‘Aren’t you the smart one, then.’
‘No, if I was, I’d have figured it out.’
‘How the fuck do I know? Look, I don’t get it, why did you have to tell me, why couldn’t you just keep it to yourself?
Josh stared up at Bradley, saw the hurt in his face, along with the growing anger. It was a question he had been asking himself, without any success of having an answer.
‘I dunno, figured we were friends.’
‘I guess, I dunno, just thought friends shouldn’t have secrets.’
Bradley just glared at him, his face constricted, the thin lips made even thinner by how he was staring, at how his muscles looked so tight. The eyes were narrow slits, no sparkle in them that Josh had admired so much. The way his body was being held, made him cringe a bit, his back leaning as far as it could into the trunk of the tree.
He couldn’t explain it, but then, he never could. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, figuring that somewhere out there, was a friend who would understand, who would accept him for who he was, not what he was.
‘That’s crazy, no such thing as having no secrets.’
‘Well if you know, why the fuck did you tell me? You think maybe I am the same as you, some sicko?’
Josh was tired, drained, by the way Bradley said it, made his blood boil. He felt like he had enough of the whole thing, wishing that Bradley would just shut up and leave. This was his spot, he didn’t invite him here.
‘I am not some sicko, as you call it.’
‘Yeah? Well what would you call drooling over other guys, wanting to suck their dicks, and God knows what else.’
Josh stood up. He brushed some of the dirt off his pants, and looked at Bradley. There was no mistaking how he stood, his hands to his side, the fists clenched. It was like Bradley expected he had gotten up to fight him or something.
‘So? It’s okay for some chick to suck a dick, but not another guy? Okay for guys to fuck a chick up the ass, but not another guy? Why? Tell, why is it wrong?’
‘Why? Fuck, because it is another guy, that’s why.’
‘That makes no sense, and you know it.’
‘Because that’s just how it is, it’s the way God set things up’
‘Oh, right, since when did you become so religious.’
‘Hey I believe in God, so I don’t go to church or whatever, doesn’t mean I am some pervert, or sicko like you.’
Josh could almost feel his hatred, as he spoke to him. The way his eyes never grew, but seemed to be just tiny slits, focusing all the hatred to strike at him. It was real, there was no mistaking that, and yet, he still liked him. Odd, how he could still feel something for him, when all he could do was stand there, telling him how sick he was, because he was Gay.
‘And because I like guys, you think I don’t believe in God? Man you are the one who is sick, not me.’
He knew he was never going to win this argument with Bradley, and that was that. Josh felt his body sag, felt his heart sigh as the realization of the futility of his life, came through, making him shudder.
‘Why did you come here? You made it clear how you felt, so what, you here to call me more names, what?’
They stood there, staring at each other. Josh couldn’t help but notice how Bradley stared, the eyes narrowed and angry. His face look pinched, as if he was in pain. That was how angry he looked, and frankly, Josh never could understand why. Okay, so they didn’t like gays, he didn’t like lots of things, but it never got his blood boiling, like it seemed to do with guys like Bradley.
‘to make sure’
‘make sure? Make sure of what? That I am gay?’
‘No, that you made clear, I want to make sure you know I am not that way, that I don’t want you to think of me, in that way. Fuck, it makes me sick to just think about it.’
‘Then don’t fucking think about it, besides, I never said I thought of you that way, so don’t go flattering yourself.’
‘Bullshit, I ain’t blind nor stupid.’
‘So you keep saying, but you sure as fuck are showing just how lame you really are, and I was wrong, thinking you were a nice guy.’
Bradley took a step closer, his hands balled up, his body rigid with anger, as he glared at Josh. For a moment or two, Josh felt like he had gone too far, but he no longer cared. It didn’t matter what Bradley did, or didn’t do to him. He had been beaten up before, been yelled at, spit at, and he couldn’t care less anymore. It was nothing new.
‘You are asking for a shit load of trouble, I mean it.’
‘Christ, won’t be the first time some redneck beat me up, so do your worst, but this time, I won’t just let it happen. I have had enough of your kind Bradley, I am not going to just roll over and let you beat me, so go for it, show me how fucking tough you are.’
‘You are crazy’
‘No, just fucking tired of the bullshit, so come on, do it and stop the yapping. You know how much you want to prove what a big man you are. So do it, I am not gonna run away, but I am not gonna just take it either, so come on, get it over with.’
