By Ian Kovnats ()
Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved
Trent’s smile grew wider, as he too began to remember, to recall just how that night had gone from one high to an even greater high. How the whole night had been one strange progression of reaching one plateau, then climbing upwards to the next, each one higher, each one giving him an even greater view, better feeling than the one previous.
Leaning back, once again, Trent let his mind go back, to that night out with Rob, to that tent by the river. He could hear the river running now, hear the panting breath of both Rob and himself. How good it had all felt, the total exhaustion, the feeling of being spent. In his wildest dreams, Trent had never thought it would feel like that, that it would be like it had been.
He had stared down his body, seeing the patches of dried sweat, seeing the mop of blond hair resting on his belly. How sweet it looked, how right it all felt to him. He didn’t know why it had happened, but it had. That had made the day the best of his young life, or so he had felt then, not knowing that it would be a memory that would carry him through more than just that night.
How it had felt, watching his chest slowly rise and fall, as the lungs were once more filled, as feeling once more returned to his limbs. No one could put it into words, the feelings he was having, as one hand reached out, to play lightly with some of the strands of Rob’s hair. Even just touching them, seemed to let him relive those precious moments from just a few minutes earlier.
After a few more seconds, the blond hair moved, and the head turned to stare up at him. He could see the eyes glittering, like two tiny stars that had gone super nova. How brilliant they shone, how deep their warmth penetrated him, and he could feel it now, feel it as intensely as if it was then. He felt the tremors inside, all over again, as his body sunk deeper into the back of the cold metal chair.
Nothing could replace that feeling. Not the winning promotion to his current rank, not to getting a medal by the President himself, could make him feel any better, than that look had made him feel. How those eyes seemed to reach out, to touch his very soul, was still the most powerful feeling he had experienced. It was the high of his life, as he sat there, remembering how the blond head grinned up at him, at how the tongue licked the cum stained lips, tasting his milk a second time.
How it had made him feel so alive, so real. Then how the head had lifted up, how the body moved up along his, to rest once more, side by side. This time Rob’s arm lay across Trent’s chest, the fingers wrapped down and under his ribs. How they felt so close to him, how he felt the hot breath across his bare chest, nipple.
Never, in his dreams, his fantasies, had Trent ever thought it would be like this. It had never occurred to him, how deep the emotions were, or could be. Yet even as he lay there, strength slowly returning to his body, he could feel the desire growing too. He could feel the growing desire, specially the way Rob had looked at him. How his eyes seemed to be talking to him, telling him how good that had been, how good the rest would be.
They had moaned, groaned and he knew he had screamed a few times, but nary a word. Not one syllable had passed their lips that could be considered a word. Yet he felt as if they had spoken volumes, in a way he had never felt before. It was like each time he looked at Rob, or Rob at him, they could read each other’s mind. They could feel the thoughts inside their heads, understand the desires that run through their brains.
Maybe he wasn’t as good at it as Rob, but there was no mistaking how he just seemed to know, to understand exactly what Trent was thinking. Like now, as he glanced down, to see him looking up, to see him grinning as he moved his legs slightly, to show his hard cock. He had been thinking that, wondering what it would taste like, what it would feel like to have one in his own mouth, as Rob had just done for him.
He felt the excitement inside, as Rob spread his legs apart, showing off his groin. How beautiful the hard pole looked, as it stuck out from the light colored hairs that surrounded its thick base. He could see the thick head, how it seemed to be like a molten rock, waiting to be blown out from the top of an erupting volcano.
How just looking at it, he knew that he would be tasting it. That his thoughts were read, that his desire was also Rob’s desire. He couldn’t understand how, least not then, but he did now, as he felt the scene growing in front of him. He could see the lantern flickering, see the flames from their fire still flickering outside. How they looked against the tent walls, like dancing shadows that rose up and fell down, in strange erotic patterns, that only made him more excited. Like some strange aphrodisiac, the way the flames moved, adding to the whole night’s mood.
Trent’s desire to taste Rob’s cock was growing, but he didn’t know how to say it. Then as he looked back up, he realized he didn’t have to ask, as Rob just smiled, and slowly moved his body around, so his groin was now within reach of Trent’s upper body. At the same time, he rested his head on the lower thigh, his hand moving lightly across the small hairs of Trent’s leg.
Rob’s legs moved in closer, and he could smell him. That strange aroma of testosterone, of a man aroused, filled his nostrils, as he breathed it all in very deeply. He felt nervous, as he tried to think about it, but the sight of the hard cock, its smell, its closeness, banished the thoughts from his mind, His body was in charge, as he found his hand was already busy, lightly massaging the full thigh next to him. His eyes were fixed so intently on the cock, he hadn’t even noticed how he too had shifted his body, so he lay on one side.
