flattering too, which he tried to contain. Last thing he needed was to think that Mike could be attracted to him. He had stripped, out of his friendship, not out of wanting Jeff to touch him, to suck him off.

‘Don’t Mike, it isn’t that you are gay, just that we are that close, that me and you, well, it’s about us, not about us both being guys. If you know what I mean.’

‘Sort of like what Jenkins in Science was talking about last semester?’

‘Yeah, like that.’

‘So you wanting me, is just, well, normal?’

‘I don’t know if it is normal, it is, well, ‘cuz we have been through a lot of shit together. Maybe that is all it is.’

Mike looked everywhere but at Jeff, then he pulled himself further up on the bed. His back was up by the headboard, and his legs stretched out, towards Jeff. His face seemed to change shape, as different thoughts passed through his mind. He had seen it before, knowing that Mike was thinking, that he was wrestling with a problem, that he wanted to solve.

Each time in the past, it had been about breaking up with some girl, or asking one out. Each time he had seen it, he had thought how it made Mike look attractive, desirable. Those were the times when it had been really hard for him to not say something, to not just drop his own pants and whack off to how Mike was looking.

Now it was even worse, because he had a suspicion Mike was about to dump him, to tell him that he couldn’t handle the whole gay stuff. Yet maybe not, as he had admitted that it had made him feel good. Maybe he had been telling him the truth, earlier, when he said he just couldn’t do it there, that maybe he was thinking of trying to let Jeff do it again?

‘we have, haven’t we?’

‘yeah.’

‘so, uh, what if I freak again?’

‘then you freak, but just ‘cuz it feels good, doesn’t make you queer.’

‘I guess, man this is weird shit man.’

‘Tell me about it.’

Mike finally looked right at Jeff. His face was still looking uncertain, but the eyes seemed to be convinced. It was weird, to look into his eyes, to see them twinkle a bit, as if they had just pulled a caper on their folks. He smiled at Mike, cocking his head to one side, just like he always did, when they had reached a decision on something, when he had deferred to Mike’s choice.

As he blinked, he saw Mike move a bit, and then watched in awe, as Mike reached around and pulled his shirt up and over his head. For a second, while his face was covered, Jeff could see his bare chest. The golden flesh muted by the room’s light, but there was no mistaking the well formed pecs. How his muscles rippled at his stomach, and more than that, how firm his nipples looked.

The shirt came off, and got tossed at him. He laughed, as he caught it, to put it over on his desk, realizing that Mike was trying to make it seem more normal, more natural, like when he would stay over. How he would just toss his clothes off, stopping with his shorts still around his waist.

Somehow, Jeff was fairly certain they’d be coming off too, as he grinned back at Mike, his smile frozen, when Mike asked if he was just going to sit there, or get ready. For a second he didn’t know what Mike meant, but as he watched his friend undo his buckle, and open the pants, he just found himself standing up, kicking his runners off to the side.

His own shirt was up and off in a flash, as he felt a runner kick him in the leg. Mike had tossed his off, flicking them towards him, and he had to move quickly to avoid the second flying runner.

Then Mike was pushing his pants down, his knees up as he leaned forward to pull them off. His eyes were fixed on Jeff’s body, and he quickly reached down and undid his pants, shoving them down to his ankles. Grasping the chair, he stepped out of them. Standing upright, he saw how Mike was staring directly at him, at his own basket.

He felt like he wanted to put his hands over his crotch, but he resisted. Jeff knew he was aroused, knew that his own shorts were fully tented by his dick, and that Mike could see it all, very clearly. His heart was kicking up in speed, as he tried not to look, but he couldn’t hold out any longer.

Jeff turned his head, to stare at Mike, who was leaning on his knees, his underwear still on. The eyes were staring straight at Jeff’s groin. The eyes were wide open, taking it all in, as Jeff stood there.

Mike leaned back, once he noticed Jeff looking at him. As he did, Jeff couldn’t help but see the huge pole, sticking up from the shorts. It really was like a tent pole, as he licked his lips. It was better than out at their place, as he watched Mike reach down, to slowly push the shorts off his hips. It was as if he was teasing him, as he glanced up, and sure enough he could see the smirk on Mike’s face.

The son of a bitch was enjoying tormenting him, as he let the shorts move slowly down his hips, his stiff dick being pushed down, almost as if it was being aimed at Jeff. What a sadistic bastard he thought, as he found himself grinning, watching with baited breath, for the sudden plop of the hard dick, as it came free from the underwear.

