By Ian Kovnats ()
Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved
There was no doubt, Bobby had been special. Thinking of him today, was like being young again. The pain in his legs, in his hands, didn’t seem to hurt so much, when he thought about his brief time with Bobby. He had learned so much then, hell, they both had. It wasn’t like either of them were what the kids today would call experienced.
Yet they seemed to know enough to make their time together memorable, something the new generation didn’t quite get. It wasn’t just about the sex, never really was, least not between him and Bobby. It had been about them, about being able to just be themselves, to touch when they felt the need, to experience each other, when they needed to.
Looking around the kitchen, he remembered that time Bobby came to his house, for dinner. His Mother had made such a fuss over him, specially when he helped peel the carrots, the potatoes, and even helped her slice them all up. It was like how it might be, if Bobby had been a daughter to her, and oh how she had fussed over him.
It hadn’t been that way at first, as his Mother was very protective of him. His father didn’t have a clue, thought it was just a friend from the route, and didn’t have an inkling about what was between him and Bobby. Thinking back, he was pretty certain his mother did. After all, the way she had glared at Bobby when he first showed up, how her words were guarded, clipped even.
Dan had sensed her disapproval at first, but resigned himself to it. He doubted she would understand how he felt about Bobby, or what they shared, and thought better of trying to make her understand. Yet Bobby had worked his own magic, as he had with Dan.
In less than a half hour, he was a favourite, a true gentlemen, his mother had pronounced afterwards. It felt so good, to have her sudden approval, but it was Bobby that had made it happen. How he had smiled, had managed to find her weakness, and use it to get her approval. He was good at that, and as he sat in his empty kitchen, he missed it too.
There had been several since Bobby, some a lot better looking, some hung better, but none had come close to reaching his heart as Bobby had. Hell, he couldn’t even remember most of their names, let alone what they looked like. Yet with Bobby, he could see his features now, as if he was sitting right across from him, this second.
How his hair moved in the wind, how a certain bunch of curly hair at his right ear would always hang different than the rest of his hair, how it would seem to defy the wind, and never blow with it, but against it. Then too, that was Bobby as well. He never seemed to go with the flow, or just take things in stride.
There was so much to Bobby, that he doubted he knew it all, even now. Course, how could he, which only made him look down into his coffee cup, realizing how he had missed his chance. Bobby had always wanted to live life, to experience it, and going to war wasn’t high on his list of experiences to have. Yet when his lottery number had come up, he had been pragmatic about it.
At first he had thought about going up to Canada, to avoid it, but then his Mother wasn’t well, and he couldn’t see himself sitting up in Canada, unable to come to her side, if needed. Unfortunately, he never was able to come to her side, as she died while he was off serving in Viet Nam, doing his bit to secure his countries freedom. Bobby never really saw it that way, and frankly, neither did Dan.
Yet it was his desire to be near her, that had kept him from leaving, from taking up roots in a strange country. Maybe if he had, things might have worked out differently, both for him and Bobby. Though in all honesty he doubted it. Just as Bobby wouldn’t leave his family, how could he?
Dan knew though, that if Bobby had asked, he would have gone with him to Canada. Things were different for people them, they had a Prime Minister who didn’t think it was anyone’s business what two adults did in their bedrooms, something he wished today’s leaders would understand. Still, he would have gone, but Bobby never asked, nor did he go up North.
The whole draft thing, the whole serving your nation thing, changed Bobby too. As his time to ship off, for training, grew closer, the laughter in his eyes, the easy banter between them seemed to end. Things were different, and they fought too. That wasn’t something he was used to, as he really never knew what would set Bobby off.
The coffee went down the wrong way, as he coughed, trying not to choke, as he remembered that time, just before Bobby left him. It was about ten days before he was due to leave, when he had just shown up on the route. That was unusual for Bobby, but he had stood off to the side, watching all the kids yammering at Dan, pushing their quarters towards him, begging for bigger scopes, or changing their minds from one flavour to another.
He just stood there, watching. Every now and then, Dan would glance up, to see the once happy eyes, looking mournful, dark, and morose. He couldn’t ever recall feeling so helpless as he did that day. Seeing Bobby unhappy, was painful, as he knew he had fallen hook, line, and sinker for the guy. And in all honesty, it really wasn’t about the sex either.
Sure it was convenient, it meant they could enjoy their brand of sex, without the risks that others faced. If they just kept their desire hidden, had their fun where no one could happen on them, they were safe to enjoy it. No worries if the guy they were approaching was an undercover narc, or worse, straight.