His eyes closed tightly, his hand grasped the other firmly, as his mind took him back to that moment. He felt his body shift, felt himself leaning on his side, pressing down onto Rob’s prone body. The touch of his hands made him tingle, the press of their bodies made him tremble a bit, as he breathed in the intoxicating scent coming from Rob’s groin. He loved how it played with the tiny hairs in his nostrils, how it made them flare, how it made his heart once more begin to pound deep in his chest.
He breathed in deeply, as his hand moved up & along the thigh, to play with the small wiry pubic hairs. How each strand felt being run through his fingers, how he felt the tiny electric jolts, as the tips of his fingers brushed past the thick base of the throbbing pole. It made him groan, a soft rumbling sound, that seemed to go on forever.
Then he felt the jolt, the fire inside, as his hand moved over, to take hold of the throbbing pole. He felt his body shake, as his eyes opened, to stare at the winking eye of the cock, at the oozing white precum that was rolling down the rounded head. He felt like his mind was somehow detached from his body, as if it was floating above, as he watched his tongue come flicking out, taking the falling drop of precum on its tip, then bringing it back into his mouth, for him to taste.
It had a salty taste to it, one he was totally unaccustomed to, yet it had a sort of sweetness buried inside, that made it palatable. He felt his stomach gurgle, felt his tastebuds shrink back, then surge forward, wanting to taste it again, urging him to give them more.
He watched as his tongue flicked out again, tasting more of the precious fluid, then he saw how his hand tightened its grip around the pole. How his fingers were white at the knuckles as he held the throbbing pole in his fist. It made his body tremble even more, as he watched in amazement as he saw his head lowering itself. He could see his hair, how it hung down in a dishevelled mess around his neck, how it fell across one eye, how his other hand reached up and angrily pushed it out of the way.
Every movement was etched on his mind, like he had actually saw it happen, as his mouth slowly opened, while moving forward. How his tongue reared back, licking his lips hurriedly, as they came closer to the throbbing cock. How his heart was pounding, how the blood was rushing through every vein, how his own cock was suddenly being held.
It all flashed across his vision, as his head came closer, as he saw his eyelids flutter, saw then struggle to stay open, but fail. Just as his head was right over the fiery cock head, he saw his eyes close, saw his mouth open a bit wider, as they moved closer, small ridges from his skin just lightly touching the hot skin of the head. He could feel the jolts inside, feel the giddiness too, as his head lowered itself even more.
How his whole body shook, how it seemed to quiver in the dim light from the lantern behind his back. Trent could see it all, as he felt it all happen. How it made him groan, he could hear that too. Even now, decades later, he could see it all, feel it all. It was just as powerful, as he saw his head lower, felt the lips wrap around the head. The taste of precum filled his mouth, making him lick his lips now, as he could taste it, once more.
The way his tongue moved to one side, how the lips surrounded the cock head, sliding downwards, slowly. He felt the cock shake, felt it tremble, then push up a bit, anxious for his mouth to cover it all. How he had obliged too, how it felt watching his nose bury itself deep into the soft groin, tiny blond pubic hairs all around the bridge of his nose.
Every detail was etched on his memory, just as if a picture had been taken every second from behind his head. He could see the tiny hairs fall flat against the groin, saw how one moved below, another to the side, and how the balls shook, as his hot breath wafted across the sac. How big they seemed to grow, as his lips held the base of the cock between them. It all was there, as was how Rob was feeling.
He could hear him, hear him sucking in his breath, hear his heart racing, as his cock was sucked up into Trent’s mouth. At how he trembled, as the tip of his cock head banged up against the roof of Trent’s mouth, then pushed past to enter his throat. He could see how Rob’s body was shaking, how his legs had become like steel beams, rigid and firm.
His eyes might be closed, but he could see how Rob’s toes were curled, how his one big toe was flexing, was trying to dig itself back into the sole of Rob’s foot. How the other toes were curling, some pushing away from the others, while his mouth took all of Rob’s cock inside.
It was as if he had done it before, the way it just seemed to fit perfectly inside. He didn’t feel any trouble, no objection from his muscles, as the thick pole pushed inwards, as it made its way into his throat, filling it fully. He could feel his nostrils flaring, trying to breath, while at the same time enjoy the taste of the hard cock.
His body shook, but he could see the muscles in Rob’s stomach rolling, seem them shuddering as they contracted in time to the way his tongue was trying to lick at the thick pole. His body was constantly quivering, as if he was having some sort of spasm. His muscles all ached, as he saw his head pull back, saw the glistening pole sliding out, coated in his saliva. Then he saw how his head moved quickly back down, gobbling it back inside.
Trent could feel the cock throbbing. He could feel the blood flowing all around it, feel the nerves in the head tingling as his lips held it firmly under the head. His own body was tingling too, as he felt Rob’s hands massaging the inside of his thigh, stopping every few seconds.
