Troy felt a slight twinge in his back, but all he could think of, was how good it had felt to be inside of Philippe. Amazing how he could still feel that way, plus how his body seemed to have ignored the pain from the afternoon practice. Mind over matter, the coach always said, when they were facing a tough opponent, but now the reality was, they would have to deal with Tommy.
It was almost as if Philippe could read his mind, as he rolled over a bit, and let his head rest a bit higher up on Troy’s chest. His hair smelled from sweat, with just a hint of his shampoo remaining. Yet he breathed it in deeply, as he felt the warmth of Philippe’s cheeks on his bare chest. He had never felt so relaxed, even with thinking of Tommy.
Philippe’s hand rested on Troy’s stomach, and he could feel the fingers as they moved a bit, not much, but enough for him to feel. Inside, he still couldn’t believe how good it had all felt, to be with him, to taste him, to enter him. Nothing had prepared him for the way he had felt, at how he seemed to become someone different, someone consumed by a strange fire, and yet now, he felt like the world was at his feet. It was like he couldn’t stop wanting more, even though he knew his body was totally drained, completely exhausted.
Not like he was some stud, that he could compare it with, and yet inside, he knew there would never be another moment, as intense, in the way that he had just experienced. His own arm moved up and around Philippe’s body, to rest over his back and shoulders. Troy could feel the warmth of his body, the dried sweat even, and all he could think of, was how warm it had been, to be inside of his body, to be touching him in a way that he still didn’t understand.
It was special, and the pain from the tackle, seemed like it was a distant memory, yet he knew he’d be feeling it all over again, once Philippe left. And that thought, made him grimace more, than those swirling thoughts of what Tommy might do, in retaliation. He just didn’t want the moment to end, knowing it would.
‘You had a thing for him?’
Troy felt the body under his arm tense, as he had spoken, and he knew too, that what he had felt about Tommy, was nothing to how he felt about Philippe now. Then too, he saw Tommy in a different light now, one that made him wonder what he had ever seen in him, before.
‘Yeah, I did.’
‘Why? The guy is a jerk.’
‘Yeah, but even jerks can be hot, and you gotta admit it, Tommy is hot.’
‘Uh, you two, how uh…’
‘I blew him, once, that is all… and no, it wasn’t forced. It just, shit it just happened, and I dunno, guess it freaked him more than I thought.’
Philippe got silent, as he laid there, resting on top of Troy. It felt good to have him nestled into his own body, as he could feel his heart beating, feel his lungs as they expanded and contracted. It just felt right. For the life of him, he didn’t know why, but it was something he never wanted to end, to stop feeling.
‘Was it good?’
‘I dunno, at the time, I thought it was.’
‘Now? Fuck, it was a blow job, doesn’t seem like it was anything more now, if you, if you get what I am saying.’
‘Yeah, I think so. Uh…’
It was true too. Until tonight, he had thought it was something special, that it meant something, yet now, it all felt so ordinary, so uneventful. Oh it had meaning, in some way, but it wasn’t like he had imagined. Not now, anyhow.
‘You think he is, ya know… Gay?’
He really had never thought about that. Oh he had hoped, even maybe dreamed that Tommy could be, but inside, he had never really thought he was. Could be he was trying to not get his hopes up, or get himself into trouble, like that worked real well. Still, why would Tommy have come back to let him blow him, then show up here for more?
‘I suppose, hard to really know, I mean he did freak out at first, though it was, shit, does it matter?’
‘maybe, i don’t know, I just…’
Troy found his hand was running lightly through Philippe’s hair, and that so far, they hadn’t really looked at each other. It was like, well like two lovers discussing the day’s events, of what had happened and not, about their friends latest screw ups. In short, it felt like what a couple would do, but still, behind the softly spoken words, were the hidden meanings.
Maybe he shouldn’t have told Philippe about sucking Tommy off, but then, it wasn’t something he could hide. Then too, it did feel different. Having Philippe’s dick in his mouth, was a damn site more enjoyable, than he had felt when he had taken Tommy’s, so why shouldn’t he let him know that? Why should he hide how he felt, just because that was what guys were supposed to do?
‘It’s his loss man, if he is, well, I don’t see him admitting it, do you?’
‘No, guess not, which means…’
‘yeah, we are in the shit.’
‘I suppose, but not right away, or do you think?’
For the first time, he rather felt that he hated Tommy. It wasn’t that he was fond of him, after his stunt, but now, having to think about him, about what he might do, made him turn his infatuation with him, into strong dislike. Maybe hate was too strong, but then again, everything he had thought about Tommy, had dreamed about him, was just that, a mirage.
What was real was now, that not only was he in shit of being exposed, but that Philippe was at risk too. That somehow made him even angrier, to think that because he had a thing for Tommy, it had put Philippe into danger.
