Uncle Dan

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (2)

There was no doubt, Bobby had been special. Thinking of him today, was like being young again. The pain in his legs, in his hands, didn’t seem to hurt so much, when he thought about his brief time with Bobby. He had learned so much then, hell, they both had. It wasn’t like either of them were what the kids today would call experienced.

Yet they seemed to know enough to make their time together memorable, something the new generation didn’t quite get. It wasn’t just about the sex, never really was, least not between him and Bobby. It had been about them, about being able to just be themselves, to touch when they felt the need, to experience each other, when they needed to.

Looking around the kitchen, he remembered that time Bobby came to his house, for dinner. His Mother had made such a fuss over him, specially when he helped peel the carrots, the potatoes, and even helped her slice them all up. It was like how it might be, if Bobby had been a daughter to her, and oh how she had fussed over him.

It hadn’t been that way at first, as his Mother was very protective of him. His father didn’t have a clue, thought it was just a friend from the route, and didn’t have an inkling about what was between him and Bobby. Thinking back, he was pretty certain his mother did. After all, the way she had glared at Bobby when he first showed up, how her words were guarded, clipped even.

Dan had sensed her disapproval at first, but resigned himself to it. He doubted she would understand how he felt about Bobby, or what they shared, and thought better of trying to make her understand. Yet Bobby had worked his own magic, as he had with Dan.

In less than a half hour, he was a favourite, a true gentlemen, his mother had pronounced afterwards. It felt so good, to have her sudden approval, but it was Bobby that had made it happen. How he had smiled, had managed to find her weakness, and use it to get her approval. He was good at that, and as he sat in his empty kitchen, he missed it too.

There had been several since Bobby, some a lot better looking, some hung better, but none had come close to reaching his heart as Bobby had. Hell, he couldn’t even remember most of their names, let alone what they looked like. Yet with Bobby, he could see his features now, as if he was sitting right across from him, this second.

How his hair moved in the wind, how a certain bunch of curly hair at his right ear would always hang different than the rest of his hair, how it would seem to defy the wind, and never blow with it, but against it. Then too, that was Bobby as well. He never seemed to go with the flow, or just take things in stride.

There was so much to Bobby, that he doubted he knew it all, even now. Course, how could he, which only made him look down into his coffee cup, realizing how he had missed his chance. Bobby had always wanted to live life, to experience it, and going to war wasn’t high on his list of experiences to have. Yet when his lottery number had come up, he had been pragmatic about it.

At first he had thought about going up to Canada, to avoid it, but then his Mother wasn’t well, and he couldn’t see himself sitting up in Canada, unable to come to her side, if needed. Unfortunately, he never was able to come to her side, as she died while he was off serving in Viet Nam, doing his bit to secure his countries freedom. Bobby never really saw it that way, and frankly, neither did Dan.

Yet it was his desire to be near her, that had kept him from leaving, from taking up roots in a strange country. Maybe if he had, things might have worked out differently, both for him and Bobby. Though in all honesty he doubted it. Just as Bobby wouldn’t leave his family, how could he?

Dan knew though, that if Bobby had asked, he would have gone with him to Canada. Things were different for people them, they had a Prime Minister who didn’t think it was anyone’s business what two adults did in their bedrooms, something he wished today’s leaders would understand. Still, he would have gone, but Bobby never asked, nor did he go up North.

The whole draft thing, the whole serving your nation thing, changed Bobby too. As his time to ship off, for training, grew closer, the laughter in his eyes, the easy banter between them seemed to end. Things were different, and they fought too. That wasn’t something he was used to, as he really never knew what would set Bobby off.

The coffee went down the wrong way, as he coughed, trying not to choke, as he remembered that time, just before Bobby left him. It was about ten days before he was due to leave, when he had just shown up on the route. That was unusual for Bobby, but he had stood off to the side, watching all the kids yammering at Dan, pushing their quarters towards him, begging for bigger scopes, or changing their minds from one flavour to another.

He just stood there, watching. Every now and then, Dan would glance up, to see the once happy eyes, looking mournful, dark, and morose. He couldn’t ever recall feeling so helpless as he did that day. Seeing Bobby unhappy, was painful, as he knew he had fallen hook, line, and sinker for the guy. And in all honesty, it really wasn’t about the sex either.

Sure it was convenient, it meant they could enjoy their brand of sex, without the risks that others faced. If they just kept their desire hidden, had their fun where no one could happen on them, they were safe to enjoy it. No worries if the guy they were approaching was an undercover narc, or worse, straight.

Why he was dwelling on this, he had no idea. Maybe it was simply that today, he was no longer a working stiff. His day job was to sit back, do whatever he wanted. No getting up to fill vats, to check the quality of each tub of ice cream he produced, or to even load the truck, that would never drive a route again. He was out of the business, about to become a fading memory to those he had known for decades.

Change never had been something he liked, or sought either. He still wore the same shorts, the same socks, and each year bought the same type of shoes. His shirts and pants were always the same, had been ever since he had been a kid, so no, change was not something he relished. It wasn’t always that way, least not when he was around Bobby, but that change, had left its mark inside.