The bed shook a bit, as Mike’s dick sprung free, and his body settled back down into the mattress. Jeff saw it jerk, saw it waver and then steady itself, in a very erect position, from the middle of Mike’s crotch. His own dick was aching as he watched how quickly Mike pulled the shorts down, then pulled one leg up and out of the leg hole. The other leg held the empty shorts, as Mike flicked his leg outward, shooting the errant underwear across the room.

Jeff couldn’t help but follow it as it flew past towards his bedroom door. Then he turned his attention back to Mike, as he pushed his own shorts down. He too was fully erect, and he saw the glimmer in Mike’s eyes as he saw it. It was like he really was aroused by it, that somehow it did excite him, which only made him ache more, as he stood there, fully naked before his best friend.

‘uh, no kissing right?’

‘huh? oh, yeah, sure whatever you want.’

‘Serious man, I don’t think I could handle that mushy stuff, I mean, fuck, you always get that stiff when you see another dick?’

‘No, least not until now.’

‘Really?’

Jeff looked up from staring at Mike’s dick, and saw how he was really amazed by his comment. In some ways, he thought his friend’s chest has swelled up a bit, out of pride, and yet he couldn’t help but notice that he was nervous. His hand was twitching, the fingers tapping the top of the mattress, and his legs weren’t exactly spread fully apart either, as if trying to hide his crotch.

‘You sure you want to do this Mike? I mean if it’s too much…’

Mike just looked at him for a split second, and then down at Jeff’s own aroused dick.

‘No, I am not sure.’

‘We don’t have to Mike.’

Fuck it Jeff, we been friends a long time, and I don’t know, it feels weird, yet in a good way, so yeah, maybe I guess I do, uh, you do, don’t you?’

Jeff couldn’t help but smile, as he slowly moved forward, to climb up onto the bed. He let his hand move up, to rest on Mike’s knee, feeling him jerk back a little, then relax. It was suddenly like there was nothing else around. No clock ticking over by his desk, no wind moving the drapes by his desk. Nothing else seemed to exist, as he stared down at Mike’s groin, at the hard dick that was sticking up, jerking a little with each breath that Mike took.

He took a deep breath, as he leaned back a little, gazing at the offered prize, from his friend. He could feel him, feel his presence inside, then he felt his hand move up and rest on top of his own. He felt the sweat on the palm of Mike’s hand, as it lay on his own, feeling his own nervousness, as he finally looked upwards.

It was all he needed, the way Mike looked at him, as his own body shook, as he gently pulled on the knee, to push it out of the way. His own body moved around, as Mike’s leg pushed past under him, brushing past his balls. Jeff felt his body quiver, as the toes brushed past his sac, making him tremble deep inside.

His eyes closed, as he leaned forward, smelling Mike’s man scent, smelling his aroma. His mouth opened, as he felt Mike’s hand reach over to rest on Jeff’s head, as it lowered over the hot throbbing cock. He could feel it, as he let his mouth open, as his lips pursed, and then he felt the tip of it, just under his chin.

Jeff’s entire body shook, as if an earthquake had just rumbled full force right under him. His legs shook, his arms were quivering, as he felt the sticky precum make the cock slide up, as his tongue licked out, to gather it inside, brushing past the hot cock head.

The eye lids opened, to stare at the oval shaped head, that was almost at his lips. He could see the hairs of Mike’s groin standing up, see the veins around the whole shaft pulsing, as the blood rushed through them all. Then the eye lids closed, as he tasted the salty pre cum and felt its warmth across his lips.

He felt them tingle, as they parted, as he drew back his lips over his teeth, as Mike’s head began to enter Jeff’s mouth. He could feel the hand tighten around some of his hair, twisting the strands around the fingers, and pulling, then pushing, on them. His whole body became stiff, as he lowered his mouth over the cock, tasting the hot flesh, tasting the saltiness of the flesh. It surprised him a bit, as he felt the legs quiver, as his hands reached out to hold onto both knees, pushing them aside a little, as his head lowered even more, to gobble up more of the hard pole.

Jeff heard a small gasp, a bit of a rumbling groan as his lips slid down the side of the cock head, to rest just underneath the cap of the head. He could feel the blood pulsing now, feel the electricity passing between them both, and for a moment, he was certain he could feel Mike’s heart beat, next to his own.

As his mouth moved down, the hand on top moved away, and he felt the bed shake, as the fist was slammed down onto the mattress. He didn’t stop, as he let his tongue begin to lick up, the tip just barely able to move inside the mouth, as Mike’s cock filled every inch of Jeff’s mouth.

His throat was sore, but trying to stretch, as he continued to let his head move downwards, gradually taking more of the cock shaft into his mouth, gradually letting his tongue lick at the pulsing underside of the shaft. He could feel Mike shaking, feel the knees beside him quivering. His fingers gripped both knees tightly, until the fingers were touching the bony knee caps themselves.