‘He does have a nasty streak, I don’t know Philippe, but I don’t really, not now, tomorrow but let’s not talk about it now.’
‘You still want to see me tomorrow?’
‘Fuck yeah, why? Don’t you?’
‘I do, just, I uh, I don’t know, this is all so new, I mean… not just the sex, but being… well being with a guy, this way, as well…’
‘yeah, feels the same for me, but… it just feels right, least for me.’
‘then screw Tommy, the team, the fucking world, I mean shit man, this isn’t the dark ages.’
‘feels like it at times, though.’
‘I guess, but… fuck it man, I am tired of being someone else. I want to be like they are, ya know?’
‘Uh huh, I do, and I want it too, just… are you certain?’
‘No, course not, are you?’
‘Fuck no, but then, I don’t want to have to sneak around to be with you, either.’
Troy lifted himself up a bit, and squirmed up so his back leaned up against the headboard. It hurt a bit to move, but he ignored it, as he realized what they were talking about, and at how dangerous it could be. He didn’t think too many at school, would do anything, but the guys on the team, was a different matter. Some of them had been pretty vocal about gays, and though it was all talk, it was something they should consider.
He wasn’t sure either, if he was ready to give up the team, just to be out, to be open about who he liked, who he preferred to sleep with. No way would some on the team take to that easily, but then he wouldn’t be doing it alone, and that was something, wasn’t it?
Looking down at Philippe, who was now staring up at him, he felt his heart quiver a bit. God how handsome he looked, how desirable he seemed, and was. There was something special between them, which he didn’t quite get, or fully understand, but what they were talking about, was something he had only dreamed of. Never, did he think he’d have the nerve to actually do it, but then, that is what he thought about his fantasy of sucking Tommy off.
‘guess we don’t have a choice then, do we?’
‘not really, but then, we could try, if you wanted to?’
‘Hiding? No, I think with your taste for blood, we don’t have a choice there.’
‘uh huh, but you know Philippe, maybe it won’t be so bad? I mean other than a few of Tommy’s crowd, I doubt the other’s will do much, other than maybe make some lame comments.’
Philippe stopped staring at Troy’s crotch, and glanced up. He had a strange look as if he had just been struck by something. The way his brow scrunched up, and how his eyes seemed to have some sparkle to them. If it wasn’t for the topic, he’d reach down and pull him up, so he could kiss him, but he held back. Mainly though it was from trying to think of a way, to make coming out, not as painful as he thought it would be.
‘I suppose, but, maybe we can sort of, I mean, do you think Tommy is gonna come after us, right away?’
‘honestly, I don’t know, maybe, but he won’t wait for long, to try something.’
‘unless we come out first.’
‘you mean tell the team before he does?’
‘sort of. I have an idea.’
‘I am all ears.’
‘Bit more than that, I think’ he said, as Troy felt Philippe put his hand down between Troy’s legs. It felt good, to feel his touch, the way his fingers moved over his sac, and around his semi hard dick. Amazing at how he wanted to still play around, even though they were planning the biggest decision of their lives.
He waited, as Philippe seemed lost in thought, while at the same time, his hand moved lightly over Troy’s pubes. He felt the stirring in his guts, the way his body seemed to tense, as Philippe’s hand moved across his hairs. Maybe it was the combination of being touched, and of the looming danger of coming out? Either way, he felt like maybe they would do more than talk, as he let his eyes flicker for a moment, relishing the soft touch.
‘What do you think of Cory?’
He thought about Cory, who really was a popular stud on campus. Then too, he was the quarterback, which naturally made the girls go gaga over him, and in his way, he was rather attractive. Not quite what he was into, as he sported that barely shaved look, that he never quite understood. How the hell could you nestle with someone, and kiss, if their face was always scruffy? Besides, Cory was a bit too beefy for his tastes, not to mention tall.
‘well, he’s not my type…’
‘I should hope not, but no, you know what I mean, think he’s like Tommy, or more open minded?’
He got a strange look, that sort of made him shrink a bit. The idea of Philippe being pissed at him, instantly made him want to cover up his dick, but then too, the notion that someone would care enough about him, was rather thrilling. Still, Cory wasn’t his type, but nice to know that Philippe cared.
‘I dunno, never really, I dunno, why?’
‘Most of the team, even Tommy’s defensive guys, all follow his lead, don’t they? I mean, shit, most of the school does, right?’
‘What if he were on our side?’
Quickly thinking back, he tried to figure out where this was all coming from. He didn’t think Cory was gay, and maybe that was what Philippe was trying to imply? Or could it simply be, that he was gay friendly, if there was such a thing? He felt a bit, uncertain as he thought about the guy. After all, they played on the same team, and being a receiver, they had to know how the other thought, to a point.
