Plain Brown Wrapper

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (1)

Barney wheeled his mail truck into the spot at the top of the block, just as he had for the last ten or so years. Every morning, his Government Mail delivery truck would pull in, even when the snow had been falling all night long. He was proud, that he had missed a total of 3 days during his tenure as a mailman.

Not like some of the new kids these days. He grimaced a bit, making his fat face wrinkle a bit, his eyes glow a bit menacing, as he thought about how things had changed, yet hadn’t.

He was about to have his forty first birthday next month, and celebrate nearly 20 years in the Postal Service a few months later, and he still loved his job. Not like the new kids, who only thought about perks, about getting the routes done so they could down a few extra beers. Not that he objected to having a few brews himself. Barney just didn’t think he had to rush, or cut corners. A bit old fashioned perhaps, but then he was nearly forty one.

Now some wouldn’t think he was a mailman, as he had a bit of a paunch, and his hair was a bit shaggy too, not your typical civil servant look. If he thought about it, he wasn’t in bad physical shape, just not one of those sculpted bodies, or bulging six packs or flat tummies. Besides, he liked to have his fun, his beer and those yummy greasy cheeseburgers down at May’s Diner.

Then there were the treats from his customers. He knew virtually every single one on the routes he did. Least his regular routes. There was old lady Gray, who always had a hot cup of cocoa for him on the rainy or snowy days. Then there was Mrs Cleary, she was always baking stuff, and had an extra piece for him. No wonder he had a bit of a paunch. It was also what the new kids missed out on. That and the Christmas gifts.

Hefting his mailbag over his shoulder, he realized that there were maybe a dozen or so on his route who never gave him a card, or even did more than nod at him. Yet that wasn’t bad, considering his regular routes totalled about 300 or so homes. Let some of those new kids match that one, he thought as he started his trek to deliver the morning’s mail.

There was old man Singleton, already out working in his garden, getting it ready for the hot summer months. He was a real garden nut, and read a lot too, and not just gardening magazines. Was kind of funny to see what some people read, and then when you looked at them, you’d never figure them for having that kind of interest.

In so many ways, it was like they were all part of some weird extended family. When the Mullins had that problem with baby Jessica, he would always spend time just talking about the weather, to keep Mrs Mullins from thinking of it all. Even when Mister Jakes had suddenly passed away, he had attended the funeral, and had been surprised at how many on his route were there too.

It was like that. Just as how each morning he enjoyed his regular visitors, like Christopher who was heading off to College this fall. Eighteen already, and Barney had watched him grow up from a gawky kid of eight to a rather handsome young man. He smiled because Christopher was always outside, waiting for him.

Barney had watched him grow up, had enjoyed their morning chats about all sorts of things. Christopher had quite an inquisitive mind, talking about the stars, about life, and even about God. It was like he was starved for different thoughts on a whole range of subjects, from what made a great burger, to the latest hit song being played.

Though lately, Christopher; Chris to his friends, which Barney was, had been rather quiet. His face didn’t light up as it used to, and he seemed rather sullen. He wanted to ask him, but so far hadn’t. It bothered him, because to Barney, these were his family. Not like he had one of his own, but he kept telling himself that he wasn’t the ‘family type’ or something like that.

Some of the guys at the sorting house looked at him weird for it, but screw them. It wasn’t like they were the best walking advertisement for marriage or having a family. Man how some of them boasted about their side affairs, or how they got thrilled catching a beauty answering the door in their see through night dress. And these were so called happily married men?

That was part of his problem, but not all of it. He simply didn’t find himself attracted to women, and he had long since lost his virginity but sex was never something that was a huge mission. Oh sure, back in the day he screwed around like any other kid. At college he went on many a panty raid with his dorm buddies. He had his share of one night stands as well, some of them not what most might expect.

College had been an experience. It had been where he had his first guy to guy sex, where he had his first scare too, that he might have gotten a girl pregnant. It was college, but since, well he just enjoyed delivering the mail, talking with the people on the route, sharing their lives. It made him happy, so what if every night wasn’t filled with mindless sex, or having to deal with kids running around under foot? Least he didn’t have to worry about college tuition like the Jansen’s were for Chris.

Maybe that is what had him so down in the dumps? Could be that his folks were finding it tough to scratch up the college fees? It would be a shame, because if anyone needed to go to college, to experience it, it was Chris. He really needed to get out, to meet new people from new cultures, and experience life in a whole different way.

Turning the corner, to head down the block he was surprised to suddenly see Chris waiting by the mailbox. It was where he collected the mail for this part of the route, not where he normally would find Chris. As he quickened his step, he noticed that Chris was just leaning against the box, his face looking down.

Stopping for a minute, he felt a sort of apprehension, as if something terrible was about to happen, yet he didn’t know what it could be. It bothered Barney as he shifted the mailbag on his shoulder, and called out, waving his free hand.

Chris looked up and stared for a minute, almost as if he didn’t recognize Barney, then gave a half hearted wave, as he just stood there, waiting. It made Barney shiver a bit, as he had never seen Chris looking so down before. This was a kid who always was smiling, always had a grin plastered over his face. Even that time when he had first begun to learn how to ride a two wheeler.

His skinny little knee was oozing blood, and the bike had been laying on the grass, the front a bit twisted, from having hit something. Yet Chris wasn’t crying, just smiling as he looked at his bloody knee. Nothing really seemed to phase him, until now.

‘Hey Sport, you get lost?’

Chris gave him a sort of weak grin, and then just looked down at his feet, mumbling a greeting. He was kicking at the dirt around the box, and off to one side, Barney noted he had his backpack, and another bag. It didn’t look right, as both seemed overly stuffed.

Dropping his own bag to the ground, Barney took his keys out, to open up the box, to find the bundled letters and smaller packets for the next stage of his route. He could see a sort of puffiness around Chris’s eyes, as if he had been crying. That was strange, because in all his time knowing the younger man, he had never seen him cry.