He moaned a bit, as he tasted the pre cum sliding down his throat, as his nostrils were breathing in that scent, that was all Mike. Christ it smelled so good, so rich and full, as he continued to lick at the shaft, as it filled his mouth and throat with its size. His teeth grated over a bit of the top, but it didn’t seem to be noticed by Mike. Instead Jeff felt the bed vibrate a bit more, as he finally managed to have it all inside his mouth.

Jeff felt his nostrils flare, felt the tip of his nose pressing into the warm soft belly of Mike’s groin. The tiny pubic hairs were itching at his upper lip, and a few had managed to work their way inside his nostrils. He didn’t care, as he felt his chest heave, felt his body shudder. This is more than he had ever hoped for, as he tasted the hard flesh inside. It was everything he had ever hoped for, more even, as he slowly let his head move back, to let the long thick pole slide out from between his lips.

Twice more he managed to slowly move down, then up, to where Mike’s cock was almost out of his mouth, before beginning to slide it back inside. His tongue licked at the head, at just under the band of skin that formed the ridge of the head, when Mike’s hand suddenly was once more over his head, grabbing at his hair.

Jeff felt him grab hold, taking a huge handful of his hair in his fist, but instead of wrapping them around his fingers, he just held them, the back of his fist pushing down on Jeff’s head. His body was arching up, at the same time. Jeff struggled to resist, to set the pace, but Mike was much stronger than him, and he felt himself giving in.

He felt the pubic hairs prickling his cheek, under his nose, then felt the hard press of the belly into his face. The hand held him tightly, as the body arched up, then pulled back, then arched back upwards. It drove itself into his held head, the cock pushing past and down into his throat in several quick thrusts.

Jeff felt himself gagging a bit, but Mike didn’t let go, didn’t stop, as his whole body arched up again and again. Each thrust up trying to bury his cock deeper into Jeff’s open throat. He ignored the muffled gags, and Jeff could hear Mike’s panting breath now. His own heart was pounding loudly, but he heard the harsh gasps for air, as his head was held tightly, as Mike’s hard body kept pumping into his face.

He struggled to pull back, but Mike’s other hand now joined the first, holding his head steady, as Mike’s lower body pummelled into Jeff’s mouth. He felt the flesh strike him hard, felt his chin dig deep into the groin. Felt the tough leather of Mike’s scrotum, as his chin hit the balls, that swung and slapped against Mike’s thighs. He wanted to stop, to have Mike slow down, but he couldn’t.

It wasn’t like anything he had ever experienced, as Mike crushed his body upwards into his mouth. The hands clenched tightly, grabbing at his sweat soaked hair, and then he heard the animal like cry, that was coming from just above him. He knew what it meant, out of instinct, but as he tried to ready himself, the first stream was filling his mouth.

Jeff had tasted cum before, had sucked on a guy’s dick till it shot its load, but it was nothing like this. He felt his eyes water, felt his body tremble, as the hot sticky liquid began to fill the very bottom of his throat, as it’s sticky fluid seemed to flow in two directions at once. Some making its way down the quivering throat, the rest going upwards, coating the thick pole lodged between his throat muscles. Then it seemed to just flood his mouth, as the cock jerked again, adding more of the hot jizz.

He could feel it all, feel how Mike’s body was suddenly shaking, how his hands were now wrapped around and underneath, pulling Mike’s buttock upwards, pulling all of Mike’s dick deep into his throat.

Jeff felt himself swallowing, felt the sticky taste coating the sides of his throat, as the cry echoed in his bedroom. The hands holding his head, relaxed, then fell to the side, making the bed bounce, as they hit it. He felt his whole body shaking, felt the taste of Mike’s cream making his head swoon a bit, as he felt a bit faint.

Slowly he felt himself pulling his head back, the cock slowly sliding out from between his lips, until finally it was free. He leaned back, on his arms, and his eyes had trouble adjusting to the light of the room, as he felt his chest still pounding, felt his lungs still screaming for air.

As he managed to adjust to the light of the room, as the pain around his jaw became duller, he stared up and over at Mike. He felt his legs on either side of him, and as he looked, he noticed a sort of sheen across of all Mike’s naked body. He could see the sweat that had matted his friend’s hair, but it was the eyes that held his attention.

How alive they were, how much they shone, even in the daylight of the room. It was like staring into a bright searchlight, as they peered at him, making him ache.

‘Christ’

‘Mike, I…’

‘Jesus, I never, fuck Jeff, all guys like you suck like that?’