Cory wasn’t really one of those, gung ho types who made speeches either. He let his arm and play calling do the talking, but for the life of him, he didn’t know if he was pro or against gays. All he knew was that he liked to win, that he hated losing, but never once, had he put the blame on others, when it wasn’t their fault.
If he was in their corner, it would make a difference, and would go a long way to keeping Tommy from going too far overboard. Would it be enough to avoid a riff in the team? Or to keep them from getting the crap beaten out of them at practise? That was something to consider, because they would be most vulnerable then.
‘It wouldn’t hurt, but would he?’
‘We could talk to him, it might.’
‘Yeah or just speed things up too.’
‘I suppose, but Jesus Troy, what have we got to lose?’
‘Not much I guess, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up. I mean, shit, the guy is cool, and seems fair, but something about a guy being gay, makes even the nicest straight guy, turn into a screaming redneck.’
‘yeah, still, it’s worth a shot. Thing is, we should do it together, but uh, what or how do we tell him?’
‘I guess we just tell him.’
‘And what do we say about Tommy?’
‘Fuck, I don’t know, maybe the truth?’
‘Oh yeah, that would go over well, NOT.’
‘Troy, if we hold back, or lie, we don’t stand a chance of him backing us.’
He sighed, because inside, he knew that Philippe was right. Still the idea of having to explain why Tommy showed up wanting to be blown, was, embarrassing. Hell, Cory might wind up getting the impression that he was trying to score with all the guys on the team, or some other shit.
Then too, if he didn’t spill it all, and Cory found out anyhow, which was likely, they’d be up the creek. It wasn’t fair, he thought, as he stared up at the ceiling, then everywhere but at Philippe. He couldn’t look at him, just yet, as he tried to figure out, if even talking to Cory was worth it all.
It was a risk, because if they did and he did explain everything, it would leave him, and Philippe, wide open. They’d have really nothing to fall back on, or to cover themselves with. That was the biggest problem, because if it didn’t work out, they’d have no safety net, and being on the team, would be a thing of the past.
‘and if he won’t? You thought about that?’
‘yeah, I have, and yeah, I know, we’d be royally fucked.’
‘Fuck is that an understatement.’
‘But if he does, maybe then we could still play, I mean, you do still want to play on the team, right?’
‘Hell yes, but, even if he does back us, practise could be rough, you think of that?’
‘Uh huh, but then, was it any better for you today, when no one knew?’
‘No, but you think he deliberately tried to hurt me? Cuz, I am not so sure.’
‘Neither am I, but isn’t it a risk we kind of have to take, unless…’
‘I don’t know, I just… fuck Troy, I want to be with you, not just behind some bushes, or where no one else goes. I want to be able to be seen with you, not be afraid of what some might say.’
‘I want that too, but even if things go our way, some still will make a scene.’
‘I know, but… I think it’s worth it.’
He looked down at him then, and saw the small drops of tears at the corners of his eyes, and he felt his own eyes tearing up, because he felt the same way. There was no explanation for it, for how quickly he had fallen for Philippe, or how suddenly he meant so much to him. There didn’t seem to be anything he wouldn’t do for him, and inside, he felt that held true, for Philippe, as well.
There was a risk, he knew that, yet he also knew that you couldn’t always play it safe. You had to sometimes take a risk, to make a big play, and this wasn’t any different. If, and it was a big if, Cory backed them up, or at least stayed out of it, they might have a chance. If, and it was possible, he came out against them, they’d have to think about a transfer out of school, at best.
It sucked, having to think about those things, when really, all he wanted to do was to curl up and hug the guy. He could feel his body warming up too, despite the heavy burden of what lay ahead, but he couldn’t help but admire the way Philippe had stood up to Tommy, and now, was willing to risk it all just to be with him, like any other couple.
‘Okay, we’ll talk to Cory, but tomorrow, right now, no more talking.’
Philippe gave him a big grin, as he let his head rest on Troy’s chest, his head staring up at him. Those eyes were wide as saucers, as he just grinned, and as his hand began to fondle Troy’s balls. It was almost as if he was reading his mind, as the hand moved up and around to cup each full ball, then lightly tickle the underside of his stiffening cock.
‘Not even a small whimper or moan?
He laughed, feeling once more at ease, as he reached down, to let his own hand run down the back. He felt the excitement inside building, as he felt the soft press of Philippe’s lips on his chest, teasing him, as he closed his eyes, letting the pleasure fill his thoughts.
To be continued…
You have been reading:
Making the Play
By Ian Kovnats ()
Copyright © 2009 ? All Rights Reserved
Category ¦ Athletes, Jocks
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