‘You look like the world just ended Sport, what’s up?’

‘Nothing’

‘Yeah right, come on Chris, what’s up? The way you got those bags stuffed, almost makes it look like you running away from home.’

He had said in jest, trying to lighten the mood, to get Chris to open up. There was no mistaking that something was bothering him, and Barney believed that talking about things, helped. He stood there, looking until Chris finally raised his face and looked at Barney.

‘Guess you could say that’s true.’

‘Whoa there, what are you talking about Chris? College isn’t until the fall, this is just the beginning of July.’

‘Yeah, well no college in the fall, nothing. I just, I just wanted to say goodbye, see if there was anything for me, one last time.’

Barney couldn’t help but feel a small pang in his heart. The way Chris was talking, how low and dejected sounding his voice was. It wasn’t Chris, that was for sure. He always was so full of life, so happy go lucky, that Barney had come to look forward to meeting him on the route. Hell, he had been feeling sad himself, thinking of Chris being off at College. It was the part of his job that hurt, when the kids moved on, or the regulars moved away or just, well died. He missed them all, but none as much as he would when Chris left.

Now he was leaving early, but not to college? Barney could see how hurt Chris looked, how vulnerable he was looking. Chris wasn’t what you would call an Adonis or anything, but he had nice features. Was on the lean side too, but then he was always outside, always running even if it was to Kwon’s corner store, just down the block from his home.

‘Uh, I’ll check, uh, you want to talk about it?’

He felt his heart skip a beat, as Chris looked up at him. How his eyes were brimming with tears, as he stared up at him, looking past him in one way, right through him in another sense. It was like he did want to, but something was holding him back.

‘Thanks, but I uh, I don’t know Barney, it is just so hard, and well, I don’t want you to hate me.’

‘Hate you? Come on Sport, how can I hate my favourite buddy on the whole blasted route? You know you can tell me anything.’

‘Not this, I can’t.’

As he rummaged through the bundles he wondered, what it was that had Chris so certain that he wouldn’t understand? Did he get some girl pregnant? But then, no it couldn’t be that, as after all he was the one who delivered all those brown wrapped magazines each month, and while they were addressed to just a ‘Mr Jansen’, he knew they were for Chris.

It didn’t matter to him, never really thought about it, as he found that there was one of those magazines in the bundle. That had to be it, somehow Chris’ secret had come out, one he had known for a long time. But why did Chris not trust him, or think he wouldn’t understand?

Turning around, with the magazine in hand, he saw how Chris was looking at it. Christ, what a mess it must be, to feel so alone, so cut off from people. He had his own past, and okay, so he never broadcast it, nor did he even go out of his way to find it, he couldn’t help but feel closer to Chris.

Heck the first time when the brown wrapped magazines started showing up, he had an idea they weren’t playboy type magazines. Then he got used to seeing the names of who they were from, and he knew that they weren’t naked women in the centerfolds.

‘Here, just your AllBoy today.’

Chris had been just reaching out for it, when his hand stopped, his head snapped back to stare up into Barney’s face. The eyes were wide open, in terror, as his whole body began to tremble. The arm was shaking, and his fingers were twitching as he realized that Barney knew. You could see it in his face, as he stood there, uncertain what to do.

‘Look Sport, it’s no big deal to me, so tell me, what happened? Your folks find out or something?’

‘yes.’

‘They kick you out?’

‘yes’

‘That’s rough, you got anywhere to go? Friends, boyfriend maybe?’

Chris just stared at Barney. There were tears beginning to roll down his face, as he shook his head in the negative, afraid to even speak. His lower lip was trembling, and Barney felt like he just wanted to reach out and gather the trembling young man into his arms.

Barney had seen a lot of cruel things in his time. How that Mr. Withers had beat his wife, while she kept refusing to press charges, or how poor little Monica had made her way everyday to school, on braces because of some bone disease. He had seen it all, but never parents turning their back on their kids. That was just something he read about, saw on television but never experienced.

Looking at Chris, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for him, outraged too, but there wasn’t much he could do. It wasn’t his place to go crusading and knocking on their door. Maybe in time, they’d come around, but then what? Would they even be able to find Chris? And what about him, where was he going to go? The streets were no place for a sheltered kid like him.

‘You sure there is no one you can go to? Even for a few days?’

‘No, no one.’

‘Grandparents?’

‘No, when I left, my Mother, she was already calling everyone, to warn them. No, there is no one.’

‘Not even a school friend?’

‘Yeah, like they’d let me crash. No, it’s okay, I got the addresses of a few shelters, that should do for now.’

It just didn’t seem right. Barney felt like he was in a daze, and yet inside, he knew what would happen. Sure, the shelter might do for tonight, then again, it would lead to a lot more. As sensible as Chris was, he was still just eighteen, and not really street smart. He was the perfect target for some of the scum out there, and Barney knew he couldn’t let him get swallowed up that way. He liked him, only now realizing how much he did care.

‘Look, you got any money?’

‘Huh? Yeah about a hundred bucks.’

‘On you?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Won’t last if you go to a shelter, what about a bank account, you got one?’

‘Yeah.’

He almost smiled at how Chris had acknowledged he had a bank account. One thing about Chris, he did like to show his independence. Yet as he answered, Barney could see his mind whirling, realizing how fragile things were going to be for him. There was no mistaking the fear in Chris’ eyes.

‘Look, I gotta get the route done, tell you what Sport, grab your stuff, and meet me at the truck, you know where I park it.’

‘Yeah, but Barney, I’ll be okay, really.’

‘You are a smart kid Chris, but not when it comes to being on your own, look, just meet me at the truck, we can go grab a burger or something, talk a bit, maybe figure out something a bit better than going to a shelter.’

‘Okay, I guess, you sure Barney? I don’t uh, I can manage.’