Jeff could feel his own chest swell up, as he stared at his friend. He just looked at him, then felt how his foot was rubbing his. Looking down at it, then up at Mike, he noticed that his dick wasn’t all that soft, and as he stared up into his face, he saw him get that look, that one, that preceded a coming decision.

BoyFunk’s Oliver seems to fit this particular scene quite nicely.

( click above image for larger view )

See Oliver’s Videos at BOYFUNK HERE

There is just something about Oliver, that grabbed my attention. It was almost like I was drawn to him, as I thought about how to write this particular episode of the story. Seeing the stills, well, what can I say, it helped a lot in figuring out how this portion would go.

Anointing of the Man Child

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (6)

Everything seemed so hushed, so quiet that it gave him a bit of the shakes. He knew that he was in a hospital, that there were people all around him, and Blake could even distinguish some of the words too. Like when someone had asked who was in there, meaning his cubicle, he had heard clearly the female voice mention the queer boy. Even here, he wasn’t free of the anger, the disdain, but he didn’t seem to think much about it. All he could think of was how Trent had looked. How they all looked, and that seemed to be enough.

The way they all seemed to act, when they had examined him, had prodded his bruised and battered body, was making him feel like he had never made it to the Frat House. The coldness, the blank stares as the two men in uniform stood while the Doctor examined him, and the female nurse took blood, all the time he was stretched out naked on the hard bed. Even his dorm room bed was softer, but he put up with it, too tired to protest.

All he could think of was how angry the voices sounded, how they laughed as they took their turns pissing on him, making him swallow it, making him be a part of their sickness. Every time he thought about it, he shivered, and it seemed like the images of that time would never leave. He felt terrified about what would next time bring, and he knew, deep inside, that there would be one.

He had no idea why, but he just knew it would happen again. Blake feared it, as he lay there, alone. His only contact was with the hospital staff, who after their initial exams, seemed to avoid him. There was the tall figure next to the closed curtain, who had to be a cop. You could tell by how he stood there, and how his shadow looked. It was eerie to see, because he could almost feel the man’s disgust at being there.

Not everyone was that way, least he didn’t think so. The one nurse who had come in after, who had covered his naked body with a sheet, when no one else had. How she had wiped his face, and given him some water to sip. She didn’t say much, but he had felt better, when she was there.

The pain in his body wasn’t so bad, but he was certain that was due to the drugs they had given him, but they just didn’t seem to totally dull the pain. Every time he moved, he could feel the pain in his chest, in his legs. His body ached, but it wasn’t like how it had been as he had made his way to the Frat House.

The curtain parted and there was the doctor. He was dressed in green and as he looked over at him, he could see his disdain, see his feelings as if he had shouted them out. The way his eyes would barely look at him, but concentrate on the clipboard in his hand. How he stood so erect, and distant. It was like he really didn’t want to get any closer, and the gloves.

Blake couldn’t help but notice how he had come in with them on, as did the other hospital staff. Only the one nurse that had covered him, hadn’t come in wearing them. It was like they were all afraid of touching him, of even being in the same room without their rubber protection. It made him feel so dirty, and he didn’t know why.

He could make out what was being said, barely, and he knew that he was lucky to have survived, but the way the man spoke to him, listing all that had been done to him, then telling him how lucky he was, even hinting that in some way he should be thankful they hadn’t done more. Worse, was how he made it sound like maybe he had simply exaggerated it a bit, that in some way he may have actually been a willing participant. The officer seemed to have a scowl, as he too looked at Blake with that sort of disbelief in his face, that implied they weren’t convinced he hadn’t done anything to provoke the attack. Hell the Doctor looked like he didn’t even believe it was an attack, as if he would go out and want people to kick him, to do all that to him.

While the drugs they had given him were dulling the pain, he still could feel their hatred, their anger at him. He didn’t understand, he hadn’t done anything, why did they hate him? What had he done to make them feel so afraid of him? It wasn’t like he had asked those guys to grab him, to beat him, to abuse him, yet they seemed to think he had. It made no sense, they didn’t know him, know what he was like or how he thought.

His mind kept going over it, wondering what he had done wrong. What had he said or done to anyone, that made them want to hurt him like they had? He didn’t even know who they were, which everyone seemed to not believe. If he knew, he would have told them, but the Policeman who questioned him, seemed to not believe it. He had kept asking who had he propositioned, who had he flirted with, as if he was some slut or something.

The man had made it sound like somehow he had been responsible. That maybe he had come on to someone he shouldn’t have, or pushed it when he had been told the person wasn’t queer. No one seemed to believe him, that he didn’t think anyone knew he was gay, other than at the Frat House. The Policeman even suggested if maybe it was one of them, who had maybe been rejected by him. Like any of them would do that, but laying there, he began to wonder, to question.

