to a Different Beat
By Ian Kovnats ()
Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved
The sky was just beginning to lighten, as the bus rattled along the highway. They had been on the road all night long, as Jeremy stared out the window. It was the first time he had managed to snag a window seat. Maybe it was a sign that the others had finally given up on making him the target of their jokes, of their nastiness.
They would be at the ferry terminal in another couple of hours, then off to the Island on the 7am run. According to the band director, they’d check into the hotel and have the whole day off. Tomorrow and Sunday would be practice days, then the parade on Monday. It would be their 5th parade in as many weeks, and he was a bit weary of it all.
At eighteen, a senior, this was supposed to be the culmination of his high school years. Next year he’d be off to college, if accepted, and would be starting all over. He hoped the stories were true, though, that at least in college it was easier to be queer. High School certainly hadn’t been fun for those who were, and he could testify to that.
Not that anyone knew, until they were on the road. Somehow he had managed to keep it secret, until that fateful night on their first day out. He could still hear the jeers, feel the sudden anger and hatred around him. It wasn’t fair, and maybe he should have denied it, or tried to bluff his way through it, but he hadn’t. Now he had spent nearly five weeks in pure purgatory, thanks to one simple mistake.
Leaning back in the seat, he turned to face the window, to just stare out at the passing scenery. He still couldn’t believe how those who he had known for years, could turn on him so suddenly. People like Roger, Mark, and Cory, all of whom he had known since grade school. They had joined Band together back then, when the drums they played were bigger than they were.
Yet one simple goof, and now they were the leaders of his torment, always jeering, always with the sissy boy, the fag jokes. It wasn’t any open attack, except when on the bus, or in the hotel rooms. He had looked forward to exploring the different cities with his friends, but instead he was left to wander the streets, the shops, alone. No one was willing to have him along, not even the girls.
In some respects they were meaner than him. The way some had come to him, showing off their lipsticks or make up purchases, loudly asking if like the color, given it wasn’t pink. That always got the guys snickering, and how some would seek his advice, in front of the others, about what under garments to wear. They wanted to know if it would get the guy’s hot, seeing as how he was an expert on what got guys turned on.
That had been the hardest part, and it wasn’t like the chaperons were any help. For the most part they snickered, or ignored it. To them it was harmless teasing, but it didn’t feel like that to him. Even the band leader turned a blind eye to the crap. Like at the first stop, when they had hidden his drum, or painted the words ‘faggot’ on the drum skin.
They even ignored it when they had replaced his harness with one made with frills, and colored a bright pink, and hid any of the others so he had to use it. Not one word of admonishment from the adults of the group, just the shake of a head, telling him he’d have to use it. That had to be one of the worst parades of his life. To go marching with the others, standing out from the entire group, in front of all those strangers. It even was picked up by the local television station, calling him some sort of activist, guessing at what he was trying to protest.
In some ways, he knew he had been stupid. The weekend before they were to leave, he had gone camping with Neil, and had taken some of his boy magazines with him. It was something he could share with Neil, a guy he had met at summer camp the previous year. They had found that they had more in common than being in the band of their respective schools.
He liked Neil, who was in the wind section of his high school band, a bit thin but man, he had been something that summer. They had kept up their friendship, and when Neil had a chance to come to Jeremy’s city, well they made plans to meet. Going camping before Neil left to go back had been his father’s idea, and well, it was a perfect way to end Neil’s visit.
The sex had been great, even better than at camp, as both had a bit more experience now, so he had taken some skin magazines with him. It had been fun to talk about which one’s were hot, which weren’t. To simply share an appreciation that other’s wouldn’t understand. And like an idiot, he had forgotten to empty his duffel bag before packing for the band trip.
Stopping at the campsite, that first night, he had forgotten about the magazines, Hell he’d forgotten about it before packing, so when he dumped his bag out, and the magazines came flying out, he had been as surprised as everyone else. Unfortunately they had moved faster, and it was around the whole campsite in seconds, or so it seemed.
He should have denied they were his, should have figured out some snappy lie, or better yet, taken a page from the Politicians and blamed them, saying that one of them must have put them there, to get at him. That is what he should have done, instead he had just stammered, just stood there pale as a ghost. And ever since he had been the butt of their so called sense of humor.