‘Course you can, don’t doubt that for a second, but hey, friends can help make it a bit easier, if you let them. Talking it out won’t hurt, and besides, I can give you a lift to town, if that’s what you decide.’

‘I don’t know Barney, seems like a lot of bother for you.’

‘We are friends, aren’t we Sport?’

‘Well sure we are, I mean…’

‘So its no bother, okay? You just hump those bags to the truck, I’ll be about an hour or so, okay?’

‘If you say, yeah, okay, thanks Barney’

He just smiled as he lifted his mailbag up and over his shoulder. Giving Chris a small pat on the shoulder, he could feel him shaking, still trembling but he could tell, he was feeling a bit relieved. Funny thing, he thought, about how sharing a problem made it seem less of a burden, less ominous.

Walking away, he turned to see Chris picking up his bag and pack, and moving off in the general direction of where he had parked the mail truck. He felt strange, a bit sad, and yet also a strange sense of pleasure. Maybe it was because he wasn’t walking away from a friend in need, or maybe it was something more? He wasn’t too sure, but he felt this need to hurry along.

His hefty mailbag didn’t feel so heavy as he made his rounds, still taking the time to chat to the people he met, still taking the time to exchange banalities and pleasantries. Yet at the same time, he felt a growing excitement, which didn’t quite make sense.

Barney couldn’t help but think of how scared Chris must be feeling, at how lonely had to feel. In all honesty, the few times he had crossed over, in his own college years, he had felt nervous too, scared even. Yet it hadn’t seemed a big deal 20 years ago, as it was today. That didn’t make much sense, but he understood it.

He never thought of himself that way either, and yet while he liked sex, it wasn’t something he went out of his way to have. That alone made him different, he guessed, as he continued to deliver the mail. Could be that for him, he enjoyed other interests, even as a kid he never really had been the hormone crazed teenager that his friends were.

Could he be one of those sexless types? The ones who simply didn’t do it, for some lack of interest? After all, he was about to be 41 years old, and to be honest, his sexual activity was more like some ninety year old. Now that wasn’t exactly natural, but then too, supposedly it was related to his being Diabetic.

Maybe if he had a partner, someone who he had gotten close to, or was close to, it would be different? He wasn’t sure, but as that didn’t exist, well, he had his extended family to worry about. That did give him pleasure, like when he had found that seed packet for Mr. Singleton. How happy he had been, and how it had made him happy to see. Those were what was important, not how often you got off with someone.

Okay, he did enjoy jerking off too, but it wasn’t like he did that every single night. And he didn’t have what you would call a porn collection either. Sure he had a few DVDs, mostly straight stuff, but he did have a couple from that European studio, Bel Ami. Magazines weren’t his thing either, but there were maybe a dozen or so kicking around from the years.

AllBoy was one, which he had a couple of, which is also how he knew what was in those plain brown wrappers he delivered to Chris. That gave him a bit of a pause, thinking that the poor kid, having to hide his sexuality, yet needing to have some form of contact with what he liked. It had to be tough, but it also maybe explained why he was always outside, with his backpack. He was waiting for the magazines, and making sure no one at home could find them. Crafty little guy, but then he always knew Chris was smart. Still, what could he do for him? He just couldn’t let him go to a shelter, and even if he did find him a place, or such, what about tomorrow, and the next and the next?

As his boots hit the ground, taking another step along the well worn path of his route, he knew he just couldn’t abandon Chris. It wasn’t that he had any reason to be so interested in him, just that, he felt like he had to. No one else seemed willing, or available to help, and well, he owed Chris. He had made his route enjoyable, in ways the other’s hadn’t.

He liked seeing his fresh face, seeing those laughing eyes each morning. It was something to watch him growing up, right in front of him. That alone was worth something, given how empty his own life was. First time he admitted that, as he plodded along the walk, towards the next house.

There was something about Chris, even as a kid, that had made him feel, well protective of him. It wasn’t anything sexual, that he was certain of, but it was something close to that. Almost like he was the Father, instead of Mr. Jansen. Though the few times he had met Chris’ dad, he hadn’t been impressed with him. He was too rigid, to unbending and the way he always walked towards the car, as if he had a two by four up his ass. It had always made him feel nervous, watching him leave for his work, not to mention glad that he didn’t have him as a supervisor.

There was just something nasty about him, something icky, as the kids might say. Still, he was Chris’ dad and that also surprised him. How full of life Chris was, compared to the dour expression his father always wore on his face. His mother wasn’t much better, a rather plain looking woman who was always wringing her hands, as if agitated. She wasn’t exactly what you would call sociable either.

Thinking about her, he wondered how she and her husband could have raised such a happy go lucky kid as Christopher. Then too, he also realized that he had never seen her fussed, or mussed. Every time she came out, to gather the mail from Chris, her hair was done, her clothes looking freshly pressed and cleaned. Never a spot on them, and that was odd. Not once did he recall ever seeing her in slippers, or with a hair out of place.

As he approached the end of the route, almost time to arrive at the truck, he wondered if Chris would be there. Did he stay or did he take off? In an odd sense, it mattered to him, that when he got back to the truck, that Chris would be there.

While doing the rest of the route, he had come to realize that he was fond of Chris, though he wasn’t sure in what way, other than as a friend. Least he wasn’t about to admit that he had other thoughts, or fantasies about him. He genuinely liked him, enjoyed the conversations they had, and okay, the guy was what he would call good looking. Yet, was that a sexual attraction? He didn’t think so, though it was in the back of his mind, all the time he was stuffing the mail into the boxes or handing them to the home owner.

Was he trying to seduce him, or create a situation for making a play for Chris?

That thought rather made him miss a step or two, because in all honesty, he did fancy the guy. In fact, Chris was one of the few guys that made him even think about sex. Not many women even fell into that category, least these days. At college, well that was different, or was it? Was his college preferences out of peer pressure, or because he was into girls?