It wasn’t right, he knew that, still the doubts were all inside of him, still pressing on him while the Doctor said he could leave, but not to have sex till the scars inside healed. Like he hadn’t had that kind of sex yet, but the man seemed to think he was going to rush out to get butt fucked. It didn’t make sense, at how uncaring they seemed.

The way he had handed him the prescription for pain killers, how he held it at the tip, afraid that even the touch of his gloved hand to his bare fingers would give him some incurable disease. How his face looked as he told him that he could get dressed, as if wishing he could just shoo him out now.

It wasn’t easy either, as he wondered where he could go, if going back to the Dorm was even possible, given how his body felt, let alone whether it was safe to do so. The Policeman just stood there, like a rock really, and then as the Doctor had left, he had stepped outside too, as if unwilling to even breath the same air.

His whole body throbbed as he moved his feet to dangle over the bed, as he stared at the chair, with his dirty clothes. He could smell them, feeling the panic inside as he tried to think, tried to make sense out of it all. He had been attacked, and now was being told to go, to shuffle off with some pain pills. That was it, though the Cop had said something about going to the station the next day.

As he looked at his dirty clothes, the curtain moved and he glanced over to see Trent. His heart skipped a beat as his eyes searched Trent’s face, for the same signs of disgust he was becoming used to. Instead he saw concern, but more than that he saw he was holding some clothes.

‘Not sure they’ll fit, but it was the best I could get in such short notice. You okay?’

‘I think so’

‘Yeah, well they say you can leave.’

Blake stared at Trent, who seemed to be shuffling from one foot to another. As of yet, he had barely looked at him, his head was hanging down, but for a brief instant, Blake could only think of how much he had wanted to be with him tonight, that it was somehow changed.

‘Uh huh, just…’

‘Look, not sure what you want to do, but uh, well the guys at the House, they have a room made up for you, and if you want, I can hang around too. We have a car outside, and we can get some of your stuff from your dorm on the way, if you want, I mean, unless you…’

‘No, no, that would be, I didn’t do anything Trent, honest, I tried to get away, they, there were too many of them…’

He didn’t know why, but he felt like he had to say it, to convince Trent that it wasn’t his fault. He knew inside it wasn’t, but no one else seemed to believe him. It hurt, more than the pain from his bruised ribs, or from inside his buttocks. He needed Trent to believe him, at least have one person believe him.

‘Hey, no one is blaming you, come on man, you are the one who got shit kicked, why? They saying you set this all up?’

‘I don’t know, I just, they, I don’t know, they gave me something for the pain, it’s hard to think, it is just… they really going to let me stay at the house?’

‘Of course, if you want. I mean, you don’t want to go back to your dorm do you?’

‘NO, no, I don’t know, no, I uh, Trent why?’

‘Huh? Why what?’

‘Why did they do this to me? What did I do?’

Trent looked at him, and Blake could feel his eyes on him. The way he looked at him, but it was different than before. He couldn’t put his finger on it, be he felt it, felt the difference. It was as if maybe Trent did believe he had asked for it, that maybe he wasn’t so sure that he had been blameless. Before, he had seen how Trent stared at him, how he had checked him out, but now, now his eyes never seemed to go that far down. Blake felt himself shiver, as he looked over at Trent, feeling worse than when he had been kicked.

‘I don’t know Blake, I really don’t, but look, let’s get you to the Frat House, and well, we can try to figure it out later, here, put these on, and I’ll uh, I’ll wait outside. Holler when you are dressed, and I’ll help you out to the car.’

Blake watched as Trent moved a step closer, and put the bundled up clothes next to him. He saw him glance up, saw the tears in his eyes, yet he felt a chill, as he reached out, to touch Trent’s hand. He felt him flinch, as Trent looked upwards at him.

‘You do believe me, don’t you?’

He felt like the world was standing still, as he saw Trent take a deep breath, as his whole body seemed to gather itself up, as if bracing for being hit by a huge wave or something. Blake could see how his body tensed up, how the muscles seemed to tighten.

‘Course I do’

‘Then why, why are you acting like, like I had made this happen, I thought, I mean after last night… I am sorry, the drugs, but I uh, oh shit Trent, I really did try…’

‘No, no it isn’t your fault.’

He didn’t know how or why, but he had to know. He felt so frightened, yet he couldn’t let it go, couldn’t stop from pushing Trent. What they had done, did it not mean anything to Trent? Had last night just been a sex thing, or had it meant something to Trent, as it had to him? Blake had to know, even if his words were slurred, even if it hurt to speak from the ache in his jaw. He had to know.

‘Then why? Why are you afraid to look at me? Please, I don’t need, I mean, this is hard enough, Trent, please, what did I do wrong?’