Bradley glared even more. His entire body seemed like it would explode, as Josh watched the hatred growing. It was almost like he could reach out and touch it, and yet at the same time, he felt so dejected. He never understood the reasoning behind wanting to beat up someone, because you didn’t like them.
He wasn’t brave, but he was tired. He knew that standing up this way was just asking for a worse beating, than if he’d kept his mouth shut, but fuck it, he had thought Bradley was different. He had fucked up thinking that, but he wasn’t going to run. Not this time, not anymore.
‘Christ, you one of those queers into pain or something?’
‘Then why, you fucking know I can whip your ass.’
‘So, do it.’
The hands fell down a bit, the fists seemed to relax as Bradley stared. Josh wasn’t sure what was going through his ex-friend’s mind, but something was changing. He didn’t know what, but he wasn’t about to back down. He had made up his mind, which for him, was something. There was no explaining his mood, as he stared back, acting unafraid despite the queasy feeling in his gut.
‘You ain’t worth it’ Bradley said, then turned and walked away. His back said more to Josh, than anything. As he watched the young man walk further away, he felt his body shaking, as the ordeal seemed to be over. It was odd, but he felt a bit sad, disappointed even. Maybe he was some sort of closeted pain nut, or maybe he had wanted the confrontation?
He stepped back, as the last of Bradley disappeared among the far off trees. Josh could still hear his footsteps, wishing he could call him back, could explain how he felt about guys, so that Bradley would understand. It wasn’t a choice, it was how he was, it was who he was. Why couldn’t people get that? It was no different than how they liked woman, it just was that way, so why couldn’t they accept how he felt about another guy?
Josh felt the tree behind him, felt himself slowly sink down to the cold earth. Fallen leaves rustled, as he tried to figure out the meaning of life, which is why he never heard the added rustling from behind. He just sat there, wondering why life was so complicated for him, why so many simply hated him, without even knowing him. Fuck, even those who did, suddenly hated him when they found it, and it made no sense to him.
‘Hey Chris, the fag is here, after all.’
The voice had a nasty ring to it, and despite the surprise of hearing it, he felt the chill racing up and down his spine. He knew that voice, knew who Chris was too, which only made him quiver a bit more, inside. He tried to push himself up to his feet, but Jack’s foot was suddenly resting against his chest, keeping him down.
‘What the fuck do you want?’
‘Chris wants to talk to you, you got any objections?’
Josh felt a bit hesitant. Why would Chris want to talk to him? The guy was a real jerk, the son of the apartment manager, and a real asshole, or at least that was his impression of him. He and Jack were always hanging out together, and always seemed to have a beer in one hand, a cigarette dangling from their lips. Worse, they were always telling sick jokes about gays and African Americans. It was obvious they didn’t like either, which only made him more nervous.
Chris’s dad never seemed to care either, almost as if he believed in the sick crap Chris would spew, with Jack nodding his agreement. Chris never seemed to have anything good to say about blacks, Arabs, Jews, or gays. Hell everything he said was always said with a sneer, a scowl on his face, which made him look menacing. Josh didn’t know what Chris wanted with him, but he doubted it would be pleasant.
He couldn’t figure out how he knew he was gay either. Unless Bradley has told them, which might explain why Bradley left. Why beat him up, if he knew Chris & Jack would do it for him. Keep him out of trouble, while still getting even. Christ, what had he gotten himself into, as he once more tried to get up, but was pushed back by Jack’s foot.
‘Aren’t you the anxious one, now fucking stay down, or else.’
There was no mistaking the threat, or what ‘or else’ meant. He felt the fear in his throat, as the bile kept coming up, threatening to make him retch.
The noise of another person coming closer made them both turn their faces towards the close by thicket of brushes. He saw the branches part, and there stood Chris.
At times, he thought Chris would be cute, if he would just stop scowling so much. That would be a miracle, as he saw him approach, that evil sneer plastered across his thin pale lips. God, how nasty he looked, dressed in a dark olive green parka, olive green work pants, tucked into the tops of black work boots. Josh felt frightened, by the way Chris pushed the last branches aside, and stared down at him. That grin only added to his fear.
‘Well, well, look at what we have, our own little prissy boy. Nice work Jack, and he’s already down in the muck. How fitting.’