The heavy thinking was making him feel his age, as he turned the corner. There was his truck across the street, looking just as he had left it. Yet his heart sank, as there was no Chris, that he could see. He felt a strange emptiness inside, feeling like he had been cheated out of something, but he didn’t know what. It didn’t make sense, as he slowly made his way across the street.

It was like a huge disappointment, that was weighing on him, as he made his way, street side, towards the back, to toss in his empty mailbag. As he rounded the back of the truck, and fumbled with his keys, he heard someone move, and from the house side, there came Chris.

Barney felt his heart kick its beat up a notch or two, as he saw that Chris had waited for him, as he said he would. He felt strangely pleased by it, as he grinned at the young man. It was as if the sun had suddenly come out from behind a dark cloud, even though Chris wasn’t looking all that much happier. Still he did look more relaxed, and as he smiled, Barney notice he still was holding the plain brown wrapped magazine.

‘Sorry it took longer than I expected.’

‘No problem, uh, you really don’t have to do this Barney, I’ll be okay.’

‘Thought we settled this Sport?’

‘Just making sure.’

‘Okay, climb in. Hungry? I know it’s a bit early yet, but how about a burger at May’s Diner?’

‘Sure, I am not all that hungry though.’

‘Well, you can have what you want, when we get there. But you haven’t had a burger, till you have enjoyed one of May’s super deluxe double bacon, double cheese, monster burgers.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I say so, come on climb in.’

As Chris climbed up into the truck, Barney couldn’t help but check him out. It wasn’t something he normally did, yet he felt a bit of a thrill doing it. Maybe he did have a sex drive, and for guys? It made him a bit nervous, wondering if maybe he was treading on thin ice. Yet he didn’t stop, as he started the truck up, looking out the side, for oncoming traffic.

‘Barney.’

‘Yeah?’

‘How did you know what was in the brown paper?’

Finding this little blond treasure at UK Naked Men was a surprise, and a thrill actually. He has that look, that just makes one think of Christopher in this story.

( Click smaller image for bigger view )

Clearing the Air

By Ian Kovnats ( Gaystoryman )

Copyright © 2008 ? All Rights Reserved

Part (4)

He felt like he had just been struck by a bus. His whole body was rock solid, as he kneeled there, staring up at Mike. How could he? It was almost too much to grasp, but his hands fell to his side, and he could see the tears rolling down Mike’s face.

‘Did I do something wrong? I mean…’

‘No, no it is just, this is all, please Jeff, not now, not here, I just can’t.’

‘Can’t? But this was, I mean… okay, I never meant it to, you know, I uh…’

As Mike pulled up his shorts, stuffing his hard dick back inside, reaching for his pants, he kept looking away, almost as if he was afraid to look at Jeff. His body was shaking, and as he zipped his pants up, he stepped back a few steps.

‘It just isn’t, not here, I am not saying I can do it, or not, just, just I need some time Jeff, to think about it. I don’t want to lose our friendship, but this; this is happening all at once, you understand, don’t you?’

He really didn’t understand, but he nodded anyways. The disappointment, the sudden pulling back by Mike made his heart quiver a bit, as Mike tightened his belt up. Jeff could still see the bulge and felt like somehow he had been cheated.

Mike was already moving away, and while he said he’d call Jeff later, it felt like he had just lost his best friend. The pain was unlike anything he had experienced before. It was one thing to figure that Mike had thought he was sick, but to let him touch him like that, to come that close, well that seemed cruel, almost heartless.

He couldn’t figure it out, because obviously Mike felt something. If he hadn’t would his dick have gotten that hard, would there have been the precum? Looking out from the clearing, he could see Mike’s distant shape moving through the field. Even from the distance, he felt his desire for him, but now it seemed tainted, as if something he had done, had ruined what they had.

Maybe he shouldn’t have come out to him? He figured he had to, but maybe it was the wrong thing to do. Still, he did get a good look, but now he felt like he had been robbed, cheated of it, because things had gotten out of hand. Sure, he was Gay, he liked dick, and okay, he did want Mike, so maybe he shouldn’t have said anything?

His mouth was always getting him into trouble, but he couldn’t lie to Mike. That just wasn’t their friendship, or maybe it was? Maybe Mike was lying to him now, that maybe he really did think Jeff was some sicko? Maybe all that dropping of the pants, was his way to prove to himself that he was right about Jeff? Could he be that mean?

Slowly he stood up, and looked around at their place. It didn’t seem to be the same anymore. He felt like he was in a strange place, that he didn’t want to stay there, but couldn’t figure out where to go. As he shuffled his feet, while looking around, he saw the tree, and felt a deep sadness.

The countless hours they had spent together, resting under that tree, talking about everything. Well almost everything as he never did try to talk to Mike about how he felt. Maybe if he had tried more, hadn’t been so scared of his reaction, today wouldn’t have turned out the way it had.

So maybe they wouldn’t be best friends, least it wouldn’t be hurting so much right now. Least he’d have had some warning, which might have made him keep his mouth shut this morning, and this afternoon. Christ, what a mess, he thought as he stared back out over the now empty field.

Walking back home, because he really didn’t have anywhere else to go, Jeff kept wondering why Mike had pulled back. Did he freak him out, when he touched his bare leg, his dick? Was it too much for him, or did he actually enjoy it?

Could that be it? Could it be Mike actually found himself enjoying his friends touch, the feelings that were being shared by the touching? Did it freak him out that he could be stiff by some Queer running their finger up and down his cock?

Was Mike maybe a closet Queer himself, and that he didn’t want to come out, least of all to Jeff? Like he had said some pretty shitty things in the morning, then there he was, about to let him suck his dick. Could that be why he pulled back, afraid that if Jeff did actually take his cock into his mouth, he’d give himself away?

It wasn’t like he really had thought Mike was Gay, least not until this particular moment. So he had stood up for some flamer awhile back, but then that had been Mike. He never liked to see guys being picked on, not even the nerds. It was part of who he was, but was it maybe more than that?