Staring out the window, he felt rather sad. He didn’t understand how guys like Mark or Ron could switch from being a friend, to being the enemy. It really didn’t make much sense, except maybe that they were trying to cover their own asses. The way some of the other’s had looked at them, wondering. He wondered if he would have acted that way too, if the situation had been reversed?
Looking out, he saw the darkness evaporating, saw the shapes becoming more defined as the bus rolled along. He was tired, but it wasn’t a good tired. Not like it had been on that last morning with Neil, at the camping spot they had found. No campgrounds for them, as they had trekked into the woods, off the beaten path, so that no one could intrude. It had been a week of nothing but sex, and he smiled as his body settled deep into the bus seat.
So what if they wanted to harass him? They couldn’t take away what he had, and soon he’d be away from them. Soon he’d be off making new friends, and like Neil had said, colleges had a more ‘gay friendly’ lifestyle. Sure, he would still need to be careful, but incidents like skin mags falling wouldn’t do more than raise an eyebrow.
They hadn’t done much exploring, other than the odd journey down to the river. There they had found a nice spot, shaded and not quite so open so that they could be seen. It had been fun, to lay on the ground, staring out at the sun shining down on the water. How it had glittered, but not as much as Neil’s eyes had, when he would get horny, which seemed to be all the time.
For a skinny kid, Neil did have a rather attractive body, when naked. The ribs didn’t really stick out that much, and his stomach was flat. It was fun to run his hand over it, because he could feel each muscle under the skin. Not like there was a lot of fat to cover it. His hips were a bit bony, but then Neil was what one would call your typical eighteen year old high school nerd or geek.
He liked computer sciences, and was nuts about astrology too. The way his face would light up when he was talking about some ram this or quad processors, or when he talked about the worlds beyond. Neil was one of those who liked to dream, but he was all guy too. He loved sex, talking about penises, cut or not, seemed to make his face glow as much as talking about the stars did.
While he didn’t think of himself as having a great body, he knew it was more muscular, more filled out than Neil’s was, but the sex had been so good, it really didn’t matter all that much. He might have outweighed Neil by 30 or so pounds, and he had a lot more hair on his legs than Neil, but when it came to comparing dicks, well Neil won that one hands down.
Who would have thought some skinny runt like Neil would have a dick the size of a torpedo? Back at summer camp it hadn’t been that big, least he hadn’t thought it had, but in a year, it was like some growth hormone had kicked in, or something. He even asked Neil if he had been using some of those ‘penis pills’ that inundated his email.
Neil had laughed, and said no, but the way he had laughed, grinned, had only made Jeremy stare at Neil more. They had been out at the river, laying there watching the sun come up. It was their first night, and already he had shot two loads and Neil had only shot once.
It wasn’t cold either, and they were stretched out on a pair of blankets, stark naked, just enjoying the warm air, the stars, and each other. He wished it didn’t have to be hidden, even then, but stupid he wasn’t. Least until the magazines had come out of his duffle bag. Now that was stupid, but thinking back to that first night, it seemed like no one should object to him or Neil.
Looking out, the whole night seemed to be just like that first night, at how Neil had lay next to him, his body just touching him in certain spots, and how good it had felt. The press of someone’s legs against his, of feeling his presence. It had given him some good feelings, and when they had turned their heads to look at each other, to talk or say something, it had felt so comfortable, that he wished he could do that with others.
He and Neil were typical eighteen year olds, least he thought so. Yet maybe they weren’t, because in all the locker room talk he had heard, no one ever talked about how it felt to lay next to the person they were boinking. No one talked about how it felt, just about how much cum they had shot, or how long they had been banging.
Maybe instead of hounding him, they could take a lesson in what real sex was like, from him and Neil. Man, he still could remember how good it had felt, when Neil had let his hand rest on Jeremy’s chest. How his heart had begun to beat a bit faster, as Neil caressed his chest, how the fingers would play the few chest hairs he had. How they felt, tingled as his fingers twisted them a bit, then flattened them out.
How his nipples seemed to stiffen as the tips of Neil’s fingers would gently circle them, then rub over the tip. How it made him tremble, how he would bite his teeth, as the hand moved slowly over his body. It was hard to put into words, but damn it had felt good, something he could still feel, if he thought about it real hard.
How his whole body shuddered, when Neil leaned over and lightly pressed his lips against the side of his chest, just beside a nipple. Man, he almost creamed right then and there, as the soft press of those moist lips touched his skin. It had been a perfect night, and the dawn was on track for being even more spectacular.