‘You didn’t do nothing wrong, it isn’t your fault, it’s mine.’

‘Yours? I don’t… I can’t, I mean shit, Trent I am so confused, how is, I mean…’

Deep inside, he felt his body shudder. He could see the tears now, see them rolling down Trent’s face, as he spoke, as his whole body began to quake a bit. It was almost as if he was going to fall down, the way he couldn’t look at Blake, yet as he spoke, Blake realized that last night hadn’t been just about sex.

‘It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have taken you to the bushes, course I believe you, but how can, don’t you see Blake? I should have been more careful…’

The pain was there, inside of him, yet as he listened to the haltingly spoken words, felt the agony in them, he couldn’t help but feel sad for Trent. In a way, it was as if Trent had been the one kicked, pissed on, not him, as he let his hand rest on Trent’s.

‘Help me get dressed, please?’

Trent lifted his head up, and Blake could see the gratitude in the face, the way he lifted up an arm and wiped away the tears that were rolling down his face. He also felt a strange warmth growing between them.

‘You sure?’

‘Yeah’

Leaving the Hospital and going back to the Frat House was filled with silence. There were three others with Trent, two he hadn’t seen before. They looked more like linebackers than anything, but their presence made things difficult. He didn’t know what to say, even after they made him sign a slew of papers before he could leave. Even the Police left before him, again telling him to call the station in the morning.

In some way, they all seemed in a hurry to get him to leave, then did what they could, to make it as difficult as possible. He was exhausted, as they pushed paper after paper towards him, not even letting him do it sitting. He could feel the anger too, from the guys with Trent. Specially the one who had been in charge last night. He was there, and for the first time, Blake noticed how his face would puff up when he was angry, how his eyes seemed to be glazed over with anger, as the Nurse kept handing him papers to sign.

Still, the ride back to the Frat House seemed even more ominous. The way they all talked in hushed voices, when they spoke. In some way, it was like they were afraid to speak normally as if it would upset him or something. It felt creepy, as he sat next to the Senior, whose name he couldn’t remember. Everything was still a bit hazy, as the drugs kept the pain at bay, but also made his mind go off on weird trips.

The way he would find himself staring out the side window, at the reflection of the three in back, Trent being one of them. He had saw how he kept watching him, his eyes constantly glued on him, as if he was afraid he would bolt out of the car. He felt uneasy, unsure what everyone was thinking, the way they would quickly glance away when eye contact was made. It was like they were ashamed of him.

Everything said seemed to have double meanings to him. He knew he was being paranoid, or least he hoped he was. The way one had said that they should have kept him in hospital overnight, made him think they really didn’t want him at the Frat House, or to be here with him. He still wasn’t sure why it took so many either.

Maybe Trent had needed others to be along, so he wouldn’t have to talk to him? That went through his mind several times, and then maybe the Senior was there, because he wanted to make sure Blake didn’t talk about the rituals at the Frat House?

When one of the big guys opened a window, he imagined it was because the guy couldn’t stand the smell of him in the car. He even tried to sniff himself, to see how badly he smelled, but moving was hard, and painful. His ribs were taped up, which made his breathing difficult, let alone move around.

Arriving at the Frat House was a relief, until the car moved up the driveway, and then sat there. Everyone seemed to be looking out, and then the driver honked the horn in three quick bursts. Lights sprung up almost immediately and he felt like he was in the centre ring of the circus.

A few more guys came out of the House, looking rather large too and for some reason he felt himself shrinking back into the seat. He didn’t know why, but it felt like they were coming for him, that maybe it was all a trap. How did he know they were Gay? He only had Trent’s word for it, and panic was starting to take hold, as he heard the back doors of the car open up. He flinched as the driver looked over at him.

‘It’s okay, we are just making sure no one is around, it’s cool Blake, you aren’t the first one to get blindsided on Campus.’

‘I uh, I uh…’

‘It’s okay Blake, you can trust them.’

He managed to turn his head to see Trent looking at him, one hand lightly on Blake’s shoulder. The panic subsided as he nodded, feeling the pain in his chest at the same time. He winced, but managed a weak grin, as Trent got out and came over to his side of the car. Looking up at him, he saw him look around, then open the door, to help him out.

Blake found himself out of breath by the time he had made his way to the stairs. He glanced up at the long winding staircase of the old house, where the rooms were, and grimaced. He knew it was going to be a long haul, but he gripped the banister. A hand, looking like a huge ham, appeared on top of his. He felt its warmth as he turned to stare over at a huge giant of a guy.

‘Max and I, we’ll give you a lift up. No stairs for a bit.’