Did Mike stick up for them, because deep down he knew that he could be one of those to be picked on, if his secret was known? Christ, he wouldn’t have stopped liking him, and even if Mike had come clean, had told him, he wouldn’t tell anyone?

Shit, it wasn’t like he was going to shout it out that he got to suck Mike’s dick. That was stupid to think, but then if not that, why the fuck did Mike pull away, at the last second? Could it be wanting to get even with him for the things he had said some five years ago? Did Mike see his chance to tease him, to hurt him, when he outed himself in the morning?

Problem was he should have stopped Mike, let it rest for a bit, and not gone along so quickly. Maybe he had seemed too eager, maybe it was just a physical thing. Okay sure it was, he really did want to suck on that dick of his, but it wasn’t like he had asked first. Mike had offered, so he should have gone through with it, unless it was all a joke, a horrible, mean, joke.

Yet that wasn’t Mike. He never held a grudge before now, and he sure as fuck wasn’t the type to be cruel to others. Hell, he was the type who would walk over some insect even, not wanting to crush them. He just wasn’t that kind of guy, least not around him. So why now, why did he pull away?

Jeff had to admit to himself, that this was going to drive him crazy. He couldn’t just leave it, just wait silently until Mike decided to tell him, if he ever did. He needed to know, and as he changed direction, to head towards Mike’s place, he also realized that once more he was risking their friendship.

Fuck, what could he say to him, and what if Mike said he had made a mistake in making the offer? How the fuck would he feel then, or would that matter? He’d have his answer, but no way Mike would drop his pants just like that, if he hadn’t cared, or had some curiosity about it.

Maybe instead of running over there, he should just go him, and let it be? Instead of pushing, be satisfied that he now knew exactly what Mike looked like, hard. After all, wasn’t that part of his whole dream, wish? To see just how big his dick was, what it looked like stiff? He knew, so why push it, why push to see what it would taste like?

Christ, what would he push for once he got that? Would he want to see if he could get Mike to fuck him? After all, he did want to experience that, to experience all of Mike, so maybe Mike knew that? Could it be that Mike didn’t go through with it, because he knew Jeff would want more?

Crap, what he had started by admitting he thought of Mike sexually? It wasn’t like he was unwilling to have let things go, let them not get that far, but now that he had an opening, he was thinking of pushing the limits.

It was all too confusing for him as he once again changed his direction. Going to Mike’s now, was asking for trouble, and he had enough heartache already today. Instead, he thought he should just go home, maybe soak in the tub, and forget about it all. Mike wasn’t going to out him, least he didn’t think so.

He had done what he had wanted to do, by telling Mike about him. He had seen Mike’s dick, touched it too, so in some ways he could consider himself ahead of the game. It almost had become more, that might have satisfied his quest for being satisfied sexually, but then College lay ahead, and maybe he would find someone there.

His trouble was there just wasn’t enough opportunity here, and he was too well known. He was scared of being found out, while off at college, well who cared? It wasn’t like they would be running to tell his teachers or his other friends, because they wouldn’t know them. His parents might know about him, but not like his new college friends would run to tell them, either. So it would be safer, easier to be who he was, without the worry.

Mike knew, and if it became a problem, well again, he’d be at college, away from it. Besides, Mike might not get it, not understand it, and if he was off at college, well maybe he’d come to accept it, to not let it come between them. Sure things might be strained between them until he left for college, but he could cope. Besides he did have a good memory, and he just knew that jerking off would be a lot more fun now.

Certainly wasn’t the ideal situation, he thought, as he made his way back towards his place. It wouldn’t be easy for the last little while, but he could manage. The important thing was he had told Mike, who had freaked, but it hadn’t lasted. Least so far it hadn’t, and if he knew Mike, he’d not let it ruin the remaining time they had together, as friends.

Swimming at their spot might be out now, but then he didn’t mind. He knew what was behind those wet shorts now, so he could handle not seeing that. He had that, and it was Mike who had given it to him. Not like he had done anything secretive to find out, or devious either. He hadn’t lied to him, which had to count for something. Eventually Mike would either understand, or not. By then, well, he’d be in college and it wouldn’t hurt so much.

Jeff was nearly at his front door, before he even realized that there was someone else there. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn’t even recognize the well known shape until he was almost on top of him. Mike was there, leaning up against the small little alcove on the front porch, waiting for him.

He couldn’t help it, but he was both excited and irritated. Jeff was suddenly once more back on edge, his solution to the whole thing gone, as he stared at his long time friend. It wouldn’t be the same, not being so close. No matter what he tried to tell himself, going off to college might solve his sexual desires, but it wouldn’t be half as good, without being able to share it with Mike.

‘Didn’t expect to see you so soon.’

‘I know, uh, no one is home.’

‘Won’t be till after dinner time.’

‘Can we talk?’

‘If you want.’

‘I told you so, didn’t I?’

‘Guess, sure you want to? I mean…’

‘Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.’

Jeff stared at Mike’s face, to see if he was telling the truth. The eyes met, but Mike was having trouble looking back, something he had rarely seen with Mike. It wasn’t like him to not face him, square. Unlocking the front door, he nodded for Mike to go in, who just walked in, but then stood off to the side, waiting for Jeff to close & lock the front door.

They just stared at each other for a second, before Mike finally pushed himself upright, and walked along the corridor, towards the stairs. It was apparent to Jeff, he wanted to talk upstairs, in Jeff’s room and not in the living room. In some way, it surprised him, yet in another way it was more normal. That is where they always talked, rarely downstairs.

Following Mike up the stairs to his own room, he couldn’t help but enjoy the view of his ass. How nice they looked, how tightly they were held by his pants. Two perfect shaped orbs, but his mind kept wandering, despite the view.

Walking into his room, he noticed how Mike was checking it out, as if it was the first time he had been there. It was odd, as he stared at the his small desk, at his closet, and at his bed. It was like he was looking for something, that he hadn’t seen before.