‘What do you want Chris?’
Josh didn’t know how he found his voice, but he had. His eyes had looked around, knowing that he didn’t stand a chance of getting away, least not without a fight. Somehow that seemed to calm him down, as he tried to think, to figure out a way to maybe surprise the two, so he could run off. Problem was, Chris and Jack were blocking the only way out. To go the other way, would mean going further into the woods, which wasn’t such a smart move, not with those two on his heels.
He waited, not sure what was going to happen, though he was fairly certain it involved him being hurt. Damn, how the fuck could Bradley have done this to him? There was no doubt in his mind, that these two were here, thanks to Bradley.
‘Shut up faggot, you speak when I say.’
‘Yeah shut up, or else’ Jack echoed, grinning like he was hoping for Josh to answer back. He almost did, but bit his lower lip, still thinking of how he could maybe take off, go into the woods, then try and circle back, while they kept chasing him deeper into the woods.
‘I don’t like faggots, they are so creepy, don’t you think so Jack?’
‘Fuck yeah, they are creepy, always staring at guy’s crotches, hoping for a look see, maybe they are jealous, what cha think Chris, think they are jealous of our dicks, of how we know how to really use them?’
‘Nah, they just want to have our dicks, it’s part of their weirdness, they just like cock, don’t you faggot?’
He stared at Chris, not sure what to say, wondering if he could just push up, get Jack off balance, then take off away, he might be able to circle around, get back to town. But then what, they knew where he lived.
The pain was sudden, as he felt the kick in his guts, and his eyes glazed over for a second, as the pain worked its way through his whole body, making him grunt.
‘I asked you a question faggot. You like cocks, any cocks, right?’
‘Hear that Jack, just like I said, he likes cocks.’
‘Yeah, I heard, kind of gross that.’
‘Yeah, some guy liking a cock, you like my cock faggot?’
Josh stared up at Chris, saw the snarl, wondering where this was all headed. ‘No.’
‘Oh, you hear that Jack boy, he doesn’t like my cock. You prefer Jack’s dick, is that it?’
‘No, I, leave me alone Chris, I am not into you or Jack, just leave me alone.’
‘Oh, listen to that Jack, he’s not into us, how come pussy boy, we too much man for you?’
‘I, look, I just am not, okay?’
‘I don’t believe him, do you Jack?’
‘No, I think he’s lying, he’s probably aching for our dicks, that’s all his kind dream of, having a real man’s dick.’
‘Yeah, but no real man is gonna give him that, isn’t that right faggot?’
Before he could think of how to answer, he saw Chris’s foot move forward, saw the flash as it moved, and then felt it, as it hit him squarely in the thigh. He moaned, and fall over a bit, managing to put his arm out to stop him from falling completely over. Then he felt the earth against the side of his face, and the pain lancing up from his arm, as Jack had kicked it, making him finish the fall over to his side.
Another kick, from Jack, landed in his stomach, making him lean back, onto his back. He saw Chris move in closer from the other side, that evil grin looking even more menacing than before.
‘Now Jack, you know, he can’t help himself. Maybe we shouldn’t be so greedy.’
Josh heard the laugh and turned to stare up at Jack, who was close by, his foot twitching a bit, as if it wanted to strike out again. He cringed a bit, hearing the sound of a zipper being pulled down. Turning his face, he saw Chris had unzipped his pants, and had one hand inside the opening.
‘You are right Chris, look at how he’s looking at your crotch, man, he can almost taste it, I bet.’
‘Ha, yeah, but don’t you know fag, real men only pull their dicks out to fuck a nice hot pussy, or take a piss? And you ain’t got no pussy.’
He heard Jack laughing, as he saw Chris pull his dick out from under his pants. It was soft, but still looked like it could be above average in size. His mind was calculating the size, while his eyes took it all in, not sure what Chris was up to. The words didn’t register, as he saw the uncut dick staring at him. The foreskin was partially pulled back, and then he realized what Chris was doing.
The stream of amber liquid came sputtering out at first, then turned into a steady stream of liquid, that struck him on the chest. He could smell it too, the smell of urine, as Chris moved the cock a bit, the piss now striking him in the face.
He felt the sting, felt the heat too, as the hot piss splashed across his face, and his eyes. It burned a bit too, as Chris began laughing, joined by Jack’s hideous squeal of joy too.