Bobby wasn’t his first gay friend, or his first gay sex partner, though Bobby was his first to have anal sex with. None of the others before Bobby had seemed likely candidates, and frankly he never had the desire to want to do it with them. Not really knowing how was part of the problem, but he was never that comfortable with them.

With Bobby it was totally different. Even though they only managed to really have anal sex that last day, it still was something special, something he would never stop thinking about.

Up until that day, when he showed up on the route, they had messed around a fair amount. He had sucked Bobby off many times, and had the favour returned just as often. They spent a lot of time touching each other, enjoying the sensation of their hands running over another’s groin. In itself, it was erotic, and while some might call it boring, it wasn’t for them.

Bobby liked to just stretch out next to him, and let his hand move all along his naked body. He loved that part, and Dan could see how much, but how hard Bobby’s dick would get. It was one of those that the more light the touch, the more foreplay there was, the harder, the stiffer it got. In some ways it was a sign of how much they meant to each other too.

Yet anal sex, was the one area they had troubles at. Maybe it was that neither were experienced, in any way with it. Both had sucked dick before, but neither had taken it up the ass. Dan sipped at his coffee, grinning a bit as he remembered their first few attempts at it.

How stupid they were back then. He was older than Bobby, he should have known all about having sex, but he was as ignorant as Bobby was. Sure, Bobby could act like he knew, but that first attempt, what a joke it had been. Mind you, he had to admit, they did enjoy a good laugh at each other, and he still could remember Bobby’s face, when he was trying to work his dick into Dan’s ass, and Dan farted.

The sound had startled them both, and he had turned to look up at Bobby. He saw the wide open eyes, the stunned look on his face, then they smelled it, and he couldn’t help but laugh. The way Bobby’s nose had wrinkled up, how his eyes had narrowed, was just too much. He still enjoyed that moment, at how Bobby had fallen off him, onto the ground holding his side, trying not to laugh, but not succeeding.

What did they know about enema’s and all that stuff. It was 1970, and it wasn’t like there was Google or Yahoo back then. A man had set foot on the Moon, there had been two political assassinations, and the world was still in the grip of a Cold War. Viet Nam was making for unrest, and who knew that the man in the White House would turn out as bad as he did?

Maybe if they had known, things would have been different, but as he thought about it, he was rather glad there weren’t any personal computers, or search engines then. They had more fun, more intimacy not knowing, and it was that intimacy that gave him his memories today. Not all pleasant, but then Life wasn’t always pleasant.

He had more good times than he realized, and even his memories of Bobby were better for how it had all been back then. Sure, they ran the risk of being beaten up, of being arrested, but it only added to the thrill, to the spice of their feelings for each other. Bobby was that special, worth going to jail for, worth being beaten up for. Not what he could say about some who came afterwards, that was for sure.

Still, thinking back, to those first efforts at being more sexual, at engaging in real man sex, was something to savour. Funny too how instinct took over at times, how Bobby and he, figured out to make sure and not eat much before going out for some ‘bush time’ as Bobby called it. He always could turn something that everyone thought was dirty, into something special.

It was him who figured out that before one put their dick inside, that you had to have some lubrication, and you had to sort of just, well loosen a guy up too, after all, those dicks did look rather big for such a tiny hole.

The talk was rough, as they tried to figure out how to do it all, how to come together, and how his legs would get in the way, or how Bobby would sometimes rush too much. All of that he remembered now, and at how much those first tries hurt. Not like how it was since, because now he knew, that first was the pain, then the pleasure. Back then, well who knew?

AIDS was still years from being discovered, but something made them use Condoms . He chuckled as he thought about that, at how Bobby had brought the subject up. He had been looking at the ground, when he reached inside his pant pocket, and pulled out the plastic package. Dan knew what it was, and he had looked up at Bobby, who grinned, as he said:

‘I don’t want to get you pregnant, your father would skin me alive’

How could you not fall for a guy who could make a serious situation turn into a good laugh? He had wondered about using them himself, but Bobby had sensed it, and made it all work out. That was Bobby, and so maybe it was why he had been spared all the pain that hit the gay community years later?

He never thought about it before, but maybe the way he had started out, using Condoms , had kept him safe, had made the difference between him donating money for AIDS research, and from being a name on a quilt? He shivered a little at the thought, sipped more of the coffee as he tried to change his mood.

Reflections were not always good for the soul, so he thought, yet today it was about all he could do. To think about how his father had beamed at him, when they rolled the old truck out, how his mother had smiled as she saw the name in bright colors on the side of that truck. Or maybe it was just as how happy her son had looked, standing next to his father?

Those were good memories, just as thinking about Bobby was a good memory. There were so many good times, even the failed attempts at having intercourse. They sure were a couple of Klutzes back then, until that last time together. Somehow, he never really thought about that day, about how they managed to find the time to not just be together, but how everything seemed to just click.

How Bobby had met him on his route, had rode with him back to his home, without really saying a word. How apprehensive he had been through the whole day, and then getting home, to find his mother and father all dressed up. He had thought something bad had happened, but it was some family thing, meaning they were going to drive up, take a day off actually so they could drive to the affair.