‘Where you keep them?’

‘Keep what?’

‘The skin mags.’

‘You know where they are.’

‘Not those ones, the one’s you get off on, you do have some, don’t you?’

Jeff didn’t get why Mike wanted them, but he went to his closet and opened his backpack. He had them hidden inside, under some old gym stuff, and pulled out a few of them. Turning around he handed them to Mike, who sat down on the bed, and started to flip through them.

He looked closely as Mike stared at the naked guys in the magazines, holding up a few to take a long look at the centerfolds. Just as he did with the girl magazines, but as he watched, he couldn’t tell what was going through Mike’s mind. For some reason, Jeff felt nervous, as if there was some test going on that he was a part of, but didn’t know what part.

The only sound in the room was his heavy breathing, and Mike flipping the damn pages. He came across a few that were stuck together, but didn’t say a word, as he pried them apart, to see what the pictures were. His eyes widened a few times, but his face seemed unimpressed as he just flipped the pages.

Finally he seemed to have enough, and tossed the last one aside, with the rest. He leaned back on his hands, and looked at Jeff. He felt like he was under inspection, and felt the sweat around his forehead, making him even more nervous. He just stood there, waiting for Mike to say something, anything.

‘You think I am Gay, don’t you?’

Jeff felt like he was hit by a ten ton brick. It was the last thing that he had thought of Mike. Looking over at Mike, he knew that Mike was serious, that he was in his ‘I need to know’ mood. It was a bit intimidating, as he pulled up his desk chair, and plopped himself down in it, looking over at Mike.

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Then why? I don’t get it, those guys in the mags, they get you off?’

‘Yeah, sort of.’

‘Sort of?’

‘Look, it isn’t complicated Mike. When you see a girl’s hooters, you get excited, right?’

‘Well yeah, so?’

‘I see a nice dick, I get excited.’

‘Okay so, I don’t…’

‘Why you? I guess ‘cuz I know you, because just like you might get turned on by some nameless broad’s boobs, you think of someone you like, or want. It is the same for me.’

‘Oh, so you uh, you don’t think I am Gay but you want to be with me, uh, that way?’

‘No I don’t think you are, why, do you think you are?’

‘I didn’t, not until you started touching me, it freaked me out Jeff, I never felt that hot, not with any of the girls, least not the same way.’

‘That why you took off?’

‘Yeah, and now I don’t know. I mean those mags, they didn’t do shit for me, but back at the place, well it did. It makes me, wonder.’

He wanted to just sit next to Mike, to hold him close, because he could see he was really scared. It never occurred to him that Mike would feel that way about him, that it would make him feel as good, as it made Jeff. It was all rather odd, and he wondered, if maybe Mike could be.

Yet he had also seen how he had been after a night with his latest girl. Specially when he thought they were right for each other. His eyes would sparkle, his face light up, and that bulge in his pants would be super big. So the odds of him being Gay seemed rather slim to him. Maybe he was bi? But then, no he doubted that too, because nothing in the mags made him seem excited.

Inside he thought he knew the answer, but he didn’t want to think about it, to give it voice. It would only complicate an already complicated situation, or maybe not? The idea that they were that close, that maybe it wasn’t a physical attraction, but a more emotional one, that had let Mike feel what he had felt.

It was kind of flattering too, which he tried to contain. Last thing he needed was to think that Mike could be attracted to him. He had stripped, out of his friendship, not out of wanting Jeff to touch him, to suck him off.

‘Don’t Mike, it isn’t that you are gay, just that we are that close, that me and you, well, it’s about us, not about us both being guys. If you know what I mean.’

‘Sort of like what Jenkins in Science was talking about last semester?’

‘Yeah, like that.’

‘So you wanting me, is just, well, normal?’

‘I don’t know if it is normal, it is, well, ‘cuz we have been through a lot of shit together. Maybe that is all it is.’

Mike looked everywhere but at Jeff, then he pulled himself further up on the bed. His back was up by the headboard, and his legs stretched out, towards Jeff. His face seemed to change shape, as different thoughts passed through his mind. He had seen it before, knowing that Mike was thinking, that he was wrestling with a problem, that he wanted to solve.

Each time in the past, it had been about breaking up with some girl, or asking one out. Each time he had seen it, he had thought how it made Mike look attractive, desirable. Those were the times when it had been really hard for him to not say something, to not just drop his own pants and whack off to how Mike was looking.

Now it was even worse, because he had a suspicion Mike was about to dump him, to tell him that he couldn’t handle the whole gay stuff. Yet maybe not, as he had admitted that it had made him feel good. Maybe he had been telling him the truth, earlier, when he said he just couldn’t do it there, that maybe he was thinking of trying to let Jeff do it again?

‘we have, haven’t we?’

‘yeah.’

‘so, uh, what if I freak again?’

‘then you freak, but just ‘cuz it feels good, doesn’t make you queer.’

‘I guess, man this is weird shit man.’

‘Tell me about it.’

Mike finally looked right at Jeff. His face was still looking uncertain, but the eyes seemed to be convinced. It was weird, to look into his eyes, to see them twinkle a bit, as if they had just pulled a caper on their folks. He smiled at Mike, cocking his head to one side, just like he always did, when they had reached a decision on something, when he had deferred to Mike’s choice.

As he blinked, he saw Mike move a bit, and then watched in awe, as Mike reached around and pulled his shirt up and over his head. For a second, while his face was covered, Jeff could see his bare chest. The golden flesh muted by the room’s light, but there was no mistaking the well formed pecs. How his muscles rippled at his stomach, and more than that, how firm his nipples looked.

The shirt came off, and got tossed at him. He laughed, as he caught it, to put it over on his desk, realizing that Mike was trying to make it seem more normal, more natural, like when he would stay over. How he would just toss his clothes off, stopping with his shorts still around his waist.