Strange, but thinking about that camping trip, he couldn’t remember when he hadn’t been hard, nor if Neil had ever been soft. It was like they were always stiff, always wanting to get it on, yet the sex wasn’t just about a quick suck or fuck. Okay, the first afternoon it had been, but only then.
It was more about how they seemed to just enjoy each other, to take their time, to savour it all. Maybe they weren’t typical, but damn the sex had been amazing. They had gone through a few boxes of on that trip. Thinking about it now, he realized too that it was more about the way they did things, than the mechanics of it. After all a fuck was a fuck, but it was how they led up to it, how they enjoyed the touch of each other, the closeness, that made it worth remembering.
Like that first morning, how Neil spent so much time just leaning on his side, while he explored all of Jeremy’s body. How good it had felt, the way his hand seemed to be all over him, touching, pressing. It was sort of like Neil was trying to memorize every part of him, where every dimple was, every ridge of skin was. How his finger would moved down the centre of his chest, towards his belly.
How it traced around his belly button, making him giggle a little, and how they laughed as suddenly they were tickling each other, hands flying to various body spots, to tickle, to touch. Their peals of laughter only seemed to make them want each other more. Strange that, but one second they were frolicking around, laughing and then the next, they were locked in a passionate kiss.
Neil tasted so good, but the sound of him laughing, the way he would squirm, to reach around and tickle him, or to just hold him, was an unbelievable experience. Everything felt so natural, so unrehearsed. It was as if they could read each other’s minds, know what the other wanted.
Why was that so wrong? So many seemed to think it was, but as he thought about it, he couldn’t understand it. He was happy when he could feel Neil’s arms around him, holding him. How good it had felt to feel his hot breath on his cheeks, while his hand was touching him. Nothing that felt that good, could be wrong.
His eyes closed as his head settled further into the seat, thinking of Neil, of that first morning. How Neil had moved around, how they had kissed, then how Neil was suddenly on top of him, his body pressing down. He could feel the press of his big dick, wedged up into the soft part of his groin, his own dick wedged upwards, against Neil’s belly.
Jeremy could feel the heart beating, feel the chest heaving as Neil kissed him hard. How his tongue had pushed past his teeth, had licked him deep inside, then pulled out, while his tongue returned the favour. It felt so good, to feel the Neil’s fingers digging into his upper arms, as he moved his hips from side to side, rubbing his hard cock against his crotch.
The way his body moved, to push at his own dick, to make it rub between them, then how he had sat up, his knees on either side of Jeremy. How he had looked down at him, his eyes looking so alive, so filled with fire. It had made his body shake a bit, made his heart skip a beat. Even now he could feel how good it had felt, to be looked at that way.
Nothing dirty about that, nothing unseemly. It just felt so natural, so good. How the eyes seemed to pierce his deep inside, touching him within. The way he had moaned softly, as Neil had looked at him, at how it felt to have his bony knees pushing against the outside of his thighs. Looking up, he knew what Neil wanted, knew it without having to ask.
He had smiled back, and had reached for his pants, to pull out a condom. Jeremy had felt the eyes following his movement, could feel the excitement building in the body on top of his, as he picked up the condom and turned to stare at Neil.
Handing it to him, he saw the eyes widen, saw the desire too. Hell, he could feel it. Until now, he had always been the top, the one to penetrate. Even back at summer camp, he had been the one to do it. Looking up at Neil, he felt the ache inside, knowing that this time, he wanted it as much as Neil had all those other times.
It wasn’t like he had never bottomed before, but for some reason, he really wanted it this time. He had this strange ache in his ass, that made him squirm, as he watched Neil tear the condom package, and take out the thin plastic. How it seemed to sort of shine, in his hand, as he grabbed the tip and looked down at Jeremy. It was so different than any of the other times. Something about it had made him lick his lips, made his eyes widen, as Neil stared down at him, as he adjusted himself to sit between Jeremy’s legs.
Everything felt suddenly quiet, still even. His heart seemed to be holding itself in check, as he glanced down his body, to see that large dick, to see the tiny white at the slit, as Neil reached down to grab hold of it. How big it looked, yet how much he wanted it. It didn’t make sense, as he watched Neil unroll the condom slowly down the cock shaft. Least to him it seemed slow, and almost, sensual. To think, that was soon going to be inside of him, made him tremble a bit, made him a bit anxious too.