It meant he would have to do it all himself in the morning, and when his mother had asked Bobby if he could help, it suddenly dawned on Dan, he’d have the house to himself, safely for the whole night. When he turned to see if Bobby would agree to his mother’s suggestion, the expression on his face almost made him laugh out loud. Then as Bobby agreed, and he turned to wish his parents a safe trip, he saw that twinkle in her eye.

She knew what was going to happen, and for a moment he felt his heart skip a beat, as she ran her hand down the side of his face. She kissed him, still with that twinkle, as she told him to remember to get to bed early, and then left.

It was unreal, and so strange to suddenly be at home, all alone, except for Bobby standing next to him. He felt Bobby’s hand brush his buttocks, and felt a growing ache there, as the car backed out and made its way down the street. They just stood there, watching, a bit unsure of what was going to happen.

Closing the door, he figured that they’d suddenly be in each other’s arms, but it didn’t turn out that way. Bobby, merely smiled at him, then asked what time they had to get up. When he heard, his face went a strange color, then he asked to use the phone. It wasn’t at all what he had expected, certainly not for guys their age, but then, it wasn’t like they hadn’t messed around.

Still it had been surprising, and when Bobby had returned from the kitchen, he was back to normal. No sullen face, no droopy eyes, but instead he had that wicked grin that always meant he was horny. Checking his crotch, Dan couldn’t help but see that his hunch had been right.

Reaching out with one hand, he took Dan’s hand, and looked up at the stairs, then over at Dan. ‘Time we got it right’ and with that little grin on his face he had taken him up to Dan’s own room. It was odd, being led to his bedroom, and then to walk in and be taken into Bobby’s arms.

The kiss was tender, not rushed. It made his whole body tingle, he remembered, and something else begin to get a bit harder. Still, Bobby wasn’t about to rush things, least not right off. They did have the whole afternoon and evening, and the kiss led to a sort of strip tease that he still could remember. How Bobby would take his shirt off, then wait for Dan to take Bobby’s shirt off. A sort of give and take until both of them were standing in the middle of Dan’s room, totally naked. Both of their dicks fully aroused, sticking straight out from their bodies.

Dan recalled how Bobby kissed him, then slowly began to let himself slide down to his knees, kissing Dan’s body all over. How he would kiss him lightly, then press his lips hard at another spot, or he’d lick Dan’s burning flesh and suddenly stop, to kiss a spot, to let his tongue flick back and forth against a certain spot, until eventually Bobby was on his knees, his face level with Dan’s hard cock.

How he had trembled as Bobby took hold of his penis, right at the base, then moved his head forward, to lightly kiss the cock head. Every part of his body was quivering to that touch, to the feel. His hips jerked a bit, as Bobby leaned back, telling him to be patient. It had made him smile, as he rested his hands on Bobby’s shoulders, feeling his insides turning to jelly.

Nothing had ever felt better, than when Bobby had the urge to taste dick. How he would work his tongue, as he would lick at the underside, right up to where his sac met his shaft. How his tongue would flick and taste him, then he would kiss him in the same spot just kissed by his tongue. Every nerve inside would tingle, as Bobby would take his time, bringing him higher and higher with each touch, each caress.

Letting his tongue circle lightly around the cap behind his cock head would make him groan, moan louder as the raspy edged tongue brushed past his skin. He would tighten his grip, but this night Bobby leaned back, letting him shudder, unfulfilled. Instead he just looked up at him, his eyes glowing, as he massaged Dan’s thighs, then reached around, to squeeze his butt cheeks. As if checking to see if they were fresh, like one did with bread in the supermarket.

Grinning, he pinched his leg, then sort of pushed him backwards, until Dan fell against his bed, falling down onto it. He bounced, taken by surprise, and as he came back up from his second bounce, there was Bobby, to lay on top of him. It all felt so unreal, so special, as they both squirmed their way so they were fully on the bed.

Bobby continued to kiss him, to touch him so gently that every hair on his body was standing on edge. His nerves were on edge, every muscle was coiled up inside, nervously waiting for Bobby. Yet he didn’t reach for him, instead he licked at Dan’s nipples, nibbling them really.

Sitting in his kitchen, he thought he could still feel those teeth, pulling at his nipple, holding it firmly between them. His hand moved up, and ran lightly over his chest, as his eyes closed, as his mind flashed back to that time, to that moment. It was like yesterday, as he felt the sharp little pain, the way the teeth pulled, then the tongue would lick around the still shaking flesh of the nipple.

Bobby’s hands were all over him, touching him, caressing him or prodding him, as he lay on top of Dan. He felt so alive then, so loved, that he couldn’t help but whimper a little, as Bobby continued to just touch him. It was unreal, how hot it made him, how the sweat was beading up and rolling down his body. Nothing had ever felt so good, as he felt the hand reaching for his stiff pole, giving it a quick stroke.

Then the hand moved down, to prod at his testicles, to make them ache in a way Dan had never felt before. The fingers poked at his leathery sac, then slid down, to lightly caress the spot just between his balls and his rectum. They pressed lightly, each stroke making his cock jerk, making Dan begin to pant a bit, as his heart started to race faster. His eyes were blinking, seeing strange flashes of light, brilliant colors that popped into view, then disappeared.