Somehow, Jeff was fairly certain they’d be coming off too, as he grinned back at Mike, his smile frozen, when Mike asked if he was just going to sit there, or get ready. For a second he didn’t know what Mike meant, but as he watched his friend undo his buckle, and open the pants, he just found himself standing up, kicking his runners off to the side.

His own shirt was up and off in a flash, as he felt a runner kick him in the leg. Mike had tossed his off, flicking them towards him, and he had to move quickly to avoid the second flying runner.

Then Mike was pushing his pants down, his knees up as he leaned forward to pull them off. His eyes were fixed on Jeff’s body, and he quickly reached down and undid his pants, shoving them down to his ankles. Grasping the chair, he stepped out of them. Standing upright, he saw how Mike was staring directly at him, at his own basket.

He felt like he wanted to put his hands over his crotch, but he resisted. Jeff knew he was aroused, knew that his own shorts were fully tented by his dick, and that Mike could see it all, very clearly. His heart was kicking up in speed, as he tried not to look, but he couldn’t hold out any longer.

Jeff turned his head, to stare at Mike, who was leaning on his knees, his underwear still on. The eyes were staring straight at Jeff’s groin. The eyes were wide open, taking it all in, as Jeff stood there.

Mike leaned back, once he noticed Jeff looking at him. As he did, Jeff couldn’t help but see the huge pole, sticking up from the shorts. It really was like a tent pole, as he licked his lips. It was better than out at their place, as he watched Mike reach down, to slowly push the shorts off his hips. It was as if he was teasing him, as he glanced up, and sure enough he could see the smirk on Mike’s face.

The son of a bitch was enjoying tormenting him, as he let the shorts move slowly down his hips, his stiff dick being pushed down, almost as if it was being aimed at Jeff. What a sadistic bastard he thought, as he found himself grinning, watching with baited breath, for the sudden plop of the hard dick, as it came free from the underwear.

The bed shook a bit, as Mike’s dick sprung free, and his body settled back down into the mattress. Jeff saw it jerk, saw it waver and then steady itself, in a very erect position, from the middle of Mike’s crotch. His own dick was aching as he watched how quickly Mike pulled the shorts down, then pulled one leg up and out of the leg hole. The other leg held the empty shorts, as Mike flicked his leg outward, shooting the errant underwear across the room.

Jeff couldn’t help but follow it as it flew past towards his bedroom door. Then he turned his attention back to Mike, as he pushed his own shorts down. He too was fully erect, and he saw the glimmer in Mike’s eyes as he saw it. It was like he really was aroused by it, that somehow it did excite him, which only made him ache more, as he stood there, fully naked before his best friend.

‘uh, no kissing right?’

‘huh? oh, yeah, sure whatever you want.’

‘Serious man, I don’t think I could handle that mushy stuff, I mean, fuck, you always get that stiff when you see another dick?’

‘No, least not until now.’

‘Really?’

Jeff looked up from staring at Mike’s dick, and saw how he was really amazed by his comment. In some ways, he thought his friend’s chest has swelled up a bit, out of pride, and yet he couldn’t help but notice that he was nervous. His hand was twitching, the fingers tapping the top of the mattress, and his legs weren’t exactly spread fully apart either, as if trying to hide his crotch.

‘You sure you want to do this Mike? I mean if it’s too much…’

Mike just looked at him for a split second, and then down at Jeff’s own aroused dick.

‘No, I am not sure.’

‘We don’t have to Mike.’

Fuck it Jeff, we been friends a long time, and I don’t know, it feels weird, yet in a good way, so yeah, maybe I guess I do, uh, you do, don’t you?’

Jeff couldn’t help but smile, as he slowly moved forward, to climb up onto the bed. He let his hand move up, to rest on Mike’s knee, feeling him jerk back a little, then relax. It was suddenly like there was nothing else around. No clock ticking over by his desk, no wind moving the drapes by his desk. Nothing else seemed to exist, as he stared down at Mike’s groin, at the hard dick that was sticking up, jerking a little with each breath that Mike took.

He took a deep breath, as he leaned back a little, gazing at the offered prize, from his friend. He could feel him, feel his presence inside, then he felt his hand move up and rest on top of his own. He felt the sweat on the palm of Mike’s hand, as it lay on his own, feeling his own nervousness, as he finally looked upwards.

It was all he needed, the way Mike looked at him, as his own body shook, as he gently pulled on the knee, to push it out of the way. His own body moved around, as Mike’s leg pushed past under him, brushing past his balls. Jeff felt his body quiver, as the toes brushed past his sac, making him tremble deep inside.

His eyes closed, as he leaned forward, smelling Mike’s man scent, smelling his aroma. His mouth opened, as he felt Mike’s hand reach over to rest on Jeff’s head, as it lowered over the hot throbbing cock. He could feel it, as he let his mouth open, as his lips pursed, and then he felt the tip of it, just under his chin.

Jeff’s entire body shook, as if an earthquake had just rumbled full force right under him. His legs shook, his arms were quivering, as he felt the sticky precum make the cock slide up, as his tongue licked out, to gather it inside, brushing past the hot cock head.

The eye lids opened, to stare at the oval shaped head, that was almost at his lips. He could see the hairs of Mike’s groin standing up, see the veins around the whole shaft pulsing, as the blood rushed through them all. Then the eye lids closed, as he tasted the salty pre cum and felt its warmth across his lips.

He felt them tingle, as they parted, as he drew back his lips over his teeth, as Mike’s head began to enter Jeff’s mouth. He could feel the hand tighten around some of his hair, twisting the strands around the fingers, and pulling, then pushing, on them. His whole body became stiff, as he lowered his mouth over the cock, tasting the hot flesh, tasting the saltiness of the flesh. It surprised him a bit, as he felt the legs quiver, as his hands reached out to hold onto both knees, pushing them aside a little, as his head lowered even more, to gobble up more of the hard pole.