The feeling of Rob touching him ended, as he saw how his head tilted back, at how his mouth was open, his eyes shut tightly. He could see the way his face was drawn, how the muscles inside were drawn taut, as his mouth moved up and down Rob’s cock.
Each beat of his heart, mirrored the beat of Rob’s own heart. The faster it beat, the faster his followed. The more it thundered, the louder his own heart echoed in his ears. It was like twin hearts, the way his body and Rob’s, shook together, in unison. Strange how he really hadn’t noticed it before, at how so much they were in tune with each other.
How it made everything seem so much better, so special. He still felt in awe at it all, at how deeply he felt Rob’s presence, even now. Just as then, he could feel his mind inside his, as if they were talking. He could feel every beat, just as he did then. It made each feeling more real, more intense.
Just as how he felt, when he could feel the balls swell, feel them reach that point where they would either explode or burst. How he felt the rumble deep down inside of Rob’s body, how he felt his mind flashing, how the electrical charges seemed to just grow between them. It was all doubled, as it included his own feelings, his own waves of pleasure.
His mind seemed to see it all, to experience it all. How the tiny blond hairs on Rob’s arms suddenly stood up, how the hairs on the nape of his neck were all standing straight up from the burning flesh, how they waved in the air within the tent. They all were noted, as was how the tiny hairs along the sac were looking like they would pop out, as he felt the tremor begin, deep down inside of Rob.
He felt the cock vibrate in his mouth, felt the head shaking, then rear back, as he saw the muscles in Rob’s legs tighten even more. Strong bonds of steel was how they looked, like the wire running to hold up a suspension bridge. Thick and round, each weave taut and strong. It was how his legs were, as he felt the rushing pressure coming from the tiny hole in the cock.
It was unreal, like a herald announcing the coming stampede. The way it blew into his mouth, following almost immediately by the hot salty taste of liquid, that felt like an entire ocean had been poured into his mouth. He felt his throat recoil, felt an overpowering urge to constrict, but how the that urge was refused by his body, by his heart. How the blood inside of Rob was rushing, pushing the hot milky cream forward, like a powerful jet engine.
The roar in his ears was filled by the thunder of his and Rob’s beating heart, by the loud cries that came from his legs, and he could see it too. He could see the wide open mouth, see the teeth glistening, as the cry came breaking upon his ears. He felt the wave of pleasure, felt it reaching his tongue, his throat, then his whole body, as more of Rob’s cum flowed out into his open mouth.
How hot it felt, how sweet at times, how salty even, and how good it all tasted. He had never tasted it before, other than his own, but this was so different, so much better, that he felt his body wanting more. He couldn’t explain it, not then, not now, but it was like he could feel more of Rob, than before. It was as if he could understand his signals more, as he watched how his face twisted, as his body continued to arch upwards, giving him more of that precious milk.
Sitting there now, it was like he could taste it all over, again. He had the same feeling of wonder, the same excitement of something new. Odd, as he had tasted other men, since, but the only real taste he could remember was that from Rob. Glancing down at him, he realized just how special his relationship had been, how unique it had been.
Yes, there had been other men, other guys early on in his life, in his career since that birthday campout, but none seemed to be as vivid in his mind, as the times he was with Rob. Nothing he could dredge up now, could equal how good it felt, just thinking of the times with Rob. Yet until now, he never really understood that, never really comprehended why it was so special, so crystal clear in his memory.
Hell, he couldn’t even remember the names of some he had later on, yet he could still see those hairs standing up on Rob’s leg, decades earlier. He could still see clearly the way his face looked, as his jizz pumped into his mouth that first time. It was like he was seeing it replayed on a digital captured video, though he knew it wasn’t. They didn’t even exist when his memory had been made.
Tears were welling up in his eyes, once more as Trent realized just what he had missed. All those lonely nights he had accepted could have been filled with Rob’s laughter, with his presence, if only he had the guts to accept what had been so freely given to him, so many years earlier. If only he had seen past his goals, seen what really mattered. Maybe he wouldn’t be the frosty man he was today, maybe none of this would be, if he had simply stood up, and accepted who he was?
It was a sobering thought as he felt the tears roll down his face, as his eyes once more sought those of Rob. He saw them staring back at him, almost as if Rob could read his mind. They looked the same, as they had that night, clear, free of all pain, as Rob spoke to him, just as he had that night. No words, just the beat of his heart next to his own.
The world could be disintegrating around him, but he couldn’t hear it, just the warm steady beat of Rob’s heart, next to his. It felt good, it felt like it belonged there, as his mind cried out, as his failures from the past seemed to just, disappear. It was as if he was being absolved of his past inaction, his past reluctances.