Why he was dwelling on this, he had no idea. Maybe it was simply that today, he was no longer a working stiff. His day job was to sit back, do whatever he wanted. No getting up to fill vats, to check the quality of each tub of ice cream he produced, or to even load the truck, that would never drive a route again. He was out of the business, about to become a fading memory to those he had known for decades.
Change never had been something he liked, or sought either. He still wore the same shorts, the same socks, and each year bought the same type of shoes. His shirts and pants were always the same, had been ever since he had been a kid, so no, change was not something he relished. It wasn’t always that way, least not when he was around Bobby, but that change, had left its mark inside.
Bobby wasn’t his first gay friend, or his first gay sex partner, though Bobby was his first to have anal sex with. None of the others before Bobby had seemed likely candidates, and frankly he never had the desire to want to do it with them. Not really knowing how was part of the problem, but he was never that comfortable with them.
With Bobby it was totally different. Even though they only managed to really have anal sex that last day, it still was something special, something he would never stop thinking about.
Up until that day, when he showed up on the route, they had messed around a fair amount. He had sucked Bobby off many times, and had the favour returned just as often. They spent a lot of time touching each other, enjoying the sensation of their hands running over another’s groin. In itself, it was erotic, and while some might call it boring, it wasn’t for them.
Bobby liked to just stretch out next to him, and let his hand move all along his naked body. He loved that part, and Dan could see how much, but how hard Bobby’s dick would get. It was one of those that the more light the touch, the more foreplay there was, the harder, the stiffer it got. In some ways it was a sign of how much they meant to each other too.
Yet anal sex, was the one area they had troubles at. Maybe it was that neither were experienced, in any way with it. Both had sucked dick before, but neither had taken it up the ass. Dan sipped at his coffee, grinning a bit as he remembered their first few attempts at it.
How stupid they were back then. He was older than Bobby, he should have known all about having sex, but he was as ignorant as Bobby was. Sure, Bobby could act like he knew, but that first attempt, what a joke it had been. Mind you, he had to admit, they did enjoy a good laugh at each other, and he still could remember Bobby’s face, when he was trying to work his dick into Dan’s ass, and Dan farted.
The sound had startled them both, and he had turned to look up at Bobby. He saw the wide open eyes, the stunned look on his face, then they smelled it, and he couldn’t help but laugh. The way Bobby’s nose had wrinkled up, how his eyes had narrowed, was just too much. He still enjoyed that moment, at how Bobby had fallen off him, onto the ground holding his side, trying not to laugh, but not succeeding.
What did they know about enema’s and all that stuff. It was 1970, and it wasn’t like there was Google or Yahoo back then. A man had set foot on the Moon, there had been two political assassinations, and the world was still in the grip of a Cold War. Viet Nam was making for unrest, and who knew that the man in the White House would turn out as bad as he did?
Maybe if they had known, things would have been different, but as he thought about it, he was rather glad there weren’t any personal computers, or search engines then. They had more fun, more intimacy not knowing, and it was that intimacy that gave him his memories today. Not all pleasant, but then Life wasn’t always pleasant.
He had more good times than he realized, and even his memories of Bobby were better for how it had all been back then. Sure, they ran the risk of being beaten up, of being arrested, but it only added to the thrill, to the spice of their feelings for each other. Bobby was that special, worth going to jail for, worth being beaten up for. Not what he could say about some who came afterwards, that was for sure.
Still, thinking back, to those first efforts at being more sexual, at engaging in real man sex, was something to savour. Funny too how instinct took over at times, how Bobby and he, figured out to make sure and not eat much before going out for some ‘bush time’ as Bobby called it. He always could turn something that everyone thought was dirty, into something special.
It was him who figured out that before one put their dick inside, that you had to have some lubrication, and you had to sort of just, well loosen a guy up too, after all, those dicks did look rather big for such a tiny hole.
The talk was rough, as they tried to figure out how to do it all, how to come together, and how his legs would get in the way, or how Bobby would sometimes rush too much. All of that he remembered now, and at how much those first tries hurt. Not like how it was since, because now he knew, that first was the pain, then the pleasure. Back then, well who knew?