Jeff heard a small gasp, a bit of a rumbling groan as his lips slid down the side of the cock head, to rest just underneath the cap of the head. He could feel the blood pulsing now, feel the electricity passing between them both, and for a moment, he was certain he could feel Mike’s heart beat, next to his own.

As his mouth moved down, the hand on top moved away, and he felt the bed shake, as the fist was slammed down onto the mattress. He didn’t stop, as he let his tongue begin to lick up, the tip just barely able to move inside the mouth, as Mike’s cock filled every inch of Jeff’s mouth.

His throat was sore, but trying to stretch, as he continued to let his head move downwards, gradually taking more of the cock shaft into his mouth, gradually letting his tongue lick at the pulsing underside of the shaft. He could feel Mike shaking, feel the knees beside him quivering. His fingers gripped both knees tightly, until the fingers were touching the bony knee caps themselves.

He moaned a bit, as he tasted the pre cum sliding down his throat, as his nostrils were breathing in that scent, that was all Mike. Christ it smelled so good, so rich and full, as he continued to lick at the shaft, as it filled his mouth and throat with its size. His teeth grated over a bit of the top, but it didn’t seem to be noticed by Mike. Instead Jeff felt the bed vibrate a bit more, as he finally managed to have it all inside his mouth.

Jeff felt his nostrils flare, felt the tip of his nose pressing into the warm soft belly of Mike’s groin. The tiny pubic hairs were itching at his upper lip, and a few had managed to work their way inside his nostrils. He didn’t care, as he felt his chest heave, felt his body shudder. This is more than he had ever hoped for, as he tasted the hard flesh inside. It was everything he had ever hoped for, more even, as he slowly let his head move back, to let the long thick pole slide out from between his lips.

Twice more he managed to slowly move down, then up, to where Mike’s cock was almost out of his mouth, before beginning to slide it back inside. His tongue licked at the head, at just under the band of skin that formed the ridge of the head, when Mike’s hand suddenly was once more over his head, grabbing at his hair.

Jeff felt him grab hold, taking a huge handful of his hair in his fist, but instead of wrapping them around his fingers, he just held them, the back of his fist pushing down on Jeff’s head. His body was arching up, at the same time. Jeff struggled to resist, to set the pace, but Mike was much stronger than him, and he felt himself giving in.

He felt the pubic hairs prickling his cheek, under his nose, then felt the hard press of the belly into his face. The hand held him tightly, as the body arched up, then pulled back, then arched back upwards. It drove itself into his held head, the cock pushing past and down into his throat in several quick thrusts.

Jeff felt himself gagging a bit, but Mike didn’t let go, didn’t stop, as his whole body arched up again and again. Each thrust up trying to bury his cock deeper into Jeff’s open throat. He ignored the muffled gags, and Jeff could hear Mike’s panting breath now. His own heart was pounding loudly, but he heard the harsh gasps for air, as his head was held tightly, as Mike’s hard body kept pumping into his face.

He struggled to pull back, but Mike’s other hand now joined the first, holding his head steady, as Mike’s lower body pummelled into Jeff’s mouth. He felt the flesh strike him hard, felt his chin dig deep into the groin. Felt the tough leather of Mike’s scrotum, as his chin hit the balls, that swung and slapped against Mike’s thighs. He wanted to stop, to have Mike slow down, but he couldn’t.

It wasn’t like anything he had ever experienced, as Mike crushed his body upwards into his mouth. The hands clenched tightly, grabbing at his sweat soaked hair, and then he heard the animal like cry, that was coming from just above him. He knew what it meant, out of instinct, but as he tried to ready himself, the first stream was filling his mouth.

Jeff had tasted cum before, had sucked on a guy’s dick till it shot its load, but it was nothing like this. He felt his eyes water, felt his body tremble, as the hot sticky liquid began to fill the very bottom of his throat, as it’s sticky fluid seemed to flow in two directions at once. Some making its way down the quivering throat, the rest going upwards, coating the thick pole lodged between his throat muscles. Then it seemed to just flood his mouth, as the cock jerked again, adding more of the hot jizz.

He could feel it all, feel how Mike’s body was suddenly shaking, how his hands were now wrapped around and underneath, pulling Mike’s buttock upwards, pulling all of Mike’s dick deep into his throat.

Jeff felt himself swallowing, felt the sticky taste coating the sides of his throat, as the cry echoed in his bedroom. The hands holding his head, relaxed, then fell to the side, making the bed bounce, as they hit it. He felt his whole body shaking, felt the taste of Mike’s cream making his head swoon a bit, as he felt a bit faint.

Slowly he felt himself pulling his head back, the cock slowly sliding out from between his lips, until finally it was free. He leaned back, on his arms, and his eyes had trouble adjusting to the light of the room, as he felt his chest still pounding, felt his lungs still screaming for air.

As he managed to adjust to the light of the room, as the pain around his jaw became duller, he stared up and over at Mike. He felt his legs on either side of him, and as he looked, he noticed a sort of sheen across of all Mike’s naked body. He could see the sweat that had matted his friend’s hair, but it was the eyes that held his attention.

How alive they were, how much they shone, even in the daylight of the room. It was like staring into a bright searchlight, as they peered at him, making him ache.

‘Christ’

‘Mike, I…’

‘Jesus, I never, fuck Jeff, all guys like you suck like that?’

Jeff could feel his own chest swell up, as he stared at his friend. He just looked at him, then felt how his foot was rubbing his. Looking down at it, then up at Mike, he noticed that his dick wasn’t all that soft, and as he stared up into his face, he saw him get that look, that one, that preceded a coming decision.

BoyFunk’s Oliver seems to fit this particular scene quite nicely.

( click above image for larger view )

See Oliver’s Videos at BOYFUNK HERE

There is just something about Oliver, that grabbed my attention. It was almost like I was drawn to him, as I thought about how to write this particular episode of the story. Seeing the stills, well, what can I say, it helped a lot in figuring out how this portion would go.

Clearing the Air

By Ian Ko