He had dicks before, but nothing like Neil’s. Still he wanted it, could feel the desire in his body, as he spread his legs a bit, as his own cock was solid, like a rock, sticking up. They didn’t say a word to each other, as Neil finished unrolling the condom, then looked up at Jeremy.
It was as if he was asking if Jeremy was certain, and his reply had been a soft whimper, as if, he couldn’t wait. His body was trembling, as he lifted up his legs, pushing them apart, and reaching to hold them up high in the air, lifting his rear upwards, to give Neil a good view.
The sudden touch of Neil’s fingers around his balls, the way they moved down from the top, between his cheeks, made him shiver. His thighs quivered, the muscles tightening, as he clenched his legs. The pain of being in that position ignored, as his eyes became a bit glazed over. His chest hurt too, as he held his breath, as he licked his lips for the umpteenth time.
The touch was soft as the fingers moved down and circled his hole, then disappeared. He heard Neil slurping, as if he was sucking on something, then he felt the fingers back at his hole, felt their moist tips, knowing that the sound had been Neil sucking on his own fingers.
The tip of the finger circled his hole, then it rested briefly over his hole, before he felt the soft press, the gradual increase of pressure, as Neil let his finger push inwards. He felt the muscles around his hole, felt them tighten, then suddenly he felt the finger sliding into him. He moaned, and shook a bit, as Neil continued to slowly push his finger in, until Jeremy could feel the press of Neil’s hands between his cheeks.
He sighed, as the finger began to pump him, to go in and out, then twist around. His body continued to squirm, as Neil added a second finger to the first, stretching his insides a bit more. It felt snug, felt full, as he moaned a bit, as the fingers moved in and out. They didn’t go fast, but in a steady in and out motion, that made him quiver a bit more.
His chest began to heave, as the fingers worked deep into his body, then out, then in. They moved from side to side, making him moan his pleasure as he felt the steady motion. Then it was suddenly over, as he felt Neil pressing up against his legs. He felt the hot breath across his face, and opened his eyes to see his face looming over his chest.
The way his short hair looked so damp, as if he had been in the river. How the eyes had a strange glint he had never seen before, that made him catch his own breath. How adorable he looked, really. The way his jaw was held so tight, the thin lines around it more pronounced. His nostrils were flaring as Jeremy felt Neil’s cock sliding between his upraised buttocks.
It felt so hot, like a hot poker. He groaned as the huge cock was suddenly being pressed up into his hole. Jeremy could feel the muscles protesting, feel his nerves tingling, as Neil glanced down at Jeremy. How his eyes took on a totally different look, almost feverish. The way his cheeks were pulled inwards, as his small bony chest heaved with the effort.
Then he felt the pain, the sharp jabbing jolt that seemed to suddenly race up and down his spine. God how it hurt, yet didn’t. It was all through his body, making his legs quiver, making his arms tighten their grip on his legs. How his own body suddenly became tense, wired with nervous energy.
The pain in his rectum made him groan loudly, made him bite his lower lip as Neil’s dick pressed inwards, the head stretching him so much, he was certain his tiny little pink hole would be ripped apart, that it would need stitches or something to be put back together. He cried out, as tears welled up at the corners of his eyes, as the hard cock continued to press inwards.
He heard Neil grunt, heard his breath come rushing past, as a giant wave of pain came rushing into his body. He cried out louder, his body coiled tightly, as the cock head made its way past his tiny hole. He could feel it, feel the sudden tightening of it around the shaft, as Neil pressed inwards, driving his cock into Jeremy.
Slowly he felt his whole insides being filled, as the cock seemed endless. His body shook, his legs quivered, but he didn’t want it to stop. The pain was harsh, more than he had ever experienced, yet as he squirmed, he couldn’t help but feel the pleasure too. The way his body shuddered as sweat dropped from Neil’s looming body onto Jeremy. It all made him feel it even more, as his eyes closed, as he let the moment take hold of him.
He had no idea how long it was, nor did he care. Each hard thrust into his body made him jump, made his body try to burrow into the soft ground beneath him. His legs ached, his arms were numb, as Neil seemed to be pounding him faster and faster. Each crushing blow, driving that thick long pole deeper and deeper.
Jeremy swore he could feel the pulsing vein under the shaft, as it dug deep into him. He could feel the head banging up against his insides, feel it reaching for his throat even, as he tossed his head from side to side, enjoying the pain that was now pure joy. How good it felt, as the hard pole continued to drive in and out of his body.