He felt his body suddenly being hefted up like he was just a sack of feathers, and found himself suddenly being cradled. There were two of them, with a third coming up behind as they moved effortlessly up the stairs, with him.

Once at the top they didn’t even stop, but walked down the hall towards the end. They set him down on the big bed that felt so soft, he almost leaned back to let it comfort all of his body. Glancing up he thanked the two, who just muttered ‘no problem’ then left. He sat there, staring at the ornate room. Finally his eyes moved towards the door, where Trent stood.

‘It’s reserved for visiting alumni, in case you are wondering. The other rooms are two singles and there is a common bathroom, This one has its own, just through that door.’

‘Thanks, It’s huge.’

‘Yeah, look, uh, I can run the water for a bath, if you want? It’s got the full works.’

‘I’d like that, not sure I can make it in, but I uh, I need to, you know…’

‘There is a shower if you’d prefer?’

‘I think I can manage that.’

‘You can have a bath, I’ll help you if you want, I don’t mind, uh, I mean…’

‘I’d like that, uh, will they let you? I mean, can you stay for a bit? I don’t think I want to be, to be alone.’

‘As long as you want, uh, they uh, they are really good about all this, I mean, shit that doesn’t sound right.’

‘I think I know what you mean, uh, this isn’t the first time, is it? Happening to uh, guys like me?’

‘No, though they don’t, you know, they don’t talk about it, but uh, I uh, I’ll run that water and bring you a towel out. Okay?’

‘Yeah sure, thanks.’

Blake watched Trent as he walked into the bathroom. It was almost as if he couldn’t wait to get out of the room, yet at the same time he was staying, helping him. He didn’t know what to make of it all, just that somehow Trent was thinking it was all his fault, but that was stupid. If anyone was to blame, it was him. After all, no one just grabbed a stranger, and did what they did to him, without him having done something. Everyone at the Hospital thought that, they had to know, after all, they were the one’s who dealt with it. Even the Cops that showed up, seemed to think he had done something to provoke it, so they would know.

Thing was, he just didn’t know what he had done. He kept thinking of it, wondering who he had pissed off like that? It had to be someone in the dorm, but who? There were a couple who might fit the build of the guys, but he didn’t know them, hadn’t spoken to them, or even really seen them much. So it was a mystery, one that was tearing at him, inside.

It was scary too, because while it was all nice and safe here, what about tomorrow? Wasn’t like he was going to be allowed to stay here, plus he had classes to go to. How was he going to do that? Maybe he’d get a few days off, but he’d have to ask someone. Trent might know, but he didn’t want to ask him. Maybe he should think of just going home?

Then too, how would he explain that one to his parents? He couldn’t tell them what happened, and he suddenly grew paler, as he wondered if the Cops had already told them? What about the hospital? Were some of those papers he signed, giving them permission to call his family? Shit, that would get his mother in tears, and sure wouldn’t make it easy. And if he did decide to quit, what would his father say? He was one of those who believed a man had to take his lumps.

As his mind was conjuring up all the difficulties ahead, he had missed seeing Trent coming back. He flinched as Trent was suddenly there, in front of him. His whole body shook, as he stared up at him. A huge towel in one hand. He tried to smile, but his mind was still thinking about his parents, about how to tell them he wanted to come home.

‘Uh, sorry, didn’t mean to startle you.’

‘It’s okay, guess I am jumpy.’

‘I know, uh, want some help in uh, getting that stuff off?’

‘Could you? My arms are… what about the bandages? Can I, I mean…’

‘Yeah they said you could get them wet. Come on, I’ll uh, I’ll give you a hand, then you can lean on me. Not like I can carry you like Max and Gordie did.’

He felt his chest ache a bit, as Trent moved in closer. He could smell his cologne, remembering how he had smelled it just the other night. It made him relax a bit, as he felt his borrowed clothes being taken off. Blake watched, in a sort of detached manner, as Trent carefully removed the shirt, then the pants. It was sort of sexy, actually, but he didn’t feel his dick rising to the moment, and he wondered, would it turn Trent off?

Did he even still want him? How much of what had been done did he know? Blake found himself trying to think, to remember if he had said anything about the details, or if Trent had heard him telling the Police? Did he tell them? He just couldn’t remember, things were still pretty foggy, and yet he could still feel the pain, the kicks.

‘You okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?’

Blake suddenly realized that he must have flinched or something. There was a look of worry on Trent’s face, and he was leaning over, pulling the pant leg off, but had stopped when he had spoken.

‘No, no, sorry, guess I was just… no you didn’t hurt me.’

‘You sure? I mean…’

‘I am sure Trent.’