AIDS was still years from being discovered, but something made them use . He chuckled as he thought about that, at how Bobby had brought the subject up. He had been looking at the ground, when he reached inside his pant pocket, and pulled out the plastic package. Dan knew what it was, and he had looked up at Bobby, who grinned, as he said:
‘I don’t want to get you pregnant, your father would skin me alive’
How could you not fall for a guy who could make a serious situation turn into a good laugh? He had wondered about using them himself, but Bobby had sensed it, and made it all work out. That was Bobby, and so maybe it was why he had been spared all the pain that hit the gay community years later?
He never thought about it before, but maybe the way he had started out, using , had kept him safe, had made the difference between him donating money for AIDS research, and from being a name on a quilt? He shivered a little at the thought, sipped more of the coffee as he tried to change his mood.
Reflections were not always good for the soul, so he thought, yet today it was about all he could do. To think about how his father had beamed at him, when they rolled the old truck out, how his mother had smiled as she saw the name in bright colors on the side of that truck. Or maybe it was just as how happy her son had looked, standing next to his father?
Those were good memories, just as thinking about Bobby was a good memory. There were so many good times, even the failed attempts at having intercourse. They sure were a couple of Klutzes back then, until that last time together. Somehow, he never really thought about that day, about how they managed to find the time to not just be together, but how everything seemed to just click.
How Bobby had met him on his route, had rode with him back to his home, without really saying a word. How apprehensive he had been through the whole day, and then getting home, to find his mother and father all dressed up. He had thought something bad had happened, but it was some family thing, meaning they were going to drive up, take a day off actually so they could drive to the affair.
It meant he would have to do it all himself in the morning, and when his mother had asked Bobby if he could help, it suddenly dawned on Dan, he’d have the house to himself, safely for the whole night. When he turned to see if Bobby would agree to his mother’s suggestion, the expression on his face almost made him laugh out loud. Then as Bobby agreed, and he turned to wish his parents a safe trip, he saw that twinkle in her eye.
She knew what was going to happen, and for a moment he felt his heart skip a beat, as she ran her hand down the side of his face. She kissed him, still with that twinkle, as she told him to remember to get to bed early, and then left.
It was unreal, and so strange to suddenly be at home, all alone, except for Bobby standing next to him. He felt Bobby’s hand brush his buttocks, and felt a growing ache there, as the car backed out and made its way down the street. They just stood there, watching, a bit unsure of what was going to happen.
Closing the door, he figured that they’d suddenly be in each other’s arms, but it didn’t turn out that way. Bobby, merely smiled at him, then asked what time they had to get up. When he heard, his face went a strange color, then he asked to use the phone. It wasn’t at all what he had expected, certainly not for guys their age, but then, it wasn’t like they hadn’t messed around.
Still it had been surprising, and when Bobby had returned from the kitchen, he was back to normal. No sullen face, no droopy eyes, but instead he had that wicked grin that always meant he was horny. Checking his crotch, Dan couldn’t help but see that his hunch had been right.
Reaching out with one hand, he took Dan’s hand, and looked up at the stairs, then over at Dan. ‘Time we got it right’ and with that little grin on his face he had taken him up to Dan’s own room. It was odd, being led to his bedroom, and then to walk in and be taken into Bobby’s arms.
The kiss was tender, not rushed. It made his whole body tingle, he remembered, and something else begin to get a bit harder. Still, Bobby wasn’t about to rush things, least not right off. They did have the whole afternoon and evening, and the kiss led to a sort of strip tease that he still could remember. How Bobby would take his shirt off, then wait for Dan to take Bobby’s shirt off. A sort of give and take until both of them were standing in the middle of Dan’s room, totally naked. Both of their dicks fully aroused, sticking straight out from their bodies.
Dan recalled how Bobby kissed him, then slowly began to let himself slide down to his knees, kissing Dan’s body all over. How he would kiss him lightly, then press his lips hard at another spot, or he’d lick Dan’s burning flesh and suddenly stop, to kiss a spot, to let his tongue flick back and forth against a certain spot, until eventually Bobby was on his knees, his face level with Dan’s hard cock.
How he had trembled as Bobby took hold of his penis, right at the base, then moved his head forward, to lightly kiss the cock head. Every part of his body was quivering to that touch, to the feel. His hips jerked a bit, as Bobby leaned back, telling him to be patient. It had made him smile, as he rested his hands on Bobby’s shoulders, feeling his insides turning to jelly.