The finger moved further backwards, between his cheeks, and Dan could feel it move up his tender valley until it was nestled up against his tight little hole. He could feel himself pucker, feel the muscles around the tiny entrance quiver. His legs stiffened, as the finger begin to probe his hole, to circle it and as Bobby’s hot breath blew across his belly.

The kiss on his groin made him gasp for air, as the finger quickly penetrated him at the same time. He felt like he was in heaven, as the pain of penetration passed quickly. The kiss on his groin, the hot breath against his pubic hairs, only made him shake, shudder with desire. The press of the finger inside was slow and steady. He pressed down onto the finger, enjoying its presence for the first time. There wasn’t the pain, the uncomfortable feeling he had the other times.

It just felt right, as Bobby moved his finger around, moved it slowly in and out, all the time kissing his belly, his groin. He even licked at his cock, while his finger was probing him, until he began to beg him, to have him take him. Yet Bobby didn’t stop, he added a second finger, which Dan pressed down even harder upon, wanting it all inside of him. He could feel the knuckle up against his hole, his cheeks spread wide.

His feet moved apart, flat on the bed, his knees up and also spread apart, as Bobby continued to dig deep into him, with his two fingers. He moved them around, making them twist inside. Bobby lowered his head, but this time he didn’t kiss his belly, didn’t lick at his cock, but took it deep into his mouth. His hands now moved to rest under his thighs, and he squirmed around, between Dan’s legs. Then he felt the shoulders press up against him, and he knew what Bobby wanted. His own hands left their grip of Bobby’s shaggy hair, and he pulled his legs up and took hold of his ankles. He settled him on the bed, his head looked down his chest and up at Bobby.

Staring into his eyes he saw the glint, the glimmer of light His chest heaved, as he sucked in some air, then held it, as he watched Bobby unroll a condom down his cock and then glance up at Dan. Their eyes met and he could feel his passion, feel it as if it had suddenly become a bridge between them. Like tiny tentacles, he let his desire for Bobby, mingle with Bobby’s desire for him.

The press of Bobby’s cock head against his tiny hole, made him suck in more air, look deeper into Bobby’s eyes. He was ready, he knew it, as he felt the pressure building around his tiny hole, felt his muscle beginning to protest the assault. He breathed out, exhaling all that air, just as the cock head pressed past his muscles.

Pain, sharp and intense rolled up his spine, making him cry out. For a second, Bobby held himself still, until once more Dan was begging, urging him on. He couldn’t help himself, the pain was unbelievable, just like before, but yet it felt different. It was like it wasn’t a bad pain, but a good pain, as he felt his hands slip from his ankles, fall to the bed hard. He managed to keep his legs up high over his head, as he struck the side of the bed, as the waves of pain raced through his whole body.

Bobby was huffing, sweat was falling from his forehead onto Dan’s scrunched up chest, as the cock drove deep into him, then pulled back, to once more drive in. Bobby kept it slow and steady, making Dan moan and making Dan’s head roll from side to side, as he let the pain inside turn into nothing but pure pleasure. He groaned his satisfaction, telling him how good it felt, how great it was, how he wanted him to go faster, and faster. Bobby seemed to hear him, as his thrusts begun to get just that, faster.

He could feel the long pole driving into him, then as it pulled back, Dan could feel his muscles protesting, struggling to keep the thick pole inside. Then, just as he thought it would leave, it would come rushing back to him. He would try to meet it, his body arching upwards, to greet Bobby’s downward thrust.

Dan leaned back in his kitchen chair, remembering how it had felt, feeling it even now. How hard it had felt, how thick and how full he felt. Nothing was forgotten, not even how it kept going faster and faster while the sun shone in through his bedroom window. How he could just imagine the squirrels in the trees shaking their heads and bushy tails at the strange sounds coming from the humans.

It gave him a smile, as he felt the ache inside, realizing just how good it had really felt, as Bobby had fucked him. The way his hips would move, shake, and twist too, as he drove his cock into Dan’s ass. Just as if it was last night, he could feel it now. The dull ache inside, the way it had felt when his own cock had been jerking between their sweaty bodies, and then how suddenly he knew he was going to shoot his load.

How he had felt panic at the idea of cumming, while Bobby was still deep inside of him. How high his voice had sounded as he yelled he was gonna shoot, how it made Bobby pump his ass even faster, harder. He didn’t think it could be possible, but Bobby’s cock was somehow moving faster, pounding his insides. The sound of his groin slapping into his sweaty butt cheeks only made the ache in his body worse.

Dan remembered how it felt, how his balls had slung upwards, then suddenly drop as their precious milk was released. He could still feel how thrilling it felt to feel his cum moving out from his balls, filling the shaft, then streaming out in a wild stream. How drops of his cum struck his own chin, how it hit Bobby’s one nipple, how it hung for a millisecond on his chest, before slowly sliding down, pushing the tiny tufts of hair down.

How good it felt was not something he would ever forget, even with his last breath of life, he knew he would remember how it felt to feel the cock inside of him, to feel it grow as his body shuddered from his own ejaculation. How he heard Bobby scream, heard that piercing cry as suddenly his insides were empty, and a gooey plastic unrolled condom was laying over his thigh, while the cock it had held, was now aimed right at him.