‘Come on Jack, give the fag your piss, looks like he enjoys piss.’
He tried to turn his face, but the quick kick of Jack’s boot into his side, made him stop. It also made him groan, and as he let out the sound of his pain, he felt the bitter salty taste of urine, make its way in. He gagged on the taste as Chris only began to laugh even louder.
‘He likes it Chris’
‘Looks that way.’
The stream of hot piss began to stop striking his face, as he coughed, gagging on what had managed to trickle into his mouth. He felt his stomach turning, as he reached up, to wipe off his face, with the back of his arm.
He felt another kick, in his other side, and he turned his face, to see Chris glaring at him. His eyes were dark, filled with hate, worse than anything he had seen in Bradley’s face, just a few minutes earlier.
‘You ain’t done fag.’
‘Jack, you stand over the queer, and you listen up Josh boy, Jack here, he’s gonna give you more of what you want.’
‘I don’t…’ another kick landed, making him gasp for air.
‘Shut up and listen. You open your mouth, take Jack’s piss, and maybe, we won’t beat the crap out of you, maybe we will have had our fun, for now, got it?’
‘I got it’
‘Good, now open your mouth.’
He did as he was told, opening his mouth, then wider, at Chris’ urgings. Josh could smell Jack, feel his body hovering over his crotch, then he heard the zipper go down, knowing Jack was reaching inside, and at what was to come. He closed his eyes, and his fists grabbed a handful of leaves & dirt, as the first of Jack’s hot piss struck his mouth.
‘Wider faggot, don’t want you to miss a drop’
He obeyed, as the hot liquid filled his mouth, burning his lips, and making him gag.
‘Swallow it you fucking pansy’
Josh did as he was told, gagging and nearly retching, but he did as he was told, hoping that they would leave him alone after, hoping that Jack had taken a piss earlier, and would be soon done. The taste was salty, worse than what he had tasted from Chris, but he continued to swallow, afraid not to, afraid to.
His stomach was doing flip flops, as the liquid dribbled out of the corners of his mouth, as he kept swallowing, tasting the salty fluid. His eyes were watering, as Jack seemed to have an endless supply of piss, most entering his open mouth, though some managed to catch him in the eyes.
He could feel the bile, feel his stomach rearing up, and before he could even try to hold it back, he felt his face lurch forward, his guts emptying. His puke came rocketing outwards, catching Jack by surprise, with most of his vomit flowing across his outstretch body, but nailing Jack’s pant legs.
The outrage was unreal. The screeching voice, shouting damn, nearly made him go deaf from its high pitched roar. His body bucked, as he once more heaved the contents of his stomach outwards. The sweet smell of vomit, only adding to his discomfort, as well as signalling a continuation of his puking.
The laughter made him wince, even as his stomach continued to twist and turn. He felt like he was in a washing machine, at how his whole body seemed to be swirling around. He felt dizzy, as Chris’s voice cut Jack’s whining voice off.
‘He doesn’t like your piss Jack.’
‘Seems so Chris, ain’t that a shame, for him.’
‘Yeah, but hell, we should have known, fags are fags, they just can’t handle anything from a real man, including our piss.’
‘Well we did try, gave him a chance to not get the crap beaten out of him.’
‘Yep, more than he deserved.’
‘That’s so true, well Fag, time for you to pay the price for wasting our time.’
Josh felt the kick, from Jack, and tried to pull away, which only seemed to make them both laugh even harder. Another quick kick to his leg, made him cry out, pushing himself backwards, trying to get to his feet, but failing.
Again the pain came, this time followed quickly by a second jolt, as first Jack kicked out at him, then Chris. He cried out, still trying to get away, still only succeeding in making the two laugh louder, and harder.
Just as he tried to gird himself for the next round of blows, he heard the voice, realizing that someone else had suddenly joined their little party. He felt his lungs ache, sucking in air, as the kicks didn’t come. Instead he could sense the two had turned around, to face the voice, caught off guard by its sudden appearance.
Josh tried to open his eyes, to see who had shown up, as the voice had sounded like it was coming out of some fog. The words were not recognizable, as he wondered if another of Chris’s gang had shown up, to join in the party.
To be continued…
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By Ian Kovnats ()
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