Nothing had ever felt better, than when Bobby had the urge to taste dick. How he would work his tongue, as he would lick at the underside, right up to where his sac met his shaft. How his tongue would flick and taste him, then he would kiss him in the same spot just kissed by his tongue. Every nerve inside would tingle, as Bobby would take his time, bringing him higher and higher with each touch, each caress.
Letting his tongue circle lightly around the cap behind his cock head would make him groan, moan louder as the raspy edged tongue brushed past his skin. He would tighten his grip, but this night Bobby leaned back, letting him shudder, unfulfilled. Instead he just looked up at him, his eyes glowing, as he massaged Dan’s thighs, then reached around, to squeeze his butt cheeks. As if checking to see if they were fresh, like one did with bread in the supermarket.
Grinning, he pinched his leg, then sort of pushed him backwards, until Dan fell against his bed, falling down onto it. He bounced, taken by surprise, and as he came back up from his second bounce, there was Bobby, to lay on top of him. It all felt so unreal, so special, as they both squirmed their way so they were fully on the bed.
Bobby continued to kiss him, to touch him so gently that every hair on his body was standing on edge. His nerves were on edge, every muscle was coiled up inside, nervously waiting for Bobby. Yet he didn’t reach for him, instead he licked at Dan’s nipples, nibbling them really.
Sitting in his kitchen, he thought he could still feel those teeth, pulling at his nipple, holding it firmly between them. His hand moved up, and ran lightly over his chest, as his eyes closed, as his mind flashed back to that time, to that moment. It was like yesterday, as he felt the sharp little pain, the way the teeth pulled, then the tongue would lick around the still shaking flesh of the nipple.
Bobby’s hands were all over him, touching him, caressing him or prodding him, as he lay on top of Dan. He felt so alive then, so loved, that he couldn’t help but whimper a little, as Bobby continued to just touch him. It was unreal, how hot it made him, how the sweat was beading up and rolling down his body. Nothing had ever felt so good, as he felt the hand reaching for his stiff pole, giving it a quick stroke.
Then the hand moved down, to prod at his testicles, to make them ache in a way Dan had never felt before. The fingers poked at his leathery sac, then slid down, to lightly caress the spot just between his balls and his rectum. They pressed lightly, each stroke making his cock jerk, making Dan begin to pant a bit, as his heart started to race faster. His eyes were blinking, seeing strange flashes of light, brilliant colors that popped into view, then disappeared.
The finger moved further backwards, between his cheeks, and Dan could feel it move up his tender valley until it was nestled up against his tight little hole. He could feel himself pucker, feel the muscles around the tiny entrance quiver. His legs stiffened, as the finger begin to probe his hole, to circle it and as Bobby’s hot breath blew across his belly.
The kiss on his groin made him gasp for air, as the finger quickly penetrated him at the same time. He felt like he was in heaven, as the pain of penetration passed quickly. The kiss on his groin, the hot breath against his pubic hairs, only made him shake, shudder with desire. The press of the finger inside was slow and steady. He pressed down onto the finger, enjoying its presence for the first time. There wasn’t the pain, the uncomfortable feeling he had the other times.
It just felt right, as Bobby moved his finger around, moved it slowly in and out, all the time kissing his belly, his groin. He even licked at his cock, while his finger was probing him, until he began to beg him, to have him take him. Yet Bobby didn’t stop, he added a second finger, which Dan pressed down even harder upon, wanting it all inside of him. He could feel the knuckle up against his hole, his cheeks spread wide.
His feet moved apart, flat on the bed, his knees up and also spread apart, as Bobby continued to dig deep into him, with his two fingers. He moved them around, making them twist inside. Bobby lowered his head, but this time he didn’t kiss his belly, didn’t lick at his cock, but took it deep into his mouth. His hands now moved to rest under his thighs, and he squirmed around, between Dan’s legs. Then he felt the shoulders press up against him, and he knew what Bobby wanted. His own hands left their grip of Bobby’s shaggy hair, and he pulled his legs up and took hold of his ankles. He settled him on the bed, his head looked down his chest and up at Bobby.
Staring into his eyes he saw the glint, the glimmer of light His chest heaved, as he sucked in some air, then held it, as he watched Bobby unroll a condom down his cock and then glance up at Dan. Their eyes met and he could feel his passion, feel it as if it had suddenly become a bridge between them. Like tiny tentacles, he let his desire for Bobby, mingle with Bobby’s desire for him.