How good it all felt, as he heard his own cries mingle with Neil’s. There was a strange thundering echo in his ears, which he knew had to be the wild beat of his heart, but there were other sounds too. The sounds of the river lapping onto the shore, the sound of the warm wind blowing through the trees above. There were the sounds of Neil’s labored breathing, of his own.
They all joined together in one single chorus of noise, that echoed in his ears, that penetrated his mind, as the hard dick kept thrusting into his body. His whole body was shaking, and then he felt his cock being grabbed, felt the hand circle it and began to pump it, to stroke it.
Opening his eyes, he saw the wild look in Neil’s face. How he was staring at Jeremy’s cock, as he rocked in and out, as his whole body shook. His hand moved as fast as his hips did, in time with the deep thrusts of his cock. Jeremy couldn’t believe the image, of how the hand was nothing but a blur, as his legs kept bucking. How the pleasure he was feeling inside, kept on growing, with each hard thrust.
His chest ached, his mind was in a fog, as his eyes opened wider, as the hand stroked his dick, as the cock inside pressed up into his body. Jeremy felt it coming, could feel how his balls were so full that he though they would burst. How hard they hurt as he heard the slapping sounds of Neil’s bony groin slamming into him.
It was totally unreal, as their hot flesh met each other. How it felt like he was melting, as if his skin was becoming a pool of molten liquid. The way his whole body shook, as if in the middle of a giant earthquake. How the skin shook, from the wild force of Neil’s crashing blows into him.
He cried out, as the pain in his groin matched that in his rectum. His balls seemed like giant balloons, as they were crushed by Neil’s inwards thrusts. Then suddenly he felt it, crying out as he did. The rush of release was fantastic. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, as the hot cream left his balls, his cock shaft suddenly becoming even thicker. The blood was suddenly rushing from everywhere, to his dick. His eyes fluttered, the sudden sharp explosion of lights across them made him suddenly arch his whole body up, just as Neil crashed down into it.
The hand around his cock grew even tighter, as the head reared back, then shot forward. Jeremy felt the hot splash across his chin, then across his neck and down on his upper chest. He felt his mouth open, felt himself screaming, but heard nothing but a roaring crashing sound of thunder. His body shook, as if every single muscle had suddenly uncoiled, has sprung.
Just as he thought it was all over, he heard a distant cry, a distant scream. The fullness inside was suddenly gone, and as he felt his chest heave, he felt more splashes of hot liquid across his belly. He felt the muscles inside rumble, felt the nerves scream as the hot liquid burned his flesh. His whole body was once more convulsing, as the streams of hot cream splashed across his rolling stomach.
As the shaking slowly subsided, he managed to open his eyes, to see a blurred shape above him, slowly fall forward. He felt the weight on his whole body, felt the cooling liquid become squished between the falling body, and his own, felt the sudden beat of another drum near his heart. His eyes flickered, as the stars shone above the damp head that was resting on his own heaving chest.
Looking out at the growing light, Jeremy wished he was back at the river, that Neil hadn’t gone back home. Maybe he could phone him, or something. He would know what to say, how to make him forget these last five weeks, as he remembered how good it had felt, to have his naked body on top of his. How good it had felt, as his softened cock finally was eased out from his own body.
Turning away from the window, he glanced around at the darkened bus. Everyone was in various positions of rest. Some had their mouths open, a few were even snoring as he looked at his classmates. They simply didn’t get it, and he doubted if any ever would. Neil had gotten it, and so what if they teased him. He would always have that, which most of them never would.
He sighed, as his eyes met those of his ex friend, Roger. Jeremy could see how he wasn’t asleep, how he was staring at him. Unlike the other times, he didn’t lower his eyes, nor did he turn away, he stared back at Roger, daring him to make a comment.
Strange, but somehow thinking of Neil, remembering how it had felt, he didn’t fear Roger or the others anymore. He felt different, as if he had something they just never would. Let Roger stare, let the others stare or make their comments. He was who he was, and if they didn’t like it, tough shit. Neil had liked it, and he was certain others would too. The Roger’s of the world suddenly, no longer mattered to him, or scared him.
Jeremy watched as Roger turned his eyes away, almost as if he had read Jeremy’s mind, and Jeremy turned back to look out the window. It felt good, as he watched the sun beginning to rise up on the horizon. He no longer felt ashamed or afraid.