It was eerie and yet exciting to watch the head rear back, to see the blurred motion of the hand that gripped it become more blurred, as the head seemed to vibrate, then as it shot forward, to see the long trail of milky white cum fly out from the clenched fist. He could still feel his body shrink into the bed, as the hot splash of Bobby’s cum struck his stomach.

Dan remembered how he had flinched as the long stream of hot cum struck, how his muscles beneath his stomach suddenly uncoiled, how his whole body was nothing but a massive rolling mound of flesh. How every pore in his body was streaming sweat, as he flinched to the second stream that struck his inner thigh. He felt like he was being hit by live flames of fire, yet the instant after it touched, it was cooling.

Nothing could ever be any better than that, but then that was just the afternoon. Dan looked down into his coffee cup, wondering what it would be like today, if he had done more, said more back then? Would Bobby have come back to him, would he be retiring now, or would he have sold out long ago?

He sighed as he made his way to his bedroom. So much had happened, and now that he had the time, what did he have to show for it? Some cash in the bank? A paid up house, shiny new SUV and a house at the lake, but those were just material things. There wasn’t anyone to share it with, to help him enjoy it all, and yet, at the back of his mind, he wondered if he would trade all that, to have someone here with him now, someone like Bobby?

Uncle Dan

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (1)

Dan stared at the old Grumman truck in the drive way. The white painted sides were a bit dull, and he could see the patches where he had touched up the paint, that were now weathered and old, just as he was. Sipping his coffee he felt his age, or more aptly he felt like a hundred, not a mere sixty. His legs trembled a little, as he stood there staring at 40 years of his life.

At twenty he and his father had bought the old truck, fresh from the factory. It had taken his Dad nearly a lifetime to save up enough to buy the truck, to put his son firmly in the driver’s seat of their shared enterprise. It had been his Father’s father that had started the little business, passed it on, and at 20 years of age, his own father was readying to pass it on to him.

Looking out at the ancient truck, he still marvelled at how it had survived, and how it had done him and his father proud. They had spent an entire winter getting their brand new truck ready for the summer season, customizing the interior, working out the generators to keep the coolers at the right temperature.

It had been good times, and when they had rolled out the completed truck, that spring day, well you could see the pride in their eyes, the twinkle of success. His mother had stood at the side, her hands to her face, tears in her eyes as she watched her husband and son back the transformed truck into the drive.

1968 and both John and Robert Kennedy were dead, Richard Nixon was heading for the White House, but to them, it was a perfect year. They had their new truck, double the size of the old battered Ford that had served the family business for decades. Now, his Father had said, they could really make something of the old business.

He had transformed their back yard into a small factory. Every morning at 6am the milk truck would arrive from the nearby farms, delivering fresh milk for their needs. Along with his best friend, he and his father poured the milk from the larger containers into several specially made metal vats, where they made their own home made ice cream.

It was a recipe from his Great Grandmother, and it had been popular among the family, and then the neighbourhood. Now it was still a popular choice among all the kids along their route, kids that were kids of customers of his grandfather, then his father.

A small tear rolled down his face as he stared at the battered old truck, that once held such promise. It was supposed to be his older brother’s business, when his father retired, but like so many, the Viet Nam War had ended that dream for his family. His brother Jason had died in some rice paddy, thousands of miles from home.

His picture, dressed in khaki was still on his mantle, a stark reminder of the price his family had paid. He was one of the lucky one’s, though at the time he didn’t think so. Still, he had avoided the draft, due to a medical condition, a heart problem, that back then, the Doctor’s said would kill him by the age of 50, at best, if not a lot sooner than that. Well, he proved them wrong, as he was 60 now, and according to his Doctor today, he could live to be a hundred.

Dan wished his brother could be here now, his father as well, but life wasn’t always accommodating. His brother was gone, lost in a war he still wasn’t sure about. For his parents, the loss of Jason was like someone had driven a stake through their hearts, but they never let it show in front of him. When his father began to slow down, when getting up at the crack of dawn to get the vats ready for the fresh milk, he turned to Dan more and more, never once letting on how he wished it would be Jason.

His mother never got over the loss either. They turned their grief into pushing him, in looking to make him take the family business to new levels, to new heights. It was their drive that kept him going, long after they had passed away. Least until now, when he simply couldn’t do it all anymore.

Dan, named after his grand father, thought he had done a good job in keeping the old traditions alive. The ice cream was still made by hand, faithful to the old recipe, even though it was far more costly. The bottom line had constantly gotten smaller, but he never once skimped on the ingredients, keeping his prices to their minimum. It was how his family would have wanted it, and he wasn’t about to disappoint them.

Just like his father, his grandfather, he watched the kids on his route grow up, become adults, and have families of their own. He had watched them go off to war too, many to not come back. He had watched entire neighbourhoods that held families for generations change over night. He had seen the effects of the Oil Embargo in the 70’s and the way things changed in the 80’s under the Reagan years.

He had lived through the AIDS epidemic, fearful of seeing many of his friends pass away from the strange affliction that many called the Gay Disease. He had lived through it, survived by the skin of his teeth as he had seen the First Gulf War, and the way his country was changing.