The pain in his chest, around his heart seemed lifted as Rob’s blue eyes stared deeply into his soul. He could feel it, just as he could feel the pulsing beat of the heart. It shouldn’t be, couldn’t be. He was a practical man, one trained in the art of believing what you saw, not what you felt deep in your gut. Trent had never been a man of faith, of blind belief in something unknown, unproven. Yet at this moment in his life, he found he did have faith, have what he always thought had been missing in his character, real courage.
The catch in his throat made the hand squeeze his just a bit harder, and once more he felt his eyes drawn to Rob’s. He could see it all, see the love that he had refused to acknowledge, to accept. It was still there, for him, and he felt the easing of his heart.
Leaning back, feeling exhausted, he wondered how he could have missed all the signs. How could he not have known that what Rob shared with him that night, had been out of love, not out of some physical need? Nothing about that night had been casual, had been borne out of some physical lust or desire. He knew it then, but had refused to accept it.
Even now, he found it hard to understand how blind he had been. What else would you call it, when a man didn’t accept that what had passed between them, had been more than just getting off? There was no excuse, yet as he held onto Rob’s hand, as he let his mind drift back to that night, he knew that it was from fear.
Fear is what had held him back, lack of having the guts to let himself feel, beyond the moment, was what had nearly cost him everything. He felt the shame again, though not as he had felt it back then. Then it was from being a freak, or so he had thought, and even after that night, he still felt like he was a freak of nature, an abomination.
It had taken the news, read by some uncaring, unknowing face, telling him of the day’s causalities, of hearing the name, that he had known for so long, being on that list, that had finally woken him up. He smiled as he remembered how surprised his aide had been when he had ordered transport for here. How the man had reminded him of his important meeting with the Commanding General, and how his aide’s face had looked when he told him to fuck the general and get him transport to this field hospital.
The look on the young man’s face when he asked what he should tell the General, of where he had gone, was priceless. It was like someone had let off an RPG in the entire complex, the way it had grown so silent as he had simply told the man to tell the General he had gone to see his lover.
The way his clerk had dropped his clipboard, papers flying all over the place, at how the young corporal by the computer had nearly fallen off his chair. It was priceless now, but then it was just an irritant. He didn’t really give a damn what they were thinking, just as long as they got him the transport, just as long as he made it here, before it was too late.
Looking down, the small smile on the lips were good enough for him. Sure, the shit would hit the fan when he got back, if not sooner, but he didn’t care. He had something they couldn’t take from him, he had the memories of those times, those all too few times, when he had let himself be a real man.
He felt the tap on his shoulder, heard the faked cough as he looked up to see the Orderly standing there, at attention. His face was pure white, and there was a horrible zit on his chin, but he wasn’t a bad looking kid, he thought as he asked him what he wanted.
‘Uh Sir, there is a General outside.’
‘One of ours?’
‘Huh? Uh, Yes Sir, he wants to see you, he uh, he looks pretty uh, pretty upset Sir.’
Trent looked at the orderly and smiled. It was obviously going to be sooner than later he thought, as he turned his head to look down at Rob. He saw his eyes staring at him, questioning him, but he just smiled back at Rob.
The sounds of the river were gone. There was no soft gentle rustle of wind blowing through trees now, just the dull mechanical whirl of cold lifeless machines. He could hear them once again, as he realized that the orderly was waiting for an answer.
Somehow, he felt more confident, more in charge of his life than at any other time. It was like a whole new world had just opened up in front of him. He no longer feared what people would say, or even do. There was a lot more to living, than always being afraid.
‘Son, tell the General I am busy.’
‘Uh Sir, I uh, he’ll have my ass, he uh…’
‘Just tell him son, he won’t bite, he’ll save that for me, now shoo, go.’
He could hear the man suck in his breath, could even feel his eyes staring at him, but he was already pushing him out of his thoughts, as he held the hand, raising it up to his lips, and kissing the back of it.
From deep inside he could hear himself talking to the warm spirit next to his heart. ‘I am not running anymore Rob, I am going nowhere, without you.’
The hand tightened a bit and he could see the answer in the man’s face. The pain had somehow been pushed back as they just looked into each other’s face, knowing what was in their hearts. He could feel that passion, just as he had back then. As the door to the room closed on the orderly’s exit, the sounds of machines grew more distant, more muted. He was once more letting himself go back, to a time he wished he had more of. To a time when life had its moments, to a point in his past when he truly felt as alive, as free, as he did at this minute.
He smiled as he could hear his own pounding chest, feel the hot warm milk dripping out of the corner’s of his mouth, as Rob’s cock pulsed and jerked inside of his mouth. He was back, to remembering what was important.
Picture Post, courtesy BoyFunk[singlepic=533,250,,,center]