The press of Bobby’s cock head against his tiny hole, made him suck in more air, look deeper into Bobby’s eyes. He was ready, he knew it, as he felt the pressure building around his tiny hole, felt his muscle beginning to protest the assault. He breathed out, exhaling all that air, just as the cock head pressed past his muscles.
Pain, sharp and intense rolled up his spine, making him cry out. For a second, Bobby held himself still, until once more Dan was begging, urging him on. He couldn’t help himself, the pain was unbelievable, just like before, but yet it felt different. It was like it wasn’t a bad pain, but a good pain, as he felt his hands slip from his ankles, fall to the bed hard. He managed to keep his legs up high over his head, as he struck the side of the bed, as the waves of pain raced through his whole body.
Bobby was huffing, sweat was falling from his forehead onto Dan’s scrunched up chest, as the cock drove deep into him, then pulled back, to once more drive in. Bobby kept it slow and steady, making Dan moan and making Dan’s head roll from side to side, as he let the pain inside turn into nothing but pure pleasure. He groaned his satisfaction, telling him how good it felt, how great it was, how he wanted him to go faster, and faster. Bobby seemed to hear him, as his thrusts begun to get just that, faster.
He could feel the long pole driving into him, then as it pulled back, Dan could feel his muscles protesting, struggling to keep the thick pole inside. Then, just as he thought it would leave, it would come rushing back to him. He would try to meet it, his body arching upwards, to greet Bobby’s downward thrust.
Dan leaned back in his kitchen chair, remembering how it had felt, feeling it even now. How hard it had felt, how thick and how full he felt. Nothing was forgotten, not even how it kept going faster and faster while the sun shone in through his bedroom window. How he could just imagine the squirrels in the trees shaking their heads and bushy tails at the strange sounds coming from the humans.
It gave him a smile, as he felt the ache inside, realizing just how good it had really felt, as Bobby had fucked him. The way his hips would move, shake, and twist too, as he drove his cock into Dan’s ass. Just as if it was last night, he could feel it now. The dull ache inside, the way it had felt when his own cock had been jerking between their sweaty bodies, and then how suddenly he knew he was going to shoot his load.
How he had felt panic at the idea of cumming, while Bobby was still deep inside of him. How high his voice had sounded as he yelled he was gonna shoot, how it made Bobby pump his ass even faster, harder. He didn’t think it could be possible, but Bobby’s cock was somehow moving faster, pounding his insides. The sound of his groin slapping into his sweaty butt cheeks only made the ache in his body worse.
Dan remembered how it felt, how his balls had slung upwards, then suddenly drop as their precious milk was released. He could still feel how thrilling it felt to feel his cum moving out from his balls, filling the shaft, then streaming out in a wild stream. How drops of his cum struck his own chin, how it hit Bobby’s one nipple, how it hung for a millisecond on his chest, before slowly sliding down, pushing the tiny tufts of hair down.
How good it felt was not something he would ever forget, even with his last breath of life, he knew he would remember how it felt to feel the cock inside of him, to feel it grow as his body shuddered from his own ejaculation. How he heard Bobby scream, heard that piercing cry as suddenly his insides were empty, and a gooey plastic unrolled condom was laying over his thigh, while the cock it had held, was now aimed right at him.
It was eerie and yet exciting to watch the head rear back, to see the blurred motion of the hand that gripped it become more blurred, as the head seemed to vibrate, then as it shot forward, to see the long trail of milky white cum fly out from the clenched fist. He could still feel his body shrink into the bed, as the hot splash of Bobby’s cum struck his stomach.
Dan remembered how he had flinched as the long stream of hot cum struck, how his muscles beneath his stomach suddenly uncoiled, how his whole body was nothing but a massive rolling mound of flesh. How every pore in his body was streaming sweat, as he flinched to the second stream that struck his inner thigh. He felt like he was being hit by live flames of fire, yet the instant after it touched, it was cooling.
Nothing could ever be any better than that, but then that was just the afternoon. Dan looked down into his coffee cup, wondering what it would be like today, if he had done more, said more back then? Would Bobby have come back to him, would he be retiring now, or would he have sold out long ago?
He sighed as he made his way to his bedroom. So much had happened, and now that he had the time, what did he have to show for it? Some cash in the bank? A paid up house, shiny new SUV and a house at the lake, but those were just material things. There wasn’t anyone to share it with, to help him enjoy it all, and yet, at the back of his mind, he wondered if he would trade all that, to have someone here with him now, someone like Bobby?