Politics rarely made sense to him, even as a kid. He never understood the Viet Nam era, that took his older brother, the whole Iran crisis or the Afghanistan invasion. Nothing made sense to him, as he went about his business, keeping himself out of it. Oh sure his parents would nag a bit, wondering when he would get out and find a nice girl to marry, to bring children into the world, and pass on the family business.

His father was one who kept at it, until finally his mother told him to stop, to leave the boy alone, though at that time he was already 30. She knew, never said a word, but she knew he would never marry a girl, that for him, his life wasn’t about kids, about girls. Yet not once did she say a word to him, and she kept his father from nagging, without telling him.

The whole AIDS thing, had worried her, specially that summer when he had lost some weight. He had spent a lot of time assuring her he was fine, that he was simply wanting to keep fit, to not let all the ice cream sampling turn him into a rolly polly old man. She had smiled, but he had seen the worry in her eyes, the way she looked. It tore his heart and for that whole time, he kept his sexual dalliances to a minimum.

There had been lots of opportunities too, that maybe he should have pursued, but he never could, least not then. Times were different then, and as he sipped the hot coffee, he realized it really hadn’t changed all that much, even with all the Gay Rights crap out there. You still didn’t go around advertising being queer, and certainly not if you were in his line of work.

Looking up at the sky, he could see the clear blue skies. Another fine autumn day, and he realized, he wouldn’t be heading out for another run. Yesterday, Labor Day Monday, had been his last run, and he had been given a royal send off into retirement. He smiled at that memory, then frowned, as he wondered just how warm would it have been, if they had known he was a 60 year old fag?

Would they have still turned out? Would they maybe hold the hands of their children tighter, and not let them get too close to the old queer? It wasn’t anger he was feeling, but disappointment, because it was the one regret of his entire life, so far. He hadn’t been able to be who he was, he had to keep it secret, and it had cost him dearly.

Bobby was one of those that he wished he could go back into time and alter. He had been a typical teenager, full of life, full of passion too. He had moved into the neighbourhood with his family just recently, and was like a young kid all summer long, always at the curb at 11am, waiting for Dan and his truck.

He was 18 when they had first met, and he had all the looks of a young man who liked to play, who enjoyed life. From his curly blond hair, to the lively looking powder blue eyes, when you looked at Bobby, you felt giddy, felt like laughing at the world. He was that type of guy once you got to know him, as well.

Dan had been 22 at the time, and it had taken him nearly the entire summer before he relented, and agreed to meet Bobby after work, to have a coke and burger. Back then, it was what they did, not hit the bars, not go share a joint, or a line, though maybe they did, just not in his circle. Still he had been petrified, not sure if Bobby was or wasn’t. Not like you could ask, without risking being beaten to a pulp.

Still he could remember that first night, when they had met and gone to the local burger place, to sip at ice cold Coca Cola in a big tall glass, ice cubes, and a burger that oozed grease. None of that healthy crap back then, just real meat, real bacon, and tons of grease. It was messy, but damn he could almost taste that burger now. Then, he was too scared to enjoy it, until the banana splits had arrived. He had almost choked on ice cream, when Bobby had looked at the sliced long banana, fluttered his eye lashes at Dan, then asked if his dick was as long.

It must have taken him five minutes to stop sputtering, to stop gagging on the ice cream in his mouth. And that wicked little grin across Bobby’s face didn’t help either. The way he looked so innocent, and wicked, all at the same time, was unnerving. The eyes, that were so full of life, seemed to be laughing at his discomfort, as his foot had suddenly stretched out under the table, and was brushing his foot.

Smiling, he remembered that his only words had been ‘are you’ and Bobby had simply laughed out loud. First his choking, now the laughter, had gotten many heads turning to see what was going on. No one seemed to notice the intense stare he had, the bright red flush to his cheeks, or how Bobby seemed a bit slouched on the booth seat. His foot had been gently caressing Dan’s, had even managed to move up a bit from the ankle, pushing the pant leg up.

God, it had been exciting, and while he hadn’t been a virgin, he sure as hell wasn’t the type to have had a whole lot of experience. Hell, if he was honest with himself now, he still wouldn’t call himself experienced. Not like many of the younger kids these days, or at least if you were to believe their claims. Still, back then it wasn’t easy to find partners, to meet and just, well, be who you were.

They had left the burger place, and walked down the street. It had been a perfect autumn night, just as today was shaping up to be. Maybe if it was today, they might have held hands, but not back then. That would be asking for trouble, yet he remembered that walk as if it was just yesterday. How they talked, how Bobby was hoping his number wouldn’t come up in the draft, how if it did he might just head up North to Canada. It was all so strange, to share the dreams of another, to share their fears, their hopes. He had missed that, ever since his brother had gone off, never to return.

Bobby was like Jason, full of life, yet serious when he wanted to be. Nothing seemed to be off limits either, as they talked, as he kept glancing at Dan, with that downward glance, that seemed so hot, so sexy. It was as if he was trying to just turn him on with his eyes, and come to think of it, he had. Just being with another guy, in such a setting, had given him a hard on. For the life of him, he wanted to see if Bobby was also aroused, but he couldn’t, afraid of being too eager.