He found himself leaning heavily on Trent, as they made their way to the bathroom. He found he was enjoying it, in a strange way. Maybe it was wrong, but he liked the way Trent smelled, the way he felt holding him. Still, he had this notion that it was wrong, that he shouldn’t be thinking of last night, or of his touch. It felt wrong, but another part of him seemed to crave it, to want it.

Getting into the tub was awkward, but finally Trent managed to get his legs over the side, and into the hot water. It felt so good, that he sighed. The way the hot water seemed to wrap itself around him, finding every sore spot, just making it all feel better. Maybe it was the drugs and the hot water, or maybe it was Trent being there, he wasn’t sure which, but that it all felt good.

Slowly he let the hot water work its magic. He let Trent shampoo his hair, and the smell of it made him relax even more. Or was it Trent’s touch? He was still feeling confused about that, about how much he wanted him, yet how it didn’t seem to get him showing it. In a sense, it was as if that part of him was still in shock, was still trying to forget what had happened.

In a sort of convoluted logic, he kept thinking that if he hadn’t been such a whore the night before, letting go of himself in front of everyone, in going to the bushes with Trent, that what happened earlier wouldn’t have. It was stupid, or was it? Obviously someone had seen him, or gotten wind of his secret, or tonight wouldn’t have occurred. Yet as much as he tried, he couldn’t think of anyone he had flirted with, or given the wrong idea too.

That simply wasn’t him, so it had to be someone who had seen him, who seen him go into the bushes with Trent? Did he talk in his sleep, had he blurted it out at night, and his dorm roommate hear him? Could it be Trent’s roommate? He didn’t know, which only made him think it had to be someone who saw them, who came upon them going into the woods. It was his fault, for giving in to his need to be with another guy.

It had all seemed so right then, but now, now he felt like maybe he had pushed it too far. Maybe it was a sign, a signal that was trying to warn him off, to make him change? Just as the Preacher had tried to do, so many years ago? Strange, here he was naked in a tub of water, and he couldn’t get it up, even with a hot guy next to him. It was like his mind was trying to ignore his thoughts, ignore how he felt about Trent.

Yet all night, he hadn’t been able to think of anything else, to think of what it would be like, to have Trent buried deep inside of him, to feel the pain or pleasure that being in Trent might give him. Now all he could think of, was how he had let his evil hurt himself. It had to be that, just as the Preacher had said, as so many said.

Blake sighed, as he let Trent help him stand up, as he looked down to see how limp he was. He felt like it had been the cause of it all, that his dick had gotten him into trouble. It didn’t make sense, but he couldn’t think of any other reason, other than that. He sighed, feeling the pain still, as if the bath hadn’t even been taken.

He might smell better, no longer from stale piss, or dirt or vomit. Yet inside, he felt like he could still smell it, still feel it over his body. Even looking at Trent didn’t seem to dispel the feeling, as he was dried off, and helped back to the bedroom. His legs felt heavier, his heart even heavier. The drugs might dull the physical pain, but they weren’t doing anything for his mind. He couldn’t stop thinking of it, even as he felt the cool sheets over his body. All he could think of was that somehow his sexual firsts had led to being punished.

‘I’ll be in that chair, so uh, just holler if you need anything during the night, okay?’

Blake managed to smile at Trent, but he could clearly see his worry, and his guilt. What he had to feel guilty about he still didn’t understand, besides he knew it hadn’t been Trent’s fault.

‘Okay.’

He saw how Trent made himself appear comfortable in the chair. He had a blanket over him, and he put his feet up on a stool. Turning his head away, he closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would overtake him, that it would end the constant pulsing of his mind. Blake felt the tiredness, felt the dull ache as he settled into the soft mattress, wondering what it would have been like if he hadn’t been given his signal, his sign? Would he have gone all the way with Trent?

Blake felt himself drifting up, with thoughts of what it might have been like, if he hadn’t screwed up so badly. Maybe that was it, maybe he had somehow signalled others, so as to not meet Trent later? Did he maybe try to get out of his planned tryst by flirting with someone? It could be, though he couldn’t think of how, or when, or even with whom. It was just a mystery to him, as the sleep came.

As part of his mind tried to figure it all out, to find out who he had maybe pissed off, the other part of his mind was dredging it all back up. He could feel the hands reaching for him, feel them dragging him back into the darkness of the woods. He felt his heart pounding, felt himself screaming for help, until the blow came. He could hear the hate in the voice telling him to shut up. It all was there, as if it was still happening. The boots to the side, the stream of piss splashing against his lips, down his throat.

Blake could feel himself gagging, as they took turns. He could taste it, feel the ache in his stomach too. It was like it was happening, as he tried to stop it, as he struggles to scream out NO