It was Bobby who finally brought it up, as they were by one of the many parks around town. It was quiet out, the wind was blowing a little, but it wasn’t cold. Rather warm considering it was mid September, and as they stood by a small grove of trees, Bobby said what he had been thinking.

How nervous he had been, when Bobby asked him straight out, if he’d like a blow job. The little giggle had been unintentional, but it had also broken the ice more. Dan had made some smart ass comment, but he managed to glance down at Bobby’s crotch, to see a very large bulge in the pants. There was no doubt, Bobby was as excited by him, as he was with Bobby.

Thinking about it now, he felt a bit sad. How he had seen the gleam in Bobby’s eyes when he had agreed, how suddenly he had stiffened, and looked around, checking to see if anyone was coming along the street. His eyes were so bright, and yet he had seen the fear too, a fear he knew well.

It took them several minutes, to be satisfied, then to quietly slip into the park, to make their way deep into the grove of large trees. Branches pushed past their faces, as they walked through the underbrush, stopping every few feet, to make sure no one was inside, or following. It all had an air of being naughty, of doing something dangerous, forbidden. Course, maybe perhaps because it was illegal, it did sort of make things a bit more thrilling.

How they had stopped, listened, then moved further into the thickets, to avoid any possibility of being discovered, least without them being warned in advance. Each crack of a branch, each rustle of branches made them stop, listen, then move in more.

Finally they had found a spot, where both felt safe enough to take a deep breathe, and relax. Bobby leaned up against the trunk of an old weathered tree, and looked at Dan. He had his thumb hooked into the waist of his pants, and Dan couldn’t help but notice how sexy he looked. The way his chest was still heaving a bit from their excursion to this point, how full his basket looked. It all made him feel even more excited, as he stood there, not sure what to do next.

Did Bobby want him to do him first, or should he just drop to his knees? Maybe Bobby wanted to do him first? He didn’t want to ruin the moment, but it was typical of Bobby, to recognize his indecision, and to take charge. Course, that also led to some problems later on, but that night, well it was just what he needed.

‘You wanna do me first? I am so damn hard, it’s really hurting’

He had smiled and just nodded, as he moved forward, to get up close to Bobby. Dan remembered how he could smell the burger still on Bobby’s breath. The relish, the pickles, and even the onions as he stood directly in front of Bobby, staring down at his basket. How big it had looked in the gloom of the night, how inviting too as he felt Bobby reach up and under his chin, to lift his face up to his.

They had kissed briefly, just a brush of their lips against each other’s, but damn he could still feel how it had made him tremble. The press of those thin lips on his, the touch of his fingers under his chin, had nearly made him collapse. His legs had twitched and his knees felt like they would buckle. As they had pulled away, Bobby had told him how he liked that, how it was nice.

Funny, but while he had since kissed many other guys, none had ever said a word to him. Kissing wasn’t what it was back then, and who knew. Sure, you saw it in the movies, and if you listened hard enough, you could get an idea of just what kissing was, but that was from the straight crowd. For him, it was a rather new experience, that never seemed to go quite the way all the kids in the locker room had made it seem.

Yet with Bobby, it didn’t seem necessary. The brief little touch had made his own cock jerk in the pants, had made him tremble, and he rather enjoyed it. He let his hand move away from his own nervous body, to touch Bobby’s side. He felt the warmth of his body, and felt it shudder a bit to his touch. How strange it felt, how good it felt too.

His hand moved across the stomach, realizing how soft it was, how much he could feel the muscles underneath trembling as his hand moved towards the button on the top of the pants. Dan also realized at how Bobby was holding his breath, and how his eyes were staring down at his hand, watching every movement they made. It was sort of like being on display, as he fumbled with the button, needing both hands to pull the pants away from Bobby’s body, to finally undo it.

Bobby managed to exhale at that point, and Dan felt his belly push up against his fingers, that were inside the waist of the pants. He felt his whole body shake, his knees wobble, as he looked up into Bobby’s face.

The moon was out, but the thick covering of autumn leaves still were enough to block most of it out, but the glow was unmistakable. His eyes were so bright, so shiny, that it made him want to lean forward, to kiss him once more. For a second he hesitated, then felt his head tilt to one side, his eyes flutter then close as he moved in closer.

This time the kiss lasted longer, and he could feel Bobby’s tongue against his own, taste him a bit too, as his own tongue pushed inside, just a bit. His whole body was suddenly charged, he could feel his heart racing, as his hands moved up to hold Bobby’s upper arms, to press his fingers into the flesh, and press his mouth harder against Bobby’s.

It was his real first kiss with another guy. One that was just like how he had imagined it would be, and as their breath mingled together, he felt his whole body shaking, felt Bobby’s hands at his waist, holding him close. Even now, decades later, he could feel the press of those long fingers against his hip bone. How good it felt, how strong Bobby felt, how much he wanted him.

Somehow he found himself on his knees, their mouths apart. He could hear the panting breath from above him, as his hands fumbled with the pants, pulling at them, until they were down below Bobby’s knees. The white of his jockey shorts was brilliant in the darkness, as was the tented shape of the pole that stuck out from them. He remembered licking his lips as he tugged at the shorts, until he had freed Bobby’s dick.

It looked so huge then, as it wavered a bit in the night air, as it stuck straight out from his body. The dark patch of pubic hair looked black in the night, but he saw the two round balls underneath, close up to the shaft. His eyes couldn’t move away from the beautiful sight, as he leaned back on his heels a bit, to take it all in.

Bobby had his hand on his shoulders, as he stared at the cock, at the dangling balls. He felt in awe at it, though later he realized it wasn’t some giant monster, or some freak of nature. Bobby’s penis really wasn’t above average, but for someone who had little to compare it to, it looked huge.

How it stood there, sticking out, and moving ever so slightly, made it seem so alive, so special. He remembered too, how Bobby asked him if it was okay, as if he too wasn’t sure if it was normal. Even now, he could remember how he had said it was perfect, how it was something from heaven, which had seemed to make Bobby happy, as his one hand moved off of Dan’s shoulder, to grab hold of the stiff cock, at the base, and shake it a bit.

Looking at that pole, at how it moved in front of his eyes was making him drool. He forgot about being nervous, as he let one hand move up Bobby’s thigh, to touch his warm body, to then let it move across Bobby’s crotch. How Bobby had dropped his hold of his own cock, as Dan took hold of it, wrapping his fingers around the base of it.

He could still remember how thrilled he was, at the touch of his hand on that throbbing pole. He still believed he could feel Bobby’s blood rushing in and out, as he held the cock steady, letting his head move forward.

The instant his lips touched it, he felt Bobby stiffen, felt his body tense up, as Dan felt his own body shake. His lips opened, as the hot head pushed past the lips, his teeth grating the hot stretched flesh of the head. Bobby suddenly groaned, and Dan opened his eyes, to see one of Bobby’s hand moving up and down under his shirt. He closed the eyes, as he let his mouth move further along the shaft, pulling the whole pole into his mouth.

His jaw started to ache a bit, and his throat was having troubles letting the cock enter, but despite a few gags, he managed to have it all inside his mouth. Dan felt his nose pressing up against Bobby’s crotch, drinking in his aroma, his man scent. It made his whole body quiver, made his hand tighten around the base, as he began to pull his head back, feeling the throbbing pole tremble as it past his lips.

Bobby was moaning softly, and one hand now rested on Dan’s head, the fingers pulling and tugging at Dan’s auburn hair, wrapping strands around the fingers, while he moved his face in and out. His hand held the cock straight, but he could feel the muscles inside trembling, feel them shake as his mouth moved back and forth over Bobby’s cock.

The heavy breathing grew more rapid. Bobby was shaking too, and he felt the thighs tighten, felt the muscles inside become like thick bands of steel, as his head moved faster and faster along the throbbing cock. He could still feel its warmth, feel it strike the back of his throat, as it buried itself into Dan’s mouth. His tongue was flattened inside his mouth, occasionally licking upwards, as the hot pole slid past, then he felt the two hands on his shoulders.

Bobby’s fingers were digging deep into his flesh, digging at his bone even, and he could feel the hips moving in time with his face, and then the shallow panting grew quicker, as Bobby suddenly reached behind, and took hold of Dan’s head, shoving it hard into his body. At the same time his hips shot forward, and he heard him cry out, as the body bucked in Dan’s grasp.

The hot cream choked him, as he struggled, pulling back against Bobby’s hands. His mouth was suddenly flooded with a sweet salty liquid, that was gagging him. It slid down his throat, dripped out from his mouth and ran down his chin, as it just seemed to keep on coming. He struggled to pull back, forcing himself to swallow as much as he could, to avoid throwing up. His body shook, as the thick cream just seemed to be endless.

Then suddenly, his head was able to pull away, and he fell back onto his hands, his legs pushed out on either side of Bobby’s still prone body. Looking up, he saw how his eyes were shut tight, how his whole body was shaking, as he slowly let himself slide down the trunk of the tree. His legs weren’t as far apart as Dan’s, the pants and underwear holding them closer.

Yet as he slid down, his feet pushed up into Dan’s groin, making his own cock jerk, making it suddenly ache in a way Dan had never felt before. His body was still trembling as Bobby finally opened his eyes, to stare at Dan. The look he gave him, was something Dan knew he’d never forget. He was right too, because right now, he could still see it before him.

The coffee in his cup was cold, and as he remembered that look, his body gave a small little shake. He couldn’t help but feel the stirring in his groin, as he thought about Bobby, about that moment in the park, when he sucked him off.

As he told Bobby later, it was only his third, and he still felt rather pleased with himself, as Bobby refused to believe he had only sucked cock twice before, given how good he was at it. Maybe that was why he remembered him so vividly, the way he could compliment you, and make you believe it.

Mind you, it was much more than that. It was his first real crush on another guy, that was returned too. That made it special, and the times, well that just added to the thrill of his time with Bobby. To know, that if caught they could be tossed in jail, or worse, was well, intoxicating even. It never really made him angry, though it pissed Bobby off a lot. He was before his time, Dan thought, as he headed to the kitchen, to get a fresh cup of java, and to begin his first day of retirement.